frozencentaur said: as soon as she said no they went to the couch fully clothed. Before that, she was participating in everything they were doing. In what way did he ignore her signals? Other than not being able to read her mind?
Let me explain my thoughts on psychics. If I walk into the apartment and you suddenly know, when I’m three steps in, that I don’t want sex, congratulations! You are a mind reader. Pass go and go to psychic academy.
But let’s say maybe there were signs. I’ll run through them. Let’s call it the Aziz Ansari test of whether you can go to psychic academy.
How to pass: if you experience more than one of these moments and realized “oh, maybe I should stop,” sorry, mind reading was not required. You are not a psychic.
----------------------------
1. He kept moving her hand to his dick, multiple times. She moved it away. Hey guys! If someone keeps moving their hand AWAY from their dick, that might not be a go signal.
2) She would physically move away from him multiple times. Usually people who want to consent, won't move across the room!
3) She stopped moving her lips when he kissed her. Some of us may be new to this one, but generally - you both participate a bit!
4) she says she "turned cold" which I would interpret as not reciprocating by touching the way you normally do while kissing etc. Again: classic warning signal, m'lads!
5) she leaves and goes in the bathroom for FIVE MINUTES. This either means someone is avoiding you, or they're legitimately really drunk, either way: probably should be a moment to hold up and evaluate!
6) she explicitly references that he's making the situation feel forced, and she would hate him if that happened. If that sounds like "you're hot, let's make out and also I want to suck your dick soon," there may be a language barrier at play!
7) Finally - if someone is not actually being pro-active about giving you a blow job, but only doing it on your command, you may want to think about whether this constitutes “enthusiastic” consent, which is the goal here.
Ok let me know if that helps, everyone! Good luck on getting into psychic academy this spring.