Was this his smartest idea? Maybe not. But technically, there was nothing wrong about this, opinions be damned. She was single now, although when he thought about that, he was reminded with the fact that she might just be single because of him. Impulsive actions would be the death of him, nevertheless, he flew Bree out here because he couldn’t help himself. Ryder found himself a bit weak when it came to her, and the idea of her teasing him the way she was had him at her mercy almost. He had a driver meet her at the airport, so here he sat on his couch, flipping through the channels as a source of distraction and checking his watch every other minute until there was a knock on his door. Walking over, he swung it open as he offered her a warm smile, fingers pushing back slightly grown out brunette strands, “You’re really here...wow.”
Now that he was living on the east coast, getting to Castleport was annoyingly more easy than it was when he was in California. Of course he was thankful to still be in the NFL after the whole blackmail scandal and missing out on the Superbowl, but he was still hanging in there now that he was on the Giants. And with Rachel dead, as morbid as it sounded, maybe he would be in the clear. Of course he was going to have to figure out what she did with that fucking tape, but for now, was it bad to say he felt a little more at ease? He didn’t know, he hadn’t really had time to sit around and soak up just how her being dead made him feel. Still, it was Halloween, and so far it was going way better than last years where his intelligence, or lack thereof, was exposed. His costume wasn’t anything special, he was just wearing a Freddy from Nightmare on Elm street sweater with some fake blood here and there.
Pushing the doors open to the Maggie, he made his way over to the bar after the casual greetings of the town folks left and right while he maneuvered through the crowd.”Shot of jack please.” He called out, quickly getting it to slam it back and then order a regular drink of jack and coke to match it. Ryder was used to people stopping him when he was at the Maggie, wanting to talk, wanting to take a picture for their instagrams, and as he wiggled away from the crowd to try and get some headspace, he slammed into a smaller frame and spilled his drink, “Fuck, my bad...” He began before his eyes fell on Bree, nodding slowly, “Oh, uh....did I get any on you?” Ryder questioned, motioning to his now half empty drink with a purse of his lips in a straight line, trying to remain as casual as possible.
WHAT: Ryder runs into Bree and things are....tense, whoops.
WARNINGS: N/A
Practices back at Castleport High were Ryder’s favorite memories in school, so being back in the halls of the athletic wing was nostalgic for him. Coach wanted him to come, watch and help out for the team considering the season was starting up for them, and Ryder was the first big name. In a way, he owed coach for everything he’d done for him back in the day, the way he believed in him and supported whatever he needed...it was like having a second father in a way. So, of course he agreed to stopping by for a bit. Trophies were still in the case, pictures of him and the team, records he’d set when he was a senior and took them to state...it was nice to have his mind be off the shit on his head when he was back in town as of recent. The note from Rachel still fresh on his mind, although he was thankful Hunter and Sugar didn’t spend too much time behind bars, even if the guilt was heavy on his shoulders.
So heavy that he got lost in his thoughts as he told Coach bye and rounded the corner to almost trample the person on the other side. “Shit, I’m so sor---” Ryder began, only to have his eyes fall on the one person in town who probably knew him best outside of Hunter and Sugar; Bree. His whole body flushed, and he tried to brush it off by taking a few steps back to give her some space. “Uh, yeah, sorry.” The young man muttered, feeling the tightness in his chest, heart pounding in his ears. It was crazy that she had this effect on him, but granted he hadn’t seen her in person this close in six years, and he nervously ran his fingers through his hair as he hiked up the bag on his broad shoulder. Honestly, for the first time, he was speechless around a girl. He’d gotten good at the charm, mastering it to talk his way out of anything, but this was the one thing and one person who took that from him.
WHAT: The last time Ryder and Bree ever saw each other/spoke to each other in person, aka the end of their relationship.
