#fun.fic

[notnateruess]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wrote a fun. fic and it would really really mean a lot if u read it and told me how it was 

http://www.wattpad.com/story/14911753-it%27s-all-up-in-the-stars

[birdsboats-and-pastloves-blog]

Chapter 11 I Will Not Let You Go

Chapter 11

Over the next few weeks we spent a lot of time together. He would cook me breakfast with my almost never used pots and pans. Sometimes the whole gang would come over and we would have a big breakfast together or watch movies all morning.  Istarted to get really close to a lot of the band members, especially Emily.  Her and i would go shopping together, which was something i never usually did, or do fun things like go to the beach or to the movies. Christine started joining us too, and i was really surprised how well she hid her inner fan girl! It was almost the end of the summer and i would have to go back to teaching.

One morning i woke up at around 3 o'clock and i couldn't fall back asleep, so i brought my guitar out on the porch and started playing. The song i always played when i got anxious was Take Your Time (Coming Home). I was about halfway through the song when i noticed Emily walk out. I stopped playing immediately.

"Did i wake you?"

"No no, i couldn't sleep and i heard you playing so i figured i would join you.  You know if Nate heard you playing this he would just about die and go to heaven!" She said excitedley.

"Really?"

"Of course!  He's a suckered for musicians. Can I see your guitar?"

"Sure! " I handed it to her.  She started playing The Gambler,  singing the lyrics so beautifully.  I started to sing with her, making up harmonies as I sang.  After the song,  she smiled at me.

"Wow,  you know what you're doing.  Can you harmonize like that to any song?"

"Yes I can!  I've been working on that for years.  Let me see the guitar.  Name one of your songs, I'll play it and harmonize to you." She handed the guitar to me.

"Hmm, okay.  How about Stars?"

"Perfect." I began to play and I pulled some harmonies out of my ass as we sang.  I was actually quite proud of myself. Usually I pick the wrong harmony here and there, but I hit all the right notes this time. I heard clapping behind me, and I turned around to see Nate sitting in the doorway starting to light a cigarette.

"That was beautiful girls! " I blushed then, and thanked him shyly.

"Do you have any songs of your own?" Nate asked.

"As a matter of fact,  I do. "

"Maybe you could play them for us later when everyone is awake? "

"I would be happy to! "

"Great!  This will be so fun! " Emily exclaimed. Suddenly I got really nervous. What if they don't like my songs?

Everyone got up and Nate made breakfast. We had sleepovers like this a lot at my apartment. We would spread sleeping bags and blankets all over the floor in the living room and all of us would sleep in random places on our makeshift bed. Usually we would ignore the fact that I had a queen sized bed because sleeping together on the floor was way more fun.

After we all ate breakfast we all gathered in the living room. I tried to avoid performing my songs but Nate brought it up and everyone pressured me into singing for them. I sat on the coffee table and sang my song "I'm Fine" and after that I sang another one of my songs called "For You" which I wrote for the one friend I had other than Christine that passed away, and I started to cry after I finished the song. No one other than Christine knew about him. At first they all looked confused. I couldn't stop crying because I hadn't played that song very often. After a few minutes Nate slowly approached me and sat next to me. He put his hand on my back, confused. All of a sudden i buried my chest in his shoulder until I could control my crying.

Andrew got up and sat on the other side of me, "I take it that song was from personal experience."

I sniffled and lifted up my head,  "Yeah, " I sighed. He put his hand on my head and ruffled my hair.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jack asked me. It took me a minute to think about it, but I decided I needed to get it out. I told them all about it.

