Zap Zap
@dukexietyweek 2025 Day 7 - Aliens/Sci-fi + Swap
Word Count: 2633 (Ao3)
Rating: T+
Characters: Remus, Virgil
Warnings/Content: Body swap, ftm!Remus, sex mention, injury
Remus is a mad scientist, and he accidentally switches bodies with his roommate, Virgil. They switch back after learning some interesting things about each other.
---
Waking up with a pounding headache was absolutely normal for Virgil. He had the worst job imaginable and his landlord/roommate was a chaotic disaster. If he wasn't dealing with awful customers, he was putting up with the crazy experiments and the messes they made. Moving out was an option, but he was unfairly fond of his roomie and he didn't have to pay rent for his little room.
Of course, he seriously considered leaving when he opened his eyes. He was staring at the green glowing letters on the clock on the nightstand. He didn't have a nightstand, and his clock was supposed to be across the room. It was 3 in the morning, so maybe he was dreaming or confused.
“Where the fuck—?” he said aloud, only to freeze at the sound of his voice. It was too high pitched.
He sat up abruptly and patted himself down with arms that felt too short. He was nude, had a huge rack, and his bulge was missing.
He let out a shrill scream.
Thud
Virgil went rigid as the thumping continued, growing louder and louder. Someone was coming! He had no idea how to fight in this body, he had no idea where he was, and he had no idea who was coming.
The door swung open, casting a beam of light into the room. Virgil winced at the brightness and the tall, bulky figure looming in the doorway.
“Oh damn, I really am adorable!” the figure giggled. Virgil scowled. That was his voice, but not his usual intonation—and he was not a giggly bitch. There was only one person he knew who would say something like that, even if something didn't add up.
“Remus, what the fuck?” Virgil gawked, “Why am I you? Why do you have tits?”
“Virgil?” Remus asked and turned on the light, “Are you Virgil?”
“Who else would I be?!”
“Blimpo or Scrungy! But they probably can't talk, which means, I'm in your body!” Remus shrugged. And then a dastardly grin crossed his (Virgil’s) face.
“Don't you fucking dare!” Virgil snapped as soon as he saw Remus going for his pants.
“Why delay the inevitable? I'm not backing up your kidneys if this body needs to piss! Besides, you can see me in all of my naked glory too! Just look down!
Virgil had no idea how to fight the blush rising to his (Remus') cheeks. He might have been curious before, but with some new insight, he was mortified at the proposition.
“What happened?” he squeaked, trying to sound threatening as he scrambled to cover up with the sheets. This voice was not helping him.
Remus bobbed from side to side and jogged in place, clearly unused to having long limbs.
“Well, you came home from work and showered, and then you ran upstairs to my lab when I screamed because Blimpo went chomp on my fingie—does it still hurt? I disinfected it but rodent teeth are a bitch!—You ran in when I was testing my new invention, accidentally got zapped with me, and then you went to your room and probably passed out in bed.”
“What kind of invention?” Virgil asked and ran a hand through his (Remus') hair. It was surprisingly soft.
“A body swap ray gun!” Remus beamed, setting off every alarm possible in Virgil's mind. Not only did that invention work, but he was stuck in Remus' body, he had a whole different set of parts that could torture him at some point, and Remus' expressions on his face were extra creepy.
“Swap us back!” Virgil yelped and lurched forward, clinging to the sheet hiding his (Remus') body.
“Can I at least pee first? I've never pissed with a dick!” Remus asked and fluttered his lashes. Virgil would never get used to seeing his own face making those expressions.
“What do you mean you never—? Are you telling me that this isn't some side effect of your invention?”
“Nope! Surprise! I'm trans!” Remus giggled, “And you can have as much fun as you want exploring!”
“We're switching back. Now.”
Virgil threw the sheet aside and got to his feet. As long as he didn't look down at his (Remus') body, he could handle throwing on a shirt and pants. Remus already knew what he looked like, so it wasn't worth worrying over if he saw.
Remus was oddly silent as Virgil stalked to the dresser and bent over at the waist to grab some clothes. Contrary to what some might suggest, Remus could not simply look in a mirror and get turned on by his own appearance. Yet here he was, staring at his own sweet booty, feeling a strange ache below the belt.
Virgil managed to get a pair of basketball shorts on before Remus realized what was happening. He wasn't aroused, but Virgil’s body was! Or maybe he was just getting used to the different hormone levels in this body. There was a way to test it!
