Virtual Relationship Experience: How I went back to the same guy in 2020...
As touchy as this subject can be for not only me but other individuals just keep in mind these are my experiences and what I’ve experienced and seen through a lot of individuals in online gaming and virtual world relationships.
It’s easy to see the appeal of virtual world and online gaming relationships. You already have one common interest with the individual. Of course it all starts out as friends because you’re hanging out playing whatever game or virtual world together because you enjoy each other’s company. However, sometimes emotions get the best of us and that can always move forward. From experience I’ve had some successful and some non-successful online relationships and I’ve learned something for every experience I’ve had with each online relationship that I’ve developed. I’m a casual MMORPG and virtual world casual gamer all in all. I’ve seen success stories where individuals actually do connect so well that if they plan to meet in real life or technically have a long distance relationship it works. But more times than most you might not be that one lucky individual who finds exactly that and sometimes you don’t even want more than just someone that will enjoy a common interest with you. This happens and I’m experiencing that now with an individual that I indeed do have a virtual world relationship with. I wanted to share one of my experiences with all of you since this guy is someone I’ve had a past with before now. I want to show all of you how the feelings a human feels clouds the judgement of that individual setting unobtainable thoughts and ideas that will either never happen or a .01% slim chance.
I met this individual on Second Life and let’s be honest just like real life you find some real winners. But, to be fair it’s a nice place to meet some new people and make FRIENDS. I don’t suggest relationships on Second Life unless you personally know the person in real life and go into this virtual world together. A lot of the people on this virtual world are nice to have around for good conversation depending on the individual but for the most part finding the man of your dreams is more something for bumble or a dating app and even there it’s hard to do. With that being said, this guy and I became really close we decided to start as just virtual and online and to be honest I was 100% okay with this. We cared about each other and just connected we had something special and the connection was so strong. But as we know with relationships in reality every individual has their flaws and with time we started becoming comfortable with each other and he started to show his full force. During this time I also still lived at home, was going through school, tried to juggle friends and family, and chores so I could stay at home. I had a lot going on for me at the time and now I’m adding a relationship onto this. Being a naive teenager at the time I agreed to take the relationship into “real life” so basically just a long distance relationship. This was just not working out for me he was extremely clingy and always wanted inappropriate picture and would push me for them even when I wouldn’t give them and told him how uncomfortable I was with the idea (no I never sent nudes nor would I ever). Everything with him was starting to get into a very very intimate circle I just wasn’t ready for. He was lonely in real life even I knew this so I tried to be around as much as I could but even if I was in class he’d turn around and when I didn’t respond within 1-2 minutes of a text it was;
“hun?”
“are you there?”
“Why are you ignoring me?”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“What did I do to you to hate me?!?!”
“Why don’t you love me as much as I love you?”
“Where did you go?”
“Ah...well...guess your busy”
The list goes on and on but these are just a few I’d receive during that time while in class or having to do things with my family or when I was going out with friends. My phone would blow up with text messages from only him and it was getting out of hand.
In Second Life at the time I was very well known by most of the Second Life population. I don’t know why but I was...I had many friends and was a huge part of family Role-playing which I loved! I basically was playing the sims with better graphics that ran faster in a virtual world setting with real people I could talk too. During this time I was part of a Second Life family that I’ve been a part of for about 10 years. During this time when I was with this guy I’ve seen them maybe once a month if at all when I used to at least talk to them everyday. Every time I came on he wanted to be with me just me. During this time I he would guilt trip me if I wanted to talk to anyone consistently kept asking “am I not good enough? your never on and when you are you don’t want to just spend time with me.” Keep in mind I’ve spent nothing but time with him. If I wanted to go visit friends and family he would make me feel bad which would either stop me from going or he would make me feel bad and take him with me. I was never alone and I never really enjoyed the virtual world anymore. People saw I was in an emotionally abusive and clingy (on his end) relationship when I’m clearly a very independent person. Things were just not going well and my phone blowing up consistently just became the last straw. We ended up breaking up and I felt so free!
Now jump to the future so today in the year 2020 he came on after two years and I came on. After not talking to each other he made the first step and told me hi. So being nice I responded. My feelings for him were still there and his for me were eh I think there. He was in a relationship with this one girl who wasn’t into the same things he was into and just wanted companionship which is understandable because this guy feels immense loneliness. So, you know its understandable that if someone likes you to just go for it even if it’s not the best relationship to be in. He claims he wasn’t happy in it but he must’ve been a little bit because they would in front of me talk about how much they loved each other and cared. Yes to be honest it did feel like a setup like he was trying to get me back and yes in a sense I was getting a little jealous it was working. But even then I kept my composure and thought back into the past and remembered why I left the first time. Needless to say they broke up because this girl even though he didn’t have proof everything he told me led to it basically she cheated. The relationship overall, was just unhealthy. So because of how jealous I was he asked me if I just wanted to be online and try again. I accepted and explained it’s just going to be online it’s just going to be virtual. Because I did want to go out and meet people I’m still very young and just want to see what’s out there right now for me I didn’t want something in real life. To be fair with me just starting my real life career (and loving it) and juggling more than I was back then I couldn’t handle real life. Everyday I have to tell him now I’m not looking for real life we’re not real life. I told him I was just looking for a companion to spend time with and explore Second Life with when I’m not busy. He’s starting to become almost stalkerish. He asks where I am all the time when he sees me on even if he’s at work he comes on and gets mad when I’m not talking to him. Like I’m trying to have fun and do what I want to do. My time with you is 1-2 hours a night at the end of my night so I can share myself with everyone this includes online friends and family and interior decorating and blogging which are things I enjoy in my virtual life when I can go on. We will see where this goes but hes always pushing real life and pushing a lot on me that I don’t want or feel comfortable with it and it all leads to going into a real life relationship when he knows I don’t want that. So, we will see what happens with this but right now even though I enjoy his company and like him this is taking a downward spiral very very quickly. We’ve been dating a month now.
I’m leaving this relationship soon if things don’t get better within the week and there isn’t a firm grasp or understanding. But if you ever feel like your in a relationship where you don’t feel comfortable or you’re getting odd vibes for one reason or another and you give it a chance and it still isn’t getting better then leave. It’s not okay to be in a relationship even just in a game where the guy doesn’t support what you want. If it wasn’t what they wanted they shouldn’t have started a relationship with you. You aren’t doing anything wrong by walking away from something that isn’t making you happy and feels more like a chore then something lighthearted and just overall, loving.
I hope you enjoyed this post and I’ll see you all next time.
I mean... My boyfriend asked me if preferred as a gift a new game on ps4 or a Pandora charm. And you know what, let's make a change once and let's let him spend money on something that will last hours of fun and adventure instead of a little piece of silver to show off with - here comes Fallout 4
