Well, I’ve started yours! The lineart is all done so all that needs doing is the colouring :) They should be done by the end of today, they would have been finished last night but I really wasn’t in the mood, sorry :( <3
I have 3 drawings to do: Smell-of-rich-mahogany, Gabiforder and Youtubeandshit. I'm going to do this tomorrow because my eyes hurt from drawing for almost 2 and a half hours straight n_n" I promise they'll be the first things I do though!
-: “Why’re you so scared? Do you not want me to be near you?” He asked sadly and pulled away. “I’m sorry, I just wanted love..” He said childishly. “I don’t get that. Mum ran away with a fucking pornstar and Dad fucks me!” He sobbed, finally breaking down.
+: Phil looked guilty, picking up his pen and quickly scribbling, ‘I just don’t like being touched’. He wanted now more than ever to hug Dan but it had been beaten out of him that hugs were a sign of goodness.
-: “Hugs don’t hurt though.” He sighed and crawled up to Phil’s face so they were face to face. “Nor do kisses..” He mumbled almost incoherently.
+: Phil nodded and smiled at Dan's father. 'So how was the latest movie?' Phil wrote to make conversation, staying by Dan's side at all costs.
-: "Dad!" Dan shouted slightly when he saw his Dad staring at his lips. "Dad, Phil is asking you something.."
+: "I'm sorry Phil, it was fine" He flashed a fake smile, eyes narrowing at Dan. He wanted his way with Dan and clearly this boy was being a cock block. "How long is Phil going to be here son?".
-: "All week end. Till Sunday night.." Dan shuffled his feet and looked at his father for some approval of sorts. "He's sleeping with me in my room. Is that alright?"
+: Dan's father narrowed his eyes at Phil before he shook his head. "I can't allow a boy i've only just met stay in my house Daniel" The man put an underlying tone of threat which made Phil grab Dan's hand for comfort.
-: "But you told me it was okay when I asked you." Dan whined and clutched at Phil's hand for love and support. "Daddy?.." That was the name Dan always had to use if he wanted his way. A safe word if you will.
+: "Fine, but I want to talk to you right now in private" Frank stood up, becoming to Dan to follow him. Phil looked up at Dan, confused and a little intimidated of the Dan's father, he towered over Phil and could easily knock him one if necessary.
-: "It's okay.." Dan worriedly shoved Phil into the living room and sat him on the sofa. "You don't need to see this." Dan hurried out of the kitchen to the living room and then to his dad in all under 15 seconds. "What is it dad?" He asked timidly and stood in the hall outside the living room with him.
+: "Is he your boyfriend?" Was the immediate question. "Because I don't want to have to teach you a lesson a mere day after the last" Dan's father growled slightly, keeping his voice low so Phil didn't overhear.
-: Obviously Phil's hearing was insanely strong, something Dan forgot to mention. "Yes, well..- I w- I think so.." Dan replied quietly.
+: "You think so? It's a yes or no question" Dan's father moved forward so his face was directly in front of Dan's. "Answer me".
-: "I don't know!" Dan pleaded. He knew how this would end up but for some reason, he felt the need to push his luck today.
+: "Daniel Howell, you are mine. I have claim to you and I'm the one you've been fucking. No stupid fucker is going to take you from me" Dan's father growled, eyes primal.
-: "He's not stupid dad! I don't fuck you, you fuck me. Dad. That's who you are! You're my father." Dan protested and tried to prove a point.
+: "What did you say?" Dan's father growled, grabbing Dan's arm roughly.
-: "I said you're my dad! You're not my boyfriend are you? You abuse me!" Dad winced at the painful hold his father had. He hoped to god Phil didn't get hurt too.
+: "What did that mute say to you?" Dan's father growled, eyes ablaze with anger. Over the past night Dan had grown a spine which needed to be quenched if his fantasies could still be played out.
-: "What? Dad, his names Phil okay? All he said- he never said anything. I'm sorry I got cross daddy.." Dan cowered away from his dad and he wanted to save Phil from any form of pain.
+: "You're sorry? Trying to protect him now?" Frank chided, shaking his head. "I want him out. Now".
-: "No..look, I'll do anything with you. Just don't throw him out. I'm sorry." Dan looked into his fathers eyes and leaned against the wall.
+: Frank stayed silent for a few seconds before nodding. "Fine, but I want nothing more being said to him, got it?".
-: "Okay..can I go into him now please? He's by himself..? And dad? Can I sleep with him?.." He asked cautiously and waited for an answer
+: "What do you mean sleep with him?" Dan's father asked for clarification.
