Brettny: EFFIE WANTS DAT SHIT
Brettny: "Oh, Seneca, rub your beard in my face and tell me I'm going places!"
Brettny: "Oh, Mr. Crane, I'm perched here on your desk in a big frilly dress but I took off my wig and that's like me exposing my tits, so you should be really turned on and come have really unusual sex without taking my dress off because i'll never get it back on."
Paige: ...oh my god thats so perfect
Paige: new head canon accepted
Paige: except there has to be a drastic point in which effie dumps seneca for haymitch. and by drastic i mean like, he shaved his beard in a new pattern and it totally clashed with her dress one evening so she broke up with him because she couldnt be seen with him like that
Brettny: "SENECA I TOLD YOU TO DYE YOUR BEARD BLUE AND SHAVE IT LIKE WAVES TO MATCH MY OCEAN THEMES DRESS. WTF. Oh, hey, there's a drunk over there with long hair that looks like of like seasweed only the wrong color...so yeah, I think I'm gonna go talk to him. KBYE."
Paige: omg but if effie dumps seneca who would he beseen with next
Brettny: "Effie, darling, you broke my heart. No woman could ever compare to your bright wigs and- ah fucking hell. fuck you, effie. your wigs give me eye sores. and you're just a bitch. yeah, you're a bitch. I'm going to sleep with some guy tonight who doesn't wear wigs because you've ruined them for me. YOUVE RUINED EVERYTHING."
Paige: so he sleeps with a guy who has hair tattooed on his headbeacuse thats cool
Brettny: yeah and Effie is all over haymitch only she's put off because somebody from the capitol yells, "HE DOESNT EVEN GO HERE."