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Today on Magic the Drama: Ixalan, Pg. 7...
Jace: *Is depressed as shit.*
Illusion Gideon: *Is annoyingly condescending.*
Illusion Liliana: *Is an unlikable bitch making us all, except for the Jaciana shippers, wonder what Jace ever saw in that manipulative, backstabbing, bitch to begin with.*
Illusion Teysa: *Is actually trying to help Jace remember his fucked up life.*
Jace: *Sobs.*
A VERY REAL VRASKA: Dude, wtf happened to you?!
Jace: I DONT KNOWS!
Today on Magic the Drama, Ixalan, Pg. 2
Jace in the Plains: Hewwo?
Jace in the Island: Hewwo?
Jace in the Swamp: Hewwo?
Jace in the Mountains: Hewwo?
Jace in the Forest: Hewwo?
GamerDragon: OMFG WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MY POOR LOST SON?!
Today on Magic the Drama: Ixalan, Pg. 11...
Vraska: Jace, I'm gonna kick your ass?
Jace: *Cute puppy eyes.*
Vraska: Fuck!
Later after an epic battle!
Jace: Wow, Vraska! You're totally awesome and talented and cool!
Vraska: Wanna be partners?
Jace: Sure!
GamerDragon: I actually like Vraska now? WTF IS GOING ON?!
Today on Magic the Drama: Ixalan, Pg. 8...
Raptor Hatchling: Rawr!
GamerDragon: I will protect you.
Today on Magic the Drama: Ixalan, Pg. 6
Follower: So... you're all better then, right?
GamerDragon: Hahahaha! Nope. I'm still dying on the inside.
Magic the Gathering: Here's double sided cards, some vehicles, some awesome lands, a badass dinosaur knight, and W/B Vampires. Oh, and Sorin and Ugin might have something to do with Ixalan. BYE!
Follower: Better now?
GamerDragon: A little.
Today on Magic the Drama: Ixalan, Pg. 3
Child: Mommy, how did you and Mama meet?
GamerDragon: DINOSAUR JOUSTING! *Looks lovingly to Hautli, my beautiful wifu.*
They tried.
Just a reminder...
Bolas killed Ugin in the original timeline, causing dragons to go extinct. Sarkhan saved Ugin in the new timeline but good people still died. It's all Bolas's fault. Bolas manipulated multiple Planeswalkers into releasing the Eldrazi. Half of Zendikar is barren wasteland and a small population as a result. It's all Bolas's fault. Bolas's assault on Ugin prevented Ugin from answering Nahiri's call. If he had come, yes he likely would still have been crossed with Sorin but he would have understood. He could have prevented everything that happened to Innistrad: The madness, the deaths of so many, Nahiri's anger. But no, Bolas chose the worst possible time to try and kill Ugin. It's all Bolas's fault. Bolas sent Tezzeret to control the consulate on Kaladesh, resulting increasing tensions between the Consulate and the Renegades. This resulted an in a war and Tezzeret managed to escape with an important piece of Rashmi's teleporter which Bolas will use to move his undead army. It's. All. Bolas's. FAULT. And now we have Amonkhet, and you all know what's happening here. Needless to say. I HOPE NICOL BOLAS DIES A LONG, HORRIBLE, AND PAINFUL DEATH BECAUSE HE IS A SACKS OF DICKS!