-: "In the same bed. I didn't mean.." Dan shook his head and walked into Phil. His forever there father followed him and sat down, making sure nothing was said and Dan didn't leave his eyeline. Sitting down next to Phil on the sofa, Dan tried his best to smile.
+: Phil smiled back, unsure of the conversation that had just occurred. 'Everything ok?' Phil wrote, an amount of worry in the words. Phil;s bright blue eyes analyzed Dan's for any form of fear or pain.
-: "Mm hmm." Dan nodded and pulled Phil into a warm hug. He leaned down to his ear and whispered the truth. "Dad wanted you out so he could have me. I said I'd do anything in return for him letting you stay." The whispers took the form of what looked like a kiss. Therefore, Frank glared harshly.
+: Phil nodded ever so slightly, disguising it by leaning into Dan like he had seen couples do in movies. His hand picked up the whiteboard to write, 'Thanks for letting me stay Mr Howell' and turning it to show Dan's father.
-: Dan's eyes widened as he read what was on the board. Surely his father would tell Dan had told Phil what had been going on. "He doesn't get out much, he's happy to be here.." Dan smiled at his father.
+: 'Yeah, my dad usually says no to me going out' Phil lied through his pen, smiling sheepishly. Phil's father had no clue where Phil was and would be angry as hell when Phil got back.
-: "His dad hurts him.." Dan whispered to his dad, trying to act normal. "Dad? Do you want me to come and sit by you?" He asked worriedly when his father never replied to bprevious comments. Frank would often have Dan sit on his lap, it was easier to get to him then.
+: "If you want" Frank gave a giant fake smile, opening his arms up to let Dan sit near him. Phil wasn't sure what secret conversation was going on between the pair but he felt like he was either the cause or he was stopping it.
-: Dan squeezed the top of Phil's thigh and stood up. Sitting down on his fathers lap, Dan leaned into his arms. If somebody walked in now, it would be the strangest sight. A sixteen year old six foot boy was sitting o a film stars lap and a pale other male sat on the sofa with a white board.
+: Dan's father looped his arms around Dan, resting his head on Dan's. Phil watched them as the conversation continued, joining in when able to. Though through most of it he just listened and tried to work out if Dan or himself was in any danger.
-: Dan jolted forward as he felt his fathers hands move around his body. Turning pale, Dan masked his fear with trying to look like he enjoyed it. That's what his dad liked. Glancing over at Phil, Dan's eyes pleaded for a savior.
+: 'Mr Howell, can Dan show me where we'll be sleeping tonight?' Phil wrote in an attempt to get Dan out of the clearly uncomfortable position that he found himself in.
-: Dan threw his head back and stifled a very small fake grumble. "Uh..dad..Phil asked you something.."
+: "Sure" Dan reluctantly let Dan stand up and Phil stood too, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "I guess I'll see you both at dinner" Dan's father remarked.
-: Dan quickly ran to Phil and grabbed his hand to pull him up the stairs. Dan's room was massive but one thing stuck out. The bed. It was always that bed where things happened. Shutting the door, Dan pushed Phil flat on the bed and climbed on top of him. "Thank you so much.."
+: Phil nodded, eyes reassuringly looking over Dan and his arms hugged Dan. 'Are you ok?' Phil wrote, rubbing Dan's back carefully.
-: Silently shaking his head, Dan rolled onto his side and curled into a ball. "I'm disgusting..I don't have any feelings toward him at all but I still react that way.."
+: 'It's natural Dan, he's disgusting, not you' Phil wrote, rubbing Dan's arm carefully.
-: Shuffling closer to Phil, Dan wrapped his arms under his shirt and around his waist. "I love you.." He mumbled for the first time.
+: "I l-lov-e yo-u t-oo" Phil forced out, his voice croaking and causing a small coughing fit as his throat was raw.
-: "You spoke!" Dan replied happily and moved his hand to pat Phil's back. Leaning forward, Dan pressed his lips firmly against the boys and closed his eyes. "I need you now more than ever."
+: Phil smiled against Dan's lips, kissing back and looping his arms around Dan's neck.
-: Dan moved his lips to Phil's neck where a hicky had formed. Kissing it gently, Dan looked up into the males eyes. "Can I see your body? I want to kiss every damaged area.."
+: Phil nodded shakily and sat up, starting by pulling off his jumper and shirt. His chest was covered in old bruises and newer ones, cuts from more horrible encounters and when his dad had been drunk.
