#fruity post

[thedevilsfamiliar]

We're chatting and suddenly Ttops goes "is that a hummingbird???" and then proceeds to tell me a hummingbird childhood story

I love them

I love them so much

[thedevilsfamiliar]

hi yes ramble bout ttops as much as you want ave

You ask me to ramble about my partner and an answer ye shall receive!

Ttops is fucking amazing, Lav- I have no idea what the hell I managed to do to get his attention, y’know? Like- I remember seeing him come online one day and I just immediately zeroed in on him :uglycry: my attention kept going back to him despite everyone else being online- and I just had to continue poking to see what would happen. I remember telling Leal to chill out, that I wasn’t going to fall so quickly- and then not even a day later I was gay panicking in her dms. I went from “aw, they look cute flustered” to “wait, I actually like making them flustered”.

and then like a casanova, Ttops slid into my dms /am

Little shit wanted my sole attention- we ended up talking nonstop and clicking- I hold no regrets. Our get together is so messy because neither of us know when we actually became official- was it when I divorced him and he asked to marry me? Is it when I confessed to loving them and only them? Who knows! 

Though I do remember him dragging me into a kiss and me being a confused mess because we didn’t know where we stood at the time. 

It’s... hm, I’m flustered.

Lav, did you know he can ramble nonstop about his favorite subjects? I love how their ADHD works, because it’s beautiful. It hyperfocuses him on a certain topic and when that happens, they’re just absolutely lovely to listen to.

Listen to... Lav, Ttops has a beautiful voice. Be it when they sing to me or when they chat, I love them. I love how deep it can get too- but that’s a whole other topic afjalfjfalkjdfl

I want us to work, and for that I am willing to let myself be vulnerable. I am willing to bring down these walls I built and let them see me and everything I hide. Anyone who’s followed me for a long time knows how I feel about that, so yes, this is a big deal for me.

I don’t want them to be a paragraph in my story- nah, I want them to be in the entire fucking novel.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Ramble about ttops pls 🥺👉👈

Sabian my beloved, thank you for enabling my pinning ass <3

As I was saying

Ttops, my darling. My gorgeous partner, an exquisite human being, so gosh darn talented- I love them, okay? I love them so much that I feel the need to broadcast it to the world so others can mourn with me our inability to be together 

I have so many things to ramble about, Sabian, that I don’t know where to start!

Let’s begin with one of my personal favorites- Ttops fell asleep on call the other night and I went to youtube to watch some videos while my dork slept- and then as I paused my video I caught on to a sound in the background. My cutie pie was wheezing in his sleep, Sabian. Every time he breathed and breathed out, a little whistling sound would wheeze out and it was so cute, Sabs. I stayed like that, listening for a while longer until the sound lured me into a nap. There’s just something so comforting about being able to hear your partner breathe, y’know? Knowing that they’re there, out of reach but there. I completely and utterly adore them.

The other night we were talking about the start of our relationship and how I was essentially running around clueless, begging @leal-love-lace for help because I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signals right- and this utter buffoon has the nerve to laugh at me and wheeze that they liked me but thought I was taken. That’s right, Sabs! Taken. My dumbass of a husband genuinely thought I was dating Stardust Dabi- who belongs to another Avery, may I add. I love them, but they had no brain cells I find that very sexy of him <3

He sees the little pieces of me that I think I keep hidden- and every now and then they tell me something that leaves me utterly bamboozled. I’m trying to keep my mysterious aura and they’re having fun tearing it apart and seeing me, y’know? and that? Sabs, that makes me feel loved.

I have never, not even once, doubted that Ttops loved me. Not once. He loves me truly and utterly and I adore him tenfold. They deserve so many good things, Sabian, so many good things, and I hope to be one of those things in their future. He makes me so happy, it’s impossible to erase my giddy smile whenever I’m talking to him.

Sabian, he’s my future. I know I’ve spoken a lot about what I want and what I feel, but when I talk to them about what they want out of this and know that they want the same- it brings me so much comfort. We talk about where he want to live, where we want to go. We talk about our future, about how I’m going to pick them up and spin them around because I’m the tall one in this relationship. We talk about every soft subject you’d expect. 

Wanna know a secret, Sabs? We’re both overwhelmingly territorial :uglycry: call it possessive, jealous- same thing. What matters is that we have our moments where we get huffy because the other is looking/simping for a character- yeah, you read that right. A character. We’re disasters, Sabs. Complete and utter disasters- and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

In conclusion: I adore ttops, I’m never going to stop adoring ttops and I can talk about them for hours <3

[bustedxy]

I think I love mangoes. It’s that kind of like fruity spicyness that just teases your tastebuds until they can’t wait for more.

[easybake-coven]

16 november

Common Discourtesy of the Day: walking and texting so distractedly that you have no regard for others around you. siriusly, i almost got run down at school the other day by this bitch who was texting and walking and not looking up from her phone. i decided to teach her a lesson and didn't move until the last minute, which resulted in her giving me a dirty look and then resuming her super important convo probz related to kittens or dancing with the stars.

don't be an asshole, look where you're walking... also, she looked like a complete idiot.

--

sidenote: i may be kind of a bitch.

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been thinking a lot lately about divinity and god and stuff. very heavy. the unique comparison i've arrived at has to do with objective interpretations of concepts that are universally tangible and beautifully simple, which are always corrupted by the minds of men for frequently nefarious purposes. case in point: candy. candy often mimics fruit flavors, which in turn influences other flavored products. fruit chews, like starburst, or skittles, have basic popular fruit flavors such as grape, strawberry and watermelon. jolly ranchers also. even cough medicine is often advertised as having a cherry flavor. but who among us can honestly say the these artificial processed sugar indulgences taste anything remotely related to the actual flavors of grape, strawberry, watermelon or [especially] cherry?? it's as though as long as something is purple, pink, or red, we accept this poorly replicated, totally invented man-made substitute for something naturally occurring. isn't fruit nature's candy? that isn't good enough? no. we have to put our twisted human spin on something innately good, and good for us, because it's more easily mass produced and palatable for the whole world.

i think this is very much akin to god. i'm not saying there's any right way to view a higher power whatsoever. but i do remember overthinking it and deconstructing the images and descriptions i was raised with in the catholic church. so when i tried getting clean, and was told i needed to believe in something greater than myself, i had a lot of resistance. but a therapist put it to me early on so incredibly simply: there is just far too much beauty and complexity in this world for a species such as the human race to comprehend fully or come up with answers for, and to think that there couldn't be something bigger holding it all together, responsible for its creation, and keeping some sort of balance is egregiously ignorant. i look at a thunderstorm or a sunrise, the light in the eyes of a newborn as well as in two people who are in love, and consider the path i was on before i got my shit together, and i know there is definitely something greater than me, than man. the trick is not overanalyzing and distorting it for selfish reasons. god + politics = disaster. books supposedly showcasing the word of god can end up becoming the inspiration for violence and hatred. it can result in people desperate to believe in something spending tons of money on initiation fees or membership dues, giving up their children, etc. i just think that we have a responsibility to ourselves and to one another to think for ourselves, question what we're taught, and seek the truth in any way that we can. don't settle for your strawberry god when you have all the proof you need in your own garden.

and that's all i have to say about god(dess).