GACKT Blog (13 July 2016): From Blomaga Editor's Notes (Blomaga Issue 134)
DEAR MY G-LOVERS
My voice can be heard
on GACKT Blomaga so,
those who want to read it all, check out the Blomaga
※This article is an excerpt from the
“GACKT's Trashy Stories” corner in the Blomaga.
【Delivered thrice a month】
http://ch.nicovideo.jp/channel/gackt
With regards to the use of the images from the GACKT Official Blog, they cannot be used for commercial means, adult sites, or prompts linking to other sites,
use in news sites, reproduction on personal blogs or SNS are authorised.
In such cases please indicate【GACKTオフィシャルブログ GACKT.com より転載】(GACKT Official Blog GACKT.com All rights reserved). However, if our company deems your site to be inappropriate, posting will be immediately prohibited.
(c)G-PRO inc.
I was thinking as I put my hands together at the grave.
It's been 17 years since I've gone solo,
and likewise it's been 17 years since he passed.
I've grown older by yet another year.
All in the blink of an eye.
Even for this long LAST VISUALIVE tour,
the curtains have closed safely on the Japan performances
following July 2, and 3's
2 days at the Saitama Super Arena.
To all the many LOVERS
who celebrated this GACKT's birthday
on both days,
I want to send you my sincere feelings of gratitude.
And,
also to the LOVERS
who sent their many wishes
even if they couldn't come and attend,
I want to send you these same feelings of gratitude.
Truly, thank you.
Before I realise it, it happens in a flash.
He, who was a year older than me,
is now much younger than I am.
『Time flies, it's already been 17 years...
I'm turning 43 this year』
My words flowed out before him.
During my 20s,
I used to think
【birthdays are pretty meaningless...】.
However,
since I entered by 30s, the importance
of the meaning of growing older has started to resonate more in me.
Overseas,
people tend to say things like
｢Age is just a number｣ but,
I don't think so.
These number of years represent an important number
that speak of your own history up until this point.
For those who are earnestly running through life,
I believe that they won't see it
as just another number.
Before performing this time's last performance,
the last of the hall tour
was held for 2 days in my hometown Okinawa.
We entered the local area few days before the Okinawa performances,
and together with 30 people, including band members, dancers, and staff,
we carried out grave cleaning for the whole family
for 3 hours under the blazing hot sun.
Since it would be the first time I've returned in awhile,
I decided to first do cleaning and reset my mind
before going for the live.
Then,
my band members and dancers
said that they would help with that
and also came to Okinawa a few days early.
Actually, 3 hours after we started cleaning,
while getting drenched in sweat,
I was laughing a little at how desperate we became.
Cleaning for dear life in this manner is not normal.
However,
me desperately besieging even the smallest bit of dirt
is really hilarious.
Maybe because there was that,
everyone could reorganise their feelings properly
and bring out the best live in my hometown Okinawa.
In that sense,
performing a live in Okinawa
holds a lot of meaning
for myself.
Previously,
when I came back to Okinawa
for the VISUALIVE 7 years ago,
my grandmother, whose body was weakening,
made her way to my live with support.
And,
after the live ended, she said
『Although Gaku's fans are watching,
the inelegant side can't be shown!』
and walked out of the concert venue on her own.
That's my indescribably proud grandmother.
I loved that grandmother of mine.
And,
I wanted to show my grandmother this time's live too.
I wanted to send her lots of energy.
But,
grandmother's body could not hold on until this tour.
Last year,
she passed at the age of 105 but,
『She'd definitely have watched from somewhere in the venue...
She would be delighted, for sure』
At the casual words from my older sister, tears came out.
After we were done with cleaning the graves,
I could feel a deeper meaning
behind putting my hands together for my ancestors
year after year.
It was a strange feeling.
At the end, with my hands together,
I wanted to convey some thoughts to them but,
oddly enough no words came to mind.
Instead,
it was as if there was an empty gaping hole...
It made me think
『So this is how it feels to be free of thoughts...』,
as I continued to put my hands together
without anything coming to mind.