-: Dan sat up with him and slowly traced his fingers over Phil's torso. He made sure not to be firm, he didn't want to cause pain. Dan's eyes followed every cut and bruises in detail. Leaning Phil down on the bed, Dan kneeled up and lowered his head so his lips come into contact with the bruise around Phil's clavicle.
+: Phil stayed completely silent, watching Dan's movements carefully. He was taking such care with him, making sure to not apply much pressure to agrivate the bruises and cuts. It was weird being cared for, yet a feeling that Phil enjoyed.
-: After caressing and kissing each damaged area, Dan sat up against the head board and looked at Phil who was laying on his back. "I don't have any bruises.." He mumbled and didn't find it apropriate to take his clothes off when sober. He had never done that before.
+: Phil nodded to show he understood, putting back on his shirt, feeling embarrassed slightly. 'Thank you' Phil wrote, sure that with more practice he could talk for longer periods but he needed a throat break.
-: "Hey, that's fine. It's what I'm here for I guess. I think that's what boyfriends do anyway. I've only ever been pissed when I've been fucked or fucking.." Dan realised how crude that sounded but it was too late to take back now. "Do you mind me being close to you? I know you don't like being touched but I will never hurt you."
+: 'I know you won't. I guess we can see' Phil wrote, answering the questions in reverse. He smiled slightly at how Dan had chosen his wording, shaking his head at the crudeness of it.
-: "Sorry.." Dan laughed and gripped Phil's hand. "Me and you. It's me and you know Phil. Phil and Dan..phan?" He smirked and cuddled close to him.
-: "Why're you so scared? Do you not want me to be near you?" He asked sadly and pulled away. "I'm sorry, I just wanted love.." He said childishly. "I don't get that. Mum ran away with a fucking pornstar and Dad fucks me!" He sobbed, finally breaking down.
+: Phil looked guilty, picking up his pen and quickly scribbling, 'I just don't like being touched'. He wanted now more than ever to hug Dan but it had been beaten out of him that hugs were a sign of goodness.
-: "Hugs don't hurt though." He sighed and crawled up to Phil's face so they were face to face. "Nor do kisses.." He mumbled almost incoherently.
+: Phil sat down in the back of the class, head down and his pen scratching a drawing in his ever-present notebook. He heard what people were saying about him, the weirdo, more into his imagination than reality. He looked up as the door opened and Dan Howell walked in. The Dan Howell. The most popular boy in school as his dad was a famous actor. Phil turned his page away from the picture of him surrounded by the names he had been called and started to sketch Dan.
-: "What's up weirdos!" That's how Dan greeted his friends but nobody corrected him. Throwing his bag in the corner, Dan sat down and smirked. "I have something by the way. Dad got it from America, some weird vodka:." He mumbled. He noticed Phil look up at him a few times and tapped his friends shoulder. "What's he up to that one?" He pointed to Phil.
+: The friend looked over and shrugged. "Not sure what emo's up too, he doesn't talk. I don't think I have ever heard him speak". Phil stopped looking up, he could hear what they were saying and he wanted it to stop. Phil was mute so he couldn't talk, but he had an amazing sense of hearing.
-: Dan sniggered and pulled the drink out before the teacher came. He opened it and took a big mouthful and smiled. "Shall I go ask him if he wants some?" Dan got up and pranced towards Phil and sat down by him with a thud. "Want some?" He shook the bottle in his face and grabbed the note book away from him. "What's this ey?" Dumping the bottle for Phil to hold, Dan flicked through the pages.
+: Phil looked up and tried to grab his notebook, barely catching the bottle before it could smash on his desk. He glared at Dan, annoyed at the invasion of privacy and grabbed his small whiteboard, writing 'Give it back!' on it.
-: Dan looked at the bottle and grabbed it away before it did smash. He threw the book down and frowned. "Was that me in that book? Why the fuck have you got a whiteboard?"
+: A look of hurt passed across his face as he scooped up the book, rubbing out his previous message to write 'Because I'm mute arsehole, learn to be a bit more considerate of other people's feelings'.
-: Dan read it and clenched his jaw. "Boys!" He called over and everyone, even the girls in the class came over to him. "Look what the emo kid said about me." He laughed and drank some more before shoving the drink in his friends hand to hide in his bag for later.
+: Phil rolled his eyes, rubbing off the message and sitting back down in his seat. He watched Dan evenly, before picking up the drawing and ripping it out of the notebook, only nice people deserved to be drawn and Dan was no where close.
