The Boy Who Wouldn't Break
Another entry for @harryandginuary BINGO event.
Prompt: G 51. “You really don’t want to open that door.”
TW: discussion of childhood trauma. Nothing descriptive.
Read it here on AO3
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"I can't believe we are talking about this again." Ginny threw her head back in exasperation. It was an old conversation, one they had covered again and again.
"I'm sorry if this is too much." Harry's voice sounded small, and Ginny's heart dropped. Of course, they were having this conversation again. She knew it probably wouldn't be the last time, and she knew she would have it again and again and again until he knew what she knew.
"You know how I feel."
"I know, and I appreciate everything you have done for me since Voldemort. But I'm whole and healed, and I would be fine if you… you know. Wanted something else."
For all the confidence the Man Who Lived Twice had when it came to being an Auror or fighting dark wizards or standing up for the downtrodden and misunderstood, he had never learned to believe that he deserved love. He never believed that he could be loved, wholly and unconditionally.
She knew that it was a product of his childhood. Fucking Petunia Dursely who was unable to show any love for the little toddler she begrudgingly took in. Harry only shared snippets of his childhood, usually a comment in passing that he didn't realize the devastating reality of. Things he thought were normal, but in reality, broke her heart. She tried to push him to talk about it more, but he never would. "You don't want to open that door," he would say instead.
The product of all of that childhood trauma was sitting here in front of her, all sad round eyes and hunched shoulders, giving her an out she never asked for or wanted. It took everything inside her not to go to Privet Drive to break the woman who did her damnedest to break that little boy.
Instead, Ginny crawled into Harry's lap and kissed him and kissed him again, until the sadness was no longer there in his eyes. When they broke apart some time later, she cupped his face in her hands.
"I'm not going anywhere, Harry. I don't want out. You don't need to offer me an escape. I don't need it, and I don't want it. I love you, and I choose you. To be my partner, to be my love, to be my whole life. And I will keep choosing you for as long as you will let me. I hope that you'll let me, because this is a forever kind of love for me."
"It is for me too." His voice was still soft, though it lacked the pain she heard there earlier.
"Good. Because I've got some brothers that would like to have a word, otherwise."
Harry chuckled. "Like you'd leave anything behind for your brothers to talk to." Harry kissed the corner of her mouth, which tilted up into a smile. "You're much scarier than they are." Ginny hummed in agreement. "I'm sorry." Ginny pulled away and gave him a questioning look. "For doing this again. For doubting you. For making us have this conversation again."
"Never feel bad about this conversation. I would rather have this conversation a thousand times than for you to ever think I don't love you." Ginny ran her fingers into his hair and pulled him in for a kiss. Not pulling away, she spoke against his lips. "I will say it until you can't forget it. I love you Harry. I always will."