“There was a boy, his name was Daniel, and he was my best friend. Even before Christine. We had known each other since birth. I can’t explain our relationship really, it wasn’t like any friendship. We weren’t like brother and sister, OR boyfriend and girlfriend, we were simply eachothers other half. We couldn’t do anything without the other. It wasn’t romantic though, it was intimate and a different way. There was so much compassion, almost like the amount of love and care was the same as marriage, but  the kind of love we gave was more like brother and sister, if that makes sense. Ever since the day I was born he looked after me, and he protected me. We were so close that we would hold hands going places without even thinking anything of it. It was a friendship I will never find again. We both started going downhill with our emotions. We had both started developing depression, mine developing particularly faster. Eventually he began to slit his wrists like I had been doing all along, and the sight of his pain alone made me want to vomit. One night we were having a sleepover, and he went to bed early because he had a bad day. When I woke up he wasn’t there, and I found a note on my bed. I still remember the words exactly, ‘I couldn’t do it if you weren’t the last person I saw. I love you more than anything and I always will. If I didn’t have you I wouldn’t have made it this far, but this is where it ends and I can’t live any longer. It’s just my time. I’m sorry I did this while you were here, but I just couldn’t bare to leave on my own. Please don’t go in the bathroom. I love you.’ I remember falling onto the ground, sobbing. I didn’t want to believe he was gone, and for some reason I truly believed if I walked into the bathroom, he would still be there alive. But when I walked in I saw him hanging from the shower rod. He hung himself with my scarf, actually. I burned that scarf. I was very angry with him for a long time, and I think that’s part of the reason I have trust issues. I trusted him with my life, he knew everything there was to know about me. He always told me he would always be there for me, but he ended up leaving me forever, and that really made me mad for awhile. But now I live with it. I know he didn’t want to hurt me, and I eventually forgave him. Once I forgave him I wrote him that song, because he always asked me to write him a song, and since I’m a procrastinator, I never did it. When I lost my entire family, I still had him, and that was all I needed. I was okay with him being my life, and that he was, with him I felt like I had everything, even though we weren't romantic with each other, he was still the only family I had. One day I had everything, and the next day I have nothing. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him. Some days it’s the good memories, but other days it’s the image that is stained in my skull of him dead in the bathroom.” Everyone in the room was silent, all eyes glued on my face. Nate slid his hand into mine, and then gave me a huge hug. Soon after that everyone in the room was hugging me at once, “Guys, you know, it feels great to be loved again. I finally feel like I am in a place where I belong, like I have some sort of family. Ever since Daniel died, I have felt out of place every second of my life, and when I am with you guys, I feel like the last puzzle piece to a puzzle being placed. I love you all.” I was showered with hugs and kisses from everyone. We ended up having a huge jam session, and I showed off my harmonizing skills. When we finished, we all plopped on the couches.

    “What am I going to do when you guys go back on tour?” I asked getting sad.

“Well won’t you be teaching?” Andrew asked.

“Well yes, but haven’t I made it clear that I love you all? Maybe I could take my vacation times to see you guys!” I hated thinking about them going back on tour, but I had to face it some time! Nattie jumped up.

    “Why don’t you just come with us?! You can take a year off as a teacher for whatever reasons? We have plenty of room!”

    “Well that’s up to all of you…” I said nervously. Everyone unanimously agreed that it would be a great idea, but there were lots of details to go over.

“This is one of the best ideas you’ve ever come up with, Nattie.” Nate said so enthusiastically, staring at me with a huge smile, “Oh my god! Steph, you could open for us, or you could perform with us!” Nate started lunging at me, scooping me up in a huge hug.

Yeah this could work. 

[birdsboats-and-pastloves-blog]

I Will Not Let You Go Chapter 10

He opened the door with his pinkie, and still holding me in his arms, he just stood there with the door shut behind him. He began to sing the same part of The Gambler as he had before, and then he stopped.

“Do you like when I sing to you Stephanie?”

“Nate I love it more than anything.” He smiled at me and then walked over to the kitchen, still carrying me. He sat me down on the counter and leaned into me. He pressed his forehead against mine, and then a smile grew on his face. It was the same smile that I could’ve fainted over the first time I saw Fun. play, and the same smile that gave me motivation to push myself in the hospital, and now that smile was an inch away and I craved it so badly. I leaned my forehead harder into his and sunk into him, our lips fitting together perfectly. He picked me up, this time holding me by my bottom and he carried me into the living room. He dropped me onto the couch and climbed on top of me, continuing to kiss me. He sat up and pulled off his shirt, and then continued to remove both of our clothes. You can imagine what happened next.

I peaked out from under the covers to see Nate sitting up on the couch with my legs on his lap. I couldn’t tell whether he was asleep or not because he had his head on my knees and was facing the other way. I just watched him for a few minutes, but then I sat up and wrapped my arms around his belly and leaned on his shoulder. He flipped his head around and looked at me. He smiled, and of course I melted. This time he showed his teeth, something I only saw when he was laughing. He started to blush, and it was the sweetest thing. He lifted up his head and leaned it on mine.

“Are you tired?” I asked.

“Not at all.” he said.

“Me either.” He wrapped his arms around me.

“How about we go make some milkshakes and watch t.v.?”

“That sounds perfect!” I jumped up and pulled him up. I jumped on his back and piggy backed to the kitchen. He set me down on the counter and danced around the counter to the cabinet. He made us both milkshakes, stopping every few minutes to give me a kiss. He smiled the whole time. I had never seen him smile for that long. He had a beautiful smile. He handed me both milkshakes.

