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don quixote and the classics // bucky barnes bookstore! au
pairing: bucky barnes x bookkeeper! reader
summary: bucky develops a sudden affinity for secondhand books from one specific store, and coincidentally, that store just so happens to employ a pretty, intriguing bookkeeper. from don quixote to the history of Hun empire archery techniques, bucky just wants to see you again.
warnings: swearing, mutual pining, the avengers are meddling assholes but i love it, couple references to my favorite books, and oblivious reader
w/c: 6.5k
prompt 6 by @juicywritinghoard
“librarian desperate to understand what wild phase the other character is going thru rn”
＊✿❀ ❀✿＊
when you dreamed of moving to new york, you had hoped your days would be spent glamourously lounging in high-end bars, frequenting gentrified hip indie cafés (because let’s be honest, you can’t escape them these days), and/or getting yourself a sugar daddy.
what you didn’t plan for was working six days a week at a shitty bookstore where you tripped over the loose floorboard behind the counter even after three months. granted, the “shittiness” of it all was quite charming, and the old man who owned the place was probably the sweetest person you’d ever met—which said a lot because you hated old people.
the business had been slaw. as aforementioned, the gentrified millennial-catered cat-café-bookshop-cabaret-bars blew whatever “run-down charm” your store could try to advertise itself as. you spent most of your time abandoning the counter, since it wasn’t like there were customers who needed to purchase things anyway. instead, you’d found yourself lost in shelves of haphazardly organized books (fuck the dewey decimal system), trying to squeeze in new finds (and by new, you meant the battered up copies that the owner’s friends had no more use for) but eventually settling for stacking them horizontally on top of the rows and rows of dusty books.
you’d never admit it, but this place had become your home. sure, it was probably decomposing. and you swore that you saw a squirrel in there once. but you and your single coworker were always treated with baked goods from the owner and paid a reasonable salary. the owner had done so much for you back when you were a naive, freshly moved-in new yorker. he’d fed you when your bills were becoming too much, he offered you a job and made sure you were paid enough, and once, he even let you crash on the cushy chairs in the back when the subway was down and a thunderstorm was raging.
today was like any average day, so essentially a day full of nothing. stevie nicks crooned through the old radio—the owner insisted on CDs—and you hummed along, occasionally singing some of the lyrics you knew. when the bell chimed and you heard the hinges of the door squeak, you yourself let out a squeak.
“uh, hello?” a raspy male voice called from the front of the store. he cleared his throat. “is there anyone- are you guys open? i didn’t see a closed sign or anything and the lights were on so…” he was speaking to nobody in particular, trailing off after he heard no response.
“okay, um, no worries! have a good day,” he called to no one, turning to leave.
“wait! wait, come back!” you huffed as you ran to the front of the store, clutching your stomach to catch your breath. “sorry, i thought i was hallucinating. we haven’t had a customer in a long time.” you winced. “that’s really bad advertising, isn’t it,” you muttered to yourself.
the man laughed. “no worries, i’m enjoying our introduction, actually.” he hesitantly held his flesh hand out for you to shake. “bucky. bucky barnes?” he waited for some sort of recognition to flash in your eyes, or maybe a recoil, or maybe for you to ask him to leave. instead, you took his hand in yours and gave him two firm shakes. he smiled at your confident grip.
“as much as i’m glad you’re enjoying this introduction at my expense—sorry about that, by the way; customer service is not my thing—how can i help you?”
“i’m looking for a book,” he said, eyes flickering around the crowded bookshelves as if he were a little intimidated.
“then you’re in the right place,” you snorted. “sorry, that was rude of me. sorry. do you know what you’re looking for? our organization system is a bit… unique, so i can show you to our different sections if you need.”
“that’d be great, actually,” he confessed, rubbing the back of his neck shyly. “do you have anything on… gardening? botanicals? specifically flowers? ones that are native to the east coast would be preferable.”
you smiled, picturing the burly man in front of you curled up on an armchair, scanning pages and pages about delicate, colorful petals and local flora. “we do, actually! come with me.”
the man—no, bucky—trailed behind you, mesmerized by the way you navigated seemingly random stacks of books with such familiarity. you stopped abruptly and he nearly walked into you—and thank god for that, because he probably would’ve run you over.
“here ‘ya go!” you chirped, running your hand over the spines of botanical books fondly. “if it’s not too invasive to ask, but why are you looking for books on flowers? no offense, but you don’t really seem like,” you waved your hands around, “a flower kind of guy.”
bucky chuckled, already immersed in his hunt for the perfect book. “you’re right, i’m not. my friend wanda’s been wanted to start a garden, but she’s always been a city girl. we have a place further out from the city with a good amount of land, so i’m hoping to get her started.”
“that’s so sweet!” you swooned, smiling widely. “you’re such a wonderful boyfriend. god, those are rare.”
“oh no- uh, we’re not dating,” bucky stammered, cheeks flushing slightly as he refused to meet your eyes. his hands froze midair, fingers dancing across the spine of a book. “we just live… together. there’s a lot of us there.”
“ah, so you guys are like fancy outskirts-of-new-york co-inhabitants, huh?” you gazed at the ceiling thoughtfully. “never met anyone like that.”
“well, normal is not a word i’d use to describe myself,” he said with a hint of bitterness. was that right? he was bitter?
you leaned against one of the shelves as you watched him search. when he found what he was looking for, he turned with the book clutched against his chest, giving you a triumphant grin.
“you found one! c’mon, i’ll get you all checked out.”
bucky couldn’t help but watch as your fingers danced across the old register whose numbers on the keys had begun to fade. you flipped the book to the back to check the price. “hey, you got a good deal! five dollars, please.”
he fished for his wallet and handed you a crumpled bill. you smiled and handed him his book. perhaps it was intentional or maybe it was simply an accident, but bucky shivered when your fingertips brushed against his own. “it was nice to meet you, bucky,” you waved cheerfully as he left, a bit reluctant to say goodbye. he held his hand up in parting, walking out the door backward to keep you in his sight for as long as possible, almost bumping into a passing pedestrian who shot him a glare. you giggled.
as he began the walk back to the subway, he flipped through his new book. he smiled to himself. right in the center of the pages was a delicate bookmark, stained with dancing hues of a painter’s watercolor touch.
--
wanda was overjoyed at bucky’s gift. she seemed to love the secondhand nature of it, claiming “that’s what gives it personality!” bucky agreed that the book had personality, but he didn’t think it was because of its age. it was because it reminded him of the sweet bookkeeper’s smile. unbeknownst to wanda, he’d taken the bookmark out and kept it for himself.
steve’s birthday was coming up, and seeing as wanda couldn’t stop gushing over her plants, the rest of the team had taken an interest to where the book had come from. when living in a hundred-million-dollar complex, something as simple as the concept of paying for a battered-up, used item was a bit foreign.
“you’re back!” you’d exclaimed at the sight of bucky’s smiling face. it was late june, and between his first meeting with you and today’s mission of retrieving a birthday present for steve, he’d stopped by three times already.
“your favorite regular has arrived,” he grinned, draping himself over the counter teasingly to admire your face. you swatted him away.
“you’re my only regular and you know it.” you tapped his nose. “so what are you looking for today?” you came out from behind the counter, taking extra care to skip over the loose floorboard. after tripping over it twice in front of bucky, you were determined to take extra caution.
“something on art, actually.” he looked down at you adoringly as you stood in front of him, head tilted up to meet his eyes as you rocked back and forth excitedly on the balls of your feet.
“ooooh, you’re versatile!” you wrapped your small hand around his wrist, catching bucky off guard, but by some miracle, a wave of courage swept over him and he slipped his wrist out of your grasp and interlocked your fingers with his. if you were caught off guard, you made no indication, but bucky could swear your heart jumped a little.
you weaved the two of you through the shelves once more. the two of you were fully aware that bucky could probably navigate just fine on his own after his multiple visits here, but neither of you would complain about the extra few minutes you’d get to spend together.
as he browsed, you settled into your usual routine of chatting as he searched and you leaned casually against a shelf. “... so first you come in with gardening, and then the next week it’s archery during the Hun empire, and then last week you get two books—which were great picks, by the way; you were very tasteful with the don quixote and thinking of you reading alice in wonderland absolutely made my day-”
bucky blushed. you had been thinking of him?
