E•MO•TION STARTERS. ( accepting. )
gamedebt asked: “ i’m not going anywhere without you. ” - gi-hun.
HER BODY FEELS SO COLD. it’s past the point of pain, has been for a while now. sae-byeok is nearly numb to it, and every movement feels like trying to swim across the tumen river after first frost; bitter and waterlogged, like simply raising her head is being met with resistance. it’s easier to just fall into it, let herself sink into the blood-soaked mattress beneath her.
the world slips away and she’s floating under the surface, drifting into dark depths below. there is still light above her, if she could only reach it.
wait, she can’t die!! not yet! not yet! he still hasn’t promised—!!
❝i’m not going anywhere without you.❞
someone has said this to her before, a long time ago. she’s too far away from her body now for this moment to feel like anything but a memory. and that’s what sae-byeok thinks it is when she starts to open her eyes a bit, just an old memory playing out in these last few minutes because a man is reaching for her with a gentleness that only one man ever has. it has to be a memory because that man is dead, reduced to a corpse floating down the river and nothing left of him but his words ringing in her ears.
and then the man sweeps at her bangs like he’s trying to wipe away the sweat that’s matted them to her forehead. that’s when the gesture confuses her. well, maybe not the gesture itself but the physicality of it. the realness of it. then maybe this isn’t a memory, and this isn’t that man. that’s got to be it, right?
besides, her father would never let his hair get so shaggy, and the accent is all wrong.
there’s a choked, shuddering gasp that escapes from sae-byeok’s throat, like she’s trying to swallow down her own death rattle. she comes back to the world, the sharpness of it contrasting with the hazy delirium of what must have been a dream. gi-hun’s kind face comes swimming into view and it is cut with concern, determination. sae-byeok remembers where she is and the things she still needs to do.
of course she’d be thinking of her father now. her family has always walked a trail of unkept promises. she’ll be adding her own to the path soon. still, she wants to believe in this one.
gi-hun holds her, grips her so hard like he thinks it’ll keep her spirit from slipping away. sae-byeok wishes he knew a lost cause when he saw one. the fact that he’s trying so hard just makes it hurt more.
“mister—” she starts to say, but stops. not because of the pain, but because the word feels wrong. there isn’t that kind of distance between them anymore.
“samchon,” she tries again. this is closer, but still not quite right. “please. my brother— i have to hear you promise.”