WARNINGS: N/A but lots of angst and feels folks.
bree:
Back to school...football...Los Angeles... Bree heard the words being spoken by an enthusiastic Ryder, watching as he haphazardly threw pretty much everything into duffle bags with no organization whatsoever. She was sititng on the edge of his bed, hands gripping the edge of the mattress tightly. No matter how hard she wished it wasn’t, summer was coming to an end which meant that she would be left behind. While everyone went back to their campuses, what seemed like entirely different lives. Especially her boyfriend, traveling thousands of miles across the country away from her. “Ry, sit down for a second. We need to talk.” She was cringing before the words were even out, hating how cliche this all was. Breaking up with him because the long distance wasn’t working out...although seeing everyone back together this summer had also brought back issues Bree thought had been long put to rest.
ryder:
To say he was excited was an understatement. When he got his scholarship, despite less than excellent grades, he was over the moon. Football was the one thing he knew he had down, the one thing he was for certain he was great at. So having that possibly be his career, his life, it was all so surreal to him. So surreal, however, he didn't notice the unease of his girlfriend as she sat on the edge of his bed as he carelessly packed his bags. It was her voice that snapped him out of his rambling, brows raising a bit as he suddenly went from thrilled to worried, a sinking feeling now replacing the butterflies that were in his stomach. Still, he straightened his shoulders as he walked over to her, brows now furrowed a bit as he sat down beside the girl. "Hey, what's going on?" Ryder asked, reaching over to place a hand on her knee, gaze scanning her features as he pursed his lips together. "Something's on your mind, I can tell. I'm sorry, I've been so scatterbrained and what not, I didn't mean to be, like, insensitive??"
bree:
The look of concern on his face was almost enough to make her rethink her decision, trying not to let the inner tornado of her thoughts show through her own expressions. A losing battle considering this was Ryder she was talking to, but it didn’t stop her from trying. It was instinct for her to set her hand on top of his, interlacing their fingers without thought as she paused, as if she could just stretch out the moment long enough that it didn’t have to happen at all. “It’s not your fault. I mean, not entirely.” Maybe a little harsher than she intended to be, but it was the truth. Squeezing his hand once as if in silent apology Bree took a deep breath and pushed it off of her leg, crossing her arms across her chest as if that would keep her from doing something more. “Do you think we’ve been kidding ourselves this entire time? Thinking that we’d be able to keep this going? Because honestly, I don’t see how that’s going to happen. I miss you, Ry. I miss you so much when you’re not here and I just -- I don’t think I can keeping doing this.”
ryder:
There was a thumping in his chest, heart pounding in what was obviously not just a simple talk but THE talk. The beginning to an end he didn't want, one that scared the living hell out of him. A small frown settled onto his features when she spoke, glancing down at their hands which he usually found comfort in, only now finding an almost empty feeling. Just a few hours ago everything was fine, they were hanging out with old friends, they couldn't keep their hands off each other and now.....this. "I'm sorry, whatever I did or said, I probably just wasn't thinking..." He began, only stopping to let her speak when she pulled her hand away. And then she said it. His jaw clenched as he racked his brain for something to say to get her to change her mind, and he sighed as he shook his head, "I want to keep this going, I don't want to just end it. I miss you too Bree, hell I miss you all the time, I always tell you if you want to come out and visit in LA you can. Cutting this off isn't going to stop us missing each other, it's only going to make things worse." He explained, trying not to sound too panic and trying to keep calm as he looked over her face, "Bree, please, you're not the only one who gets a say here. I....I love you." Ryder reminded her, eyes trying to catch hers, to try and almost plea for her not to just give up on him entirely.
