Sometimes I don't want to be kin. Im a therian, and oddly, I feel content with being a coyote all the time, but not a character. I'm kin with a character whose source is my special interest, and sometimes it just sorta taints it. I love being kin, I really do, but... I can't shake this feeling that every time I interact with the fandom, I'm doing something wrong. I feel uncomfortable when I realize people are fans of me, especially when im actively in a kinshift and trying to find art of me and a teammate, and I'm looking at the tags and finding peopel say "omg i LOVE Fugo hes my favorite character ever and I have so many ideas about him! *insert headcanons that arent anywhere near true and make me anxious/uncomfortable/etc*". Also, the character I remember being in a relationship with is commonly shipped with other characters, and it gets so frustrating. No, mutual, as much and as dearly as I love you, I don't want to see your art of [my partner]x[other source character], because that is MY BOYFRIEND. Plus, I remember being so, so damn close with another character (not my partner, but obviously I cherished him as well), and I can't find almost any fanart of them together that isn't a ship (which is nasty bc hes adult and I'm a minor :/), and I just want to look at pictures of myself with him, because sometimes it's the only way to ease me out of a painful shift where I miss him horribly and need to be by his side again.
Sorry this turned out rant-y,
-Pannacotta Fugo