-: Dan mock gasped. "Oh no!" He said sarcastically. "He's ripped me out of his little doodle book. How will I ever carry on!" He scoffed and stood up to sit on the desk Phil was sitting at. "Deaf boy is sad!"
+: 'I'm not deaf, I'm mute' Phil wrote, stopping himself from hitting Dan in the face with the message. He was really starting to get pissed off and soon he would snap.
-: "Same thing.." He said stupidly and laughed making everybody laugh too. "Whatever. I'm sitting with mute boy today.." He grinned and jumped off the table and sat by Phil as the teacher walked in and did the register.
+: 'Mute means I can't talk, deaf means I can't hear jerk' Phil wrote before putting up his hand when his name was called in the register.
-: "Stop being a bitch!" Dan growled in his ear. And took the board off him to write his own message. "What's your problem with me weirdo?" He wrote, handed the board back and put his feet up and the table and crossed his legs over.
+: 'My problem is your lack of knowledge or common sense' Phil wrote back annoyed. He wasn't sure how he was going to last an hour sat next to Dan but he couldn't let him win, that would be social suicide.
-: Dan grabbed the board back and wrote 'why'd you draw me then retard?' Dan wasn't told off by the teacher for putting his legs on the table. Of course not, she didn't want his famous daddy to get cross.
+: 'Because I was under the impression that you actually possessed a soul, I was wrong' Phil wrote back, fingers tapping on the table.
-: "What the hell do you mean!" He wrote back with a furrowed brow and a pout.
+: 'People with souls are nice, you are not ergo you do not own a soul' Phil wrote, you could almost see the sarcasm.
-: 'I am nice :)' he wrote back just as sarcastically. Dan never did any work and he deliberately prevented Phil from doing any until the bell.
+: Phil stood as soon as the bell went and packed up, annoyed that he had gotten no work done because Dan was being a bitch. He kept his whiteboard out and shoved past Dan as he walked out.
-: "Hey hey hey, where you off to?" Dan pulled Phil back and into the class room where he shut the door so it was him, Phil and the vodka. "No need to go to next lessons Mute boy. You can stay with moi!"
+: 'Fuck off Dan, you've ruined one lesson, please don't go for two' Phil wrote down, anger seething off of him.
-: Dan walked Phil and pushed him down on the floor and made him cross his legs. Dan sat down opposite him and pulled the vodka out and put it between them. "Don't tell me..I mean, don't write fuck off to me!"
+: 'You can't control what I write and not all of us have parents that can get us out of trouble!' Phil wrote, very aware that he was missing from Maths.
-: "My dad has nothing to do with this. I don't even like him." Dan growled and drank the vodka and offered some to Phil. "He's not all he seems to be in the movies. He's a cunt if I'm honest."
+: Phil refused the drink, shaking his head. 'Probably better than my dad' Phil wrote.
-: "Why?" Dan asked as he started to slur a bit. The alcohol was increasingly pulsing through his body. It was banned in this country for being too strong.
+: 'He believes that me being mute is my own fault' Phil wrote, which it was. Phil had just stopped talking about 4 years previous when his mother had died, meaning that his father grew shadowed and angry.
-: "What's wrong with you though? Are you like retarded?" Dan asked nastily although not meaning to be. He had a hard time at home, drinking and being mean was a front to make him feel good.
+: 'No, I just chose not to talk' Phil wrote, a look of hurt passing his face which vanished as quickly as it came.
-: "Can you talk to me though?.." He asked softly. Deciding he may as well break his front with Phil, Dan explained what life was like. "I'm not really like this. I'm a nice person it's just..I have to be like this so I can fight against my dad. He got me into drinking and he..he does things to me."
+: 'Like what? And I honestly don't know, it's been so long I don't even remember my own voice' Phil wrote honestly.
-: "It doesn't matter what he does." Dan mumbled and drank some more and became dizzy.
+: Phil watched Dan carefully, head cocked to one side. 'It does if it's illegal'.
-: Dan looked down at the floor and out the vodka down. "He get me drunk and..does things. I'm 16 it doesn't matter.."
+: 'It does Dan, it does' Phil knew exactly what Dan was hinting at, his father wasn't as bad by comparison, he just beat Phil but Dan's father sounded like someone who deserved a life in jail, not one of glamour.
-: "Do you know what Im even talking about?" Dan asked, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "It makes me feel dirty and worthless."
+: 'I can guess, Dan that's not right' Phil carefully placed a hand on Dan's shoulder, it making his sleeve ride up and show bruises.