“Hey, Virge,” Remus said before he could throw a shirt on, “Before you do that, can you squeeze my boobs?”
“What?”
“I need to check to make sure they still have feeling since I bind all the time!” Remus lied flawlessly. Virgil sighed and set the t-shirt on the dresser. This was just a health check.
He carefully cupped his (Remus') tits, all too aware of how sensitive they were, and gently squeezed the flesh in his hands. He was surprised to let out a weak moan from that, and that his urge to pee got worse. He instantly dropped his hands and thought about deserts.
That was all Remus needed to confirm his suspicion. The sight and sound combined made his (Virgil's) cock jump. This would be useful information later.
Virgil quickly finished dressing and dragged Remus out of the room. He wanted his body back before Remus got the chance to mess with it and before he had to use the toilet. All they had to do was get to the ray gun in Remus' lab.
“Uh, Virge,” Remus said as he stumbled up the stairs behind him, “You can't just break in!”
“Why not?” Virgil asked as he reached the steel door blocking access to the lab.
“The alarm system is active and if you don't have the passcodes, you'll get electrocuted,” Remus explained and wiggled to set his lower half right. How did Virgil manage to move with a python between his legs!?
“And let me guess, one of those is specifically related to your body, like a fingerprint scanner.”
“It's a voice scanner!” Remus giggled and reached past him to pull a sliding door aside, revealing a microphone and speaker.
“What do I have to say?”
“Six slick licks to six stiff pricks swiftly makes the six dicks bricks.”
Virgil paused and clicked his tongue. He should have expected something ridiculous from Remus.
“That's it?”
“That's the first one!” Remus chirped, “The second one is an unfiltered moan, and the third one is, ‘Scare Bear’ if you make it that far. Of course you have to hold down the button when you're saying these things for it to register.”
“What do you mean ‘if I make it that far?’” Virgil bristled.
“Can you moan on command?” Remus asked, “If you can't, do I have permission to help you?”
Virgil hated how red his (Remus') face was. Remus was right, he had a mental block about making unnecessary sounds, but he refused to let Remus help. That would involve touching and Virgil was not okay with that.
“Let's just get this over with,” Virgil huffed and leaned towards the microphone. He took a deep breath and pressed the button.
“Six slick licks to six stiff pricks swiftly makes the six dicks bricks.”
He let go of the button and heard a ding. The first key went through.
“Do you want help? I can help without touching if you're worried about that!” Remus said.
Virgil pushed the button and shot him a death glare. Any bitter retort died in his (Remus') throat as he watched Remus peel his (Virgil's) shirt off.
A needy moan escaped him before he could process what was happening. That was his torso, nothing special to him, just a bulky figure with body hair. He wasn't some body builder or particularly chubby, nothing special, but Remus' body instantly reacted vocally, and he remembered that he had to empty his (Remus') bladder soon.
“Told you I wouldn't have to touch!” Remus jeered and pulled his shirt on again.
“I didn't say that you could do that either,” Virgil huffed, “and so we're clear, I wasn't making that noise.”
“Of course not! That was muscle memory! You could argue it was me!” Remus agreed.
Virgil scowled at him before pressing the button and leaning towards the mic.
“Scare Bear,” he droned flatly. A harsh buzz followed and the door remained locked.
“You have to swoon when you say it,” Remus said before Virgil could get angry.
“Why?”
“Because I always swoon when I say it!” he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. If Virgil were a jealous bitch with no restraint he would have demanded to know who this “Scare Bear” was and how to end them.
He could be upset after he had his own body back. In order to do that, he had to swallow his pride and act like Remus for another minute.
“Scare Bear,” he sighed dreamily into the microphone.
The door beeped and a metallic clank rang out on the other side. Virgil stepped back as the door slid back with a hiss of steam and slid to the side.
Virgil entered first, with Remus stumbling behind him. The poor guy was just not getting used to his height. It was a good thing there was nothing low-hanging to hit his head on.
The lab itself was fairly clean and organized. On one wall there were shelves upon shelves of finished and failed inventions, glistening chromatically under the LED lights. On the opposite wall, there was a workbench and a computer table, complete with a desktop and various tools. And along the back wall there was a curtain hiding a huge rat cage and their supplies.
Remus pushed past Virgil, though unintentionally, and hurried to check on his rats. He flung the curtain open, revealing the large cage full of tubes, ropes, ladders, and hammocks. There was a rat wheel as well and a gray rat was busy running on it.