“Hold these tight.” He turned around and lifted me onto his back and walked back to the living room. We both cuddled up on the couch and turned on the t.v. sipping on our vanilla milkshakes.

    “What do you want to watch?” Nate asked, flipping through the channels.

    “I think I have a better idea,” I said standing up. I walked over to his record player and looked through the records he had. I picked out Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison and started to play it. I turned around and danced toward Nate. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up, wrapping my arms around his neck, we danced around the living room.

    “I have a better song,” he said going to change the song.

    “This is Moondance,” I said starting to dancing around. He pulled me into him, leading me around the room.

    He started singing the song to me, and then he dipped me while singing, “And every time I touch you, you just tremble inside. And I know how much you want me that you can't hide.” He pulled me back up, and then quickly grabbed me closer, our noses touching, “Can I just have one a' more Moondance with you, my love. Can I just make some more romance with a-you, my love.”

    “Oh you’re smooth,” I said laughing. He kissed me soft while he continued leading us around the room.

    “One more dance?” He asked after the song was over. I smiled and ran over to the record player. He pointed to Someone Like You, by Van Morrison once again. He started singing, “I've been searching a long time for someone exactly like you. I've been travelling all around the world, waiting for you to come through. Someone like you makes it all worth while. Someone like you keeps me satisfied. Someone exactly like you.” I stopped dancing and looked at him.

    “I really like you, Nate” I said, and I kissed him before he could respond. He lead me to his room and we made out for awhile on his bed, but then we just layed together. He kept dozing off for seconds at a time, but he was fighting sleep because he knew I wasn’t tired. I felt bad, so I pretended to fall asleep so that he would. I felt him pull the cover over me and kiss my forehead before wrapping his arms around me and falling asleep. It felt really nice to be laying with him. He was warm, and safe, and that’s all I ever wanted. It kind of ruined the moment when he started to snore, but I thought it was cute.

    Eventually I got tired, and I fell asleep next to the guy I was in love with.

[birdsboats-and-pastloves-blog]

I finally got google docs to work so I'm gonna post chapter 10 today :)

[birdsboats-and-pastloves-blog]

I Will Not Let You Go Chapter 9

I was so nervous to be meeting the bandmates, I could feel myself starting to sweat, so I opened the window. I couldn’t help but try to plan my introduction… ‘Hi I’m Stephanie and I’m a huge fan.’ hmm… no, no fangirling! ‘Hi, I’m Stephanie! Nice to meet you!’ Okay, that’s getting better. I figured I would just wing it because thinking about it made me even more nervous. I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes.

*                                                       *                                                  *

“Steph, wake up!” I heard Nate say, nudging me, “Damn, you fall asleep a lot.”

“Sorry,” I smiled, “I’m tired after last night,” I said with a wink.

“Fair enough, let’s go, we’re here.”

“Do I look okay?”

“Of course you do. Even with all your cuts and bruises, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” I could feel my face heat up as I blushed.

“Awh, thank you Nate!” He got out of the car and I followed him to an apartment building, but this one was far nicer than mine, it even had an elevator!

“Woah, this is the coolest apartment place I’ve ever seen! Do you live here?”

“Well yeah, we all have an apartment here. Emily has her own, Jack and Andrew share one, and Nattie and Noon share one. I used to share with Jack and Andrew, but I started renting my own, mostly because it was easier to write when I was alone, and in that apartment I was never alone.”

“Oh my god, I can’t wait to see! If it’s half as beautiful as this lobby I’ll be impressed. This makes my apartment building look like a dump.” I was in awe. Nate just laughed and continued to walk to the elevator. When we got to the top floor, to my surprise, Nate took my hand and laced his fingers with mine. I looked up at him and smiled, and he smiled back, and it was the happiest feeling. We didn’t walk far until we found Andrew and Jacks apartment, Nate didn’t knock though, he just walked in.

“Nate, finally!” shouted Jack. I stood at the doorway frozen. I forgot how to move let alone introduce myself. All of them were there… Emily, Nattie, Will, Andrew, and Jack. I felt dizzy, and Nate noticed, so he winged it.

“Hey guys, this is Stephanie!”

“She looks a lot better than she did when we saw her,” joked Andrew. I didn’t find it funny, but I knew he was just trying to be friendly, so I laughed nervously.

“Yeah, I’m feeling so much better now,” Did I just talk?