“-and now you’re here for art? i’ve got to say, i’m extremely impressed, buck.”
he stood up from his crouch, where he had been examining the lower shelves for the perfect book, and held it up to you for approval. this was also part of the routine—he’d pick out a book, you’d inspect it, and if you deemed it a good fit, he’d buy it.
“i love it! mainstreamers of modern art? i never pegged you for a modern art guy, but i see it now. you’re adventurous.” as the two of you made your way through the checkout process, he couldn’t help the thought that’d been running through his mind the past few weeks.
“do you make the bookmarks yourself?
this time, it was your turn to blush. “um, yeah, actually.” you hesitated before handing him his book and meeting his eye. “i’m no picasso,” you tapped on the cover of the book where his art was featured, “but before you started coming, i had a lot of free time. so i started making little bookmarks.”
the loveliest smile you’d ever seen on bucky’s face, or anybody’s face, for that matter, spread ear-to-ear like the flowers you assumed that wanda had successfully been nurturing.
“what is it?” you laughed nervously, tilting your head away from him shyly.
he reached out and took hold of your jaw with a gentle touch. he wasn’t sure where all this courage was coming from. perhaps it was the spirit of capitan america running through his bloodstream. “don’t… don’t look away. don’t be embarrassed. i think it’s beautiful,” he confessed, eyes never leaving yours just as his hand refused to pull away from where it had reached up to caress your face. the two of you were trying to contain your bashful smiles.
“thank… thank you,” you whispered, finding your faces a bit too close for this to be platonic. at this point, you weren’t sure if the “beautiful” bucky had been talking about was referring to the bookmarks or to you. you hoped it was the latter.
the clanging of the bell broke your spell. the both of you jumped back; you pretended to be busying yourself with papers that didn’t exist and bucky’s arms snapped to his side like a soldier in position. a young woman appeared at the door.
“wanda?” bucky revelled, eyebrows furrowing as he took in the figure of a curious customer scanning the store.
“no, bucky. vision decided to emulate me and come all the way down here to terrorize you. yes, it’s me, wanda,” she deadpanned.
“wanda!” you abandoned your nonexistent busywork. “you’re bucky’s roommate? i’ve heard so much about you? how’s the garden coming along? what’d you think of the book? i’m not sure if- i put bookmarks in all the purchased books, i hope yours didn’t fall out! i put a flowery patterned one in there for you,” you gushed, overjoyed to meet a friend of bucky’s and get a glimpse of his personal life which he was incredibly guarded about. oh, and because you had a new customer, obviously.
“bucky’s told me all about you as well! it’s so nice to finally meet you!” you hesitated for a second as wanda wrapped you into a big hug before reciprocating with equal enthusiasm. bucky didn’t care about wanda’s comment as much as he was thrilled to see you get along with his friends.
“and yes, i loved the bookmark,” wanda said, shooting bucky a questioning glance, eyebrows raised. bucky wilted under her knowing look.
“how did you even find me, wanda?” bucky chewed his lip nervously at wanda’s mischievous smirk.
“oh, it was totally an accident. i found this darling store online and i knew i just had to come get steve’s birthday present here. it just so happens that this is the place you’ve been running off to all these weeks! i can’t believe you’d keep this gem to yourself,” she simpered, taking hold of your hand.
“you know, bucky can’t stop talking about this place,” she smiled. “and you,” she whispered connivingly into your ear. you felt your face heat up and hoped wanda couldn’t tell. she could.
“r-really? that’s so sweet of you,” you stammered, eyes flickering between wanda and bucky. bucky looked like he was going to sink into the floor.
you cleared your throat. “so, you said you’re looking for a birthday present? would you like some assistance or are you good to wander on your own?” you deflected, letting go of wanda’s hand when you felt yours begin to clam up.
“well, i see bucky’s already beat me to the art book. i think steve might like a classic though. he’s been trying to catch up on everything he missed when he was under the ice, and i know he’s always had a soft spot for the paperbacks with the pretty colors. you should stop by and check out his collection!”
you narrowed your eyes. “under… under the ice?” you questioned, not sure where this was going and wondering if you needed to call an ambulance and/or schedule a psychological examination for wanda.
“yeah, you- oh, has bucky not told you?” the both of you turned back to look at bucky, who was still frozen in place by the counter with his eyes wide. wanda turned back to you smugly. “we’re here for steve rogers. you know, captain america.”
your mouth dropped as you stared at wanda blankly. you weren’t sure if you were drooling or not, but you wouldn’t be surprised if you were.
“c-capitan america? the real one? a-and are you wanda, as in the scarlet witch? holy shit. and- oh my god,” you panted, eyes wild. “bucky?”
bucky met your eye, apprehensive. “bucky? i’m so fucking stupid. bucky barnes. james barnes. the- the winter soldier?”
bucky flinched, steeling himself for the inevitable. you sounded so afraid, tripping over your words as you tried to say his name. the secret was out now, and he’d have to stop coming to your bookshop—no longer could he tease you, or buy books he didn’t really need, or spend all his spare cash, or help you dust the shelves, or add to his collection of your bookmarks, or-
“bucky, i can’t believe you didn’t tell me, you little sneak!” you ran up to him and slapped his arm playfully. you tugged at your hair. “i’m so blind, aren’t i? you’re wearing a jacket in the summertime. your name is literally barnes. you told me you lived in a fucking compound on the outskirts of new york and i was so caught up in your pretty face to even-”
you slapped your hand over your mouth, eyes widening enough to rival bucky’s own wide eyed stare.
“uh, wanda! you wanted a book?” you rushed over to her side, grabbing her hand and tugging her deeper into the shelves as wanda snuck a look back at bucky, whose face was buried in his hands as he leaned against the counter.
wanda ended up buying 1984. you were a fidgety mess as you checked her out, tucking another one of your bookmarks between the pages. you and bucky didn’t look at each other once. well, that was a lie. your eyes were burning holes into the first edition paperback while bucky snuck glances at the side of your face, watching your concentrated brows and small huff at the sticky keys of the register with a stupid, infatuated smile on his face. wanda elbowed him hard.
“what was that for?” he hissed, lowering his voice and hoping you couldn’t hear him. wanda rolled her eyes.
“thank you so much,” she simpered as you handed her the book with a polite smile. “you know, you’ve done so much for us. bucky’s never been big on reading before,” wanda patted the super soldier’s arm. your eyebrows raised as if to say, oh really?
“hard to believe, right?” she laughed. “he comes here so much i could be fooled. anyways, i was thinking you should come and celebrate steve’s birthday with us! it’s the fourth of july, which is cliché, i know, but if you don’t have any plans you’d be more than welcome! we’d all love to meet the woman that’s gotten bucky all intellectual recently. your books have more of an impact around the compound than you think.”
you looked terrified. “i- what? the compound, as in the avengers compound? wait, captain america’s birthday? a birthday party? you want me to come to america’s party for his birthday?” you gasped, blinking furiously to try and comprehend the insanity of it all.
wanda giggled. “yes! you’re so cute; i can see why bucky likes you so much.” once again, you and bucky blushed and looked at the floor. wanda either didn’t notice or didn’t care.
“i mean, i’ll have to- i might have to work but- yes! i’d love to, i just have to check with the owner, uh, thank you? for inviting me to your party? um, are there going to be avengers there?”
wanda shook her head, enamored by your antics. “yes, there will definitely be avengers there. it’ll probably just be the team and their families, but you can be bucky’s plus one. here, let me write down the details for you!”
you slid wanda a piece of scrap paper silently, subtly pinching yourself to check if you were dreaming. you were not.
“here ‘ya go! bucky and i can’t wait to see you there!” she chirped before dragging a dazed bucky out of the store and leaving you breathless. bucky can’t wait to see me there.
--
“stop being such a sourpuss, bucky.” wanda complained, smacking his arm with a trail of red energy.
“yeah, bucky. if your girlfriend is half as obsessed with you as you are for her, she’ll show up here with a trumpet fanfare and a horse-drawn carriage. you’re down bad, my man, and it’s getting kinda sad.” sam had his arms crossed in front of bucky, who had decided to tag team with natasha to bully bucky all day.