I was unable to cast any words their way,
feelig nothing but,
the strange sensation
of a blank mind with when praying.
After that,
while watching everyone with their hands put together from behind
『Until when can I keep doing this...』
was the thought that crossed my mind.
After everyone had prayed,
I was asked to say something but I was unable to put anything into words well
and when I looked up to the sky,
the word【Family】
suddenly descended on me.
【Family】
It is not simply
because we have gone through a tough tour together
that we can become family.
We sweat with all our efforts,
sometimes we bleed,
dedicate ourselves to reach our aim,
and run together as we look to the same goal.
Putting it in words,
it sounds simple but
to repeat and sustain that everyday,
and build those feelings stronger
is, in reality, difficult.
My right hand man, and the eldest of the masseuses
said something to me in the past that I still strongly recall now.
Right after the 2011 earthquake disaster,
when we've yet to fully grasp the state of the disaster area,
when we've yet to fully understand
the effects of radiation among other things,
he was the one who volunteered
to deliver supplies to the disaster area.
『Waka, for me.
I feel that through this I can truly become a part of Waka's Family.
Family (家族 - kazoku) is different from this Family (ファミリー - famiri).
Kazoku is made of people with the same blood as you.
Family (ファミリー) is made of the people you love
who you'd be willing to bleed for.
Well, I'm leaving...
I'll deliver Waka's feelings to them』
It was something that happened right after the terrible earthquake,
in the midst of moving without rest or sleep.
The friends who have always stuck close
even in tough spots
and no matter the situation
have now become family (ファミリー).
And now,
the tour has ended without incident.
Maybe it can't be said that it was without incident
but we managed to get here by the skin of our teeth.
My body too somehow managed to wait for this.
At the end I was doing it with only my willpower.
Maybe its because I went past the peak of my exhaustion,
or maybe there were other causes at play too,
on both my skin and in my internal organs,
the damage was steadily showing itself.
However,
I don't have time to spend whining about it.
In any case,
there were just a few more...
so I summoned up my willpower to face them.
And when it came to an end,
I collapsed from exhaustion.
There is something that I have decided on a long time ago.
【If I can't do it anymore halfway through, I'll retire immediately】
Going up on stage is,
to me, having the resolution to do just that.
That's why,
in my training and my self-management too,
if I don't face everything seriously
this body will quickly become useless.
In the first place,
my body isn't strong.
When I was a child,
I was often in the hospital.
In the past,
I used to think「Why is it only me
who has such a weak body?」
and I used to hate my parents for that.
Instead, now,
there are even times
when I am thankful for the weakness of this body.
It is because it was weak,
that I have been able to understand many things.
It is because of this body
that I can properly do
what I have to do everyday.
If I led a sloppy lifestyle,
it'll soon become useless.
I am aware
of the weakness of my own mind.
Until I was 19 years old, I blamed
my lack of initiative, my various failures,
my lack of effort in the things I do,
and just about everything else,
on the weakness of my own body as an excuse.
Right now, its different.
It is because of my body being weak,
that I can understand the feelings of a weak person's.
It is because I am weak,
that I am keenly and acutely aware
of the things that I have to put effort into doing,
that I am able to continue doing them.
My eating habits have to be strictly controlled as well
otherwise I'll become no good.
If I go with the lifestyle habit
of only eating whatever I like,
in the blink of an eye everything will go up in smoke.
It is likely,
that the people with strong bodies
have never had to confront their own bodies
up till now in their lives.
For a period of time,
even if they stopped doing something
they probably never had to restrict their diets for over 20 years,
can eat the foods they like whenever they want,
if they grew fatter they can just lose a little weight... I guess its something like that.
For myself too,
if my body could be strong
I would definitely do that
because I think that it's only natural for it to be that way.
In the past,
a close friend of mine said something nonchalant
that I still remember today.
My close friend who saw that instead of breakfast,
I was taking a large amount of vitamins and mineral supplements,
and drinking juice
made from a slow juicer
began laughing and said this to me.
