* ♡ ， ┇❛ ¿Por qué lo habrán escogido a él? ╱ ft. @canavacci
"¿Acaso eso importa? Más bien me alegra no haber sido yo" admite sin ningún tipo de remordimiento ni titubeos. "Perdón si es que eran cercanos" finge arrepentimiento aunque cualquiera que la conociera se daría cuenta de que mentía.
Summary: James confronts Bruno when the other man doesn't visit him during his recovery and avoids his calls. James admits that he's starting to develop feelings for both Bruno and Emi and feels lost. It's Bruno who suggests that when James is ready for a relationship, he would be okay dating James while James also dates Emi. James says he will ask Emi what she thinks, and he'll go from there.
ft. @ghostsbrokenbyfairytales
It had taken a while for James to feel well enough to leave the house for an extended period of time, and during that recovery he hardly saw or heard from Bruno. It certainly hurt and he was at a loss for why. He'd tried calling the man, but would either get no answer or very brief, stilted conversations. Finally enough was enough. Putting out his upteenth cigarette while waiting in front of the retirement home, he perked up as he saw Bruno exit the building. "Why're you avoidin' me?" No point in beating around the bush.
bruno hadn’t meant to purposely avoid james, well, not to the extent he actually had been. he wasn’t sure where they stood and he wanted to give him space during his recovery while figuring out his own feelings. when he was finally heading out for the day the last person he expected to see was james. “oh i- uh hi.” he stuttered out first before sighing. “it wasn’t on purpose i just.. didn’t want to be a distraction while you were recovering.”
He put his hands in his pockets, scowling. "Most people like to visit their friends while they're recoverin'. What? Are ya ashamed of me or somethin'?" Not that James would blame him.
“what?” bruno looked shocked for a moment at his words before frowning. “no im not, why would i be?” it wasn’t a question asked to really get an answer more just a general statement. “truth is i wasn’t sure if you’d want me around or not.. and i wasn’t sure where we stood friendship wise so i.. panicked i guess.”
James sighed and glanced down at himself. He could think of a dozen reasons why Bruno would be ashamed of him. He glanced back up at the other man, shoulders dropping as he felt the hurt dissipate some. "Of course I wanted ya around. Why do ya think I kept callin' ya dumbass?"
bruno could only shrug. “i don’t know.. was being nice or something?” he sighed and looked at his watch to see what time it was then shoved his hands in his pockets, looking over at james. “you wanna.. come over then? and we can talk about.. everything?”
He raised a brow at the other. "Do I strike ya as the kinda guy that makes phone calls just to be nice?" After a moment he nodded. Might as well go somewhere more private to really talk. "Lead the way."
“well..” bruno chuckled a little, “yeah kinda.” at least from what he knew about james it seemed like he would’ve. guess he was finding out that he was wrong. nodding he started walking towards his place keeping a steady pace next to james. “i didn’t want to not come around by the way… i did want to. i met a friend of yours at the ball and that’s kind of what made me keep some distance.” he finally admitted.
"Yeah, well, now ya know I ain't," he grumbled. At Bruno's admission James came to a stop, brows furrowed as he regarded him. "What friend?" Did someone say something?
bruno quickly stopped with him, thinking back as he tried to remember her name. “emi i believe was her name.” he’d go into more depth if he was asked but truthfully he felt a little silly about the entire situation.
That only furthered James' mixed feelings of confusion and concern. "What…what did she say?" Was this before or after he admitted he was starting to have feelings for Bruno?
“well we talked about you.” that part was probably obvious but then he continued, “nothing bad it was about how we uh.. i guess both have feelings for you and,” bruno stopped himself because he was embarrassed about his thought process during that entire conversation, “you two have known each other longer i didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes so i took a step back instead.”
The hurt came back as he started walking again. James needed the movement as a distraction. "An' you didn' stop to consider how I felt?"
bruno sighed as he continued walking with him but kept what he felt like a respectable distance between the two. “i did but i also didn’t want to assume james. you were and are still going through a lot, figuring out if you like my old ass or not shouldnt be a priority right now and i didn’t want to make it seem like it was.”
"Ain't you avoidin' me already assumin' shit?" he pointed out with a frown. "Also, I'm older than you dipshit. An' yeah, I might not be in a good place for a relationship right now, but I sure as hell would have liked to see you while I was at the clinic on fuckin' seizure watch. Yer my friend, or I assumed we were friends. An'….I've accepted I'm startin' to like you like that. So yeah, you not assumin' shit meant you still assumed shit."
"well when you put it that way." bruno mumbled since he hadn't actually thought of it like that before. he did let out a chuckle though at being called a dipshit, it felt deserved. "we-" he stopped himself to let james finish and had to try to not let himself actually stop walking when james admitted that, looking over at him with a half smile. "we are friends and.. i'm sorry. for both assuming and not showing up.. will you least let me make it up to you? can be my turn to do an apology dinner." he teased, gently nudging the other with his elbow.
