#future ~

[kfl0p]

im so determined to get theodore nowadays.

i dont know what to do with myself.

[kfl0p]

on lighter news,

i got complimented on my website design today. ms lee, the advisor for animation club, which i design & manage the website for, said that i could probably start up a business with all of this website thing that i can do. honestly, its come across my mind once or five times already. its a bit part of my major for northridge, but as a business ? i feel like i will have to work a bit hard for a lot of things. & all in the end, its not like i can start it right then & there or now without putting up some time that i hardly have enough of. what im saying is that theres so much work to be done already for this huge project to start up. & besides, i cant start a business if theres so many websites that can do a better job than me & dont even charge. so why should i even bother, ya`know ?

[kfl0p]

instead of my future child,

dear theodore, my future pug, please understand that i promise you will be the greatest & most comforting stress reliever i will ever honestly have for the future. yes, baby, you are a planned pet, but that makes all the difference, because i will be adopting you & i will never ever try to part from you if i dont have to. you will come along with me to paris, i hope that you will pout at me when you realize that the snow underneath your paws during the snowing months in france are not to your liking. i hope you will nuzzle against me in the dead of those nights, because all the snow is now causing you to be cold, shiver, & you have to admit that my blanket is warm. its alright, my future puglet, i will let you lay next to me. you will be my french understanding greatest treasure after that marvelous four month trip.

please love the spaghetti papa nathanberry will spend about fifty minutes each week for you to eat. please love the many many MANY drives i will take with you next to me in the passenger seat to the beach, to the park, to meet my sisters, to meet michelle, my grandparents poodle. i hope you love the sunny spots on the balcony i will have by the time youre around & i hope you will also love the trips in the laundry basket to the laundry room & me playing with you in there. i will take a picture of you every day that i have my camera charged & ready to go & i just hope that you arent as camera shy as most dogs are. please be there when i open the door & call out your name. please dont run away, but if you do, please come back.

writing this to you, even though you are not here yet, makes me miss you. i have to wait until junior year just to be able to hold your adorable little paws in my hand & tie that spiffy white bow tie around your neck & christen you theodore. momma kate will love you, if that is not evident yet, she promises. so wait for me. & i hope you will, in turn, love me too, & remain with me for as long as dog god has permitted us to remain together.

love, your future doggy momma, kate.

[kfl0p]

i finally got something from csun.

but argh, stupid mother. she told me they didnt accept me, & i was like HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ? THE ENVELOPE ISNT EVEN OPEN. YOU CANT OPEN MAIL ADDRESSED TO SOMEONE ELSE. THATS ILLEGAL. { she was like cowering a little LOL }

it was just account information. she freaked me out. -______-

but afterwards, during dinner, she was like IF YOU GO THERE, DONT EXPECT ANY MONEY FROM ME. IM BLAH BLAH BLAH IN DEBT. & i was sitting there like in mid chew, thinking FUQ DIS DINNER. MY APPETITE IS GONE. i proceeded to lose a bit of my temper & i ended up telling mother, I WASNT ASKING FOR YOUR MONEY. i got a banana & some ice cream & made myself a banana split before leaving to vent with some music.

i know she doesnt want me to go far, what a mother, but its like she doesnt want me to go to college AT ALL. shit, i cant just fucking live with her for the rest of my life. i wasnt meant to be babied & stuck in the cramp nest, evolution didnt give me wings to just be pretty.

[kfl0p]

sorry to the some eighteen to twenty two

colleges constantly emailing me to go to their universities, im a california state university kinda gal. UNSUBSCRIBED UNSUBSCRIBED ~

[kfl0p]

second surprise of the day ?

i got a very official looking envelope from dominguez hills.

dear kate, it is my pleasure to inform you that you have been conditionally admitted to CSUDH for the fall 2O12 term - congratulations !

DA HECK DOES THAT MEAN ? did they accept me accept me or did they just put me on the list of ACCEPTED BUT TO BE DETERMINED ON WHETHER SHE FINISHES HIGH SCHOOL & GET C OR HIGHER business ? ._____. ajslfahgjadhgjkshgjkshk

once you have activated your my.csuhd.edu account, please confirm your inent to entroll by selecting ' accept admission ' on the admission tab. deadline to ' accept admission ' is may first, but it is available to be submitted sooner in order to take advantage of course availability & university resources.

k, that part, i was panicing because what if i want to enroll but i dont want to because northridge still hasnt sent me information yet ? { NORTHRIDGE, IM EYE TWITCHING YOU. } what if i press it too soon & i decide i wanna go to northridge instead ? damn.

[kfl0p]

40☆,

what do i want to do after high school ? - - - this would be sad if i was already out. i wanna move out. i wanna go off to college. i wanna find myself chin up in bills that have my own name in them & be able to pay them off WITH MY OWN G O D D A M N MONEY. i wanna be able to open my own bank account that is primarily for a trip to the caribbeans. i wanna go off to paris for study abroad. i wanna be able to buy theodore the pug by the beginning of junior year of college. i want steven there beside me, telling me that he likes waking up to me, & that i should never cook for him ever again. i dont wanna see my family, any of them, for an enormous amount of time, like five to sixteen months at most, & still send them christmas cards attached to their presents via mail box & a lot of stamps. i just wanna do things that i will be able to find myself completely content doing.