「Ahahaha, are you eating rabbit food?」
He probably didn't mean to cause hurt
with what he said though.
But,
even I thought that this appearance of mine
really was like a rabbit...
and it made me feel miserable.
Even now,
friends who visit before training
will definitely say this when they see that breakfast of mine.
「Is that all?」
Yeah, that's all.
Just like this, without my body
taking in too many meals,
I've been in a constantly depleted state of insufficiency for 23 years.
Even now there are many things that I restrict myself from.
I don't think that this is strange.
Recently,
my eating habits have taken on a little more enjoyable style,
its called the【Silicon Valley Diet】,
and is said to be the the latest dietary style.
From my point of view,
I think its just right
for a person to always be in a state of lacking something.
This doesn't only refer to food,
but also the continued motivation for your own desire.
If it was satisfied or fulfilled,
you'd quickly not want to aim to go higher.
You'll become lazy.
That's why,
this is just right.
I'm fine with this body.
I'm fine with my way of life.
From around the time I passed the age of 30,
I started to be able to think in this way,
and now celebrating my 43rd year,
I can praise myself more this year than last.
Little by little I no longer hate
but instead I face it and have lived.
And,
many of my friends
and family are celebrating with this me.
To me,
there is nothing that can be happier than this.
The day after celebrating my birthday,
I put my hands together at his grave
and the words flowed out again.
「It's already been 17 years...」
“Success is not a destination,
but the road that you're on.
Being successful means that you're working hard
and walking your walk every day.
You can only live your dream by working hard towards it.
That's living your dream.”
I'll work a little harder.
Because there are still things
that I have to do.
GACKT Blog (22 June 2016): From Blomaga Editor's Notes (Blomaga Issue 133)
DEAR MY G-LOVERS
My voice can be heard
on GACKT Blomaga so,
those who want to read it all, check out the Blomaga
※This article is an excerpt from the
“GACKT's Trashy Stories” corner in the Blomaga.
【Delivered thrice a month】
http://ch.nicovideo.jp/channel/gackt
With regards to the use of the images from the GACKT Official Blog, they cannot be used for commercial means, adult sites, or prompts linking to other sites,
use in news sites, reproduction on personal blogs or SNS are authorised.
In such cases please indicate【GACKTオフィシャルブログ GACKT.com より転載】(GACKT Official Blog GACKT.com All rights reserved). However, if our company deems your site to be inappropriate, posting will be immediately prohibited.
(c)G-PRO inc.
We arrived at the tour's final location,
my hometown Okinawa.
In just another 2 weeks,
I'll grow older by another year.
It's fast...
In the blink of an eye
time passes just like that.
During the period from my birthday last year until today,
looking back,
I've been constantly caught up
in work related to this Last Visualive.
We're also close to welcoming
the end of the Japan tour for this Last Visualive.
Yesterday's Kagoshima performance,
was made possible through the cooperation with lots of strong friends,
who made it possible to quickly make preparations
to transfer the cancelled Kumamoto performance over.
Truly,
many friends are always helping me out in this manner.
It's something I'm grateful for.
A person can't survive
by constantly leaning on others.
However,
you can't survive alone either.
I've realised that with my feet firmly on the ground,
if I encounter difficultties
and just grit my teeth and continue running forward,
when I glance to the side,
there will be guys who are beside me
gritting their teeth and running with me.
At that point,
we will feel sympathy for some reason,
and we will acknowledge each other.
Then,
after that, when you lend each other strength,
oftentimes they will become precious friends to you.
When you further grit your teeth and keep running,
just a little ahead of you,
a mentor (senpai) of life will appear, smiling and waving to you.
They aren't there to drag someone further forward,
they're just there to tell their juniors (kouhai) who reached that point
『good work』
with a smile.
Each of their words are exceptionally warm,
and then,
they let you realise
that the place you just arrived at isn't the goal
and that it's only the start line.
However,
from there, most life mentors
will teach you how to run,
occasionally they will even kick your ass
or give you pep talks.
