Recommend some MinaKushi fics? :) you should host a MinaKushi week btw.
Oh god, would you believe me if I told you that I don't remember having read one? 🤣
I'm not a big fan of romance, and while I like the fanarts, the fanfics... nope xD. That being said, some of the fics I read have Minakushi as a background ship, but I can't remember right now. Sorry friend, I just don't read a lot of fanfics 😅
Oh wait, I just remembered! A nice anon recommended me this fic a few weeks ago: "Second Chances" by enzhe. It features Minato and Kushina and is a modern AU. I haven't read it yet, so I can't tell you anything else.
Maybe some of my followers/mutuals have some Minakushi fic recs? Any cool fics out there guys??
About the MinaKushi week, it sounds pretty cool! But I don't know if I'd be able to host that on my own (it sounds like it's a lot of work!) or if people would be interested. What do you say guys? Would any of you like to participate?? Please let me know!!
Thanks for the ask!! Let's see if we can get some nice Minakushi fic recs in the comments!
I read some stories. The ones Koko shared and the link you sent :) and I thought about your Minato. Is he insane or a genius?
Excellent question! [I was hoping someone would bring it up somewhere] You've unknowingly touched a topic I'm very passionate about, @furrymakerkid. Prepare thy browser.
Also note: This is an interpretation based around my headcanons and readings [although I’ll keep the Yamanaka out of it]. Yours may differ and that’s okay - to each their own.
In a word? Minato is insane.
Add in a few more? Minato was a genius who frequented the realm of insanity because he had never experienced failure. So much so, that he thought he was untouchable. There was nothing be couldn't do; no one he couldn't beat. What are emotions? What is the importance of human life when it all boils down to who gets to sit at the Kami forsaken helm? It. Didn't. Matter. All that mattered was the fact that he knew he had the power and the intellect to get things done and he would see to it that he very well did.
I'm not going to go down an unreasonable character development route and state that he was born with these crazy ideologies. They were nurtured by the system; by his keen desire to learn, his innate curiosity, and an ego that was fed by every moron in Konoha who kept telling him that he was a genius borne once every decade. Konoha had enough geniuses! The Sanin, and the White Fang before that, and even in Hiruzen's generation. They didn't need more, but hey, when you need to push an agenda based on war and questionable trade, why not foster another?
Except this time, whatever gave birth to prior geniuses underestimated him. Minato was a conniving bastard and he knew it. He was cold, calculating and merciless. He had a flee-on-sight order at a young age; do you have any idea how many kills that would have taken to foster a reputation dangerous enough to warrant such a detail? He was the perfect soldier. He didn’t come from a special clan, neither did he have a kekkei genkai; his sanity depended on the fact that there was a will of fire he needed to protect but never believed in - not until much later, anyways.
So yes, Minato is insane; a title of genius wrapped around the raw potential of the sort of inhuman monster he knows he can be. He didn’t have time for emotions; rather, he didn’t need to consider them. His default setting ensured he could drift through social cues without needing to incur more; he was a strategist. The golden, sparkly image? Kami, no - he sees most people as variables. Everything is a freaking combination/formula to him. He didn’t have the luxury to treat them as fellow intellectuals unless he had reason to, otherwise.
So...what brings him back from the plane of insanity? The people [insert cringe here]. It sounds corny, I know - but read me out. I've had to read the manga multiple times, badger the few people I know [and love. Their patience is astounding] and have had to babble with fellow writers on Reddit.
Minato got lucky; he had Jiraiya for a sensei and that man wasn’t an idiot: he saw one genius go down the insane route and he wouldn't let another do the same. Similarly, Kushina becomes an emotional anchor, as well as the Genin team he was assigned and failed to protect. The guilt, coupled with an experience of such profound failure, haunts him till his second parting at the end of the Fourth Shinobi War.