“Come sit!” Emily patted an empty seat next to her. I shuffled over to her and sat down uncomfortably, and Nate went into the kitchen, “So you know our band well?” Emily asked. Oh god.

“Know? Oh god, I live for your band! Fun. is my all time favorite band, I’m so glad to be sitting here with you all!” Okay, stop fangirling now, be normal. Be normal.

“Wow, a real hardcore fan!” Jack blurted out, “Let’s play a game.”

“A game?” I was confused.

“Like a guessing game, I’ll start to sing a part of one of our songs and you name the song.”

“Oh alright, easy. Try me.” I knew I’d nail this. Andrew started to sing,

“Let your lungs fill up with smoke! Forgive everyo-”

“Take your time coming home!” Then Emily started to sing,

“I don’t need to be reminded that this is how it was, I moved on, I passed a-”

“Barlights!”

“She’s good,” Noon said, he seemed stoned, then he started singing, kind of slurred, “Just spend an evening with me, just a lazy evening, then you could be leaving-”

“Light A Roman Candle With Me!” Everyone started laughing out how fast I knew the names. Then behind me I felt a touch, and then a voice began to sing.

“I swear when I grow up, I won't just buy you a rose,” Nate walked around to the front of me, and just looked at me,  “I will buy the flower shop, and you will never be lonely-”

“The Gambler!” But Nate didn’t stop, he sat next to me and kept looking at me,

 “For even if the sun stops waking up over the fields, I will not leave, I will not leave 'til it's our time. So just take my hand, you know that I will never leave your side” The whole room went silent, and Nate just continued to stare at me, and then he finally cracked a smile and grabbed my hand. I could feel my heart overflow with butterflies and fly away, but Nate changed subjects fast, “So should we all watch a movie or what?”

“Hell yeah,” Emily agreed, and everyone else followed with “yea”s and “mhm”s. They let me pick out the movie since I was the “guest” although I didn’t feel like a guest, I felt completely at home. Something I’ve never felt, not even at my own home. I picked out a horror film, because everyone here seemed to be into it, and I LOVE horror films. We all got real close on the two sofas they had in the apartment. I was on the end, and Nate was near the middle, but that didn’t last long. He got up, picked me up, and sat me next to him in the middle and told everyone to scootch down, and it was adorable. Nattie seemed to be the most scared throughout the movie out of all of us. Scary movies didn’t scare me, but I really didn’t like the gross parts, so when I few gory parts would come, I would hide my face in Nates chest, but otherwise, the movie was great.

After the movie, Nattie and Noon went back to their apartment, so for awhile it was Jack, Andrew, Nate, Emily, and I. Emily took to me very quickly, she was very sweet and kind. She was really touchy and huggy, and it was a nice, I felt so welcomed. We had talked for hours, and then at dinner we all ordered a pizza, and then talked for another few hours! It was so easy to talk to all of them, we just all shared stories and experiences, and it felt good to have people I trusted. Eventually we realized that it was about midnight, so we left. Once we were in the hall Nate looked down at me, “Do you want me to bring you home now?”

“Not at all,” I smiled. He picked me up and carried me to his apartment.

----------------

oooooo what's going to happen??? please leave me feedback!

[birdsboats-and-pastloves-blog]

when you find a good fun.fic that is long, and complete it's like hitting the jackpot

[birdsboats-and-pastloves-blog]

I Will Not Let You Go CHAPTER 4, sorry 4 is after 5, I forgot to post it, oops!

I woke up in so much pain that I let out a scream, and Nate jumped up immediately.

“What?! What’s wrong?”

I looked down, and there was blood everywhere. All over me, and all over the bed. Nate looked horrified, and I’m guessing I had a similar look on my face.

“Jesus! How did this happen?!” He yelled. He was panicking and running to the bathroom to get paper towels.

“I don’t know! I woke up like this!”

“You must have touched or something in your sleep,” Nate calmed down a bit, but I was still in panic mode. Nate reached over me and pulled the emergency cord.

“It’ll be okay, it looks like it stopped bleeding.” Nate brushed his hand on my forehead. Two nurses came running in.

“What’s the matter?”

“I woke up to all this blood…”

“Okay let’s take a look.” She lifted up my shirt and looked at my wound, “Okay it looks like you scratched it in your sleep. It’s starting to scab, so it’s going to be itchy.” She cleaned it up, and put my shirt back down. The other nurse started taking everything off my bed, besides the sheets since I’m laying on them.

