#interview with the vampire#iwtv#the vampire armand#assad zaman
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need to write that Fucked Up kanade idea i had where she starts spiraling but then is like Wait i need to Convince N25 that i am Fine (she is not) and so she tries something new (styles her hair like her mother's) and nobody rcatches on until they visit her house and see a photo of the Dead Mother and go Oh Fuck.
Random Frost Thoughts
“ So... i was minding my own Business the other day, when this jerk off Hero shoes up in my Palace! a big fight--- honestly it didn’t even amuse me! But as i’m SLOWLY choking him to death! He asks me why i’m like this! why i don’t just change my ways! be a good person! “
“ So i told him, because my dear little prey! I know exactly who i am! A Child Killing, People Enslaving, Interdimensional Tyrant! And i’d rather die a million times over, then ever pretend i am not who i am! “
“ After all, we should all be true to ourselves! why hide who we truly are... OH and if you are wondering... i snapped his neck like a twig... ”
okay so a quick intro/ramble about my daycord au it's essentially a personality swap that fits p well for the most part, with maybe a few changes. i havent written a lot of stuff with members of other units yet bc idk if i want to swap them or not kanade -> mafuyu mafuyu -> kanade ena -> mizuki mizuki -> ena it started frmo a 'what if' i had in which everyone coped just a bit differently. mafuyu's mom encouraging her to be a doctor/nurse (but still respecting her want to make music with n25) is whats spurring her on to try and save kanade. kanade's 'good girl' act is her trying to act how she did when she was younger before her dad collapsed. in this au, kanade's father was very insistent/pushed her to make music, to the point where she cant really tell if its something she has to or wants to do. she's essentially lost herself to composing, it's her anchor and also what destroys her at the same time. as for ena and mizuki, it's essentially them also dealing with their own things in different ways. mizuki lashes out more, she's short tempered but still deeply self conscious and scared underneath. ena laughs things off, deflecting instead of addressing her issues with her father and art. i dont have a lot of art for it but i do have this kanade. also currently working on the 2nd chapter of a fic for that au
um more thoughts later maybe im hungry
actually there was a scrapped scene in complex, useless, saviour where kanade knocks over and spills their antidepressants on the floor, and they arent actually sure if it was on accident or on purpose to cover up that they hadn't been taking them.
i never really got anywhere with it, but it was an interesting concept at least, and i want to write more about kanade being self destructive and then not being able to tell if its out of guilt/on purpose or unintentional.
also, so far, this has been my favourite scene by far that ive written. chapter 3 was fun to write for multiple reasons, but i'll talk about that once i wake up.
I love listening to The Songs That Make Me Want To Cry but the problem is they are also The Songs That Make Me Want To Cry
kanade seems lke the type of kid that would get into a lot of stupid situations. i want her to have been chaotic and whimsical before everything went to shit. like. let her eat pokemon cards. i did that. she broke her first bone at 2. i did that. am i projecting? yeah, but its fine, its for the whimsy.
this event just. kana5 it. it just. i love it.
sometimes when im writing a kanade fic thats particularly angsty, i like to take some time to focus on how her habits have affected her physically on top of mentally. for example, pointing out how she likely doesnt brush her teeth or her hair, so her hair would probably be greasy and matted or tangled, her gums would be bloodied because she doesnt take the time to even look in the mirror because thats a few seconds that could be spent composing.
on top of this, things like how pale she is, at her worst, maybe her eyes even sunken in, a gaunt face that almost feels reminiscent of her fathers, not that she would care to look in a mirror.
and its FUN, its so much fun to write that, kanade having to deal qith the consequences of what she does to herself when she actually tries to even begin to put herself back together. js some thoughts i have
making music is really fun :D so is writing lyrics :D I wanna share more soon :DD