Minato has flaws. It takes a lot of people's bloody sacrifices for him to be reminded of said flaws and heavens knows he hates it. He has faith in his own skills, can’t stomach the thought of depending on someone else. [this gets worse when he becomes Yondaime]
All of the above makes his psyche rather tricky to write; the insanity tends to pop up whenever jutsu or battle tact is concerned, yet it turns into a flapping penguin whenever emotions are involved. Only those who know him well are aware of this glaring weakness; heck, his batch mates and those he served in the various platoons over the wars only know him as the calm and composed, yet absolutely lethal Yellow Flash.
If I were to answer you bluntly; Minato is a restrained genius who knows the shades of insanity well. His genius teases it, invites it - but before both can truly ensnare each other, he gets pulled away and he has a hard time dealing with it.
Fun fact on Kushina: Ever noticed how, in the manga, Kushina tells Naruto that she fell in love with Minato when he rescued her? Here’s the thing - SHE fell in love. HE didn’t. It took a lot of shared experiences for that to happen, which is why my headcanons incorporate the best friend aspect more than the lover archetype. Their emotional connection to each other ties them together than any fleeting nuance of lust. I believe that when he says she made him a man, a Hokage and a father, he meant that she taught him to cherish others and to truly believe in the will of fire. The motif of the red thread of fate and all? It is important.
Fun fact on his Genin team: According to my headcanons, he is hesitant with regards to being assigned one. Kakashi is 5 years old; Rin and Obito, barely 9. He has a history for murdering child scouts their age and what’s worse? These kids are from peaceful times [whereas he is probably still stuck in the Second Shinobi War]. Whenever he tries to treat them like fellow cadets in the same outpost, Rin and Obito look at him funny whereas Kakashi nods like the dutiful little subordinate he is [bless his tiny, yet brooding heart]. Needless to say, they grow on each other like well meaning fungi and Minato eventually begins to lose his inner strategist streak in favour of an annoying sensei, not dissimilar to how Jiraiya used to treat him.
That whithers with Obito’s death. Rin’s eventual demise makes it worse, and Kakashi becomes someone he can’t afford to lose, even if the means of ensuring his safety are downright cruel. [Throw him in the ANBU - brilliant thinking, Minato] I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Kakashi was hurt by a man he trusted the most -- neither said man, nor Kakashi, realised it.
Fun fact no one asked for: This is why I prefer writing Minato from a pre-Hokage perspective. Do you have any idea what an unrestrained genius can achieve? He would give Orochimaru a run for his jutsu and Danzo a heart attack which would pop the eyeballs right out of his arm.
Now that I’m done, I'm going back to staring at the abysmal rip in the space-time continuum like the blob that I am. Said rip holds my assignments and thanks to your lovely ask, I can’t focus on those either.
Would Kakashi be any different if he was a she? Do you have any headcanons for kunoichi Kakashi? please say yes ✌ in honor of pride month. Whats your Kakashi's orientation or preference?
||OOC: Hi there! You know, it took me awhile to respond to your ask; since I really had to sit down and think about it.
In the end I came to the exact same conclusions as I did when I first read your ask—That Kakashi would still very much be Kakashi despite his gender, here’s why:
The factors that make Kakashi the formidable character that he is known to be is his extensive/varied skill-set when it comes to the shinobi arts; his calculated, aloof and/or minimalist attitude. Coupled with his immeasurable loyalty towards that of his teammates and the Hidden Leaf and the many tragedies he had to face; some from as early as the height of his formative years. As we know from formidable Kunōichi like Senju Tsunade, Chiyō of Sunāgakure, Terumi Mei, Uzumaki Kushina, Uzumaki Mitō, Uchiha Mikoto, heck let’s not forget, Kaguya Ōtsutsuki—that skill isn't concomitant to the sole male characters of the Naruto verse.
And if we go so far as to pour over actual history, it tells us that the most accomplished and feared Ninja were in fact female. We know and accept that being a Kunōichi instead of a shinobi wouldn’t deter Kakashi’s loyalty towards that of his students, comrades or his village and I highly doubt that being a Kunōichi would suddenly gift Kakashi with the emotional aptitude to better deal with his self-proclaimed failures. It certainly wouldn’t have made him better understand his father’s Seppuku route, nor Obito/Itachi’s sacrifices. The only thing he might have handled better (though this Mun doubts) is perhaps Rin and Sakura’s feelings/emotions and that’s hardly a big enough cornerstone to shake the foundation of Hatake.