“it’s steve’s birthday, can we just… ugh,” bucky groaned, tugging at his hair. “i don’t even care if she comes or not. it’s not a big deal. i’ve only seen her like, five times. i’m just a customer. so it doesn’t even matter.”
natasha rolled her eyes. “i’m this close,” she demonstrated with her fingers pinched together, “to beating the stupidity out of you, buchanan.” bucky glared at her.
“can you not-”
“shut the fuck up, idiot,” sam interrupted.
natasha elbowed him “okay, the goal is to piss him off, not rip his fragile, lovesick heart into shreds,” she chastised. bucky pursed his lips in frustration and took a deep, calming breath.
“i am going to remove myself from the situation,” he spoke mostly to himself, closing his eyes and remembering with dr. raynor had taught him. as much as he hated his shrink, he had to admit, therapy was coming in handy when it came to dealing with his asshole teammates. de-escalate, bucky. remove yourself from the aggressive environment. good job, bucky. deep, calming breaths. imagine you’re on a quiet beach…
“bucky!” the sound of your honeyed call broke his trance. his heart raced once more. well, shit. that ruined the whole meditative process. but it was worth it if it meant he got to hear his name roll off your tongue, all sugary and pure.
natasha and sam smirked at each other as you ran over to bucky with a gift in hand and bucky took speedy steps over to you with his long legs. he wrapped you into his arms and you squealed as your feet left the ground as you returned his hug with just as much passion.
“hi!” you whispered as you caught your breath, smiling up at him with such joy that he thought he might melt under your gaze before he’d even get a chance to wish steve a happy birthday.
“so you’re the girl that’s turned that frown upside down?” sam joked, taking your hand delicately and planting a charming kiss on the back of it. you laughed breathlessly, unaware of bucky’s pointed look at the back of sam’s head. it didn’t slip natasha’s perceptive gaze, however, and she took note of it.
“i’m natasha,” the spy shook her hand and raised her eyebrows approvingly at your firm handshake. you introduced yourself eagerly. “wow, you’re the black window! i- wow. i love you so much. my coworker and i are such big fans,” you raved, fanning yourself with your hands.
natasha chuckled, taking your hand in hers and lowering it for you. “well, i’m a big fan of you too.” you looked like you were going to pass out. “it’s an honor to meet the woman who’s turned the most petulant, ancient asshole into a cutesy, sappy little boy.”
you gasped dramatically, eyes jumping up to bucky. “bucky’s not an asshole! or a little boy, for that matter. he’s a cultured reader and classics aficionado. one of my best customers, actually,” you said proudly. natasha and sam looked at each other once more, but you and bucky were too immersed in each other’s smiles to notice their smug looks.
“wait, can you fly?” you whipped your head around to sam. “you’re the falcon! of couse you can fly! sam—can i call you sam?—can you take me flying?”
sam opened his mouth presumably to say yes, as he would take any excuse to zip around the compound and annoy his team, but bucky cut him off.
“nope, we’re not doing that. don’t do that, doll,” he looked down at you. you smiled, confused, at the pet name that slipped out of his mouth. “there’s a 70% chance that sam will kill you and a 10% chance that he’ll land roughly and you’ll both fall, and you look too beau- nice for grass stains. plus i’d really like to spend at least a couple hours with you outside of your work before you die.”
you gaped at him, not sure whether to interpret this as him making jabs at sam or him trying to flirt with you. maybe it was both. you were too stunned to analyze any of it anyway.
“buck? hey, you brought your friend!” steve jogged over eagerly with a glint in his eye that bucky did not like one bit.
“i- oh my gosh- hello? i’m sorry, it’s just that you’re capitan america and that’s pretty cool and stuff and bucky and wanda got books from my store—oh shit, did i just ruin the surprise?” you gasped.
bucky was prepared for steve to scold you for your language, but instead, he burst into a full-bellied laugh that neither of you were expecting. “i may be turning 105, but i’m not blind yet! we can never usually get bucky to talk, but ever since he got wanda her book, it’s all been ‘this girl at the bookstore,’ and ‘did you know that she paints?’ and ‘i wonder what her work schedule’s like because i never see her outside of the store,” steve ranted.
“it’s kind of really annoying, actually,” tony piped in, sauntering over with a half-eaten chocolate covered strawberry in hand. “the gramp won’t shut up about you. it’s nice to know that your favorite vegetable is cauliflower and that you’ve promised to take the tinman to a vegan restaurant. y’know, he hates vegetables. he’s practically a carnivore.”
tony pushed his sunglasses down to give bucky a judging look unobstructed. normally, bucky would’ve retaliated, but all he could do was blush. (from the heat of the sun, obviously. he did forget to put on sunscreen today.)
you looked up at bucky, taking his metal hand and shaking it without hesitation. your fearlessness surprised him—not only had you touched his prosthetic so nonchalantly, but you hadn’t run away screaming after hearing all the embarrassing things his teammates had divulged within the first half hour of your arrival.
“bucky, is it all true?” you teased, licking your lips and tilting your head ever so slightly. bucky knew it was because you were questioning him, but all he could think about was how you were perfectly positioned for him to kiss; all he needed to do was bend down a bit and maybe then he could finally see if you tasted as homely as your books smelled or if you had just eaten cauliflower—somehow, the idea of vegetable breath was appealing if it was on you.
“bucky? you still here?” you poked him in the stomach, which didn’t do much seeing as he was a buff avenger with enhanced strength. he blinked himself into the present.
“yeah, yeah! sorry, uh,” he rubbed the back of his neck, a habit you’d come to recognize as something he did when he was uncomfortable.
“hey, are you okay?” immediately, the interrogation you were planning on giving him disappeared from your lips and was replaced with eyes of concern. you placed your other hand on top of his metal one and tugged on it to catch his attention. “bucky, c’mon. let’s go somewhere quieter.”
you weren’t really sure had no clue where you were going, but once the bubbling of voices from the party began to fade, you stopped and turned to face him fully. his flesh hand, which had continued to run across his face, paused and slowly sank to his side as you watched him solemnly.
“i know that friends sometimes push things to far,” you laughed quietly, eyes darting to the ground, “and it can hurt a little bit. and sometimes for me it’s hard to tell them that i’m hurt.” you looked back up at him, but his face was expressionless.
you sighed. “i guess you’re right; we don’t know each other that well apart from our interactions at the store. but… if what your friends were saying were true, i’d- well, i’d like to know you better. outside the store, i mean.” your eyes darted between bucky’s intense, blue stare. your gaze never left his, even as he swallowed hard and refused to let any emotion cross his face. by the bob of his adam’s apple, though, you could tell that he was affected somehow.
“i wasn’t joking when i said i’d take you to that restaurant, you know. ‘cuz i really like you and i don’t understand you and your reading choices but i’d really like to because… you intrigue me. i don’t care if your team thinks you’re broody or whatever, ‘cuz i think you’re enigmatic and thoughtful.”
you dropped his hands. “ha, sorry. i don’t wanna push it; i know you’re probably really overwhelmed right now, it being your friend’s birthday and hosting a stranger and all your friends probably made you really uncomfortable just now so i don’t want to add to your stress-”
“can i kiss you?” bucky murmmured, the tiniest bit of nervousness flashing across his eyes as he pursed his lips in anticipation for your answer.
you needed no words. instead, you raised your arms and jumped, flinging them around his neck and bucky was quick to understand. he caught you, holding you up by your thighs and being careful to keep things respectful (he was a 40s gentleman, after all). bucky’s eyebrows furrowed as his lips met yours cautiously. god, he’d been dreaming about this for so long, and it always felt a bit vouyeristic knowing that you didn’t reciprocate his feelings. how wrong he was about that.
you hadn’t expected bucky’s lips to be so soft and you adored it when you leaned into the kiss. your noses brushed and your hands, after fidgeting with themselves for a bit, climbed up his neck and into his hair, where you tangled your fingers in his locks and gently rubbed over his scalp. he groaned, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss.
you had to break off, though, as you were not nearly as capable of holding your breath as long as a super soldier was. you were reluctant to do so, of course, and you pulled away just as much as necessary, making sure to remain as close to him as possible. your foreheads and noses were still touching as your lips remained just an few inches away where you were trying to catch your breath. your eyes were closed blissfully, and bucky dared to flutter his open.
there you were, the subject of all of his daydreams in the past few months, so close to him. he could feel your warm breath on his face. when you leaned in to kiss him again, you did so with even more fervor. you gasped into his mouth so wonderfully that he stumbled backwards a couple steps, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip so that your mouth would stay open and he could continue kissing you even deeper.
