#ft. funkiing

[ask-tankman-fnf]

❛ HOLY SHIT THAT'S MY LEMON BABY ❜

[ @funkiing he's back. (threatening) /j ]

"?!??!"

It isn't even anatomically possible, and here you are, giving him a heart attack.

[ask-tankman-fnf]

“hey dad-in-law, pico's boyfriend again. lmao. do you have some pico baby pictures? he would look so cute. so..... soft.”

"What the..? No? And even if I had any on me, I wouldn't show them to you...? Weirdo. Who the hell does even ask to look at pictures of babies? Willingly???"

The Tankman tiredly shakes his head, then suddenly snaps right back around-

"... And don't freakin' call me that! It is Sir to you and Sir only, ya little shit."

[ask-tankman-fnf]

“hey man.. your son is kinda hot 👁️👁️” please spare him, he's stupid.

@funkiing

"I- have you EVER been around a guy's father before?? Why in hell are you even telling me this, you weird little shit???"

How DARE you assume John is smart?

[ask-tankman-fnf]

❛ dad-in-law, please tell your son to take care of his eyesight???? pico is a little bitch and won't put on his glasses even though he needs to :(( he won't even put 'em on if i say i'll retract his kissy rights! bad boyfriend, 1/10 ❜

[ @funkiing ]

And then there's Captain, sitting down, staring directly at the sun, like- "what?"

[ask-tankman-fnf]

❛ shawty please i need some intense therapy rn pls help me shawty 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍 ❜

[ @funkiing ]

"Why the hell do you have my number."

[ask-tankman-fnf]

❛ hi pico's dad, could you also please be my dad now aswell :( ❜

@funkiing

"You... Do actually realize what would that mean for “whatever the hell is it” that you and Pico got going on, right..?"

[ask-tankman-fnf]

“hi pico's dad, pico's boyfriend here. military dogs can't be fluffy, right? say they can't be fluffy.”

@funkiing hshssh i am so sorry /hj

Gotta love how John doesn't seem to give enough of a damn to ask for the guy's name- Or bring up his own, either.

"Ya ever seen a Tibetan Mastiff pal?"

And it is bold of you to expect that Captain isn't going to take Pico's side.