I’m not wearing that
//This is my entry for the @fyeah-choir-boy-slash minibang. My prompt was “I’m not wearing that” for Sebhawke. I was paired up with the wonderful @arkilliandragon who drew this super fantastic piece for the idea that we had. Go over and check them and their art out!
When Sebastian turned up at his doorstep with a little bag in his hand and a mischievous smile, Hawke first didn‘t know what to make of it. Sebastian had never looked at him like that before, really. If it was Isabela, or maybe Anders looking at him like that he would have assumed that they wanted to have sex, but he knew that Sebastian wasn‘t like that. It had taken him a while to understand that even without his vows Sebastian wouldn‘t be interested in the more primal side of whatever they were. He hadn‘t heard of it before and was confused at first, thinking that the Brother only wanted to be friends, and it had taken the help of Isabela of all people to set his head straight and make him understand that you could very well be in a relationship with someone without fucking them.
So what was it that Sebastian wanted now if he wasn‘t after sex? Hawke tried to not let his confusion show and let the archer inside, greeting him with a soft kiss as was customary for them. When he then shuffled back into the house he heard Sebastian taking off his boots and then coming after him, only stopping to pet the mabari and greet him.
„So, Hawke“ He heard the Brother‘s voice after him on the stairs, coming closer as Sebastian caught up with him. „Are you up for something a little bit more… kinky?“
Hawke raised an eyebrow even before turning around, leveling Sebastian with a confused look. „Kinky? Haven‘t we just sorted out how you don‘t want to have sex and also honour your vows?“ he asked, gesturing towards Sebastian‘s Andraste belt (which he found about as creepy and hilarious as Anders did, only he wouldn‘t say it to his face because he didn‘t want to hurt that sweet puppy of a man).
„Well, you can be kinky without having sex“ Sebastian told him, in a voice that somehow managed to be so utterly filthy that it rivalled Isabela‘s dirty talk.
„Oh? Well now you have me intrigued?“ Hawke gave back, eyeing his lover curiously. „And what exactly is it that you were thinking about?“
Sebastian let out a little chuckle and prodded at him to walk further, leading him into the bedchamber. „I think you need to relax a little“ he stated and sat down on the bed.
„Relax? I‘m always relaxed when I‘m with you, my dear“ Hawke replied, sitting down next to him and taking Sebastian‘s hand. Maker, was he glad that the Brother wasn‘t opposed to physical contact like this.
„You are, my darling, but that is not what I meant. I think you need to let go once in a while. Not be the Champion, not be everyone‘s hope. Just be yourself, let go of the responsibility.“
Hawke leaned against Sebastian‘s shoulder and closed his eyes. „Maybe that would be nice. Once in a while. It sounds an awful lot like that thing Isabela used to do with me. It was awesome. The way she would just… take over, and everything would slip away, every responsibility, all the stress. It was amazing, and I always felt so relaxed after...“ He swallowed, suddenly feeling a bit self concious. Isabela had been great, and she was still a great friend, but she hadn‘t been ready for the kind of commitment he wanted, and he was happy to see her with Merrill now. They were good for one another, really. But still he often thought back on their days together, and what they would get up to in the bedroom.
Sebastian‘s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and there was a soft kiss on top of his head.
„I talked to her, actually. I noticed you getting more and more stressed, and short with some of us, in a way you weren‘t when you still were with her.“
Hawke pulled back, frowning a little. „You noticed me getting stressed and instead of talking to me you talked about my sex life with my ex-lover?“ he asked incredulously.
Sebastian at least had the decency to look a bit sheepish, but reached into his bag to pull out a small strip of … something.
„She said this would help you get into the right mindset?“
Hawke took it and looked down on it. „Anders gave it to me“ Sebastian explained as Hawke turned the strip of soft fabric with a little bell on it over in his hands. „He said he has no use for it anymore and-“
„Sebastian, is this a cat collar?“ Hawke asked, holding it up with two fingers and staring at Sebastian incredulously.
„Yes it is. I made sure it would be long enough for you though“ The Brother replied.
With a shudder, Hawke jumped up and tossed it on the bed.