bree:
It was almost an echo of what had happened a few years ago, when it really had been just the two of them. A stupid argument over something Bree didn’t even remember now, probably boiling down to her insecurities that were evidently still at play now. But so much had happened since then: Rachel, getting back together, graduation, the year they spent falling asleep on Facetime just to hear the sound of each other breathing. It all made this, the moment they were in, so much more difficult. And both times it had been Bree who ended things, so at least she wasn’t completely blindsided. “Yeah, and when am I supposed to do that? When you’re practicing every night during football season? Or even after that, when you have your workouts with the team, or I’m teaching some dance class full of Upper East Side barbies way past their prime?” A noise somewhere between a dark chuckle and a scoff passed her lips, trying desperately not to let his words get to her. “That’s the thing, Ry,” she continued softly, lips pressing together tightly as she looked away for a moment to gather herself. So she wouldn’t break down in front of him, the simple I love you coming from his lips so easily feeling like they pierced straight to her heart. If she had one left after this, anyway. “I know that, but lately it seems like...I don’t know. That it’s not just the two of us in this relationship?” Bree’s hands moved to her forehead, rubbing her temples in frustration. How was she supposed to explain it to him? “There’s so much history here, so many people that are impossible to ignore. I see the way she still looks at you.” Not even wanting to say the name Rachel, as if it would summon her there, the girl took a deep breath, ignoring the way her voice shook on the last few words.
ryder:
Her words were honest, not something he wanted to hear, but honest nonetheless. The distance was hard on her, he knew that, and often he craved to be closer to her as well. Falling asleep on FaceTime was only so good until you wanted the real thing, to feel the gentle rise and fall of their chest and how peaceful it felt to have arms draped over you. He knew that, but he didn't want to admit it. "I want to try! I don't want to throw this away, I'm trying to look at the bigger picture here Bree." He murmured, voice soft, trying to fight the tightness in his chest and focus on trying to get her to change her mind. Anything to make this not the end. This wasn't some typical high school fight, this was for real, because a girl like Bree was desired and so was he, and the thought of losing her to someone else who could give her the things that he couldn't....well, it hurt. The way she avoided eye contact made him feel cold, a shiver racing down his spine as he looked down at his lap where he absentmindedly picked at his nails. Because she didn't say it back, she didn't repeat the one thing he hoped he could hold onto, which meant things were made up in her mind. However, his brows knit together, gaze shooting back up to her now. Rachel, the main demise to their relationships and how she seemingly kept his attention for a short moment. He loved Bree, whole heartedly, but he had made a mistake one too many times. Ryder was trying to prove he'd changed, that Bree was the one who he wanted, but it seemed she couldn't let it go, "Wait, you aren't being serious? Bree, c'mon, I thought we were past that. You're the only person I want, you know that." He explained with a shake of his head as he stared her down, moving his body to face her, "I don't give a fuck about her, I made a mistake, it's in the past. History is just that, something that is in the past." He stated, wanting so badly to reach out to her but keeping his hands now at his sides as he watched her.
bree:
“And what is the bigger picture here, Ryder, hmm?” she retorted quickly, her eyes wide as she finally looked over at him for a brief moment. Her shoulders half-shrugged in frustration, shaking her head as her gaze reverted back to a spot on the wall across from them. Of course I’m being serious was on the tip of Bree’s tongue, until he kept going without really giving her a space to say it. Squeezing her eyes shut tightly she bit down on her bottom lip, feeling one tear slide down her cheek until she wiped it away quickly. “I’m just so tired. Of worrying that there’s going to be some girl in California that has her eye on you. And then, even when you’re here, of worrying that that history is going to repeat itself,” she admitted, using his own words against him. That was all that it boiled down to, really. Her own doubts that she was good enough, that she deserved everything that Ryder seemed so eager to give. Because she didn’t.Swallowing hard she lifted her gaze to look at him, one knee shifting under her body as she did so. And that simple movement, seeing the pain on his face was almost enough to break her, to have her lean forward and throw her arms around him so tightly like she wouldn’t let him go. Instead, Bree forced herself to push forward, channeling the resolve she had all through high school that got her what she had wanted every time. (And choosing to ignore the fact that once upon a time, the thing she had wanted most was the boy sitting next to her.) “I just don’t think it’s fair. To either of us. It feels like we were just heading toward this inevitable end, trying so hard to avoid it but all we did was prolong it. This is for the best, I truly believe that.” It was hard to convince herself, let alone Ryder, of that fact when they were together. But she forced herself to think of those weeks without him, the loneliness she had felt, and the slowly dawning realization that this was the only possibility for them. Even if it meant no possibility at all.
