Great Adventures, Faces in Condensation
You'd think that seeing family for the first time in a little under a decade would be REALLY awkward. But when you finished that LONG bus ride you greeted each other with the same amount of awkwardness you would a stranger. You also had that familial bond that close relatives have.
It was almost like something was pulling you together and saying 'protect each other'. But that's silly.
However that does bring us here, to your cousin, Dipper, trying to convince you that his sister, Mabel's boyfriend is a zombie.
"Personally, I'm not worried him potentially being a zombie. I'm worried about his age!" you countered "I mean come on he's at the very least three years older, that's way too big of an age difference for... um, someone your age. And, honestly he's probably WAY older than that. I'm surprised Great Uncle Stanford hasn't chased him down with a shotgun yet."
"Three years isn't that big of an age difference..."
"Seriously, Dipper?" you tilt your head to the left "Ugh, whatever, I need to get back downstairs before Stan realizes I've stopped forging inspection letters."
You're heading down the stairs when Great Uncle Stanford yells for Soos and you hear Soos come down the stairs.
"Hey, uh, dude! Uh, why'd ya call Mr. Pines 'Great Uncle Stanford'"
"Um, out of respect, I guess?"
"But, uh, dude, Mr. Pines said he doesn't like to be called Stanford."
"Huh, I'll keep that in mind."
You, after around forty minutes of forgery and hanging up said forgery around the tourist attraction, put your arms on your lower back and leaned all the way backwards in an attempt to pop your spine.
You turn your head towards the hallway window, lean back, and you glance back toward Great Uncle Stanf-, Stan to see him hypnotizing not only his customers but also himself. You took the chance and walked outside. Just in time to turn a corner and see a gnome(?) trying to kiss your cousin in front of a giant gnome(?) and Dipper.
"What the-?" you whisper in disbelief
Mabel reaches into the bush behind herself and, quicker than you could even consider blinking, grabbed a leaf blower from it. She sucked the gnome up with it.
"Hey, hey, wait a minute!" the gnome desperately attempted to scamper away, "Whoah, what's going on? Ahh!"
"That's for lying to me! That's for breaking my heart!" Mabel increased the suction on the leaf blower as she ranted
"Ow! My face!" he complains
"And this is for messing with my brother!" Mabel closed one eye as she aimed the leaf blower at the giant gnome, "Wanna do the honors?"
"On three!" Dipper grabbed onto the leaf blower as Mabel held it
"One! Two! Three!" The twins chanted in unison before releasing the gnome towards their target, the recoil sending the two into the bush behind them as the giant gnome exploded into hundreds of regular sized gnomes landing all over the grass and parking area around the Mystery Shack.
"I'll get you back for this!" the gnome-turned bullet said.
"Anyone else want some?" Dipper asked as Mabel used the leaf blower to shoo the rest of the gnomes away.
"Uh, Hi! What the hell was even that?"
"Y/n! Um... It turns out that my boyfriend was a bunch of gnomes in a hoodie."
"Oh." you say without a hint of confusion, "How old was he, or uh, were they?"
Mabel and Dipper glance at each other.
"I don't know? Maybe twenty?"
"I fucking knew he was old. You ready to go in?"
"Uh, I need to talk to Dipper first?"
"Coolio. Oh. Please, don't tell your mom that I said the fuck word."
You nod and run around the house and once you get in through the main entrance you lean against the wall and close your eyes.
"You okay over there, hun?" Your focus was broken by Great Uncle Stan
"Yeah, I'm okay, Great Uncle Stan." you kept your eyes closed "Dipper and Mabel will be in in a little bit."
A couple beats pass, before the aforementioned twins walk in and started heading up for bed.
"Sheesh, you two get hit by a bus or something? Ahah." You open your eyes at that but keep your head tilted up, "Wouldn't you know it, I accidently overstocked some inventory. So hows about each of you take one item from the gift shop, on the house?"
At that, each of the Pines children turn and look at Great Uncle Stan.
"The catch is do it before I change my mind. Now take something."
Mabel makes happy noises as she flitters through Great Uncle Stan's wares
"You'll do." You say as you pick up a dagger with a symbol embedded in the end of the handle and it's leather sheath from the shelf behind you head.
"This oughta do the trick." Dipper says as he grabs a ball cap off the pine tree ball cap shelf and sticks it on his head.
"And I will have a... Grappling hook! Yes." Mabel says as she thrusts the item in the air.
"Wouldn't you rather have like a doll or something?" Great Uncle Stan suggests
"Grappling hook!" Mabel grapples herself to the ceiling, knocking over a bookcase in her efforts.
"I don't think there even was any dolls." You look at Great Uncle Stan.
Late that night, as you lay in bed fiddling with the knife, you think 'Maybe this summer won't be so bad after all'.
A brief moment of quiet at dinner is interrupted when BANNG! You slam your fists on the table.
"I can't call you Great Uncle Stan anymore! There's too many syllables" you pout "I'll just have to call you Grunkle Stan
Stan swallows the mashed potatoes already in his mouth.