“bucky,” you whispered hoarsely as you pulled away for a second time. “bucky, i-”
“keep it in your pants, barnes!” tony’s voice bellowed from the party, and bucky burned red. you wiggled a bit in his hold and he took it as a sign to set you back on the ground. once you were standing, you shook your hands fiercely, letting out all the tension.
“wow,” you breathed, a satisfied, wonderstruck smile blooming on the lips buky had just kissed.
“wow is pretty accurate,” bucky agreed equally as breathless.
when you two captured each other’s eyes again, bucky reached down to cup your jaw and run his thumb over your cheek.
“you’re so beautiful, you know that?” he muttered, smiling fondly as you leaned into his touch and covered your hand with his own.
“i could say the same about you.” you turned your head so that your lips were in the palm of your hand and pressed a chaste kiss to his skin. he was glad he hadn’t reached out with his metal hand. he didn’t want to miss out on feeling every kiss you blessed him with.
“we should go back.” you watched as clint’s kids and tony’s daughter began pleading to cut the cake whilst steve insisted that they wait for the two of you to return.
“we should,” bucky nodded.
neither of you spoke or made any effort to move. instead, you stood on your toes to press one final kiss to the corner of bucky’s mouth and whispered “you don’t even have my phone number.”
he laughed. “doesn’t matter. i’ll just come bother you at the bookstore.”
you bit your lip to stop the beam that was sure to explode across your face and agitate your sore cheeks, so you tilted your head towards the party.
“we should definitely go back. the cake, and stuff. and maybe if i decide that i really like you, i’ll give you my number at the end of the party. so don’t get too comfortable.”
“it’s a deal, doll.”
--
you were perched on one of bucky’s thighs, horizontal to his chest, as the two of you dug into new reads. just like steve, bucky had decided to catch up on the classics (mostly because it meant he could watch your face light up as you chattered on about your favorites and what they meant and tried to convince him to read them, even though he knew he’d read anything you gave him anyway). thus began your sunday ritual of domesticity. bucky knew sunday was your only day off, so the first sunday after steve’s birthday, he had planned to make the most of it.
he took the train to brooklyn (he loved liked you even more for that) and picked you up at 10. he’d brought you to one of the coffee shops that’d been running since the 40s, which you doted on; “it’s so classic! i love mrs. basque—she gets me, you know? hates the gentrification too; she’s so progressive.” he teased you when he found out you (used to) hate “old people.”
“what a change of heart, huh? first your boss wins you over, then you fall for an 106 year old, and now you seem to like mrs. basque more than me.”
“well, if you keep making fun of me, maybe i will start liking mrs. basque more than you.”
bucky had dropped to his knees right outside of the store, begging you to forgive him as the two of you struggled to hold in obnoxiously loud laughs for the sakes of the people around you.
bucky had taken you up to the compound and cooked you a plant based meal and even ate it himself, which was when you realized how deeply you felt for him. he showed you wanda’s garden, helped you safely fly with sam, and then brought you to see steve’s book collection. but the best thing he’d done was present you with a book. it was a limited edition copy of herland, the book you’d been raving about ever since you’d convinced bucky to read the yellow wallpaper. he’d devoured your collection of feminist literature soon after and you fell a little more.
and now, curled up against the chest of the man you loved adored, you were struck by your second revelation of just how far you’d fallen. you watched as his blue eyes, almost as blindingly bright as his smile, danced across the pages of the newest novel you’d given to him. you watched as the sunlight streaming from the window made his eyelashes glow golden, and how his fingers tapped on the cover of the book absentmindedly. you knew he truly cared about the book when he let you be mesmerized by him instead of looking away, embarrassed. and he knew you truly cared about him when he took the time to read through your little annotations and add some of his own.
you shifted, wrapping your arms around his broad chest and nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck. he hummed contetedly, using two fingers to hold the book open so that he could free up one of his hands to rub your back with.
from within the blanket of security his body provided you, you allowed yourself to confront your feelings. he’d confessed to you two weeks ago that the only reason he’d kept coming back for books was because he wanted to see you again. technically, he had a “reason” to, but he was the one coming up with them. the book on Hun empire archery was for clint, who didn’t really want the book in the first place, and when he came back the third time, he did so with the intention to ask you on a date. when he chickened out, he thought that’d be the last time he’d see you. instead, he ended up buying two more books—not because he was particularly interested in the classics, but because he’d asked you for your recommendations and you had said don quixote. he picked up alice in wonderland mainly as a joke, but ended up reading it (and loving it) just because it was you who sold him the book.
and then you learned he’d been keeping each one of your bookmarks, treasuring them as if they truly were picasso-level art, and you’d planted the biggest kiss on his cheek. and then you’d learned he never learned how to cook and taught himself just so he could make food for you, and you threw yourself into his arms. and then you had met alpine, and discovered that bucky would read aloud to his cat every night.
and then—well, just now, you cursed yourself out in your head. holy fucking shit i’m such a dumbass, aren’t i? i’m in love with this man. i’m in love with bucky. i. love. bucky.
you didn’t even hesitate when you lifted your head from his shoulder and pecked his cheek to catch his attention. when he closed his book, making sure your bookmark was properly secured before closing it, your breath was shaky.
“i love you, bucky. i’m so in love with you it’s stupid. i love you.”
bucky was silent for just a second before pulling you into the tightest hug. “i love you too,” he whispered into your hair, voice wet with emotion. “i’ve loved you for so long,” he confessed, pulling away and keeping his hands on your shoulders as if he wanted to be assured that you’d never leave.
“i hated everything you loved, at first. reading. vegetables. being so happy, all the time. but you made me love it all. and i must be the biggest fool for taking so long to figure this out, but the reason i’ve changed isn’t because i’ve learned to love all those things. it’s because i learned to love you. and i’d stop eating beef for you, sweetheard. i’d eat cauliflower burgers for the rest of my life if it means i get to love you.”
you backhanded his cheek softly. “you stupid, stupid boy,” you sniffed. “i hate you. god, i hate that you do this to me.” you were blinking back tears. “you’re making me fucking cry. i hate the power you have over me.” you didn’t. the both of you knew that you didn’t.
leaning in, you pressed your lips to his. it was a shitty kiss where your big smiles stopped you from actually doing much kissing, but the “shittiness” of it all was what made it charming. and no amount of bad customer service of ineffective advertisting could convince you or bucky otherwise.
*rants cutely* i just love the fact that i just had a mental breakdown because my school hasn't taught me anything about how to economically manage my life after college and i literally don't know ANYTHING about ANYTHING like i literally don't they haven't taught us anything and i only have one year left before college i genuinely don't know how i'm going to survive after college i have too bad of depression and adhd to actually hold down a job or a place which means i won't be able to pay for my anti-depressants, i'm aromantic so i won't be able to get marriage benefits so i won't be able to have kids even though i really want them because i won't even be able to take care of myself let alone my kids, and i can't do anyting about any of it and i'm terrified and argh.
i know you're busy and you don't know me but i could really use some reassurance that i'll be okay even if it's not true because i've seen what happens to mentally ill queer people when it's hard for us to work or do anything and i know it could happen to me and i'm really really scared and i just need to know i'll be okay even if i won't because i'm so scared of ending up homeless
sorry i don't mean to put pressure on a random internet stranger i'm not asking for help it's not your job i just want to know that it's not impossible to make it in the world because right about now it feels like it
You REALLY know know how to pick them for emotional support.
I have major depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. I am not okay 🤣
But as a mentally ill queer person myself you'll probably be fine.
First but if advice is get some customer service experience before you graduate college. You'll do better.
Second bit of advice is get a paid internship in your field preferably Junior and Senior year of college. It'll help you get a job right off the bat.
Third bit of advice is don't choose a major where you will experience discrimination. My life would be a thousand times easier if I weren't a femme in STEM.
Fourth but if advice is check out the insurance options on the open market. Call a medical insurance broker and review your options. If there's viable options in your state, you might want to look at contract jobs. They generally pay more (account for the fact that they don't contribute to your taxes or insurance). The only downside is you don't get PTO.