ryder:
It was baffling to him that she couldn't understand the bigger picture, and he felt his face twist into an almost offended expression, "The bigger picture is us being together!" He said with a shake of his head, fingers carding through his hair in frustration as he reminded himself to keep his cool. Often, Ryder let his emotions get the best of him, his heart often too big for his body which was a blessing and a curse. But right now he was attempting to not fly off the handle, even if his body was practically shaking with everything he was feeling. Seeing that tear roll down her cheek was a sharp pain, because so badly he wanted to reach out and brush it away only for her to do so herself in a hasty manner. "So you don't trust me?" He murmured, eyes casting down to his hands again as he sighed, "Bree, no one can compare to you. But if that's what you think of me, then fine, I get it." Ultimately, he felt defeated, because even with him trying to show he had changed...his mistake would forever haunt their relationship. And, he didn't even have a good enough reason as to why he did it other than his childlike curiosity.Standing, he walked over to his bags and continued on packing, except this time it was a bit slower because his mind wasn't even able to focus on the task at hand. He let his gaze drift back to her, sitting on his bed, and he pursed his lips together, "If that's what you want, if that's what makes you happy, I'm not going to fight you on it. I'm not going to force you to stay in something you don't want." Saying the words were hard and he tried his hardest to not let that shake in his voice be heard, but it was there, and he clenched his jaw to swallow back those tears that were starting to sting his eyes. Because he didn't want to cry, crying meant it was real, and he just wanted to avoid feeling anything when he should've been excited to go back to LA. Now, however, it seemed to be bittersweet. "I'm sorry."
bree:
Did she trust him? Everything in her wanted to say yes, that that wasn’t the issue. And to be completely honest, it wasn’t necessarily him that Bree didn’t trust, it was everyone else. Both the people that she knew and the people that she didn’t, knowing how great of a guy Ryder was. Which made it even harder not to keep him for herself, even if she knew this was what was supposed to happen. “Ryder, I…” her voice trailed off, licking at her lips as she watched him move around the room again. Maybe it was easier this way, to let him think that trust was the issue and it was that simple. If that’s what would make her happy. God, how could he think that this is something that she wanted? Wasn’t he the one that was supposed to know her better than anyone else? And if this was him fighting for her, it wasn’t much of an effort. “No, don’t apologize. It’s nothing you could control, nothing either of us could control.” Despite herself Bree couldn’t help but stand and approach him, reaching her hand up to lightly trace over his clenched jawline. Seeing him like this was much worse than the thought of not seeing him again had been, and she let her fingers trail down his arm before interlocking them together tightly. For the last time, she couldn’t help but acknowledge. “This doesn’t mean that I didn’t care about you, Ry. That I don’t still-” her words hitched on a sob, hating that this is how they were leaving things. How she was leaving things, not even allowing him as much of a choice as he was giving her. “Just don’t forget us little people when you’re a sports hero, mmkay?” Her attempt at brevity would fall flat, she knew as much, but the girl still attempted to give him a teary smile.
ryder:
At this point, his whole body felt heavy, broad shoulders strong enough to keep straight even if he ultimately felt like collapsing onto his bed. This was a part of growing up, he supposed, but given his childlike nature....he absolutely hated it. Hearing her voice, but missing her denial of her reasoning being that she couldn't trust him, was enough to solidify that it was a key factor here. "It's fine." He muttered, fists tightening around the strap of his bag as he pulled it open, because he was mad. Not at her, never at her, but at himself. Because he couldn't seem to not make these impulsive mistakes, even for the people he cared most about, there was always something with him. It was obvious to him from a young age, his father having no problem but to point out his flaws, and now they cost him one of the things that mattered most to him; Bree.As she stood and made her way towards him, Ryder kept his gaze entirely on the clothes he stuffed into his carry on, only to have his gaze pulled up to her face when her delicate hand had forced him to do so. His skin crawled, because he craved that touch, and now that he was going to lose it....it hurt more than it comforted. "I'm so fucking stupid, you're right, I was bound to make some dumb ass mistake sooner or later." The boy began only to feel his face soften at the sound of her words catching on a small sob, and he automatically pulled her closer in response. He didn't have much to say, because he didn't want to make her commit to him if it wasn't what she wanted, and instead he wrapped his arms around her. "I love you so fucking much Bree." Ryder spoke into her hair, closing his eyes as he shook his head, "I don't want to let you go."
