Jurassic Park (1993)
Pachycephalosaurus. This is the first and last dinosaur name I can recall, from a childhood spent obsessing over our extinct roommates on apartment Earth. This was a dinosaur whose main form of defense was headbutting things: animals, cavemen, even other dinosaurs. Imagine my pre-pubescent delight when I learned that there was going to be a movie in which dinosaurs roam our planet again AND earn their keep- I was fucking STOKED.
Because if the last eviction notice didn’t work, I don’t know what will.
In anticipation, I found the book and read it for my “Book It” program. For younger blog readers, or people unfamiliar with good things happening in the public school system, Book It was a system in which children would read a book, give a short report to their teacher, and, in exchange, the student would be given a gold star sticker. Collect enough stickers, and you receive a FUCKING PERSONAL PAN PIZZA. For those of us who weren’t from affluent backgrounds, this is the poor kid equivalent of kobe beef, or sprinkling gold flakes onto the most expensive meal you’ve ever had. It was a pretty big deal.
Well, maybe “big” isn’t the most appropriate word, but it was still my holy grail.
I flubbed my way through a lot of these reviews for free pizza, but this book, in the third grade, was the first one I ever read through. It was incredibly inefficient, in my quest to obtain baby pizzas, but I loved that shit. That book was great on a lot of levels, some of which I wasn’t aware of then, but it set some pretty high expectations.
Here we are, 22 years later, and I’m anticipating seeing the new Jurassic World film, and I thought, “maybe it’s time to review the first one- you know, see how well it aged.” How well, indeed.
Pros:
- Animatronics and tangible special effects. I know that the new movie will have a lot of CGI, and I know that has become the industry standard. I don’t so much care, but I tell you this: not seeing highlighted portions of the screen during the film because the special effect isn’t created by a computer is a liberating, engrossing feeling. This movie has a little; back in ‘93, if I recall, computer generated graphics were starting to take off, so there are (bad) sequences in which a dinosaur is introduced, and children are supposed to be awestruck, while the more seasoned among us just wait patiently for the real SFX. I mean, seriously, the difference is night and day.
Seriously.
Alright, so, admittedly, those might not be from the same movie. They might not even be a historically accurate dinosaur, as I understand it. Either way, the tangible dinosaur models lend ultimate credibility to this film. Why? Because they can actually eat you, which, it turns out, is pretty effective at creating suspense. So that’s pretty cool.
- The science fiction behind this is important for a couple of reasons. I remember, both in the book and briefly in the film, that the science seemed so plausible. Mosquitoes in amber? Yeah, duh! It only makes sense that after god knows how many years of existence, we finally found a use for mosquitoes. On one hand, cloning dinosaurs is impossible (because, obviously, if we could, we would be hanging out with them now). It turns out that DNA has a half-life of a little over 500 years, making it difficult to sequence and blah blah blah. On the other hand, this film a) bolstered interest in dinosaurs, b) changed people’s perceptions about said dinosaurs, and c) helped further DNA research. That last one, I know, is a stretch, but I’m convinced that this stuff drives interest. I mean, look at H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds; it was released as a radio special in October of 1938, interestingly executed in a style reminiscent of the actual news at the time. In fact, it cause massive panic because PEOPLE THOUGHT THAT SHIT WAS GOING DOWN. Here, check it out.
I would love to talk more about this broadcast, because I think the topic is infinitely interesting as a didactic tool for a society that was so unquestioning that they believed this alien invasion was happening, but here’s the point I was driving towards: a mere 20 years later, America shot people into space. This was due, in no small part, to Dr. Robert H. Goddard, who admitted that War of the Worlds “spurred his interest in planetary discovery... and filled [him] with a sense of purpose.” Science fiction has the power to inspire science FACT. And the science in Jurassic Park must have done something right, because we are getting another sequel 20 years later.
Ah, but nothing good is without its flaws...
Cons:
- For a movie about the danger of trying to play god, the destructive force of their creation is surprisingly small. By the end of the movie, you might think to yourself, “Woo! That was close. Glad they made it off the island!” and maybe “Everything is awesome now! Back to normal; business as usual!” Now, I know there are sequels, and maybe some day I’ll review those, but the question I found myself asking at the end was this: if the raptors are capable of learning (as demonstrated by the fact that they figured out how to open doors, which is a pretty big leap for an animal that works on pure instinct), could they not learn how to swim? I mean, really, all that separates them from the world at large is water. And that’s just the velociraptors. Imagine what some of the bigger dinosaurs are capable of? I mean, their lungs are like giant buoys. I mean, I get it- the island is ruined, and tons of money was wasted (though, arguably, you could say it was well spent, since, you know, the rich dude survived), but what did the dinosaurs do besides kill a handful of people? This is due, for the most part, to its PG-13 rating. The fucking MPAA: ruining shit for the entirety of their existence.
Nothing subliminal here.
- I’m really, really pissed that Samuel L. Jackson got so little screen time. Look, I don’t want to be that guy- Sam Jackson is pretty much universally beloved, and by the time he was cast in this movie, he was not quite the household name he is today. That said, he is a perfect addition to almost everything he gets added to. Quick, name three movies he was in that he sucked in. Go on, I’ll wait... oh, you can’t? It’s because he shines in everything. Jurassic Park is no exception, but what the hell happened? One minute, he is a cranky, chain smoking park manager with a serious disdain for Newman, and the next he’s just... an arm? That’s an awfully long distance between A and B. So what happened? PG-13 happened. In the book, there’s a lot more work on Jackson’s part trying to get the park back up and running; more chain smoking, more cranky, more loud complaining- more stuff Jackson was created to do. I totally get that he was a prime candidate to be murdered by dinosaurs operating on instinct, but I’d have liked to see him put up a fight, or at least hear a one-liner before he went.
Since he, you know, seems to excel at them.
Anyway, this movie was pretty good; there was a pretty cool sense of wonder that comes with the discovery of dinosaurs, Laura Dern is smoking hot in this, and Jeff Goldblum dresses like he is going to be in an Aerosmith video. It’s a whole lot of 90′s, a whole lot of Sci-Fi, and a whole lot of fun. I give this bad boy a B+.