And medical insurance is a pain in the ass, but get an insurance broker. You don't have to pay anything, and they'll help you with the just stressful parts. I legit wouldn't have had insurance last year without it.
And as long as your pay is pretty straightforward (no tips or anything like that) you can use a free tax service. Your job will mail you you're W2, and you just enter the numbers from that into a free tax service. Taxes are easy if your pay is straight forward.
You'll be fine. You just have to get a job that's good for you. I recommend if looking for a new job every year or so is too stressful, try to find a well-rounded job. I'm a full-stack developer, so my job changes every day and sometimes every few hours and it's great.
Another thing if you want to find a job you like ask your interviewer if they'd let you switch to different roles or projects relatively easily if something else caught your interest. My favorite (as a developer) is "I understand this role is front-end, but if in five years I wanted a more backend role, would I be able to move around in the department like that?" If they say yes, that's a good job for ADHD.
Just always be sure to have questions about the company ready at an interview, and always frame your questions like "in five to ten years" this does 2 things. 1) it gets the image of you working there in their mind. 2) it shows if they hire you, you'll stick around. They like that.
Hope that helps. I've only been adulting for a few years, so I'm always happy to infodump the 101 things I wish people told me. Maybe my life would be easier if I had someone do the same for me.
Remember, if you get hired and it doesn't work out? Change jobs. I've been at my job a year and a half, but they don't quite have the pay/benefits I think I deserve, so I'll look elsewhere.
Most importantly, when participating in capitalism, always put yourself first. Remember your employer won't put you first. Their first priority is the company.
MOST IMPORTANTLY DON'T FORGET TO UNIONIZE. Don't talk union at your job, obviously, but the only way to ensure you're treated fair is to talk openly with your coworkers about everyone's pay and unionizing (outside of work, obviously, and only with your coworkers not your boss or manager).
To start a career in the web development field, you need to choose either front-end web development or back-end web development and if you want to be a full-stack developer you can choose both. Here we will discuss both paths. First, we will talk about what things you should learn and use to go on either path.
Here are some core technologies and tools you need to learn for both frontend and backend roadmap tasks.
Git -
One of the most popular version control systems. It's not possible to live without Git anymore. Git is a software for tracking changes in any set of files, usually used for coordinating work among programmers. It’s goals include speed, data integrity and non-linear workflows.
SSH -
SSH stands for Secure Shell. It is a Cryptographic Network Protocol for operating network services securely over an unsecured network. Typically applications include Remote Command Line, Login and Remote Command Execution. Every network service can be secured with SSH.
It is a popular networking concept every web developer should know.
HTTP/HTTPS -
HTTP stands for Hypertext Transfer Protocol and HTTPS stands for Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure.
Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure is an Extension of Hypertext Transfer Protocol. It is widely used over the Internet. For Secure Communication over a computer network, HTTPS is a good way to communicate. HTTP Protocol is the Backbone of the web, and to be a Web Developer you should have good knowledge of both HTTP and HTTPS.
Linux Command - Basic Terminal Uses -
Linux command is the utility of the Linux Operating System. All basic and advanced tasks can be done by executing commands. The commands are executed on the Linux Terminal. The terminal is a Command Line Interface. It is used to interact with the system, it is similar to Command Prompt in Windows.
Not just a Web Developer but for any Programmer, Command Line is a very important factor.
Data Structures & Algorithms -
A Data Structure is a named location which can be used to store and organize data. An Algorithm is a collection of steps which help you to solve a problem. Learning Data Structure and Algorithms allows us to write efficient and optimized computer programs
These are the building blocks for every program and better knowledge of data structure and algorithm. It is vital for your next job or doing well at your current job..
Character Encoding -
If you are creating global applications that show information in multiple languages, across the world then you should have a good knowledge of character encoding.
Character Encoding is used in Computing, Data Storage and Data Transmission to represent a collection of characters by some kind of encoding system. This technique assigns a number to each character for digital representation.
Github -
There is no doubt that every developer or programmer uses Github and Git for getting code information and give some mock tests to check the performance in coding.
Both Git and Github are the standard terms in code repositories.
Github is a provider of internet hosting for software development and version control using Git. It offers the Distributed Version Control and Source Code management functionality.
Now we will discuss both the roadmaps, step by step.
Frontend Developer Roadmap -
If you want to become a Frontend Developer then you should have knowledge in some coding technologies.
In the starting phase, you should have knowledge about some basics of HTML, CSS and JavaScript.
In HTML you should know about the basics of html, semantic html, basic seo and accessibility.
In CSS you should know about the basics of css, making layout, media queries and also CSS3. You should know roots, positioning, display, box model, css grid and flex box.
In JavaScript, you should have a knowledge about syntax and basic constructs, learn dom manipulation, learn fetch api, ajax, ecmascript 6 and modular javascript.
Then you need to start learning about Package Managers, in this you can learn npm and yarn. npm is the latest technology, but still behind yarn in some features. You can select one of them.
Then you have to learn about CSS Preprocessors, which should be SASS and PostCSS.
You can learn about CSS Frameworks, in this you should know about Bootstrap 4.
You can start learning about CSS Architecture, with modern frontend frameworks, there is more push towards CSS in JS methodologies.
Now you can build tools, Task Runners, Module Bundlers, Linters and Formatters. In task runners, you can use npm scripts. In module bundlers, you can use webpack and rollers.
After completing all these steps you need to choose a Framework, it should be Reactjs, Angular and Vue.js. Then use CSS in JS and then test your apps.
Web Development Basics -
It's pretty apparent that if you want to become a web developer, then you should know the basics of the internet, web applications, protocols like http. In general you have knowledge about web development.
HTML and CSS -
HTML and CSS are the backbones of any website, html provides the structure and css provides the style and helps them to look better. If you want to become a serious frontend developer then you must master these two.
JavaScript -
Just like the four pillars of object oriented programming, encapsulation, abstraction, polymorphism and inheritance. Web Development has three pillars, which are HTML, CSS and JavaScript.
HTML and CSS provide structure and style but Javascript makes them alive by adding Interactiveness.
TypeScript -
Just like in programming, we should know about C and C++, the same as TypeScript, which is considered as JavaScript++.
TypeScript is also a programming language developed by Microsoft and also maintained by Microsoft. It is a superset of JavaScript. It is designed for the development of large applications.
Angular -
Angular is a web application framework. It is a typescript based free and open source framework. It is developed by the Angular Team of Google. Angular is an enhanced form of AngularJS, it is completely rewrite.
In the starting phase you should have knowledge about HTML, CSS and JavaScript. But these days, most of them work on Angular, Vue.js, Reactjs and Typescript.
They provide short and simple code which consumes low storage.
Reactjs -
Like Angular, Reactjs is also a very popular library to develop web applications. Reactjs is developed and maintained by Facebook Team. Most people work on reactjs instead of php and other programming languages.
Reactjs is an enhanced form of PHP and we can also include HTML, CSS and JavaScript.
Backend Web Developer Roadmap -
To become a backend web developer, you need to know about some languages.
So the first step is to pick a language.
It should be Functional Language and Scripting Language.
In functional language you need to learn about Java and .Net and in Scripting language you need to learn about Python, Ruby, PHP, Node.js and Typescript.
After learning all these languages, you need to start doing practice, as a beginner you need to do the practice.
Implement those commands you have learned. Learn about the Package manager and start implementing this. Learn about Testing and Bug Fixing.
Start knowing about Relational Database and Framework. You can learn MongoDB Database, it is enough to know about databases and uses of databases. Then start gaining knowledge of Web Server like Apache.
Node.js -
Same as reactjs, node.js is mostly used by maximum web developers. Like reactjs, node.js allows you to make complete web applications using a single language which is Node.js.
Java -
Mostly in the starting phase, people start learning about java. And almost all made their first application using java. Java is a very old language but its popularity is not gone till now like C. Java provides 99% features of object-oriented programming.
Python -
Python is a trending Language, you should have a focus on python. You can make your career bright by learning Python. If you want to develop the back-end code using python then you can use Django. It is a Full Stack Web Development Framework for Python Programmers.
