#funnel-web

[fantabulousfunnelweb]

[genetrap]

guard

[fantabulousfunnelweb]

Amazing Funnel-Web Art by @DragonWren on The Spiders Web Discord as a Birthday Gift, huge props to her great art skills! 

[fantabulousfunnelweb]

27. denim jackets, leather jackets, or bomber jackets?

Oohohhoh! Now this is a question!

Well, When you’re the type of plucky, Anti-Eatablishment Neo-Noir Mutant Spider-Hero that I am, you learn to appreciate a good jacket, a fine set on your shoulders is enough to command respect, or evoke fear at a glance. Hell, Mayday allows me to keep my own closet of jackets up in her Brownstone Attic that we use as Headqaurters

Now, There’s no best Jacket, so long as it ain’t an eyesore & it helps you feel comfortable. But if you’d like, I’d give my own opinions in a more... categorical manner.

Denim Jackets

Denim is sturdy, can take a beating, don’t be afraid to take one into a fight.

Metallic Buttons are reliable, but don’t do you much good with Metal Detectors (Learnt the hard way trying to sneak into Baintronics once)

Stains are a little tough to remove (Especially Blood, and Paprika.)

Still pretty flexible despite its toughness, effective emergancy bandage for bleeding wounds.

Not the most weather-versatile, preferably worn during brisk evenings or early mornings.

Leather Jackets

Deliv’s & X-G’s wear this stuff for a reason, super sturdy and prevents a ton of possible scrapes and abrasions.

Comes in two forms of colours: ‘Somewhat Practical’ and ‘Eyesore’, pick your colours carefully.

Not as flexible as Denim, heavy too.

VERY easy to stink up, wash jacket linings often.

NEVER wear it when breaking into a Sauna to interrogate a Stock Broker about dodgy Market Shares, would’ve passed out if I stewed in that steam room for any longer.

Bomber Jackets

Perfect casual-wear, wear it on short patrols or in your Civvies.

Sturdy as Paper compared to Leather & Denim Jackets, protective material underneath is advised.

Not the most practical in terms of use in Combat, but if you need to absolutely STYLE the scene and make everyone think for at least a second you aren’t a hobo, then by all means, wear it.

Still makes for serviceable first-aid bandage replacement.

Wash WASH WASH (At least once a week)

That’s all my specific advice for now, hope it does something for you!

P.S: Do NOT under ANY circumstance give your jacket to anyone in the Black Cat gang I do not care if she’s cute you won’t see that thing again for the rest of your life.

[fantabulousfunnelweb]

People do nice things all the time & are pronounced ‘Good Samaritans’ or ‘Upstanding Citizens’ but when I do something good I ‘need to put my hands in the air’ and ‘Get my hands off that Old Lady’ smh

[fantabulousfunnelweb]

Is there a limited amount of webbing you can produce at a time before, I dunno, you run out of protein or your spinnerets get tired or something?

Good Question! Me & Mayday tested this question out pretty quickly after we decided to create the Funnel-Web. I’ve got nothing better to do on this stakeout outside one of Baintronics warehouses, so I’ll recall what I can for you. (until Machine Man arrives that is).

So after our Spidey-senses tipped us both off to one another, talked, all that stuff. She dragged me out later that night to Central Park, told me to show her what I know about these powers’o’mine. Gave her all I could show her; dented a street lamp with my hands, backflipped 4 feet over a bench, y’know, the usual. But my Spinnerets definitely peaked her interest, she was grabbing my arms & staring down those wrists like it was talking to her nearly the whole night.

I woke up the next morning on Mays couch to a set of fresh clothes & a protein bar in my face, apparently I was being dragged out to some early morning examination before work. The first of many...

She drove me out to this weird abandoned mechanics shop in Hells Kitchen, told me to spin those Spinnerets dry if I could. So with a flex of my arm I began webbing every inch of that old warehouse from top to bottom. The results were... a little disturbing, May said my natural webbing capacity was about 3 times that of a singular, mechanical webshooter, the webbing itself wasn’t all too different from the synthetic web-fluid, if not a lot more high in protein.

Sorry, I’ve gone on way too long, to put it all simply. It’s a bit of a yes for both, my Spinnerets can go numb or otherwise fatigued from rapid-use, so I can’t really do anything too crazy if I wanted to. As for protein, proteins pretty much become a big part of my diet, protein bars, protein shakes, meats. Mayday managed to slip it under the radar as a dietary requirement due to biological problems. (which is a half-truth come to think of it...) So as long as I watch how ‘em & stick to my diet, they’re never empty when I need them.

Gotta go. Machine Mans arrived & I gotta stop him before he rally’s the robots working for Baintronics and starts another riot, Hope I answered your question!

[fantabulousfunnelweb]

“VIBE CHECK”

- Me, clutching the head of a bank robber and slamming it against a lamppost, virtually cracking his skull in the process.