Their words are very strict and pertinent
so sometimes, you'll even feel biting pain from it.
However,
if you can firmly recognise
that their words
aren't said to just anyone,
you'll be able to sincerely listen to them no matter what they say
and realise that the doors of your heart naturally open up.
『Was I really a person
who was so willing to listen to others...?』
It's also natural
that you'll surprise yourself.
Life,
is really a series of surprises.
And by the time you realise it
you've already reached this age.
There are times when I feel like
the 26 year-old me is just from a few days ago.
Life passes in the blink of an eye.
That's why,
don't live your life in a way that will cause you regret.
People often
say to me
【you're living life too fast】.
For myself,
I've never thought that to be true even once.
I'm not living too fast.
Rather, isn't it the ones who came up with this phrase,
who appear to think
that time continues eternally for them...
If,
you came to know that you'll die one year later
how will you spend your remaining time?
That's how I live.
Before I reached 30,
I thought
that I'll meet the end of my life at 30.
The words that were said when I was a sickly child
have always stuck with me.
If I got into detail about that it'll become a long story
so I'll leave that for another time but,
until the time I reached 30,
I was really afraid of dying.
I wanted to clarify
the vague image of death so I thought about it a lot,
and much of my work
was written with death as the theme.
And then,
when I celebrated my 30th birthday
I encountered new feelings.
The fear surrounding that day completely disappeared.
『I managed to live until now...』
The feelings of anxiety that had been stuck in my chest for so long
had disappeared.
And from there,
with the thought that it's alright whenever the end comes
I decided in my heart
『In any case, everything I want to do,
I'll do as many as I can』.
On that day, the rest of my life began.
Counting up, I'll be celebrating the 13th year of the rest of my life next.
To other people, it may seem like
I live life recklessly.
But I'm enjoying my own way of life.
Suffer a lot
enjoy a lot,
and no matter what kind of hardship crops up,
keep running forward
with the confidence that when we look back at it
it'll become another story to laugh about.
Every part of the body,
has become bruised and battered.
I definitely can't become optimistic about the pain in my back.
But,
this pain is also my fortune.
The late Ogata Ken-san
said this
even as he suffered from cancer.
｢The pain in your body
should not be made your enemy,
but should be accepted as part of yourself,
as something you walk on together with. That is life｣
Now
I've come to understand a little more
the words that Father said.
Having come back for the first time in awhile,
Okinawa's sea breeze feels great.
"Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. Death is always at our side.
When we show fear.
it jumps at us faster than light, but if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity..."
GACKT Blog (10 June 2016): From Blomaga Editor's Notes (Blomaga Issue 132)
DEAR MY G-LOVERS
My voice can be heard
on GACKT Blomaga so,
those who want to read it all, check out the Blomaga
※This article is an excerpt from the
“GACKT's Trashy Stories” corner in the Blomaga.
【Delivered thrice a month】
http://ch.nicovideo.jp/channel/gackt
With regards to the use of the images from the GACKT Official Blog, they cannot be used for commercial means, adult sites, or prompts linking to other sites,
use in news sites, reproduction on personal blogs or SNS are authorised.
In such cases please indicate【GACKTオフィシャルブログ GACKT.com より転載】(GACKT Official Blog GACKT.com All rights reserved). However, if our company deems your site to be inappropriate, posting will be immediately prohibited.
(c)G-PRO inc.
The LAST VISUALIVE JAPAN TOUR
is left with 10 shows until it ends,
and the only place left in the Kanto region,
is Saitama Super Arena.
From tomorrow,
we'll be going through the Hiroshima live and head straight towards Okinawa.
On such a night, I can strongly feel the fact that
the speed at which this body is recovering at
is on the contrary, steadily failing to keep up with
the growing excitement.
Although my body is exhausted,
I couldn't sleep at all.
Maybe because my immunity has dropped
a rash broke out,
and the aches in my body wouldn't heal,
in any case it was a long night.