Things that would have changed with a Genderswap no Jutsu:
The fact that Kakashi might have taken a few extra classes during his academy years, as Kunōichi were often primed for Honey-trapping missions. Said classes would often include flower arrangements, seduction, an advanced look at other cultures within the Elemental Nations and the language of the hand fan known as Akomeogi--Though considering Kakashi’s thirst for knowledge and perfecting the Shinobi arts. Something he inherited from his sensei and his sensei’s sensei and his sensei’s sensei’s sensei…etcetera etcetera; it isn’t a far stretch to say that he might know those things already, neh? ;)
Apart from chest-binding and tying his/her wayward tuffs into a high-pony tail (the Copy-nin is nothing if not a practical foot-soldier) I honestly can’t imagine any further alterations to Kakashi’s daily routine. Shrug. Though I might revisit this later after some debate. As for Kakashi’s orientation/preferences, double-shrug. He’s always been a super private individual, letting none of those details loose except for his obvious love and enjoyment of Jiraiya-sama’s Icha Icha series (book’s whose content we can’t be sure of accept for the fact that they contain intimate scenarios between that of a man and a woman). Even so, I always got the impression that Kakashi doesn’t hold much value to something like gender, nor does he differentiate between rank or one’s origins/Hidden Village (cough Zabuza flashback).
He simply cares about people as they are, focusing instead on their actions and skills (as most of those in their profession tend to do, seeing as each given mission/assignment could be their last). Things like a shared history, understanding and mutual respect far outweigh the standard criteria. Other than that I cannot say, Kakashi is an enigma—even to me. ^^’’
Happy, happy Pride Month, however! And thank you for taking the time to send this in! Here’s a lovely piece of art by LC-drawthing to commemorate the occasion!
that one rper inspired me. Do you have any fics that inspire your art? :) something on just Minato or just Kushina? Do you write any? :)
Ok ok, I can be of some help this time 🤣
My drawings usually came from random thoughts I have during the day, or from quotes that I search for when I need inspiration, not from fics (although some parts of these fics resonate a lot with my headcanons). I've written a fic based on an rpg I did with a few friends, but it's not in English and I never posted it online (two friends , one of them who is here, @sassy-dreamer, drew me a comic based on it! I rebbloged it a few days ago!)
BUT, I have some good Minato fic recs that I think you will like! (Sadly none of Kushina). I think I already recommended all of them a while ago, but they deserve to be recommended again xD:
- Konoha's Yellow Flash really hates paperwork: Namikaze Minato expected to be the Shinigami's dinner, not his judge of the dead. Now he must spend his days judging those that have died and file the paperwork when he is done. Maybe he should have stayed in the Shinigami's stomach after all.
One of my favourite fics featuring Minato. Funny as hell, always puts a smile on my face! The shinigami is iconic.
- An Unexpected Beginning: All seemed lost, I just killed the one I called Brother, as the Snake was using Sasuke's body. Everyone was dead, & Konoha was burning but Kyuubi said we could change it. I had nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Naruto is sent back to the day he was born in an attempt to save his friends and village unfortunately he can't do much, at least until he can walk.
Time-travel. Glorious father/son fluff between Minato and Naruto, and very enjoyable!
- 100 situations: Starring Namikaze Minato. A series of related one-shots.
I can't for the life of me remember anything about this fic. But it was on my Favourites list, so I must have liked it a lot ;)
- Sapphire eyes: The Yondaime hadn't miscalculated. And he wasn't all that golden either. An angelic exterior hides far more sinister motives. Long live the Hokage.
A one-shot character study, rather dark (non-canon compliant as this is from 2009). I LOVE this fic and I must admit that I sometimes (lots of times xD) envision Minato just like this author does.
