But I’m Not Strong (Justin Foley x Reader)
Hullo, I’m a just a newbie writing imagines specifically for 13 Reasons Why. Hope you enjoy my first one!
Warnings: Mentions of rape
I look at my phone after receiving a text message from none other than Justin Foley, Jessica's now ex-boyfriend. I'm surprised he has the guts to talk to anyone after what happened.
"Can I crash at your place? I have nowhere to stay tonight."
"Again? What's been going on with you?"
"Got kicked out for stupid shit...Usual."
"Jess wouldn't be happy you staying with one of her close friends after all of that."
"I know, I know, dammit. Please just let me stay for tonight. I won't tell anybody about this."
After what happened with him, Jessica, and Bryce, I don't think I would have forgiven him like she didn't. But at the same time, I don't just want to leave him out on the street like a homeless person.
"I'm coming up the window." Was the last text I got from him before walking to my bedroom window and allowing the poor boy in. "Thank you." He tells me. "You are a damn saint. Nobody was answering my texts or my calls all night. I've been pretty much just roaming around this piece of shit town for God knows how long." Justin whispers, aware that it is late at night and my folks were asleep.
We sit on the floor in front of my bed as he continues going on about how horrible his night was.
"Justin--" I was interrupted by him. "And Jess...I've been thinking about her non-stop. This whole time I've been thinking about shooting myself in the head or jumping off a cliff. But I couldn't because of her. I love her so much, but she hates my fucking guts." He sits next to my bed, sobbing.
I tried calling his name again, but it was no use. "You know I only lied to her just to protect her, right? Not Bryce. I didn't want her living with the knowledge and the pain of her being raped. Fuck, I'm so sorry, (Name)." I gave in to his embrace that he pulled me into after he was done speaking.
"You shouldn't be apologising to me, Justin. You should have done that to Jessica." I tell him after pulling away. "You think I haven't done that already? Like a million times I tried to apologize to her...but she shut me down. I'm basically dead to her." Justin sniffles.
"Give it time. But I want to know this, why can't you tell me the real reason why you're here?" I ask him. "What are you talking about?" He gives me a puzzled expression. "I know you have problems with your mom and her boyfriend." I say.
"Hey, who told you that?!" He raised his voice slightly which I had to shush him for. "Don't you remember? You did." Justin's expression softened into a confused one. "What? When did I do that?" He asks. "You were drunk as hell that night. And I must say, you are a really emotional drunk." I reply, chuckling. "Why would I tell you that? ...I didn't even talk to Jess about it before."
"That's what I was thinking. Why me?" I ask him. He suddenly tears up. "You are the only person who listens now. Jessica started drinking and doing drugs recently and she wouldn't listen to what I wanted to get off my chest and I've always been there for her. Now she's gone, out of my life. She's probably still into Bryce even after what he did to her." Justin sobs and embraces me on the side.
"That's not true. She's most likely terrified of him and also you for not helping her." I say. He doesn't reply until he realised about what I just said. "What the fuck was I supposed to do about it?! I tried my best, he shoved me out, locked that damn door and did that shit! If only I was stronger..." Justin whispers slightly loud.
"No I'm not! This all wouldn't have happened if I was actually stronger than that piece of shit. Everybody...Everybody that I care about is gone!" He continues sobbing.
"I'm still here. Don't you care about me?" I ask him, feeling a bit offended. "God, of course I do. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you." Justin says. "Then...why would you say that?" I look down to my floor.
"Because, I'm an idiot. You should know by now." He gives a half smile. I give him a small smile before he opens his mouth again. "...Why did you even let me in?"
"Oh, uh...I was just thinking out loud." He attempts to shrug it off and I sigh. He couldn't be this oblivious about this, right?
"I let you in because I care about you." A few moments after this was said, he breaks down into tears again, as if this was the first time he heard those words.
"You're all I have now, (Name)." Was all he managed to say before letting out more dry sobs while putting his head on my shoulder.
I had no choice but to hug him.
