From what I've heard, sex isn't really all it's cracked up to be. Virginity is only a concept, but inexperience exists. Tbh, I think you don't /need/ to know shit about sex unless you want to figure out what you want and don't want from it when it does happen. In that case, being with another person doesn't make much difference. You can just research and try things if you're curious or wait to learn from the person you may/may not end up having it with, but it's not a life threatening ordeal. :)
"virginity" is a nasty label with multiple nasty meanings and i hate it but i think people find it easier to use which is why people still pop the question
i'd rather people ask "have you had sex before" because then there's less pressure because there's no label
you bring a lot more to this discussion though, like sex is just sex and it isn't all that jazz (i mean it can be but) and pop culture has both demonized, advertised and popularized it to the point where many many people think it is the be all end all
the "you haven't had sex, therefore you are probably ugly/undesirable, haha" part also really bugs me, like people use it as an insult and even i have taken some offense to that. someone actually told me once "oh, you're only complaining about the word virginity because you're not getting any"
and just yea, it shouldn't be a big deal, i just wanna have fun gosh danggit