bree:
“No, stop it right now.” The words were muffled as Bree suddenly found her head in his chest, relaxing into his arms without meaning to as hers slid around his waist. She meant to correct him, to tell him that the only mistake he made was giving her far more credit than she deserved. She was the one that was stupid, to think that she would end up with someone like Ryder. Even before they had inevitably headed down their respective roads that were now about to separate. “I love you, too,” she whispered, not caring that her own arms were locked as tightly around him as she could manage. She was content not to move for several long moments, even if they felt like seconds being that close to him. “But you have to.” Her forehead was pressed against the front of his shoulder, lips leaving a feather light kiss there as she drew herself back. If Bree didn’t leave now she would never do it, instead probably more willing to stuff herself into one of his duffel bags and fly to California like she didn’t have a care in the world. Sniffing a little she wiped under her eyes, sure she had left a few tears on his shirt. “Take care of yourself, okay?” Her eyes locked with his before she cleared her throat, abruptly heading towards the door so she could at least be in her car by the time she fell apart.
ryder:
It was the truth, Ryder knew he wasn't exactly the smartest kid in Castleport, and the decisions he'd made in his past only went to prove that. Bree was smart, way smarter than him, so maybe he was kidding himself that this would work out and end up the way he planned it. So he chose it ignore her when she muffled her words into his chest, and he closed his eyes as he kept her there. Because he didn't know if he'd get this again, to have her close, to be engulfed in that familiar scent of the the girl who truly held his heart. When he finally heard her say it back, he knitted his brows together as he felt that lump in his throat almost choke him because he really didn't want to cry. But he couldn't help it and he kept his eyes shut for the moment being as he stayed there, but even if it was several moments, it felt like seconds as she spoke he had to let her go. "I know, I just don't want to." He murmured, voice almost breaking as that light press of her lips connected to his light grey t-shirt, broad shoulder stinging almost in the wake of the connection. His grip around her small frame loosened as he looked down at her, fingers lingering as he had to rip himself away from her almost, but still taking the moment to press a kiss to her forehead and stay there for another moment, "You too, you deserve it." Ryder had to whisper as his gaze moved around her face and he dropped his arms by his sides, once again clenching his jaw as she walked out of the door. This couldn't be it, could it? Just ending with a small take care of yourself and then out the door? That's how their story ended?
bree:
Take care of yourself, what kind of a goodbye was that? Clearly she had been watching way too many CW dramas, the idiocy of it all hitting her as she walked out into the hallway. Bree had slid her feet back into her sandals, finishing the second strap before she snapped it tightly, immediately getting up off the couch to run back to Ryder’s room. “Wait-” she uttered breathlessly, throwing her arms around his neck and practically jumping on her tiptoes to kiss him deeply. Because this was obviously going to make things better, just tacked onto the ever growing list of bad decisions she was making currently. Tugging him down to her level she tried to pour every bit of emotion, everything that she didn’t know how to say into the simple action. Breathless after pulling away a few seconds later she turned and left the room, left him, this time for good.