“Okay we’re going to have to get you off of the bed long enough for us to change the sheets. Carla, will you go grab a new pair of sheets from the closet?” She came over to me and put her hand on the bed, “We’re going to have to help you up, then I’m going to have you stand up, and Nate’s going to have to hold you up. You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s do it…”

“Okay, sit up, and hold on to me,” I did as she said, “Now on the count of 3 I’m going to help you stand up, ready?”

“Yup.”

“1...2...3,” She practically lifted me up, “Okay now I want you to stand on Nate’s feet and lean on him, because if you sit down again it’s going to be hard to get you up again,” I did as she said, and I buried my face into Nates chest because of all the pain. The nurses quickly took off the sheets. Nate put his arms around me and rubbed up and down my back.

“You okay?” He whispered to me.

“It hurts so bad to stand.”

“It’s okay, they’re almost done, Steph.” He pulled me in closer to him and wrapped both arms tightly around me. I’ve never felt so warm.

“Okay Stephanie, let’s get you back into bed. Sit down carefully, then you can just lay yourself down.” The nurses patted on the bed. I sat down on it as slowly as possible, because now the pain was so raw and extreme, I couldn’t do much of anything. “I’m going to have you wear these gloves to sleep so that you can’t scratch yourself in your sleep,” the nurse handed me a pair of gloves...Oh great. The nurse instructed me to try to get some sleep, then she left.

“Are you going to be okay?” Nate said worriedly

“I-I don’t know,” I was in so much pain, “It hurts so bad.”

“Would you like me to sleep up there with you?”

“Sure, that would be nice,” I said shyly. He climbed in next to me, and I scooched over so he had room. He moved to his side, facing me, and looked me in the eyes.

“It’ll get better, I promise. This pain won’t be forever.”

“What’s going to happen after this? Will we still be friends?”

“I don’t know,” my heart dropped when he said that, “I was thinking of something a little different”

“What do you mean?” I was so confused. I’m obviously no good with men…

“Well… Steph, I don’t know. It’s crazy. I think you’re so perfect in every single way. You make me so fucking happy, and I’ve only been with you for a couple days. I’ve never met anyone like you. It seems like we have so much in common, and I want to learn even more about you. I don’t know how we’re going to do it, or if you even want to, but I hope you are willing to make this work with me.”

“R-r-really? You mean… out of everyone you could have… You want me? You like me? Nate I couldn’t have asked for anything more than that. You saved my life without even knowing it, and now you want to be a part of it. I would love to make this work with you Nate… You have no idea.” He smiled at me, and took my hand up to his face and kissed it. I couldn’t even imagine how badly I was blushing. Nate was so gorgeous, and perfect. I was amazed that he could ever want someone like me. I felt so close to him so quickly, and it was one of the best feelings I’ve felt in so long.

“Let’s go to sleep, Steph. We’ll see what’s ahead for us when we get there. For now, let’s get you better.” He held my hand in his, and we drifted off to sleep.

[sight-of-thesun]

Can't You See, I'm Losing My Mind Chapter 12

Yeah Chapter 12! This is really the last filer chapter before all the intense stuff happens! I hope you like it and feedback is appreciated!!

Chapter 12

“I think she’s coming too.”

I groaned.  My head felt heavy when I tried to lift it up. 

“Rayne, keep your head down in between your knees.”  The voice sounded like Jack. 

I felt a hand on the back of my head slowly pushing it back down.  I opened my eyes and blinked a couple of times.

“What happened?” I asked.

“You passed out Rayne.  How are you feeling?” That was Nate. 

“Well that’s normal,” Jack said.  “Do you feel nauseous or dizzy?”

“No,” I said.  “No my head just hurts.”

“Do you want to try sitting up?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled. 

I slowly moved my head up and straighten out my shoulders.  Pain hit my head and I winced.  I blinked my eyes a couple of times and my vision came back.   Andrew was sitting in front of holding a wet cloth.  Nate was on my left, one hand was on my arm and the other was on my back.  Jack was on my right looking at my reaction closely. 

“Are you ok Rayne?” Nate asked me. 

“Yeah I’m feeling ok,” I brought my hand up to my forehead.  “I think I scared myself that I passed out.”

“Well, do you want to try to stand up? We can lay you back down in your bunk,” Andrew offered. 

I nodded ever so slightly.  Jack and Nate each took one of my arms and slowly lifted me off the ground.  Blackness faded in and out quickly and my head started throbbing. 

“Are you doing ok?” Nate asked. 