-: Dan flinched away and hid his face away from Phil. "I deserve it. Look how horrible I am. He tells me I deserve the abuse so I'm 'ready for it in later life.' He took..my..virg-" Dan stopped before he said too much.
+: Phil retracted his hand, subconsciously pulling his sleeves back down. 'Dan you need to tell the police, he's a molester' Phil wrote the word out carefully, watching for Dan's reaction.
-: Dan whimpered and shook his head. "It'll ruin everything. I can't. It's gone on for as long as I can remember.." He took another big mouthful of drink and pulled his shirt up to reveal his hips. There were hand marks where he'd been forced to stay still.
+: 'Dan I can't just sit around and watch someone be taken advantage of, no matter what status they hold' Phil wrote down, hand shaking slightly.
-: "Please. Please don't say anything.." Dan pleaded and knelt up and held onto Phil's shoulders. "Please, I don't mind the..the rape. It's the beating that hurt because I'm used to the pain from the forced ana- I mean.." Dan mumbled and squeezed the other boys shoulders.
+: Phil squeaked at the contact, going stock still. He hated being touched for the same reasons, the beatings. He nodded, eyes wide.
-: "I'm not going to hurt you.." Dan shook his head and sat closer to Phil, holding his hands. "You get beat too don't you? I can tell. Do you..does your dad touch you..?"
+: 'Sometimes' Phil wrote softly, small tears falling down his face.
-: "He raped you?" Dan asked in a shocked tone. He felt awful for being mean to the boy. "Or just beats you?" Dan hugged Phil tightly and wrapped his arms around his waist as the sat with their legs out beside each other. In a row boat position.
+: Phil nodded, he had dropped the pen. He was so scared about Dan's proximity and his knowledge.
+: "So he does beat you but not rape? Phil, I won't hurt you." He reassured and stroked the pad of his thumb over Phils cheek to dry his tear. The vodka was put away before Dan got too visibly drunk.
-: Phil nodded again, though his face gave away his fear.
+: "Why're you so scared? Do you not want me to be near you?" He asked sadly and pulled away. "I'm sorry, I just wanted love.." He said childishly. "I don't get that. Mum ran away with a fucking pornstar and Dad fucks me!" He sobbed, finally breaking down.
+: Phil looked guilty, picking up his pen and quickly scribbling, 'I just don't like being touched'. He wanted now more than ever to hug Dan but it had been beaten out of him that hugs were a sign of goodness.
-: "Hugs don't hurt though." He sighed and crawled up to Phil's face so they were face to face. "Nor do kisses.." He mumbled almost incoherently.
+: Phil nodded, eyes locking with Dan's which he could see from their proximity were a chocolate brown.
-: Dan relaxed his arms and sat back on his legs so he was kneeling in front of Phil. He lites his hand up and put it behind Phil's neck. "I'm so sorry for everything." He slightly slurred. "I'm a sick bastard. I deserve what I get, you don't. You've got talent. Your drawing are beautiful, like your eyes."
+: 'I forgive you' Phil wrote down. 'I'm not talented and my eyes aren't beautiful' he added.
-: Dan rubbed out the board and wrote. "You're perfect." Retuning his hand to the back of Phil's neck Dan spoke. "Say my name? Try and say Dan."
+: "D-an" Phil forced out, it croaky and broken from lack of use.
-: Dan smiled, a happy smile that he'd never used before. He pulled in Phil's head and kissed his lips. Taking his bottom lip, Dan placed it between his top and bottom lips. He then turned his head so their noses did not bump together.
+: Phil smiled too, happy at the contact. It was the most love someone had shown him since his mother had died. He also was taken back that he had managed to actually speak, it scared him slightly.
-: Pushing Phil down to lean on his elbows, Dan gently leaned over him and deepened the kiss and made it full of lost love.
+: Phil kissed back with equal power, hand coming up to caress Dan's face.
-: Pushing him flat to the floor, Dan knelt over the boy and moved his lips down his neck and back to reconnect their lips. His hands kept him up right and then he pulled away. "I'm sorry.."
+: Phil nodded, he wasn't sure he could continually speak, at least not yet.
-: "Do you like me? As in would you want to do that again?" He asked awkwardly. The only sexual contact, apart from his dad he'd had was slutty one night stands with men twice his age when he got drunk and stumbled out the house.
+: Phil nodded, a small shy smile crossing his face.
-: "Good." He grinned and pulled Phil off the floor. "Kisses don't hurt." Dan smiled wildly. "We can get through this together."