『After this tour ends,
what are you planning to do?』
Recently, I've been asked this question a lot but,
honestly,
I've not thought of anything as of now.
Right now what I have to do
is to finish this without problems so
what comes after that,
I've always decided to only think about it after finishing this.
Honestly,
I've felt that it's physically demanding
during the tour
more than once or twice.
I've felt like I want to end the tour early but,
when witnessing
the actual end of it in reality,
an indescribable feeling of loneliness wells up.
As we made our way to this point in time,
from the harsh trainings in the mornings
to the review meetings late at night,
I believe that the members, and dancers,
who grit their teeth through it all everyday,
feel the same way too.
Only 9 performances left.
Everyone's bodies too, from an early stage
is in a pretty good finished state,
and further more, during the tour period,
they continued giving their all without compromising,
and now, everyone's bodies have really become wonderful.
Because I think that not one person was lacking,
thanks to everyone supporting each other
while withstanding reprimands until this point,
and everyone also wanted to show you an elevated world.
In order to deliver the best work,
we steadily increase the quality of our work through the best bodies and spirits.
Saying it sounds really easy but,
in reality you need an inordinate amount of time and perseverance.
If you think of cutting corners,
there are lots that can be cut.
If we were just aiming for an enjoyable live
we probably don't need to push ourselves to this extent.
It was like everyone was possessed,
to not want to lose to any other artiste,
to feel that they ought to deliver the best performance
of a world that they can feel proud of from the bottom of their hearts,
and they've been doing this without holding back
on the amount of effort that they put in, an amount that only makes sense to themselves.
That's why I can say this.
That we're
【the best and strongest family】.
There are a lot of staff members,
who have followed us together through the tough schedule.
The journey of the tour is definitely not an easy one.
Each person has their own responsibilities
and they fulfil their responsibilities that they have to.
This probably sounds like common sense but,
the saying that people who lose interest will appear in a long journey
is not a strange one.
Much less,
you can say that it is only normal
that those who run out of steam, or lose the feeling of tension
are bound to appear with such a large number of people involved.
In the past, when I shared this same thought,
I had been betrayed before
those by those who agreed with me.
In the end,
the reason why they somehow lose their tension,
could have been because of me GACKT.
Another one thing I learned in these 17 years
is that being only kind and gentle is of no use either.
At any time, always,
having the pride of being associated with GACKT and
the responsibility, and being conscious of it,
is the pride of being a family.
Those who can proudly speak of that tension,
are now my close friends.
The other day,
in the live venue,
I conducted a surprise drug test for us all together.
I thought that when they hear this phrase,
I might feel something like a heavy
and severe atmosphere drifting in the venue but,
instead it was the opposite.
Everyone said the same thing.
『If anyone does something that stupid, they aren't family』
Instead, it was a funny scene where the atmosphere
was one with laughter.
Friends or companions,
its not that I do not believe in my own members or my team
but instead it is because I trust them that
I always do these things unannounced.
We won't betray you.
Dealing with drugs,
is nothing but betrayal to us.
My heart aches and I feel a righteous indignation
when artistes or entertainers
somehow get implicated with drugs,
and at the waves in media.
However,
I am really infuriated
with artistes or athletes
who were actually caught with drugs.
『As someone who stands in front of others, what on earth are you doing!!』
It has nothing to do at all
with whatever personal accomplishments
they have had in the past,
or how wonderful a person they are.
This is nothing but an act of betrayal
to the fans who support you.
In the first place,
there has to be a strong relationship of trust
built between the fans and the artiste.
It is the same as us
desperately training our physical bodies and our spirits
day after day
since even before the live started.
It's all because we don't want to betray your expectations.
No,
instead, it's about you.
How far we can exceed
the expectations of us is,
based on the circumstances
of GACKT
and the people who are involved with GACKT.
That is the unspoken rule of GACKTJOB
and the GACKT family,
and on it,
our unity as a family grows even stronger.
Well then,
I'll run swiftly
to wherever I can get to with the remaining lives.
Even if,
this body can't move anymore.
“Respect is earned.