- Do over: Naruto and Kurama accidentally end up in the past, on the day of Naruto's birth, and are forced to live their lives all over again. They make the best of it, to everyone else's extreme confusion.
This fic isn't focused on Minato, but omg every time he appears is hilarious. I really, really enjoy how the author writes him. One of my favourite depictions of him.
- Branches: Kakashi falls off a tree and lands in a different world. Literally. Now he's in a dimension where nothing makes sense—but he's used to that. Kakashi plans to wreak as much havoc as he can and find his way home . . . if he can.
Just like the one above, this isn't Minato centric, but omg this fic! Amazing and incredibly funny. I remember a few parts where Minato appears that are hilarious xD.
They are all amazing, and I absolutely love each and every one! I hope you like them too :D
Ano... fluff? I'm not good at processing fluffy romance mate, but I'll give it a whirl. Please note, they are based off my readings [and badgering himekushinada for their approvals], ne? You're free to have your own headcanons. I don’t mean to impose on any writer around here.
- Kushina is the only person Minato has an entire list of nicknames for. He will rarely use them in public though. Most of the time, said nickname will involve food and at least three adjectives [it drives Kushina up the wall and he loves it].
- Minato forgets things on purpose. Kushina's messy little scribbled reminders are adorable and he will forever deny collecting them.
- As best friends turned hostages bound in matrimony, they still manage to argue over the silliest things [which Kushina usually wins]. They're also very competitive and will have miniature contests that range from balancing a waribashi on an elbow to a violent round of Jenken. Loser gets to do the dishes [Usually Minato. Damn those Uzumaki genes of good fortune].
- Minato is the worrywart of the two, and will hover around like a concerned penguin unless Kushina elbows him in the ribs to quit it already.
- Kushina is fluent in flake-speak and they have their own little set of field signs to communicate when there are other people in the room. She's the only one who can ruin his perfect poker face during Jōnin meetings [Shikaku has had it with these two].
- Pillow fights. So many pillow fights. [Ano, the lovley Koko drew something along similar lines and I did stumble upon it later - both are unrelated but the picture is so, so good that I need to link it here. So much better than what I had imagined!]
- Minato is a snuggler. He can't help it, since he is paranoid and all [also, Kushina makes a nice pillow]. Kushina is an early riser, and usually has to poke him awake so she can get out of bed. All she gets in return is half open lids and a lazy, dopey grin before he conks out again. Needless to say, he is annoying.
- Minato isn't the best at cooking. He only knows the basics. That doesn't stop him from making Kushina's favourite ramen [it's the only thing he knows how to cook really well, to be honest].
- They divide the chores. At least, they try to. Minato is still the Yondaime, and Kushina an active Jōnin so most of the times he gets stuck with cleaning duty while Kushina takes care of the cooking part. Occasionally, when they are too tired to do either, the duo can be found slumped in a fuzzy lump on the couch, embroiled in a half hearted tiff over what takeout to get. Usually ends with one of them dragging their feet to the kitchen to get instant cup noodles.
- Since they've been together from before Minato became Yondaime, he has a penchant for bringing Kushina souvenirs from his missions/diplomatic visits. With his... questionable aesthetic sense, you can imagine where said souvenirs end up. [their garden is full of little trinkets] The only thing Kushina actively uses is the hair ornaments - and that too during special occasions.
- Minato, as much of a light sleeper [read: paranoid] as he is, is prone to waking up in the middle of the night to Kushina constantly mumbling about something. It can range from ‘ramen stealing rabbits’ to ‘useless kitsune in need of a bath’. This is usually accompanied with the occasional elbow to his side or her tugging his hair. He doesn't mind of course. It's an Uzumaki thing, right?
- Kushina is the only one, apart from Jiraiya, who has had the misfortune of being subjected to Minato's jutsu-blabber. He will go on, and on, and on. His record so far? 4 hours. [cue a chibi version of Jiraiya sensei flashing a 'He's your problem now' placard at Kushina while Gai’s sunset no jutsu plays in the background]
- Minato is surprisingly talented at baking and Kushina is the best taste tester [if by taste testing = eats half the thing he made and forces Kakashi to eat the other half because he's so scrawny].
