Chapter 7 - Murderers
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!JOHNS POV!
You feel your heart beat faster and faster as you walk towards the elevators, get inside and get closer to the main floor. You’ve missed this person so much, the relationship you two shared was one of the most special things you’ve ever had in life and was one of the things that kept you alive during your darkest days.
Though you have a pretty guilty conscience towards Jolene for just throwing her off the way you just did it, you feel like it was the only possibility you had to be able to concentrate completely on who you were going to meet. You take a look into the glass wall of the elevator and check your hair and your face. You wanted to look good. You wanted to make sure you would look different from what you looked like before you came to Cedars-Sinai. You wanted to surprise this loved person you were going to meet with your new good way of looking.
You get out of the elevator and walk towards the entrance hall. You don’t know why but you now start to feel extremely nervous, you just couldn’t wait to take back someone you’ve missed so badly back into your arms.
Just as you enter the big hall on the main floor you feel someone tapping your back and immediately you just turn around and open up your arms to greet who you’ve missed so badly.
“FLEA!” You just scream as he slips into your arms, you hug each other for a long time and as you untangle yourselves from each other you see a giant smile and a big tooth gap right in front of you, combined with 2 now glazy and wet eyes. “Johnny, I’ve missed you so bad, it’s so good to see you, oh my god look at you! You look a lot better from what I remember you did when I brought you here! “ Flea looks you up and down and now looks even happier. “ Yeah man I know. I feel way better. I never would have thought it could go that fast… I was brought to the personality disorder department after I behaved pretty bad down on floor 3 where the Rehab Center is, but tomorrow I’ll finally be able to go back to the 3rd floor.” “ John why the fuck couldn’t you behave like a normal person when I brought you here? I mean you just wasted away 3 weeks by staying on the wrong department because you behaved like you did back when you joined the band and you were on stage” You look down to the floor “ Flea…please don’t talk about that time..I…” “ Fuck, sorry John. I know I know, let’s just forget about that. Man, Dude, It’s so good to see you getting fitter. But still I don’t like the fact that you just wasted 3 fucking weeks in this hospital for your rude behavior “ Now you grin at Flea “ Oh Flea you have no clue. I didn’t waste any time. I’m actually happy it all came the way it did” Flea looks at you confused as you walk towards some settees in the entrance hall. “Well uhm John, you said you really hated coming to this hospital and now it sounds like you actually enjoy being here? What happened man?”
You look to the floor for one second and smile into yourself. You couldn’t wait to tell Flea the story about you and Jolene. It was the first time you really felt completely attracted to someone, there was nothing about Jolene that you didn’t like, you loved her blonde shoulder long hair, her green eyes, her pale skin….the way she looks at you after you kiss her and somehow you even like her unstableness about herself in some way, she just was who she was and she was beautiful.
“Well Micheal…Flea…man I met that girl…” “ What? One of those hot nurses like in the movies?” Flea grins at you widely, eager to hear more. “ No…not directly a nurse. She’s a patient on the personality disorder department, she is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met…she’s…she’s just all I’ve been looking for in a girl…” You expected Flea to get excited about the story of You and Jolene but now that you mentioned she was a patient as well Flea kind of looks worried and less happy about your news. “A patient as well.. John… Ok see, I’m very happy to hear that you’ve found someone here, I’ve never heard you talk about a girl like that … but the fact that she’s a patient as well kind of worries me man” Now you lose your smile as well. The fact that Flea wasn’t as excited about the story as you imagined he would be made you feel really disappointed.
“ What do you mean, it worries you Flea? Trust me, she’s perfect…” “ Well John, I’m sure she’s a wonderful person but it’s just… just the fact that she obviously must be emotionally unstable when she’s a patient in a mental hospital… not quiet the right thing for you at the moment John… I mean.. you need someone who is able to handle your bad patterns and stuff… you’re not the most stable person as well, you two could pull down each other and everything could end in one big catastrophe. Please don’t get me wrong… I’m just really worried. I want you to get better.. REALLY better.”