Honesty is appreciated.
Trust is gained.
Loyalty is returned.
I am GACKT.”
Wait for me.
Because I'll deliver to you
the best smile
with the best work.
GACKT Blog (31 May 2016): From Blomaga Editor's Notes (Blomaga Issue 131)
DEAR MY G-LOVERS
My voice can be heard
on GACKT Blomaga so,
those who want to read it all, check out the Blomaga
※This article is an excerpt from the
“GACKT's Trashy Stories” corner in the Blomaga.
【Delivered thrice a month】
http://ch.nicovideo.jp/channel/gackt
With regards to the use of the images from the GACKT Official Blog, they cannot be used for commercial means, adult sites, or prompts linking to other sites,
use in news sites, reproduction on personal blogs or SNS are authorised.
In such cases please indicate【GACKTオフィシャルブログ GACKT.com より転載】(GACKT Official Blog GACKT.com All rights reserved). However, if our company deems your site to be inappropriate, posting will be immediately prohibited.
(c)G-PRO inc.
Well then,
consecutive days of lives continues to surge at us but,
we somehow managed to survive.
The sight of you shouting out,
pushes me forward.
Right now I've completely lost my voice but,
I think it'll return
within these few days before the next live.
Just the other day,
during my 3 days of free time
I engaged in a bit of light work in Taiwan but,
my spirit was refreshed.
I finished my work in the afternoon,
and at night I met my friends
and had a meal.
That was all I did but
I managed to reset
my mind that has been in a mess.
Just by strolling in the city
on my own,
just by taking in the interesting sights,
the me who stood there for an hour
watching my surroundings
probably changed...
I guess
they've always wanted
to capture this building in a picture.
I kept watching
a couple who spent close to 40 minutes taking photos.
Maybe some kind of desire
grew in me as well.
I don't really know.
In this way, I made time
to renew myself.
In the time spent with friends,
hints were born from our conversation
and became yet another spark for creating a new business.
Thinking about it over and over again,
doing work that is outside of the music, too,
started soon after I went solo.
Initially I failed,
and oftentimes I couldn't
I couldn't put things together well too.
Now,
I'm able to
build things up accordingly
in a range of various businesses.
One reason for this and what kick started this,
more than anything,
is because I poignantly felt
the decline of the music industry around the year 2000.
The recording companies which were drowning in the CD bubble,
and the producers,
only looks deeply into the productivity levels of music output,
and instead of creating musicians who can compete and win at concerts,
they created musicians made of hype and commercials.
Feeling extremely foreign to that in that time
was what pushed me to move into other businesses.
『This movement is insane...
It'll definitely collapse...』
That was what I felt.
At the same time,
the feeling that 【CDs will disappear】
I felt right in the middle of the CD bubble,
also came true.
In other words,
it was my prediction
that musicians will be significantly
unable to make a living just by selling CDs.
At that time, many musicians
were simply going all out
to sell as many CDs as possible.
For myself, before I became part of a recording company,
I indeed did make CDs but
I already had no interest at all
in the act of 【selling CDs】.
Because it doesn't tie in at all
with the future of creativity.
Instead my music,
has a more core direction,
can be said to be eccentric,
is music that I take seriously,
and something that isn't made
for the aim of karaoke at all.
Of course,
that is also reflected in the CD sales.
But,
I don't think
that that is a mistake on my part.
Because instead of making songs that aim to sell well,
I believe that there is significant meaning
in writing songs that only I can create instead.
【I can just earn money from other businesses】
That was the answer that I gave.
It can be said that reaching that conclusion,
is in the making of the present me.
Because there was that point in time,
because that decision was made,
that I can make the music that I want to leave behind
and fully create the stage that others will call crazy
in this way.
I also have to thank a fair number of friends
who feel the same as me.
Many office musicians, as expected,
are chasing after sales.
If you're saying that it's normal, it is but...
With that method of doing things, that way of thought,
I might have disappeared long ago.
