Name: G-Love
Debut: SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom
While licensed games generally have a mediocre reputation, the first two SpongeBob 3D platf- JUST KIDDING you don’t need that whole intro spiel! This isn’t, like, 2014. Everyone knows about Battle for Bikini Bottom and everyone knows it is awesome and epic. Partly because the gameplay is awesome, partly because you get to explore SpongeBob’s world with all sorts of classic and original elements, and partly because funny robots!
And what funny robots they are! This game amassed an astounding armada of angry automatons, and while they are all, at the very least, Delightful, there is one that really stands out! And I am not talking about the Regular Jellyfish. That does stand out! But it is just not a robot.
G-Love is, among all of these mostly-approximately-humanoid, mostly-gray robots, a brightly-painted green and purple UFO-shaped thing! it has two bobbly antennae in the front, bringing eyestalks to mind even if they may not be eyestalks, and FIVE arms. FIVE! That’s an odd number! They can’t just have the same number of right and left hands. In fact, they don’t really seem to have right or left hands, instead being able to rotate them around as needed! And do I even need to mention the white gloves? Do I really need to tell you all that white gloves as hands on the ends of cold, metal, robotic arms are always wonderful? Because I will gladly tell you anytime!
Even with no face, and possibly no eyes, G-Love is quite expressive, thanks to its g-loves! Anyway, here it is clapping after successfully damaging the player with its trademark spinny slap attack, a job well done! No, it is not broken here, its arms are just VERY floaty sometimes. I am not sure why.
HANDS-down the most fun way to defeat a G-Love is with Sandy’s lasso! The lasso works on basically any enemy, and is an especially good option for large robots, but there is nothing quite like wrangling a G-Love. It just feels so impactful, with the way it flips and all five hands get tied together, like you’ve really discovered this thing’s weakness!
G-Love received a redesign in the Rehydrated version of the game and, hmm! I have not yet seen this one in action, but I do like the eye-bulb with a crooked antenna it has, but I think the original bobblies work better. I like the lack of a distinct “head” on the original, and it also better communicates that it is weak to being stomped by a Bubble Bounce from above. This is still a very good robot, though!
Also, how have you been pronouncing this name? I’ve always thought “Gee-love”, and that is probably the intended way, but surely there are some who think “Guh-love”. Maybe you think “Guh-love” just to be different, and that’s okay.