- Surprisingly enough, they happen to be pretty silent together. Words aren't needed when you can read each other with a mere glance and that's how they like to spend the free time they get. Savouring each other's company.
kokodrawings I love your art :) and I love how you draw Minato and Kushina. Your new drawing made me very teary eyed :') You are one of the two blogs I follow for Minato and you're my first MinaKushi recc
@furrymakerkid asked: writing request for you sweet mun. Minato was too smart to know no feeling was good. How did he cope with it? He didn't have Jiraiya Kushina or his team in the beginning.
Here’s a short answer: He didn’t.
Warning: Kinda dark and maybe NSFW if you squint. Possible triggers may include blood, gore and morbidity [it’s war, ne? Although I’ve restrained my descriptions...er, tried to. I hope you can read it, @furrymakerkid]
Disclaimer: This is my interpretation. Yours may be different and that’s okay - to each their own.
Image credit: Rurouni Kenshin
The trees whispered in soft, breathy murmurs as a gentle wind meandered past their many, leaf laden branches. All was calm, almost eerily silent sans the constant patter of boots against the bare crumble of rock; hushed whispers that were broken by the faint whistle of weapons and the occasional intake of breath. The usually relentless, rough soil was wet, almost muddy; yet there had been no downpour in weeks.
The land of Tsuchi no Kuni wept, while the heavens above bled. The glowing embryo of the sun surrendered to a cocoon of fluffy cumulus, lofty rays bleeding shades of red and orange across the darkening skies as a massacre quietly unfolded below; a beautiful painting, if only in the nature of its innate, organized chaos.
It would be nightfall soon.
“...”
It didn’t matter who raided which settlement first. What mattered was the fact that both sides had to keep an even body count. The dictum regarding warfare they were taught in the academy hardly covered such tactics; a few measly lectures so that bright eyed academy students wouldn’t take the trade less seriously.
It was all fun and games until someone lost a limb on their first field mission. Minato, in that regards, had been rather lucky. Where most cadets would rely on a team to ensure the success of a raid, all he needed was a handful of kunai.
He had always been ridiculously fast - even by regular standards.
The metal loop settled comfortably against his palm as tan digits curled around the hilt, seamlessly pushing it through with one, smooth movement before wrenching the weapon sideways, slicing the unexpected chest like one would tear open a package. Bloodied entrails followed the blade’s wake; peeking out of the soft folds of uneven, torn skin as the still pumping organ convulsed uselessly against twisting branches.
It was a quick execution; a means he had devised after their last field run. The metal loop of his kunai swung easily around his index finger as the waste was swiped off with a sharp flick of the wrist. Blue hues barely caught the woman’s expression as she dropped to her knees; he was already moving, the chakra signatures from his earlier sensory scan twinkling like quaint little targets.
They would be quick kills, for Minato hardly had the time for mercy. A kunai through the eye for anyone stupid enough to look his way, the splattered remains of a skull of a nin ambitious enough to try and sneak up on him, whereas most of the others barely got a chance to blink before deft digits pierced their forms with relative ease. Pure chakra would bounce off his skin like a controlled gale, as his natural wind affinity reduced muscle to fleshy ribbons.
It wasn’t needlessly cruel, per se; it simply happened to be the most effective in ensuring a kill. Besides, he had stopped feeling the warmth of skewered innards ages ago.
“Kami willing may you choke on your own blood”
The words drifted into the faint breeze that swept past their drenched fields; the scent of copper and compost intermingled into a sickly fragrance which sunk into his skin, down to his very bones.
Kami willing? As if Kami existed for people like them.