Full-stack development technology is the most comprehensive and complete in-house solution to develop engaging websites and applications for global enterprises. The Full Stack Development revolves around developing each layer of the software comprised of front-end, back-end, and the databases including all integral components such as UI and UX design, underlying platform and coding.
Course Highlights :
Instructor-led Classroom and Online
Training modes
Best-in-Class Training Curriculum
Beginner to Expert Level Training
Hands-on Programming Practice
Pro-Python Tips & Tricks Practice Activities
Unlimited Access - Online or Offline Flexible Guaranteed to Run Schedules
Self-Paced Learning
Course Content :
Introduction
HTML Basics
CSS
JavaScript
JavaScript Supported Data Structures
Adv. JavaScript
jQuery
AJAX
Jquery Animations
HTML 5
CSS 3
Mongo DB
Angular JS
Node JS
Express JS
Pre-Requisite :
All individuals who want to become a Full Stack Developer, all Front-end developers who wish to acquire backend programming skills, and all Back-end developers who wish to acquire front-end programming skills.
Course Description :
Full-stack development technology is the most comprehensive and complete in-house solution to develop engaging websites and applications for global enterprises. The Full Stack Development revolves around developing each layer of the software comprised of front-end, back-end, and the databases including all integral components such as UI and UX design, underlying platform and coding.
Full Stack Development training and certification course at Brillica Services is designed to empower you with the critical skills to develop fully-functional and market-ready applications. Our pool of certified instructors helps you acquire proficiencies in Web development, jQuery, AngularJS, NodeJS, MongoDB, HTML, CSS, HTML5 and CSS3, Java, Python and much more which not only helps you scale optimized opportunities but also attain expertise in the niche domain of web development.
Accommodating the evolving role of developers and covering all aspects of web technology, the full-stack development training at Brillica Services is available at custom schedules and in blended learning, modes to map your preferred learning needs at an affordable cost.
"I feel like you're going to try to sell me a time share," Bucky said, studying the bland conference room Tony had reserved. It looked like probably every other conference room Bucky had ever been, as if they were all ordered out of the same catalogue; beige walls, carpeted floor that had the feeling of being beige while actually having flecks of red and blue in it, and the tables and chairs with wheels on them so they could be moved easily. Tony had even pulled down a screen and to all appearances, was setting up for a powerpoint presentation.
"It's all about presentation, Mr. Barnes," Tony said. He picked up a clicker and a red dot appeared on Bucky's chest, then started moving around in what Bucky eventually recognized as a heart shape. "Gotta know your audience and what they'll respond to. Too fancy, and they'll be scared off. Not fancy enough, and they'll feel like they're being scammed. A hotel conference room fits neatly inside that middle ground."
"You've put a lot of thought into this," Bucky said. He glanced at the clock, saw that they had a few minute before people were supposed to arrive and dipped his head for a quick kiss.
"Well, yeah," Tony started, but then there was a knock on the door. Tony opened it to see that part of the security detail started bringing in the refreshments for the meeting, coffee and donuts and croissants and other breakfast-style food that people would probably pick at and leave mostly untouched. "Natasha helped," he continued, poking at the refreshments table and rearranging everything slightly. "She's better at that side of things, the headology, as she calls it."
"I can see that." Bucky watched Tony putter. Looked like Tony was nervous, which was kind of adorable. "So you can't even give me a sneak peak at what you're talking about today?"
Tony shook his head. "For right now, you're a potential investor, not my lover."
"Ok, ok," Bucky said. He realized he was following Tony around as he puttered aimlessly and made himself stop. "So I got to see KT today. Brought him his laptop so he could start catching up on homework."
That made Tony stop rearranging the plates and napkins and turn to Bucky with a smile. "Good! So that mean's he is doing well?"
"Yep. Should be out of there soon. Any update on Rumlow?"
Tony's smile turned evil. "From what I hear, he's had a run of bad luck lately, such a shame. He lost his service pistol, which, you know, big no no. And did you know someone stole his patrol car, spray painted it, and left something unmentionable smeared on the seats? Then did the same with his personal car, which was found laying upside down in front of his apartment building?"
With a force of effort Bucky kept his face blank. "Strange."
"Very strange," Tony agreed. "Insurance didn't even pay out, mysteriously enough. Apparently they had dropped his coverage the day before and he hadn't gotten the notice yet."
"Crime in this city is getting really out of hand," Bucky said seriously. "He's lucky it wasn't something worse."
"Oh it will be, give it time."
There was that smug look again that Bucky loved, and he started to sneak another kiss when there was another knock. This time the security guard was escorting people inside, a middle-aged Black couple that looked around cautiously, like they were expecting the conference room to contain something nefarious. Bucky straightened immediately, trying to look professional, and smiled at them as Tony welcomed them inside, calling them by name and offering them a warm handshake. There was a steady stream after that, until the conference room was about half full.
"Hello everyone, let's get started," Tony said, taking a head count and looking at the clock. "All of you are here because you either were recommended by a friend or a family, or I sent you a personal invitation. Thank you for being willing to join me today for this presentation, and please save your questions for the end. As you all know, my name is Tony Stark, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist, and in this presentation I'm going to ask you for money." Tony grinned as almost everyone laughed. "Then I'm going to tell you what you're going to get for your money, and then I'm going to explain how you're not even going to notice that your money is gone."
As interested as Bucky was in the presentation, he kept getting distracted by watching Tony effortlessly charm the room, making eye contact with each person and joking just enough to keep people interested without derailing his speech. It was a warmer, more authentic show than what Bucky had seen at the Policeman's Ball and it made Bucky's heart turn over with affection as he watched. KT had been right when he said that the buy-in speech could make you a believer; not just in the astonishing amount of benefits that Tony offered to people who agreed to the buy-in, but because Tony's enthusiasm for the project was contagious.
"So why do you need our money?" One guy interrupted. "If you've got so much of it?"
"Good question," Tony said. He leaned against one of the tables, putting his hands in his pocket and crossing his legs at the ankle. "Yeah, the majority of the start-up money came from me. Since this organization is technically a nonprofit, I get to write it all off of my taxes, the way rich people often do. But I ask for your money because if I paid for all of it, then it would belong to me, wouldn't it? The whole point of this enterprise is to build ownership and equity in the community. You own the health clinic and the child care centers, the retirement homes and the apartment complexes. Not only does it mean you get to decide what to do with them, but it means that you start having a place at the same table that all of the billionaire developers and well-connected real estate moguls do."
"But the stuff about the taxes and stuff, where we just hand it all to you, that's tax fraud, isn't it? Which is illegal?"
"Well, yes, in a way," Tony said honestly. "You avoid paying taxes the same way rich people avoid paying taxes, by finding loopholes in the tax code and driving semi-trucks through them. But also, I'm the criminal, not you. If we get caught, I'm the big bad con artist that scammed honest folks like you out of your hard earned savings. There will be a class action lawsuit after the criminal proceedings, my lawyer will fight hard but not too hard to defend my assets, then they will eventually get divided up among all my victims in the kind of feel-good, good guys win story that is made for Hallmark TV. In the mean time, my job is to help the community fund the type of social welfare projects that the government should be doing but isn't, by taking from people who don't deserve it and giving it to the people that do. Which the government should also be doing but isn't."
"So this is like, socialism," a young woman said in accented English. "Instead of paying the government taxes, we give that money to you, and you like, do all this stuff with it."
"Pretty much. Grassroots socialism with a capitalist veneer. I like to think of it as stone soup, from the kid's story."
"But why?"
"Because it's the right thing to do," Tony said, like it was obvious. Bucky hid his smile in his hand and hoped he didn't look too besotted; he'd sat all the way in the back for a reason. "I don't know else to say it. Why should I have so much when others have so little? I give a lot it away, because there really are so many problems that can be solved by throwing money at them, but some can't. Some need systemic change, which means empowering people, which is what I'm trying to do. That's why it's a buy-in, and not a handout." There was still some obvious reluctance among the group, and Tony's smile turned a little sad. "Look, I get it. You are used to people promising a lot and not delivering. And you think this sounds way too good to be true, right?" No one really answered, but the way they kind of avoided Tony's eyes said a lot. "Let me tell you a story.