Even now, like this,
the creation of the LAST VISUALIVE
is the result of spending that unbelievable amount of time,
pushing through with our convictions,
the friends who believed in this,
and all of you being here for me
and believing that GACKT is fine as he is.
I'm often called 【eccentric】 but,
that recognition to me is not really there.
Rather,
when people around me look at me
there are actually more who think
｢How odd...｣.
Well,
to me myself,
if I can live without feeling uncomfortable
anything that people around me say about me
is a good thing though.
The world is an interesting place,
but in any case, there is a tendency for people
to attack minorities who are different than themselves.
If there are people who are concerned about that,
then there's nothing to be worried about.
There's no need to be the same as those around you.
What's important is to make sure and believe that your way of living
is not wrong,
and be confident about it.
If around you, there is someone
who says things like
｢I want to live like the people around you!｣ to you
maybe you're not smiling enough yourself.
“Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something.
It is our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit”
Live with a smile.
With a wonderful smile.
If you do that, people like those will disappear too.
From the Blog Magazine Editor’s Notes (Blog Magazine Issue 130 Excerpt)
After the show finished,
I realized that I had totally lost my voice.
Would it be back before the next show...?
No one knows that, including myself.
The VISUALIVE
is like an evil spirit that drains my time and strength.
I look at my exhausted self in the mirror.
It doesn't seem like I'll be able to move for a while.
But nevertheless,
my reflection is smiling.
Why is it that even in these situations,
I can't stop smiling?
It took 7 years from the previous VISUALIVE RR2 (Requiem et Reminiscence II) to begin this LAST VISUALIVE.
But now that the tour has started,
it's already half way over.
In the blink of an eye...
Our work is like opening a tunnel.
Digging a tunnel also takes a lot of time and hard work.
It doesn't just require a lot of planning time,
once you begin the actual work,
there are lots of delays
and you have to be very careful to prevent accidents.
But once you've finished the tunnel,
actually passing through it takes so little time
compared to remembering how long it too and how much work
that nobody notices how many people worked on it or how much love went into it.
I like driving,
and every time I go through a tunnel
I get a pang in my chest thinking about it.
It's because I compare it to my own work.
It resembles my work a lot.
I do the planning and production for my shows
by myself from scratch,
so I've become able to create one of a kind works
that no other artist can imitate.
But the time I've devoted to it has been immense.
And even the unbelievably busy time I spent
before the LAST VISUALIVE began
and the conversations with staff who were looking murderous,
now there are a lot of people who feel like it was a long time ago,
like "Oh yeah, that happened..."
The sense of time passing during this tour
is that overwhelmingly fast.
That's probably because
each and every show,
from when I enter the venue to when it ends
I want to make it a unique, awesome, high quality show,
and everyone forgets their sense of time
working frantically to put each show together.
When the show ends,
my body won't move at all, like I'm dead.
I guess this is what they call "complete exhaustion"...
I think, as I look at my body that won't move.
It might sound like I'm exaggerating,
but I think this is a normal thing.
Other artists say that I'm overstating it,
but they probably are blessed with more strength
or ability than I am.
It's a wonderful thing.
Unfortunately, I don't have that much leeway.
I collapse during the shows,
and each time I lose consciousness,
when I open my eyes again
I always have to ask how much time has passed.
It will end after 20 more shows...
When I think about it, a lonely feeling I don't quite understand wells up.
When I think about the fatigue from the shows,
normally I should feel a sense of relief,
but when I think that it's going to end,
it's like... what I worked so hard to create will be gone.
I guess you'd call it a feeling of loss...
Before I leave the venue after the show,
I always go to see the team that dismantles the stage.
With a feeling I can't describe,
I call out to my friends who are working.
In this way,
we build the shows one by one,
then take it to bits
and move it to the next venue.
Anyway,
now, we're raising the quality of this work, "Saigo no Tsuki"
as far as we can,
and,
doing enagic* shows that will remain in the hearts
of those who have experienced this work for the rest of their lives.
[*written in katakana as if it were an English loanword, but I can't find any definition for this, though it is used as a company's name in Japan. Possible mistyping?]
