My father was a wise man
Imparted some advice
Said 'Don't take stuff for granted'
to which I obeyed precice
But now I'm in a quandry
I think I'm doin' it wrong
cuz' when I count my blessings
It takes me far too long
[Chorus]
I've got a roof on my head
I got shoes on my feet
I've got a voice unto make song
I've got something to eat
I've got clothes for my back
And a hat for my head
And the best thing of all:
I'm not yet dead
I've got a fan for the heat
I've got fire for the cold
I've got all my limbs
I'm not that old
I've got a clothes for my back
And a hat for my head
And the best thing of all:
I'm not yet dead
One day I got my first job
laying bricks down 9' to 5'
Building up a building
I'd never see inside
And tho I got some others
My jobs were no more nice
Making things for cheaper
than their asking price
[Chorus]
My father also told me
He said, 'Before you go
there's one thing that I'll tell ya
I've discovered that is so
When you meet a rich man
in silk from head to end
Be kind to his face son
But don't ever be a friend
(One more time!)
I've got a roof on my head
I've got shoes on my feet
I've got a voice to make song
I've got something to eat
I've got a fan for the heat
And a fire for the cold
I've got all my limbs
And I'm not that old
I've got a clothes for my back
And a hat for my head
And the best thing of all:
I'm not yet dead
If you want more for you and your friends
You've gotta take it back, in the end
I will discuss the current state of social media and give them a rating on the UDICK scale.
Rank 1 is Usable. It should be a hint that the highest rank on this list is "Usable" and not "Good." Usable web sites are good for promotion, networking, and just hanging out.
Rank 2 is Dubious. It denotes a site that has use but has made certain anti-user choices but remains worth using.
Rank 3 is Ignoble. This rank is awarded to sites that are either not worth using or necessary evils.
Rank 4 is Contemptible. This rank represents a web site that makes its users worse.
Rank 5 is Kill Everyone Involved. This rank is awarded to the social media sites which are at a fundamental level, corrupting and eroding the very ties that bind the human species. Emblems of atomization.
These ratings are subjective and probably wrong. I'm sure I was too fair to many of these sites.
Twitter / X
Rating: K
Elon Musk has personally made my life worse in several critical ways. First, he has immiserated those in my personal life who relied on the programs he gutted in the murderous DOGE campaign. Second, he has contributed to defense programs that have increased surveillance and capability of prejudice against queer people. Third, he is one of the most distasteful, irritating, and loathsome individual people on the planet.
I am not exaggerating: If you use Twitter, you are giving Elon Musk money. Every time you see an ad for some esoteric sex toy or women's bikini you are putting money into his pocket. Not metaphorically, not hypothetically, literally.
Every time you open the web site, I want you to picture Elon Musk smiling and thanking you by name.
BSky
Rating: D
If Twitter is embodiment of the republican party, then BSky is not quite the modern Democrat party, but more like a smug self-righteous DSA member who has a rose in their bio. BSky is a supremely unserious website, from their refusal to moderate anything properly to the proliferation of bots.
Even so, the userbase regularly bullies brand accounts which is of great value.
Tumblr
Rating: C
Right now, Tumblr is changing things for the worse. At least they're not implementing AI to do it, I guess. Most of the issues on Tumblr have to do with how the site leadership is almost entirely on the side of anti-trans harassment campaigns and obliterates any critics. The war zone of deactivated accounts and the healthy, sprawling environment for TERFs and Kiwifarmers is truly horrible.
Made all the more tragic by the fact that it remains the most usable site of them all. But don't worry! Tumblr Staff is going to fix that issue very soon.
YouTube
Rating: U
You can report bigots and I make money there. I am fully biased so I'm not going to say much more.
Instagram
Rating: C
I don't use Instagram, but every time I see a screenshot from the site it is of two main genres: Celebrity Worship and Phobia. Sometimes both! Worthless.
For some reason, a lot of artists use Instagram, and I'm sure there is some value in it, but that value is eclipsed by the legions of screeching banshees looking for anything in your posts to make fun of.
Facebook
Rating: K
I haven't used Facebook in ten years and I think Mark Zuckerberg is marginally less evil than Elon Musk in terms of raw harm and body count, but Facebook has been evil for much longer than Twitter.
Facebook is the home of "your family members having political arguments" and "everybody trying to self promote." Facebook is great for ghouls who want to monetize their social lives.
Discord
Rating: I
You motherfuckers. You jesters. You fucking clown assholes. You made me switch from Skype to Discord. Why? Why did we all one day decide to start using fucking Discord? It was FINE before! It was FINE! Now people are bitching that Discord is trying to implement AI shit and ID requirements.
I could have told you they were evil when they were trying to push loot boxes and advertisements IN A FUCKING CHAT CLIENT!!!
IRC was fine. There was nothing wrong with IRC. The sooner we get back to IRC the better.
TikTok
Rating: I
TikTok has a lot of advocates who have decent algorithms and are not shown the cavalcade of violence and hatred on the site, but it shouldn't be understated:
TikTok is the poster child, the patient zero, the universal common ancestor for everything predatory and irritating about modern social media. YouTube shorts, Instagram reels, "For You" pages, and of course predatory algorithms that keep you on the site.
TikTok is the closest thing we have to a real-life version of a sci-fi hypnosis mind control machine. If the guys who did MK Ultra knew about TikTok, they'd get bricked up so hard you could chop green onions on their cocks.
Reddit
Rating: I
Reddit, like many of the sites listed here, is home to some of the most shockingly stupid sectarian racists alive. However, unlike the other sites, these fuckheads are usually sequestered into their own festering communities where they don't have to bother people who just want to see what's going on in r/aww.
It's frustrating. Reddit is one of the sweatiest, most reactionary, least pleasant web sites to use, but it has resisted enshittification so far in a way that makes it usable in a variety of niche cases.
Put up the blinkers and stick to r/YouTubeHaiku and r/NotTimAndEric and keep your head down.
Threads
Rating: ?
I've never used it. No one has ever used it. Everyone who says they use it are hedging their bets that another social media site will go belly up.
grimy alchemist staff dipped in obsidian
hooded in a realm where the winds will talk to him
chant glyph scripts flick wrist mist twist
poppin off spells like a cursed ventriloquist
pentagrams lit lanterns drip with goat blood
enemy approach watch the sky choke with smoke mud
speak in dead tongues his fate sealed seamless
turn a warlord to a whisperfade to dreamdust
metal face mage in a cave full of sages
scrolls in the ribcage flames on the pages
wrote his own death in a cursed font bold
runes fold reality like laundry: cold
ash to ether flash then a seizure
you dont want war with a masked spellsqueezer
words twist fate make the stars get eager
poof! gone! nothing left but a sneaker
yo cloak drag dirt like a snake with a grudge
hands glow blue when the ley lines budge
he asked for a duelnow he trapped in a prism
voice echo once then fade to nonexistence
clash with a mystic end up statistics
turn a whole squad to a fog thats sadistic
mutter one hex and the bones start clickin
flesh melt slow like a plot thats thickened
cracked open grimoires bound in skin tones
pages made of nightmares stitched in cyclone
he tried flexin i blessed him with lessons
now his names just a myth in a monks confession
ash to ether flash then a seizure
you dont want beef with a masked spellweaver
smoke in the shape of a phoenix cleaner
poof gone nothing left but a femur