"So I've been donating regularly to the free clinic on 17th for a while now. A few years ago, there was a kid volunteering there because he wanted to go to medical school. But he was in a shit position - his parents made too much money to qualify for the grants and needs-based scholarships, but not enough to actually afford tuition or even qualify for good student loans. So the doctor in charge of the clinic emailed me and told me to do something useful with all of the blood money I was getting from Stark Industries, and so I did. I paid for his entire education, and he came back and is currently the head physician at the rehab clinic. So if you want there to be a catch, if you need there to be a catch so that you can believe what I'm telling you, then that's the catch - you have to try to give back at least as much as you were given."
There was a long, thoughtful silence after that, and Tony wisely let it sit for a while instead of trying to fill it with words. "You don't have to answer now," he said after a few moments. "The forms that you would need to fill out for the buy-in are right here," he added, tapping a stack of papers next to him. "Take one with you, and think about it. Any last questions?"
"Yeah, I got one," the young woman said. "I heard you stole Jeff Bezos' car, is that true?"
-------------
A/N: If you enjoyed this story, come find me over at @marveltrumpshate where I will be participating in auctioning off TWO fanfics! One auction is a fic with art (with @massivespacewren) as WrenFyre and the other is a solo fic as Dracusfyre. All the money goes to a good cause of your choosing, so I hope to see you there!
i don’t know if your event is still open since it is already past time from your deadline but the event in ypur navigation says otherwise so i am betting my luck ≡^ˇ^≡
i am INFJ-T, and i am a pisces ☉ scorpio ☽. i use she/her. i love to have mutual pinning trope with reiner braun. i’m someone who is studious and sometimes i based my worth to my grades LMFAO i like earth tones. i love cooking and singing, too! my love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service!
thank you for creating this such beautiful event 🤍
hi mono! I hope you like it angel! <3 (also this is so funny I literally started this the day you submitted and before I navigated through your (now old) theme, at least it's ON BRAND)
The Moon: everything looks prettier under the moon's glow. this is the card for the subconscious, for the dreamer, for hidden thoughts and feelings. this card has many different meanings, anxiety and fear lace the moon as well, but I like to interrupt this as a positive sign when it appears in a reading. it provides a dreamy cast on all things that fall under its light. this card just makes so much sense to me with you being an infj, someone who's filled with imagination and insightfulness.
ivy - frank ocean. "If I could see through your walls, I could see you're faking. If you could see my thoughts, you would see our faces."
If there were words to describe him, they escaped every corner of your mind. His blonde hair curled outwards in flicks against the nape of his neck, begging for your fingers to reach out and entangle themselves in the strands. You knew he’d be going to get it cut within the week, he always did when it grew out to be this long. Still, you could admire him, even if you were staring directly into the back of his head, daydreaming away of your could be love.
“Pass the quizzes back!” Professor Hange called out from the front of the room, handing out large stacks to the front rows of students.
You sat back in the fifth row, directly behind Reiner Braun, the theoretical love of your life. Had you even spoken more than two sentences to the man? Absolutely not. Did you know his favorite flavor of gum was spearmint, and he never could keep a pencil on his person? Of course, he asked you every single day.
It wasn’t like Reiner had a well known reputation or anything, in fact he floated like a social butterfly between so many different groups of people, it was hard to dislike the guy. He always had a charming smile on his face and a kind word to say. It didn’t take much to develop your small crush on the man sitting in front of you, and although he was mostly silent while in class, his eyes would swirl with concentration whenever you’d catch his line of view.
The sight of his sharp jawline came into your field of vision as he turned, resting one arm on the back of his chair as he met your eyes, palm extended with your paper, “Here ya’ go.”
“Thank you,” you managed to smile, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear before reaching forward, passing back the rest of the stack to the student behind you.
“I’m sure you did great,” he offered a small smile when you turned back around, the genuine kind that had your heart fluttering in your chest. “You always do.”
“I’m sure you did too,” you responded shyly, diverting your gaze to the paper now in front you, smiling as your eyes scanned the contents. A perfect score, just as you had hoped.
Reiner hadn’t completely turned around yet, darting his eyes between you and his own quiz, “Hey, can I ask you something?”
Record officially broken, “Sure, what’s up?”
“Do you think you could help me out with this class?” his eyes were shifting all over the room, his usual confident façade in tatters. “I don’t understand a single thing about biology.”
“Um,” your eyes widened dramatically, a cold sweat breaking out under your clothing. No way, there was literally no way this was actually happening.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” you saw the twinge of pink rise on the apples of his cheeks as his fingers lifted to scratch the back of his neck. “I can pay you too.”
“No, no,” you shook your head furiously, forcing words passed your teeth. “You don’t have to pay me. When did you, uh, want to do this?”
“I guess after class if you’re not busy,” his eyes flickered to the clock above the whiteboard on the wall. Please say yes, he chanted in his mind.
“No, not really. That works for me,” You'd be calling out of work right now if you had a job, cancelling any and all plans to take full advantage of this golden moment. One that had played in your head the entire semester, living in your daydreams while you ogled the blonde with a fluttering heart.
“Cool,” Reiner bit down on his bottom lip as he smiled, readjusting himself to face forward as Professor Hange began to lecture the class about their pitiful grades.
“Cool,” you breathed out, feeling a sense of relief now his eyes weren’t directly on you. If you only knew how Reiner’s heart thumped in his ears, how that smile never left his lips. He’d been working up the courage to ask you that all semester.
The library was nearly empty after the sunset, the perfect scene for your tutoring session with the ever handsome Reiner. It took all of your willpower to stay focused on the textbooks sprawled on the table in front of you, and not the warmth radiating from his body as he sat next to you, his knee brushing against yours.
“Okay, so what’s the difference between mitosis and meiosis again?” you whispered, feeling the gnawing tingle of sleepiness behind your eyelids.
Reiner broke the contact from the page in front of him, you could feel his breath hit your cheeks bones as he muttered, “Mitosis has four stages while meiosis has eight. The chromosome numbers are the same in each one though.”
“No, just mitosis stays the same,” you turned your head to the old book in front of you, pointer finger trailing the sentence as you corrected him. “The daughter cell is halved in chromosomes in meiosis. Both produce new cells and start with a single parent cell.”
“This makes no sense,” Reiner groaned, placing his head in his hands.
This plan seemed a lot better in his head, allowing the perfect opportunity to get close to you, to hold a conversation. He’d turn around almost every day of class and ask to borrow a pencil, just to talk to you. He felt bad when he’d begin to turn in his chair just to see you already extending one out for him. So, Reiner moved on to offering you gum every day. This also became the expected, and you began placing a foiled covered stick on his desk as you’d walk into class every day.
You were just so smart and so pretty, there was absolutely no way he stood a chance. He lacked the brains, lacked the courage, not to mention he didn’t have any outstanding features. Sure if he was incredibly handsome he could at least try to dumbly pull you, ignorantly stumbling over half assed compliments and actions. But he was too self aware, feeling small next to your figure. He was out of ideas, and found that he was using his last ditch efforts to finally make his move.
“Here, I’ll make you some flash cards,” you offered, taking a sharpie and some loose index cards from your school bag.
“Do you think we could do this more often?” Reiner mumbled out suddenly, a fierce blush threatening the tips of his ears. “The, uh, study sessions? I’m really lost.” He just wanted to spend more time with you.
“Yeah, of course,” you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, avoiding his gaze at all costs.
“Cool,” he breathed out, a weight lifted off of his chest. “I’m usually free after class most days, maybe we could like, get food tomorrow?”
Reiner was sweating awaiting your answer. He’d been building up the courage for weeks now to ask to be in your presence, and he felt as if he might’ve been pushing his luck. Of course, you didn’t feel this way at all, almost in a stupor that your crush had even asked to spend more time with you.
“Okay,” you smiled so softly, Reiner could feel the red heat reach the apples of his cheeks. “There’s this really cool diner in town, I’ve been dying to go.”
“The retro one? I’ve been there a few times, it’s pretty cool, and the food is really good,” C’mon Reiner find another reason to keep her attention, “Are you busy tonight, we can go now?”
You glanced down to your outfit, and deemed it cute enough to go out in public, “You sure? I don’t want to hold you up if you have plans.”
Reiner couldn’t pack his bookbag faster, fingers clumsily fumbling all the notes he had taken during your study session, “I’ll call an Uber right now.”