The fact that Flea thought about you and Jolene in a negative way really made you feel sad, you just wanted to share everything with him since he’s one of the most important persons in your life and you wanted it to make him feel as happy as it made you feel happy.
“Well…Flea I think she’s on her way to get better, she doesn’t feel like an unstable person to me, whenever I meet her she’s actually really happy…I mean most of the times. And she’ll get even better when she completes her therapy..”
“John, it’s not that I don’t grant you being with this girl and you don’t need to justify yourself and your relationship to her. I just don’t want you to worry about someone else than yourself right now, You need to look after yourself and waste all your energy on getting better. But I know what you’re like… You always look at the others at first, how they’re doing, if they’re alright and stuff before you look at yourself and how you feel. But now is the time for you just to concentrate completely on yourself.”
You think about Flea’s words for a second and decide that he’s right but still there was no way for you to get away from Jolene, you were in love and nothing could turn the feelings you developed for her away.
“ You’re right Flea…you’re totally right. I know I have to care for myself. But if I have to do that, that also means I have to be with her because she makes me happy. I mean when I met her I instantly felt something between us, I’m not sure what exactly that was but… the spirits they told me that I needed to get to know her…and she’s slowly starting to trust me, damn Flea I think I really want to be with this girl, even after this rehab. I want a serious relationship with her…”
Now Flea smiles at you with a soften expression on his face. “ Man Johnny you really never talked about a girl like that…I see she really must mean a lot to you. I just hope that she is ready to start a relationship as well. I mean.. I know a whole lot of people having problems with themselves and falling into depression, whenever they start to get into relationship everything starts to mess up and everything gets worse and worse… I don’t want this to happen, not to you brother.”
You now come over to hug Flea. The fact that he was always that honest to you and cared for you the way he did made you feel so good, you wish you’d find the words to actually tell him, but there were no words that would have been worthy enough for a brother like Flea.
"Damn Flea, you’re the best. Your honesty means so much to me.” “John you’re my brother. I’ll always want the best for you and if you feel like that girl..-“ – “Jolene” you interrupt Flea and smile as you speak her name “…. Yeah Jolene, if you really like her that much and if she’s ready to be with someone as fucked up as you, then there’s nothing else I want but eternal happiness for you” You smile at each other and Flea gets a coffee for both of you.
“Oh man, John. You’ve got a thing for messed up girls don’t you?” Flea smiles “I remember that one girlfriend you had…what was her name again? Anne? AMANDA! Amanda was her name right?” You roll your eyes and feel ashamed of yourself for being with a girl like Amanda once, just as you hear that name. “Oh god Flea…” “Yeah, she was messed up man. I remember that strip poker story you told me once, and how you always broke up and then she would call you all the night through to tell you she loved you and you got back together…and how she always wanted you to do weird stuff in bed..” You don’t know if you should laugh or cry about the memory you had of that girl, she was a total nut and used to drive you crazy with her fucked up mind games. “Well she was totally nuts Flea you’re right. But Jolene… oh please don’t even think about comparing them. Jolene is not that messed up. Her soul just needs to find itself again, she’s not one of those psychopath girlfriends I used to have back then…” Flea imitates a sad face “ Oh what a shame, it would’ve been a lot of fun to get to know another one of these girls”
“So…does that mean that…you’d actually like to get to know Jolene ?” You now feel immense happiness rise up inside you. At first Flea didn’t seem happy about the idea of you being with a new girl, specially because she was a patient in a mental hospital, but now Flea seemed to get curious about how Jolene actually was. “ John! Of course I HAVE to get to know her in time, it just warms my heart to hear you talk so passionate about a girl… I don’t remember anytime you ever did that before…she must be someone really special, if you’re out of here again you two should come over…we could have some barbecue or something.” You smile inside yourself by the idea of finally coming around Fleas house again… and bringing your new girlfriend with you! “Man..Flea I can’t wait to come around your place again! Somehow I’m really excited about life again..”