And then he heard it; a constant low hum that swelled to a certain crescendo, painting his subconscious in a murmur of static. Minato blinked curiously at his quivering fingers before casting a furtive glance around the field of littered innards and crimson. Hardly a soul in sight and yet...trailing off, blue hues returned to the tremble that had somehow seeped into his wrist. He couldn’t feel the slash decorating his palm, but he could definitely see the discoloration associated with poisoned weapons. Ugly strokes of yellows and blues bloomed all over his hand like pale, deathly flowers and he nearly dropped his weapon.
Fuck.
-------------------
“Er...it wasn’t your first kill, was it?” The question was asked nonchalantly enough, as practiced hands wound a roll of gauze around his discoloured counterpart. Minato shot him a flat, unimpressed look which was met with a barely concealed smirk as he tied both ends with a vicious tug.
“I mean...you never get injured.” He continued, as Minato retracted his hand, giving it an experimental poke. “Lucky for you, you got back in time otherwise you’d lose your good arm.”
He was making fun of him, wasn’t he? “Yeah. Lucky.” the blond replied, tone as dry as the man’s wit before he curled his bandaged digits, “What about the hallucinogenic side effects?”
Would it have even mattered if it had been his first kill? The nin had been alive one moment and then he just…hadn’t. Was he supposed to feel something special about that? Besides, he had attacked Minato first.
Regardless. It had been so long ago, he hardly remembered the face associated with the deed. Since his deployment at Kusa, he had killed so many more with seldom a thought that he couldn’t be bothered to remember what they looked like. His last count had been, what, thirty three consecutive solo kills in thirty minutes? That was more than one life a minute.
Mere statistics. It didn’t matter.
“Noise huh? It's the first I'm hearing of it.” Cue the methodical tap of wood against an unshaven chin, “Say, ever considered signing up for the psych evaluation thing they proposed back at HQ? I mean...there's nothing physically wrong with you. Maybe it's in your head." He placed his brush down on the makeshift table before letting out a snort, much to Minato’s chagrin.
“If what they’ve been harping about at HQ was true, we’d all be classified as nuts anyways.” The medic laughed, his grey hair reflecting warm honey in the dim lighting of the medical tent. Bemused, he took off his glasses to wipe a tear, before shooing him away with gloved digits. “Get going, Namikaze. We need you on the patrolling grounds. The war will be over soon, ne?”
Coloured hues met dark counterparts, bleeding ink and whispering false nothings.
“Ne?”
-------------------
Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and the persistent whine in his head refused to shut up. Many an evening would witness the blond shifting his reading scroll to the side, just to press rough finger pads against his closed, burning lids.
He couldn’t recall the last time he had slept. Granted, Minato wasn’t one to sleep much to begin with; he was young, ridiculously curious and had the collective energy of twelve hyperactive gerbils. Still, he had always managed to clock in a few hours before, but this...
It was so damn loud. Minato couldn’t even concentrate for more than a few minutes before the constant low hum poked at his subconscious like a poisoned senbon. It tore at his mental-scape and sensory peripheral akin to flames consuming dry bark. Gone was his natural, healthy tan that had stayed resolute despite their meagre military rations, only to be replaced by a yellowish pallor, along with dark smudges underneath his weary hues.
A part of him was tempted to write to Jiraiya; the man always had answers to all the questions. They were in contact, of course, despite the state of the war and whatnot. Courier runs were few, but very dependable - but could he really divert the Jōnin’s attention from the frontlines where he was undoubtedly needed?
No, he couldn’t be that childish. Their local medic had dismissed his concerns too, so clearly it wasn’t that big a deal.
Right?
His seniors had different answers. Some blamed the weather, some considered the possibility that an enemy had contaminated their food supply [“I’ve been feeling kinda itchy myself.”] While some had nothing to offer at all. No answers. They figured he was finally losing his mind, after killing so many - in fact, most were still wary of him since even the older Chunin in their unit showed a little hesitance when it came to those child scouts who were no older than academy students.
But Minato? He operated on autopilot. For someone so young and without a hint of malice on his features, he was surprisingly cold hearted. Most of the new Chunin cadets steered well away from him, either in awe or fear whereas his older, more experienced counterparts often regarded him with complacent silence.