It was like you had known Reiner all of your life. If someone were to pass by the diner’s windows that night and saw the two of you, shoveling food into your mouths and sipping on milkshakes, they could’ve sworn that you were dating, deeply in love. The way you both leaned in across the table, toes centimeters away from touching under the booth, fingertips so close on the table, it was almost a sure sign. Reiner of course wouldn’t have worked up the courage to officially ask you out until your sixth study session, almost at the end of the semester. And of course you said yes, brain malfunctioning at the admittance of his feelings.
When you met Reiner’s closest friends, Bertholdt and Annie, he introduced you as “the smartest, prettiest girl in the whole world”, and had gotten a little too enthusiastic when asked how the two of you met.
“We had a class together and I drooled over her every single day, and finally got the courage to ask her out,” not exactly the truth, you’d think as he’d recite the story. He was leaving out how badly you had pined over him as well. Almost in denial, Reiner genuinely couldn’t believe he had somehow managed to capture your heart from the very beginning.
It seemed as if your feelings for Reiner only deepened and blossomed under the weight of your new relationship. You had only begun to scratch the surface, and you fell so deeply in love with the blonde as time moved forward. Maybe it was the universe calling to you when you had first met him in your biology class, or maybe you were just meant to be soulmates. You’d say exactly that too when your friends would ask you how the two of you got together.
There wasn’t a better matched couple, the friends would think. Strangers would agree too, catching the sight of your conjoined hands together and loving gazes and you’d sit in that diner, night after night, study sessions in the library. It had to be fate, you decided in the end. Reiner was everything you ever wanted and more, even better than the daydreams you had conjured while you stared at the back of his head. Reiner felt exactly the same, and he told you every single day how you were the best thing to ever happen to him.
I recently re-wrote an old AU of mine, one where Ahsoka is adopted by Padme and Anakin, and eventually finds out that she is a big sister. You can read it here.
@captainadwen reblogged it, and added this comment in the tags:
Fix it AU? You got it.
.........
Ahsoka is adopted by Anakin and Padme. Ahsoka and Anakin practically clear out their entire living space at the Temple so they can move in with Padme. Ahsoka gets her own room; the walls are soon covered in notes and drawings and photos. Regardless of how awful the day was, the three of them get to go home and make dinner together, laugh together.
On one such night, after a horrible mission that kept them apart for weeks, Anakin has an epiphany. He's sitting on the couch, arm wrapped around Padme's shoulders. She's leaning into him, resting her head on his chest, reading from the book on her lap. Ahsoka is on his other side. She fell asleep some time ago. Thanks to faulty intel and a split second distraction, there's a bandage covering most of her back and right lekku. She shakes a little, mumbles something, but a gentle pulse along their training bond is enough to quell the nightmares. The dinner dishes are stacked in the sink, there's three mugs of tea sitting on the table in front of them. And he realizes, in this moment, this is what he wants. All he wants. Forever.
The next morning, Anakin tells Ahsoka he's planning to leave the Order, as soon as the war is over. There's an argument, Ahsoka doesn't want to leave Barriss, Obi-Wan, Plo-Koon. The Order is all she's ever known. Anakin tells her that he's insanely proud of her, but she wasn't raised to be a Jedi. She was raised to be a soldier. Ahsoka shuts down, stunned. She doesn't want to believe it.
Anakin leaves her alone with her thoughts. After a while, she goes and hugs Anakin, apologizes for yelling. He apologizes too, tells her that she'll be a great Jedi, that he'll stay until she's Knighted. Padme says she doesn't want to be a Senator forever, but that Ahsoka will always have a home with them, that they'll support her no matter what she wants.
Ultimately, it's Ahsoka who leaves the Order first. She spends time in the Underworld of Corusant, learning from Rafa and Trace. She learns more about what it means to really be a Jedi. She's reunited with Anakin shortly before the Siege of Mandalore, and ends up going with him to rescue the Chancellor.
Upon their return to Corusant, Padme tells Anakin she's pregnant. Anakin is so excited and terrified at the same time. He doesn't tell Ahsoka right away, only that he has to leave the Order, has to go to Naboo and he'll be back as soon as he can. She wants to know what's going on, but Anakin asks her to trust him. And she does.
So Anakin resigns from the Order and leaves with Padme for Naboo. Ahsoka asks the Council if she can return to the Order, and they eagerly accept, still reeling from Anakin's departure. But she has two conditions: that she be promoted to Knight Intiate, a long forgotten rank marking the transition from Padawan-hood to Jedi Knight. She also asks to be assigned to finish her training under Obi-Wan Kenobi. Their relationship is still healing following her trial, but she knows that Anakin would want someone looking after him.
Obi-Wan accepts, believing this whole thing to be another one of Anakin's wild schemes. The Dark Side makes him feel heavy and clouded. The path forward is uncertain, and he is struggling to find a direction.
Anakin is now far away from the influence of the Chancellor. So Palpatine's attention turns to what he believes to be the next best thing- his renegade student, already suspected of treason, thinking it'd be easy to turn her raw power into a tool to be used by the Sith. If he gains her trust, he can easily get Anakin back under his control.
Or so he thinks. Ahsoka is no longer a youngling, worried about being expelled from the Order if she steps out of line. She does digging of her own. With Rex's help and Echo's information, she's able to uncover Order 66. Using her contacts in the Underworld, Ahsoka has an assassin take out the Chancellor. Bail Organa is temporarily put in power, and the Empire is destroyed before it's even begun.
Ahsoka becomes a full Knight within a year. She is Knighted at sunset, the reds and golds of Corusant's sky making the entire chamber glow. As she kneels before him, Anakin removes her Padawan braid, the one he's carried with him since that awful day the Jedi abandonded her, the one she wears to take her Trials. She rises as Ahsoka Tano-Skywalker, Jedi Knight of the New Republic. Obi-Wan and Yoda are teary-eyed, seeing their child born of innocence and raised in war come through strong and smiling. Padme is there too, so is Plo Koon. He's holding Leia, while she holds Luke. And a dozen or more members of the 501st, the 212th, and the Wolfpack that crowded in cheer her on. Their vod'ika finally achieving her dream.
With the Council's blessing (not that she gave them much choice), Ahsoka leaves for Naboo and establishes the New Dawn Jedi Temple. She takes in Force-sensitives that want to develop their abilities but not formally join the Jedi, and Jedi that don't subscribe to the traditionalist values of the Code. Jedi are welcome to marry, have children, leave and resume their service as they wish. Obi-Wan is eventually coerced into joining them, taking the role of Grand Master. Qui-Gon appears to him often, and never leaves without telling Obi-Wan he's proud of him.
Padme and Anakin are allowed to rest, without the pressures of being Queen or a Jedi General or a Senator. Anakin enjoys being a husband, a father, helping others as a volunteer mechanic. He stops having nightmares so much. Luke and Leia grow up learning from their big sister, from all of their "Uncles" in the GAR that move to Naboo or find their own paths across the galaxy.
Five years after Ahsoka's trial, she returns to Corusant to visit old friends. She stops by the Senate, the New Republic is the definition of transparent. The farthest reaches of the Outer Rim no longer feel ignored. While there, she formally petitions for Barriss Offee's release. The new judicial committee are hesitant, naturally, but Ahsoka insists that she will assume complete responsibility for her actions.
Luminara, battle-weary and uncertain, agrees to help Ahsoka. They take Barriss to Naboo, under strict supervision, and Barriss gets the help she needs, learning of what Ahsoka has done and how the Jedi were manipulated into needless destruction. Ahsoka and Barriss repair their relationship, slowly, taking tiny steps. Barriss dedicates herself to healing, and raising the younglings that are brought to the Dawn Temple.
Padme wakes up one morning, finding Anakin's side of the bed empty. She wanders out to the backyard. Sitting there, she finds her husband holding the twins (now 6) in his lap. They're still squirmy, trying to meditate like their Dad. Ahsoka sits next to them, holding one of his hands. Their bond fully open, they begin each day like this, immersed in the Force, in the love that has held their family together. Padme goes back inside to start breakfast. The sun continues to rise, a new day begins. Trouble still remains, as it always will in the galaxy, but for the first time in a long time- there is a new hope that stands uncorrupted.
