#funaria sims

[swampsim]

Funaria Decades - 1890

The Petting Farm continued to grow, and now these hard working animals are pulling in at least 1000 Simoleons every day for their family. The babies even have cribs now. If it wasn't for the animal exploitation on this farm, the kids might be dead by now who knows.

Eliza Pancakes is still our best customer, still shows up when the farm opens and stays ALL DAY. She set her LITTLE BABY IN THE MELTING SNOW, FOR HOURS. I felt bad and had to mccc her into a warmer outfit. When Eliza finally noticed her baby crying in the damn snow, she just kinda...

flipped 'er right on over.

Alma ended up asking to be introduced to little Sandy Pancakes, so she could pick her up and take care of her while Eliza gets her fix outside. For three days now, Alma has had a fourth baby to take care of all day long. It's great.

[swampsim]

Funaria Decades - 1890s

The petting farm business is growing, although slowly, so once Amos and Agnes aged up, the family is now Babies Sleeping on the Floor Poor.

I was also Today-years-old when I learned that if a baby is being held when it has a blowout, it just shits all over whoever is holding it? Awesome.

And even though the petting farm is STILL designated as a SHOP, the farm stand itself never, ever sells anything. Nothing. Their entire income is ticket sales, and it is a shop.

Michael Bell did definitely bring his stupid smelly baby, to pee on the floor right in front of it, which definitely helps.

If you decide to go the Petting Farm route, just know to harvest your stuff every morning before you open. Because they will just STEAL ALL OF YOUR EGGS.

Lettie also aged up, and also smells like crap. And these kids bathe. I don't get it, did they make sims more disgusting? It's all farts and pee puddles.

[swampsim]

Funaria Decades - 1890

Well, somehow, a crazy man let himself into the cabin. Luckily, no one was harmed, but what??

Alma gave birth for the second time, giving us NATURAL TWINS because this game hates me. Introducing Agnes and Amos!

But things are getting CRAMPED. The farm stand makes almost no money, so we haven't been able to expand at all. Something gotta change. And then a stroke of genius.

WELCOME, to the Funaria Petting Farm! For just 24 Simoleons a pop, the townspeople can now clean, feed, and generally care for the animals here on the farm, a scheme that would take rural America another 100 years to think up. The farm stand is still there, too, not that anybody cares.

Some people like it more than others. Eliza Pancakes typically likes to show up when we open, and not leave until we close. Our first day saw 13 paying customers, and we're on our way to making room for all these stupid kids.

[swampsim]

Funaria Decades - 1890

Alma soon found herself very pregnant, which cut into some of her constant canning time, and caused a few floor peeing episodes due to their outhouse occasionally forgetting that it is an outhouse.

And while Alma was growing a baby, Henry was working hard to slowly expand the product inventory on their farm stand. Still, they do almost NO business, with Bella Goth and Landgrab stopping by to stink and pee all over the ground, but purchase nothing.

And along came their first child, a girl named Lettice, which is a TOTALLY REAL NAME that I found on this baby name website, so while it's super hilarious to me, it's also historically accurate!

SEE????