You look at Flea excited but he changes his face impression to a worried one again “John … please take it slow. You need to concentrate on your rehab now. We’ll be able to do all these things when you’re completely back to life and fine again, but you’ve still got some way to go.” You feel sad about what he says but at the same time you know that Flea is right. He was right most of the times, and if he wasn’t he at least had been honest. “And one more thing John… you know I already said that I’m really happy for you about that gi… I mean Jolene, but please take care of yourself. I’m afraid somehow she could pull you down again… she probably doesn’t feel that fine all the time, am I right?” “Umm…well… I noticed that there are some mood swings going on inside her, I mean she often looks happy than sad again, happy, sad….but she’s here to get it right Flea. Trust me. I know what I have to do for myself and so does Jolene”
Flea looks still kind of worried but smiles at you anyway. “ John, it's so good to see you again. I miss you so much brother. And Chad and Ant, we all miss you.” As he mentions the names Chad and Ant, especially Ant, you look down on the floor for one second, feeling some stitches in your heart. “ Yeah….I miss you too Flea, all of you, really.” You don’t know what else to say and feel kind of confused after hearing the names of your former band members and Flea instantly notices that he had hit some raw point so he decides to change the subject before he has to leave. “ Oh and Clara wanted me to give you a kiss from her…but well I won’t do that. She’s looking forward to see you again as well, man she’s missing you badly. She loved the post card you sent to her for her 10th birthday and said she wanted to make a party just for you and her when you’re back. And she’ll hate me for telling you this but she’s still cuddling the Ernie you got her for her 4th birthday when she goes to bed.” Your heart makes a jump as you hear Flea talking about his daughter Clara. She was one of the smartest persons you had ever met in your whole life and not having seen her for so long and now thinking of her almost made you burst into tears. “ Little Clara…” you say to yourself. “ Well I know you won’t kiss me, but kiss her for me Flea…You know.. if Ernie doesn’t mind. Her first boyfriend” You and Flea both instantly laugh and the thought of him having to leave you now made you sad. “ John I gotta go now. I have to get little princess Clara from ballet classes.” You stand up and give your best friend Flea a tight hug, you sigh softly as you notice that your tears were getting wet, but you look at Flea and see that there was already a tear slowly going down his cheek. “ Oh god Flea…you little sissy” You joke but then you two just stand there smiling at each other as you feel a tear running down your cheek as well.
“You’re the best friend someone could ever ask for Flea” You quietly say to yourself as Flea has already reached the revolving door to leave the building.
With a good feeling and now wanting to tell Jolene who you had met to make her stop being so incredibly worried you walk towards the elevators. As you reach floor 5 you instinctively walk straight to the smoker’s lounge knowing that 5pm was one of Jo’s smoking hours. You see Martin walking towards you, laughing at you with his disgusting crooked teeth. You think you’re hearing poorly for a second as he just says “ Oh there comes Mister Red Hot Chili Pepper. I bet she has a tight pussy does she? Well done junkie!”
You stop for a second and think about just slapping the holy hell out of Martin, you feel extreme anger rising inside of you by hearing the words junkie and Mister Red Hot Chili Pepper out of his disgusting mouth and he clearly tried to insult and hurt you badly.
“Oh well, whatever” you think to yourself, you decide not to care about what an ignorant person like him would say and with that tight pussy thing he probably had been talking about one of the groupies he was assuming you had. “There’s no point in paying attention to beings like him…” you say to yourself and instantly get back into the happy mood you had after Flea had visited you.
You spot some blonde hair through the glass door of the smokers lounge and can’t wait to give Jolene a quick kiss on her cheek, just fast enough for no one to see.
You get inside the lounge, grab a chair next to Jolene but then suddenly feel like having a heart attack as you just see her sitting there and smoking, her face is red and her black mascara is spread all over her cheeks. She must had been crying badly.
Now she looks up at you and starts to cry again. Feeling that something terrible must have happened you instinctively take her hand and stroke it softly.
“Babe…Jolene…what’s wrong? What happened?
Jolene looks at you crying,you can see the fear and anger inside her eyes.
“John… John….we….we got caught”