Not exactly friends, but comrades. They could probably share a few drinks together. Not converse though. Perish the thought.
The constant, low drone was driving him mad.
Arizuwa Yana; an experienced Chunin from the reserve strike unit apparently had a few theories. Said theories were dry at best, with little speculation as to the nuance of phantom sensations, though with plenty of promises of actual sensations.
Somehow, one thing had led to another and they had ended up intertwined together in one of the darker corners of the many, many tents in their unit. He was a few years younger than her, but apparently that wasn’t a problem.
Age didn't matter, gender didn't matter - nothing did.
The problem was that despite the hands ghosting his clothed sides, he still couldn’t feel anything; it was like his insides were frozen with nothing sans the constant thrum of sound for company. A frown settled between his brows at the thought as slender, yet calloused fingers tangled themselves within his hair, tugging with an odd sort of insistence.
It did nothing to quell the static he alone could still hear, could practically sense crawling under his skin like wild, feverish ants.
Static. It seemed that was the only thing he could feel these days.
And this…this wasn’t helping. Blue hues flickered to dark, older counterparts before tan digits removed themselves from the soft swell of her pretty face. “I’m sorry, senpai.” Is all he managed to say, not really sorry at all before the same fingers found her forehead, jutsu a mere whisper against her flushed skin.
Yana senpai was out cold in the span of a heartbeat. Dull orbs stared at her peaceful features for a few precious seconds before he rolled over, gaze fixed on the sloping ceiling and a forearm resting against his forehead.
Maa...what a waste.
-------------------
Jiraiya sensei,
How are things at the front lines? Yuuhei taicho told us that Amegakure had officially joined the fray and you would be deployed there soon. Gambatte, sensei.
Ano…sensei, I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I’ve stopped feeling things. It started out as a weird sort of numbness, as if I was looking at the world through someone else’s eyes. I don’t even feel the sting of a cut anymore.
I’m scared. Is this a good thing? Oh by the way, you won’t believe what I found about that fuuin combination you told me about that one time. If it’s truly what you say it is, the Nindaime might have been on to something. See, if you swap the earth and wind constructs then the combination gets altered. I tried something with one of my fuuin tags today and the results were kinda wonky but in a good way. Let me know when you get this and I’ll send you all the workings I did.
Minato
He purposefully left out the bit where a part of him wanted to hide behind the elder, shaggy white mane and all, and stay in the comfort of his towering shadow. He had wanted to, though - desperately, too. But his writing brush had paused, a lone drop of ink blotting the parchment and upsetting his neat signature.
That had decided it then, hadn’t it? Gloved digits had rolled the parchment in a neat scroll, bound it with a convenient little fuuin and handed it in for the next courier run.
His paranoia was silly. Kusa was one of their priority outposts; full of experienced comrades and they were armed to the teeth. They were as safe as they would ever be. Besides, he had a near perfect kill streak - no one in their right wits would target him; Konoha’s number one rookie genius.
He felt so horribly alone though.
You’re not a child anymore, Minato.
-------------------
Three weeks. No reply. The constant fighting was taking its toll on all sides; with dwindling numbers and increased recklessness. Their tiny little outpost presently served as the main rendezvous point between the frontlines fighting Iwa and the reserve forces that had set up camp a few miles away. The war would enter its final phase soon and everyone was too bone tired to complain.
Minato wanted to send another message, but if Jiraiya hadn’t had the time to respond to his previous letter…
Sigh. Clothed shoulders sagged a little while the side of his face met loosely curled digits, expression forlorn. Next to him, Inuzuka Saito quirked an eyebrow but said nothing. They were both stuck with watch duty, in case the platoon that had been sent out to assist their frontlines against Iwa a few days ago came stumbling back.
Initially, Minato had been a part of it too, but Yuuhei taicho had ordered otherwise. He and a few others would be used to sneak from behind and attack Iwa’s unguarded backs. His experimental jutsu was perfect for the purpose, and he had a near flawless strike record so far.