„Maker, I‘m not wearing that! As if I was some cat! Some stupid housecat, maybe, lazy and fat and always sleeping in front of the hearth? Ew no, why would you think that? Did you want to put a tail on me as well, all fluffy and swishy and leaving hairs all over the floor and my ass?“
Sebastian did look a bit upset now, gazing upon Hawke with a confused glance. „I just thought… forget it“ he murmured, standing and walking towards the door. He clearly was upset, and Hawke reached out to catch his arm.
„Sebastian. Forgive me. I spoke out of turn. Stay, and tell me what you thought?“ At the same time he eyed the cat collar on the bed with a slight shiver. Why on earth would he want to wear that?
„Well...“ Sebastian‘s accent became even thicker when he was upset, it seemed. „I talked to Isabela, and she said you always had a collar and it helped you get into the right mindset. So I thought it might help you...“
„Yes, but… why a cat collar? I wouldn‘t want to be a kitty?!“ He got up and walked over to his dresser, rummaging about until he found one of his mabari‘s old collars. It was heavy leather with a sturdy buckle and a ring to fasten a leash to. There were some extra holes in it to make it fit around a man‘s neck as well as a mabari‘s, and it was worn soft with use. He walked over and gently laid it down in Sebastian‘s lap.
„Like this. Like a dog. Or a puppy. I like to be a playful puppy, play fetch, chew on everything, get belly scratches. Especially belly scratches. Cats hate those, I wouldn‘t want to be a cat.“
Sebastian gently took the collar and inspected it, running his fingers along the edges as if to test if they were smooth enough to not chafe. He was careful and deliberate, testing everything before just going with the flow. One of the things Hawke loved about him. Maybe he should tell him he loved him one of these days.
„So… you would wear this collar, but not the other one? I just wanted to get you something pretty...“ He trailed off for a bit, but then looked up and placed a kiss on Hawke‘s cheek.
„You will be wonderful anyway. How about I put this on you then?“
He looked so hopeful, Hawke couldn‘t help but to lean in and place a kiss right on his lips. Without a reply, he slipped down onto his knees and shuffled between Sebastian‘s legs, looking up at him with his best puppy eyes.
„May I please wear my collar?“ He asked, placing his hands up on the Brother‘s thighs. He closed his eyes as Sebastian‘s hands neared his throat, and soon he felt the worn leather settle around his neck, heavy enough to be felt, snug enough that he was always aware of it, but loose enough to let him breathe easily. Just perfect. He inhaled deeply, and he could already feel the calm setting in, that calm that only came with things like these, from handing the control of the situation over to someone he trusted. Of setting his responsibilities aside so he could just be Garrett for a while. Just Garrett, not the Champion, not even Hawke. Just himself.
He kept his eyes closed as he leaned his head against Sebastian‘s thigh, breathing deeply and slowly letting himself sink into the situation, into the right mindset.
He didn‘t know how much time had passed, but when he opened his eyes again he was completely relaxed, leaning against his Master‘s body and looking up at him adoringly. He had the best blue eyes, and such a sweet smile, and the best hands that were scratching at the back of his neck. He would love to expose his tummy to him to get some belly rubs. Maybe he would do so later. Later, when they were done just silently cuddling, and after they had played and then went back to cuddling. He shifted a bit, pressing his head against his Master‘s stomach. It was weird being a puppy and being clothed, maybe he would be allowed to take his clothes off? He wouldn‘t mind if they stayed on though either, he wouldn‘t want to make Master uncomfortable. He looked to the side, his gaze falling on the little cloth bag that Master had brought in earlier, and he spotted a little ball in it. Small and yellow, perfect for playing fetch. Puppy loved playing fetch. He let out a little huff and pulled back, moving over to nose at the bag and the ball within. He heard a little chuckle from above and then Master‘s hand closed around the ball and took it away. He cocked his head and watched as the man showed him the ball, then tossed it to the side of the room in an elegant arch. Puppy immediately went after it, shuffling over the floor as fast as he could and picking up the ball to bring it back to Master, only to then hypnotise him with puppy eyes until he would throw it again.
Puppy loved playing fetch, and the game was on.