“P’Mos Pepperoni Pizza”
Every few months, the cycle begins anew. All of the pieces fall into place, the players set in motion by forces beyond their control. The clouds are gathering. A dark wind howls through the night.
There is no use fighting it: we are fated to be here.
Mom: “I can’t wait till you have kids.”
Me: “nah”
We have some version of this conversation a few times a year. The words change, but the feelings do not. She means well, and I don’t fault her for wanting grandchildren from one of her kids. She’ll probably get them. They just won’t be from me.
Kids aren’t for me. That’s not to say I don’t like kids. Hell, I was a kid at one point. But the idea of having a kid is such an unappealing concept to me, and it has been for a long time.
30 is the exact wrong age to feel this way, though. Friends are pairing off with their significant others, and kids are definitely on the horizon, if they haven’t already arrived.
Just like I’m sure there are many reasons to want kids, there are just as many for me to not want kids. And for me, the biggest reason is this:
I’m kind of a selfish prick.
John Cena: Commitment-phobe, attitude adjuster
Much like current WWE United States Champion/owner-of-a-perfectly-square-head John Cena, I feel like I live a very selfish lifestyle. I really enjoy the more-or-less absolute freedom I have to do, well, pretty much whatever I want on any given day. A night in playing video games? Done. Stay out till 3 am getting hammered on whiskey? No problem. Drop everything and go on a vacation? Absolutely. I can pursue almost any passion I want to do.
Having kids would sort of derail that for me, I think.
Some people I’ve talked to are convinced that having children will be their legacy. I can understand that sentiment, even if I 100% don’t agree with it. We all want to be remembered for something good, even after we’ve passed. For some, that’s the end goal: married, kids, family.
Palermo’s is a brand concerned with its own familial legacy as well, which might have been the reason they came up with P’mos, the “pub” alternative to their regular pizza offerings. For them, their “Pizzeria” and “Primo-thin” styles weren’t enough. Palermo’s wanted to start a little pizza family.
I’m not sure what qualifies a pizza as being “pub-style”, (maybe the pizza falls on the ground at some point? Then you eat it?) but this pizza was unremarkable in just about every way. The pie gets style points for its totally unnecessary abbreviation of the word “Palermo’s. But it’s unreasonably expensive ($9.99!), and takes forever to create, much like children.
(Calm down. I’m sure your kids are great.)
P’Mos Pepperoni Pizza-2.3/5