Again I slightly nodded.  Nate and Jack held onto me as we slowly walked back to my bed.  I slowly sat on my bed before I laid my body down.  I felt a little better lying down. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Jack asked.  “Yeah can I get some water?”

Jack left the room.  Nate sat down on the edge of my bed and put his hand on my leg. Andrew leaned over me and put the damp towel on my forehead.  The towel was cool for a minute but then it got warm after a few seconds.  I took it off and handed it back to Andrew, “This is warm.”

Jack returned with a glass of water.  “Thanks,” I mumbled.  I took a sip from the glass.  The water felt good on my throat.  Jack took the glass when I was done.

“What time is it?” I asked looking over at Nate.

“It’s almost midnight,” Nate said.  “You slept for about a hour before you started screaming.”

“I think I’m going to try to go back to sleep,” I said.

“Rayne, I want to take you to a doctor when we get to Texas,” Nate said. 

“I hate the doctor,” I said.

“I know, but I would really like to talk to someone.”

“Can we see how I feel when we get there?” I asked.  “I’m really tired.”

Nate agreed but didn’t look too happy about it.  Jack and Andrew said good night and went back out to the living area.  Nate stayed with me for a while.

“Just try to sleep and we will worry about the doctor tomorrow, ok?” he whispered. I nodded and closed my eyes.  My head throbbed as I lay there.  Nate slowly rubbed my back and I eventually fell back to sleep.

 ------------------------------

My head was pounding when I woke up the following morning.  I put my hands over my eyes and pushed.  The pressure helped a little bit but not that much.

‘Damn it’ I thought. ‘Nate is going to make me go to the doctor.’

As if on cue, Nate walks in and sits on my bed.  “Hey Rayne.  How are you feeling this morning?”

“Like my head was run over by an 18 wheeler,” I said. 

Nate gave a small laugh.  “So can I take you to the doctors?”

“I guess so,” I sighed. 

Nate smiled.  “I just want to make sure that everything is ok.”

“I know and I appreciate your concern.”

He leaned over and gave me a little kiss.  “We’ll be in Texas in about 2 hours.  I’ll start looking for a doctor that we can see.  You just rest ok?”

I nodded and closed my eyes again. 

 ---------------

Nate got me an appointment with Dr. Kenneth Ross.  Nate and I walked in to the office, “Hi,” he said.  “Rayne has an appointment with Dr. Ross.”

“Ok just have a seat the doctor will be with you in moment,” the receptionist said. 

We sat down.  My leg was shaking like crazy and I was biting my nails.  “Chill out Rayne.  Everything is going to me fine,” Nate said. 

“I know.  I’m just so scared that it’s something serious,” I said. 

“Rayne Conners?”

Nate and I got up.  “Follow me,” the nurse said.  We followed her down the hall into a small room.  The nurse took my temperature, blood pressure and pulse.  “Ok, everything is normal.  I will give your chart to Dr. Ross and he will be in soon.”

Nate and I were left alone again.  “You doing ok?” he asked. 

“Yeah.  I’m ok now.” I smiled.  Nate is such a sweetie; he took the time out of his day to come the doctors with me. 

Dr. Ross came in after a minute.  “So Rayne.  What is the problem today?”

“Well I have really bad anxiety and lately I have been getting his headaches and having panic attacks.”

“She also fainted last night after an attack,” Nate added. 

“Well the fainting can sometimes be normal.  After your body goes into shock it is normal for it to faint.  It’s like hitting the restart button. Do you take any anti-anxiety medication?”

“Yeah, I take BuSpar 25 mg,” I said. 

“Ok well it seems that these headaches are mainly caused by your anxiety.  The travels that you said are on may be the cause, but we won’t know what is exactly causing your anxiety spike now.  I am going to give you a prescription for Xanax.  This is another type of anti-anxiety but it works in a different way.  You take this when you are having a panic attack and it will calm you down.  You will most likely fall asleep so after you take one don’t drive.  Just sit and relax.  I am also going to give you a prescription for pain.  It is a small amount.  I’ll give you one now and you take it when needed.” The doctor handed me the prescriptions.   “I hope you feel better.  And enjoy your travels.”

Nate and I walked out and went to the closest CVS to fill the prescriptions.  The pain medicine the doctor gave me at the office was helping a bit and I was feeling a lot better. 

“Rayne Conners?” the pharmacist called. 

I got up to take my medicine. “Thank you,” I said. 

The woman looked up.  She winked at me and blew me a small kiss, “Your welcome Sweetie,” Mary said.  “I advise you NOT to take this medication.  It will control you.”