And in the off chance he failed? It would be...understandable. The wars saw their fair share of victims and the Memorial was an honour for any loyal, Konoha nin.
The very thought made him taste bile. Tan digits curled into a trembling fist at his knee, as frigid blue hues glared a hole through the encroaching shadows of dusk that surrounded their camp. Kusa was known for its rich forests; gigantic fauna and rivers that made it the perfect terrain to hide and lie in wait. Nightfall usually witnessed the shadows that clung to its natural, beautiful scenery slip from their places and creep inwards, bathing all matter; living and non-living, in its eerie, peaceful silence.
Yet he had not experienced any blissful silence in so long; the static was a constant thrum in his mental-scape, one he had learned to accept. The Namikaze would be damned if he lost what constituted as his sanity to a useless murmur of sound; he had not survived through the countless murders to plead death by insanity, had not endured the constant stench of rot and copper which hung around his frame like the scent of mustard oil that he used to maintain his weapons.
Had not sliced through flesh despite the whimpers begging for mercy--
Cue a shuddering sigh as eyes squeezed shut and he felt the urge to rip out his own hairs. Trembling digits inched upwards, intending to do just that before Saito’s voice broke the spell.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
Namikaze Minato was going insane. Maybe he had always been insane and by Kami, he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. Blue hues snapped open, staring listlessly at the dark and he swallowed thickly against his now dry throat. His frame tipped forwards; forearms resting against his knees as long, blond bangs hid his terrifyingly monotonous expression.
They would learn to loathe him, to fear him and he would slaughter them like the pointless sacks of meat that they we--
“Mail call!” A second interruption, though this time something actually managed to hit him in the back of his head. Fumbling hands barely caught it before it could hit the ground as the designated courier nin giggled, “Sorry, Namikaze.” Boots crunched against the leaf littered floor before he moved inside the camp, similar calls echoing in his wake. Minato blinked owlishly at the nin’s retreating figure, before shifting his gaze to the messy paper wrapping and miniature scroll that hung listlessly from one of the many corners.
It wasn’t from Jiraiya sensei.
Minato no baka,
Heard you were stuck in Kusa. That sucks ne? You’re surrounded by giant weeds and laughing shrooms. I’ve sent you some of those weird sticky quail egg things you like to cheer you up.
Guess who’ll be deployed soon. Me, that’s who! Maybe we’ll even be at the same outpost. You can show me all the nice napping spots ne? We got news the other day that the war wouldn’t last long. It’s been years already. I hope you’re still…you know, you. I miss you. Why did you stop writing?
Take care of yourself. Better not die or I’ll drag you back from the clutches of the shinigami just to kill you myself.
Kushina
Weird sticky quail egg things? Wait, was she talking about the sticky sweet beans he had accidentally spilled on her once?
“What are you grinning at?”
“Hm? Nothing, nothing.” And yet, there was something. He couldn’t help the silly little smile that tugged at his lips while his current patrol mate shot him a weird look. He was about to open his mouth to ask a second time, but then he saw the half open wrapping resting in the crook of Minato’s arm and made a quick swipe for it.
“Is that natto? Kami it’s been so long! Can I have some?”
“Sure.” Minato wasn’t even paying attention to the greedy fingers that had grabbed the miniature treats as soon as the words left his lips. Blue hues were still trained on the inky scrawl that denoted the kunoichi’s kanji. Kushina had always been an unpredictable little oddball. He didn’t even remember the last time he had written to her, but she clearly did. It made him feel strangely warm.
---And now he wanted to rip his own heart out and squeeze the treacherous, woeful thing until it would beat no more. Trembling digits rolled the scroll before a sweaty palm was pressed harshly against his aching forehead, the fingerless, leather glove providing little comfort to the uncomfortable warmth that stung his tightly closed lids.
Kami...what was wrong with him?
As if Kami existed for people like them.
Endnote: This took me far longer than I thought I would. Apologies! Ano, extra trippyness can be accorded to Koko, ne? She mentioned insanity, and since you had already tempted my inner crazy...