ryder:
The pacing in his room had started as soon as she walked out, hands rubbing together as he tried to take deep enough breaths to settle the pain in his chest. It was funny, people joked about their heart breaking but it truly did hurt like a bitch. Should he busy himself with finishing packing, should he go after her, should he stay put and take a fucking nap? Honestly, he had no clue, and he was too deep in his own head when he heard his door open again and her speak. Eyes casting up just in time for her to reach him and reflexively scoop her up as she pushed up on her tip toes and drew him in with that kiss. It melted him, and for the moment it seemed like time had frozen and everything didn't hurt anymore. Arms easily holding her up, he knitted his brows together as he felt her tug down and his body followed until she was back on the ground. He didn't even have a chance to say anything before she bolted back out of the room. Shaking his head, he followed after her, hand catching her wrist as he spun her back around, "So you're going to just do that and leave me?" Ryder asked, voice soft as he looked over her face, brows still furrowed as he gauged her expression.
bree:
And this is why she should have left the first time and never looked back, because it was so easy to just stop thinking and let her emotions take over. Her instinctive reactions to Ryder, from the way that he pushed his hair back off of his forehead to the crinkle between his eyebrows when he was concerned, every little detail that meant the most to her. “I have to,” Bree told him, knowing in that moment that she was the definition of mixed messages. But if she didn’t make it perfectly clear where they stood, or the fact that there was no them anymore, she felt like it wouldn’t sink in. “I’m leaving. For good.” Tugging her arm back she intentionally made sure to break contact with him as soon as possible, not giving him the chance to stop her this time.
ryder:
His lips were still tingling, trying to savor that kiss that she blindsided him with because by the way she looked at him he knew she was regretting what she did. Ryder may have been slow to pick up on things, but he knew Bree like the back of his hand, and when she had her mind made up it was done. "You don't have to." His voice was almost hopeful as he raised a brow, but it quickly fell when she ripped her arm out of his light hold, the sting enough to make him shrink back a bit. For good. The words hurt even more, and he nodded his head as he backed away from her, "Then go, Bree. Just go." He muttered, shaking his head as he retreated back to his room with a slam of his door for good measure. If she wanted to give up on him, then so be it, he'd prove everyone here wrong. He was determined to. And he angrily wiped off the tears that made him look weak as he shoved more things into his bags, only pausing for a moment when he saw one of the girl's cheer leading scrunchies on his bedside table. Walking over, he picked it up, toying with it before carefully placing it in the zipper of his bag. It was all he had left of her at this point, and he wasn't going to lose it like he lost her, he'd make sure of that.
'' ¿en que deportes te anotaste? '' @seohhs @breele
ajustó su postura en el carrito de golf, echando un vistazo rápido al campo que se extendía ante ellos. un par de hojas secas flotaban por el aire, llevadas por una brisa ligera, pero su atención volvió rápidamente a la pregunta. " equitación, voleibol, tenis... " dijo con una sonrisa juguetona, mirando de reojo a su acompañante. " una pena no poder alardear de mis habilidades en polo también. deberían haber permitido cuatro al menos. — ¿y tú? ¿qué escogiste? " sus ojos se abren con curiosidad, esperando haber encontrado algún compañere de actividad.
There were questions you just didn’t ask. Personal experience and multiple, borderline ‘therapy for dummies’ textbooks on his shelf had taught him that. He’d spent a lot of time on that, trying to figure out how to effectively….Listen to everybody he was supposed to be supporting. Which wasn’t really hard for him, not really. If anything, he cared too much, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud. The hard part was getting people to open up, to want to talk. Asking ‘are you okay’, ‘how are you feeling’, that shit was counterproductive. But he never had to ask her those questions in the first place. And honestly, he felt wished they were all a little more like her.
Bree sat in ‘the chair’, the one he’d gotten to put in his room when it was apparent that he really wanted to try at all of this. “What if we took everybody to the beach? I can stop the rain in favor of some sunshine.” Reese’s attention was still on his computer as she made herself comfortable. Straightening up, he swiveled his chair in her direction and reached to run a hand through his hair as he sucked in a breath. “I feel like we could need use some ‘bonding’ right now, don’t you?” The smile that graced his lips was sarcastic in nature. That was an understatement, and also really playing down how worried he felt about the lot of them in their current predicament. @beer-me-strcngth
