So today I was waiting at the bus stop after work smoking a cigarette, and this older woman walks up to me and says,
"You're a real, brave American." (Keep in mind my headphones were in, the universal sign of please leave me the fuck alone.)
I had no idea what she was talking about so I just smiled and thanked her confusedly. Then, as I was about to put my headphones back in, she looks me right in the fucking eye and asks me to bLOW MY CIGARETTE SMOKE IN HER FACE?!?? Like she asked me repeatedly to do it and I just told her no, I wouldn't do it because of how inhumanly rude that would be.
Luckily, the bus finally showed up and I quickly climbed on, hoping she would be taking the next one.
Unfortunately, she was not. Also unfortunately, she chose the seat right next to me.
I left my headphones in so I could effectively ignore most of what she was trying to say to me, but at the end of every statement she would make, she would say,
"Yeah, you know what you're doing..." and she'd WINK and LICK HER LIPS.
It was really fucking creepy. And it made me horribly uncomfortable.
After about ten minutes on the bus, I told her to please leave me alone so I could read my book. She asked me why, and I told her because she was making me uncomfortable and that I leave my headphones in for reason.
She did not give a single shit.
She said she wanted to "get to know me," but I told her that just because she wanted something doesn't mean that I have to play along and provide what she wanted.
She continued on, but I put my headphones back in and turned the volume all the way up until my stop came.
In hindsight, there are a million things I could have done differently I guess, but I refuse to feel badly about getting harassed and standing up for myself in a respectful way.
This is a message I want everyone to hear, because it seriously can happen to anyone regardless of gender, orientation, race, etc.:
If someone is making you uncomfortable, you do NOT owe them a conversation, an explanation, or even a second of your precious time. There is no shame in asking someone to leave you alone, and if they don't, seek assistance from an authoritative figure. If things had progressed to a point that I felt I was in danger, I would not have hesitated to get the bus driver involved and maybe even the local police. You do not owe anyone anything, especially if someone is making unwelcome advances towards you.
Your body, your mind, your voice, your choice.
