#further reference available upon request

[shenanigumi]

*high-pitched internal shriek*

NO MAN

WEARING A SHINY GOLD SUIT

AND A SPARKLY TOP HAT

AND GLITTERY EYE MAKEUP

AND HOOP EARRINGS

AND PURPLE NAIL POLISH

AND LAVENDER LIPSTICK

WITH A GODDAMN BLUE TONGUE

AND CARRYING A PIMP SWORD-CANE

SHOULD EVER BE THIS

FUCKING

ATTRACTIVE