I have complicated feelings
but I guess the reason that I can't help smiling
is definitely because the image of you guys who came to see it
wells up in my mind.
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”
Until I lose my voice,
until my life runs out...
I'm happy to feel this way.
Anyway, I will rise.
As high as I can.
GACKT Blog (21 Apr 2016): From Blomaga Editor's Notes (Blomaga Issue 129)
DEAR MY G-LOVERS
My voice can be heard
on GACKT Blomaga so,
those who want to read it all, check out the Blomaga
※This article is an excerpt from the
“GACKT's Trashy Stories” corner in the Blomaga.
【Delivered thrice a month】
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Finally,
a long day has ended.
Today, since morning, I had the guerilla live at Shinjuku,
TV interviews,
a radio appearance,
promotions,
meetings...
Its been one hectic day.
Since morning,
I felt like I was pretty much saved
by the high-tensioned members' grooves.
Maybe its because we're in the middle of a tour,
or maybe its because my body isn't at its best condition,
but I've been completely unable to recover from fatigue.
In other words,
I'm in a strange state where I keep feeling sleepy
but am unable to fall asleep.
We gathered in the office,
and everyone had their own make-up done.
I think the members still have fatigue accumulated as well but,
they didn't exhibit signs of it, possibly because of the guerilla live,
but I could see a slight tension in them.
When I peeked through the bus window
Shinjuku station, which I had not seen in awhile, was before my eyes.
『I wonder how long it's been...』
I don't really come to Shinjuku.
I've asked for the details of the location but,
nothing comes to mind.
『I often come to the altar!』
my staff said but
in the first place, I have absolutely no idea
where the altar is...
I still have a terrible sense of direction.
Its something I still can't cure.
The staff came to report the situation outside.
『Lots of people are outside.
And furthermore, its hot!!』
I'm glad that lots of people are willing to come and see me.
Although since its hot outside I don't know how long they will take it...
I worried about that in the bus.
Of course,
the performance will last for at most
a short 15 minutes but,
I became worried, will my eyes hold up under the direct sunlight...
Then it was finally time
to move to the tent behind the stage for the final preparations.
Of course,
we've been paying close attention
to make sure that chaos doesn't arise though.
We can't fall behind schedule.
In today's Japan, it's almost an impossibility
to hold a guerilla live.
Of course,
I understand that regulations were put in place due to various reasons.
However,
I always have doubts as to
whether that is really right or not.
Japan's music scene has been steadily declining.
We now cannot
play music in the middle of the streets like before,
and enjoyable things are getting more and more regulated.
I wonder if that is really the correct 『path that Japan has to walk down』?
This time,
while this is to commemorate the album's release,
it is also to commemorate the launch of the barista that I collaborated with Nestle on.
In the middle of that, this time's earthquakes occurred.
Of course,
when I asked whether there was something that Nestle could do,
they gladly agreed
to donate all of the sales proceeds from this time's barista
to the earthquake disaster reconstruction efforts.
And,
the good news about the barista
is that it sold out the moment the announcement was made.
I don't know how it was handled through the media.
It could even be
that the news was delivered with a distorted view.
Its just something I hoped for.
That is something
that I want everyone who is living in Japan to understand.
There are people who are victims of this earthquake.
This isn't someone else's affair.
This is related to all of us.
We are a family who are all living together in the same home, Japan.
You don't need to do big things.
You don't have to overdo things either.
Simply, just,
anything that you can do yourself is enough,
I just hope that you will make a move to do something.
That's all.
If you reach out to help someone,
someone else definitely will reach out to help you too
if you're ever in trouble.
That's what it is.
Karma,
does not only refer to negative meanings.
The things that you do
will definitely be returned to you.
That's what it means.
“Love is not patronizing and charity isn't about pity,
it is about love. Charity and love are the same –
with charity you give love, so don't just give money
but reach out your hand instead”
Just a small action from you
can bring a smile to someone's face.
Don't you think that this is wonderful?
GACKT
