What good is the concept of love to one who cannot feel it? Love, in an unnatural sense, is much more tolerable.
To have a lover in the way you would have an apple in a garden: someone forbidden, someone that you would fantasize about plucking and tasting, but someone you could never be allowed to be near. To be Eve in the Garden of Eden, tempted by the glaze of the fruit, but know the story well enough to dare not pick the apple, no matter how much you want to. Someone that you want to befriend, want to hold their hand, want to hold them close, but knowing that both of you would get in trouble. To be thankful that they, like an apple on a tall branch, are too far to reach and grab; to be thankful that they would never reciprocate your feelings.
And so you have to keep your mouth shut, and your intentions hidden. You must put on the appearance of a clean rose, and hide your thorns, because if they could dare to try and feel the way you do, they would get pricked and bleed. And who would be the blame for that? You would. No, it's easier to love someone who, instead of a rose, sees you as something less. A lover who doesn't love who; a lover who could and would clip you from the bushes, for you are wilting.
To have a forbidden lover, that sure is something. Though, "lover" is too direct a term for that relationship, isn't it? If they hate you, and you share that feeling, wouldn't that make you enemies? Still, there is something so intimate about that, too; something so amorous about admitting that feeling of hatred, and both of you silently knowing that there is something wrong with you, specifically, something that hatred could not disguise.