After a bit of consideration he nodded, allowing a small smile to replace the scowl. "Yeah, alright. Least ya can do," he teased back. "But I uh, had somethin' else I wanted to talk to ya about. Emi, the woman ya met. I....kinda got feelings for her too. I'm...tryin' to work everythin' out still. Dunno if anyone told ya but hit my head pretty hard the day I went to the clinic so, that ain't helpin' much."
bruno's smile grew for a second before his face fell back to neutral. "i know you said you're starting to accept you've got feelings for me but i'd understand if you want to focus on her. seems like you two have known each other for a while now." he frowned a bit when james mentioned hitting his head. "i know we joked about me playing nurse but i do remember asking for no real injuries." he teased again trying to lighten the mood.
He raised a brow at the other man. "An' what if I wanna focus on you? Or fuck, I dunno." James had dated two people before, though it was an already established couple that left him feeling like bit of a third wheel. No surprise that relationship hadn't lasted long. Though he preferred direct communication, he found this particular topic was hard to broach. "Yeah, I'll keep that in mind next time," he quipped, although he held a small smile.
“why?” well that slipped out before he could stop himself. “sorry i meant.. no i guess i really did mean why.” he sighed once again until he looked up, realizing they were already almost to his place. “sorry i’m doing that assuming shit again, been a while since anyone’s wanted me at all.”
James kept his gaze forward as they walked. He hated talking about things like this. "Cuz yer kind hearted? Make me laugh? Why the fuck do you like me?"
"could say the same thing about you." bruno chuckled but shrugged, walking a little closer to james now. "honestly? the fact that you didn't just up and tell me to fuck off after you broke my nose won you some bonus points, showed me you give a shit about people who aren't just yourself."
He glanced over to Bruno, the small smile returning. "An' you didn' flip yer shit at the guy that accidently broke yer nose, though you woulda been in yer right to." After a moment James sighed. "So stop bein' so fuckin' stubborn. I like ya dude. The issue is I also like Emi, an' I'm still in recovery, so I don' know what the fuck I'm doin'. It's hard enough dealin' with everythin' right now without tryin' to sort out my mess of a love life."
he chuckled again. "alright i deserve that, i'll try not to be so stubborn from now on." he smiled back at james. "look, i've never dated anyone who's dating someone else at the same time before and i'm not saying that we will date anytime soon because i want you to focus on you and not a possible relationship but… i do want you to know i'm willing to wait."
Once more James stopped in his tracks to stare at Bruno, trying to process what the other said. "Wait. You'd….be willin' to date me if I also dated Emi?" Well shit. Maybe he didn't need to broach the subject after all. And it honestly warmed his heart, to know Bruno was willing to wait for him to sort his life out.
bruno stopped as well, thinking about what he said and how he meant it. "well.. yeah actually. like i said it'd be something new for me but it wouldn't kill me to try right?"
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he slowly nodded his head. "It'd….be like ya said. I gotta sort my shit out first but. O-okay. Yeah. I'd…I'd like that. Obviously I'd need to talk to her too, see if that'd be something she's okay with."
he'd almost forgotten about that part completely and realized how just cause he might be okay with it didn't mean emi might. "shit right, well," he scratched the back of his neck, "if she's not then just.. follow what feels right. rather you not be stressed about hurting whoevers feelings, we're all adults here we can accept whatever the outcome may be."
With a long exhale he nodded again, expression softening as he closed the gap between them to take Bruno's hand in his free one. "Thanks. For bein' so...open 'bout all this. I ain't great at relationships an' may royally fuck all this up but. I wanna at least give it a try. When I'm ready."
bruno looked down at their hands for a moment before looking back up with a smile, giving his hand a soft squeeze. “james i’m divorced, im not exactly mr perfect with relationships either but i figured if you’re willing to communicate with me about your feelings then the least i can do is be open. plus one of my kids has two partners, feel like if they can do it then i can do it too.” he chuckled softly and nodded. “when you’re ready.”
I threw a wish in the well
Don't ask me, I'll never tell
I looked to you as it fell
And now you're in my way
I trade my soul for a wish
Pennies and dimes for a kiss
I wasn't looking for this
But now you're in my way
Avalanche - Bring Me the Horizon
I need a cure for me 'cause the square doesn't fit the circle
Give me a remedy 'cause my head wasn't wired for this world
First Date - blink-182
In the car, I just can't wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat
Paralyzer - Finger Eleven
I hold on so nervously to me and my drink
I wish it was coolin' me
But so far has not been good
It's been shitty, and I feel awkward as I should
This club has got to be the most pretentious thing
Since I thought you and me
