INSTAGRAM Leylayilmazx: The gift that keeps on giving 🖤
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INSTAGRAM Leylayilmazx: The gift that keeps on giving 🖤
@mobscene-starters
"Ant, come here." Ever since Antoine learned how to walk, he also learnt how to run. Which made Leyla be very busy and active and aware at all times. It was great to see him picking things up so quickly, but she still felt iffy about London and all things happening, so the fear of him getting snatched in every corner was there constantly with her. "Mommy, Toto ran away again." The little one, who was finally caught, was grinning with a smile that was very much like his fathers, naughty.
"You've been hanging out with daddy and his friends again?" Leyla pinched his cheek just as she noticed Ant's eyes dart above her. "Oh, did he dirty you clothes?" He also had a habit of grabbing onto things.
Before her son, Leyla had tried to excuse her parents for the way they had shunned their daughters from their lives. She tried to make excuses for them, tried to imagine numerous reasons of why they did what they did. They'd been worried about Ceren, worried about the life she had chosen, which would eventually lead to her death. And they were right, were they not? As they did lose their daughter in the end.
It became harder when they still kept that mindset, even at her funeral. Where they refused to acknowledge, refused to believe the reality. Was it guilt? That in the last years of her sister's life, they were not there? They were not able to hold her, not able to celebrate her birthdays, not able to have tea or go back home to Turkey to visit their relatives as a family?
In the beginning, it was Leyla who stepped away from them, angry that they would make such a decision, that they would cut their daughter out of their lives. Yet, as time went by, as she decided she herself wanted her parents, her mother in her life. She realised it was not her decision at all. That they once again decided, even with the loss of their first daughter, they were fine with losing the second.
Her mom barely picked up her calls, barely agreed to meet and even if she did, she was barely present. Long gone were the times where she'd try to convince her of another life. It seemed that her mom was fine with the way things were and began to see her last remaining daughter as a distant relative. Perhaps more like the sister of Ayaz rather than his cousin.
It was with the birth of Antoine that Leyla realised how fucked up the situation was. Because with his birth, from the moment that little bundle of joy was in my arms - she knew she would always do everything in her power to give him the best life, to make sure he is loved, to make sure that he is happy. She couldn't imagine a time, a day, a minute where she'd be able to cut him out of her life. There isn't anything her child could do, to do what her parents did to her and her sister.
So why could her mom? Why did it feel so easy for her to do it?
"Hey mom," he call had gone to voicemail, as it did when she tried these days, "Happy Mother's day." Those words hurt to say, because her mom hadn't been her mom for a very long time now. "I don't know if I will still call after this... But you're Deniz' grandma and just... Maybe I thought you'd be interested to know... He's fully sitting up these days, smiling and laughing - which I swear is the purest thing on this earth. His first words were as you'd expect mamma and papa which now he loves to say on repeat... He's really amazing and I think you'd have loved him." She stayed silent for a few beats, wondering what else she could say, but nothing came to mind. "Well... I guess that's all. Bye."
leylayilmaz: a gentle reminder that the little French bro is growing. @laurent--stpierre
leylayilmaz: Cozy evenings, first birthdays, second Christmas ❤️
leylayilmaz: happy 🎃🎃🎃
LeylaYilmaz: Travel in style because Mr Antoine has got 3 dates planned and is about to be knighted by the king.
leylayilmaz: Happy First Father's day. @laurent--stpierre