“I think it worked!” Remus beamed and searched the cage for his other rat, “Scrungy hates the wheel, but look at her go! That has to be Blimpo!”
Virgil let him have fun with his rats and approached the workbench. The ray gun was propped up on a stand and fully charged. The eerie trident-shaped gun was reminiscent of the antimatter laser from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but the base was thicker. Virgil hesitated to touch it.
“Yeouch!” Remus yelped, getting Virgil’s attention.
He was leaning down with his (Virgil’s) hand in the cage, with two rodents clinging to his fingers with their teeth.
“They know it's you,” Virgil said flatly, “They don't bite me.”
“A little help?” Remus giggled sheepishly. Virgil’s body was strong, stronger than Remus was used to. He didn't want to hurt his little buddies by accident!
Virgil sighed and went over to help. He carefully slid his hand in the cage and waited for one of the rats to get curious.
The white and black rat released her jaw and curiously sniffed Virgil's (Remus') hand. She squeaked softly and scurried off.
“Aw, I wanted to switch them back!” Remus whined while Virgil gently stroked the gray rat's back. She released her jaw and went flat against the ground.
“Do that after we're switched back,” Virgil said and dragged both of their hands out of the cage, “And clean that up. I'm not getting sick because you just had to be obnoxious.”
Remus beamed at him and got up. He went to the workbench and grabbed his antibiotic ointment. Virgil closed the cage and curtains and followed him.
“Whenever you're ready I can turn on the machine and switch us back,” Remus said as he applied a couple bandaids, “Of course, you can always let me pee first, because I really want the experience!”
“Keep wanting,” Virgil huffed and glanced at Remus' (Virgil’s) pants, “You won't be able to pee anyway. How the hell did you manage to get that hard without doing anything?”
“I dunno. It's probably because I'm not used to having so much T naturally coursing through me, and because muscle memory is making your body react to my body's pure animalistic appeal!”
Virgil scowled and shook his head. It was probably the former. Sure, he had moments when Remus turned him on, but it never got to the point where he wasn't able to use the bathroom. And he was sure Remus didn't feel the same way about him—his body was more than ready to piss.
“I’m surprised you're not soaked through those shorts,” Remus commented and turned on the ray gun, “I can't help but smile all the time, and your smile does evil things to me!”
“What—?” Virgil asked before the ray gun sent out a blast of plasma that hit both of them in the chest.
Remus immediately fell to his knees, and then the floor. Virgil stared at him, close to panicking, before he collapsed on top of Remus.
A few moments later, Virgil came to with a grunt, there was a weight on his chest that shouldn't have been there. He glanced down to find Remus on top of him, unconscious, but in his own body.
“Shit,” Virgil sighed. He couldn't exactly push Remus to the floor like this, not to mention he liked having Remus curled up to him.
“Mm—Scare Bear,” Remus muttered. Virgil gently stroked his hair to wake him up.
Remus blinked up at him and grinned.
“It worked,” he said, “You're you again, Scare Bear, and I'm me again!”
“‘Scare Bear?’” Virgil pouted.
“Yeah, you!” Remus giggled, refusing to get up, “And now that I know you have a raging boner for me, I can say that without dying a sexy sexy death!”
“You don't get to call me that if I'm the only one who has feelings,” Virgil huffed.
“Why would you think I don't? You were there when I took your shirt off and my body moaned, and you can't tell me you didn't notice that I have the Marianas trench in my pants! You're hot, you can handle the mad scientist goofball roomie, and you care about me—of course I have feelings for you!” Remus pouted.
“Prove it.”
Remus couldn't resist a challenge, and there was a challenge in that beautiful voice.
He crawled up Virgil's chest and grabbed his face. Before Virgil knew what was happening, Remus was covering his face in smooches.
“Remus—?”
A direct kiss on the lips silenced any questions Virgil had. He immediately pulled Remus closer and licked at his lips.
“Mmm—Not in the lab, Scare Bear!” Remus giggled when he pulled away, “I'm one tongue tango away from ripping your clothes off!”
Virgil scooped him up and stood, holding the imp in his arms. He smirked and carried Remus out of the lab, letting him implode for a bit before speaking.
“I’d rather not do anything like that,” he said, “Not unless you're my boyfriend and we go on at least one date.”
“I'll be your boyfriend!” Remus giggled and wrapped his arms around Virgil's shoulders, “Expect me to get extra cuddly and swoon harder!”
Virgil wouldn't want anything less than that.