FWB to MWB
Hello G fam! It’s been a while but I’m back. I’m not too sure for how long but I am back. A lot has been happening in my life, and I have not been able to be as dedicated as I could be to this page. I hope you all enjoy this story about a gorgeous, normal, single mama that just so happens to be FWB with the one and only Young Gerald.
“Zay! Where are you hun?” I was calling my little sass for sometime now and she just wouldn’t answer.
“Zay….Zaybrie. ZAY!”
“I’m right here mommy you don’t have to yell,” she muttered.
My gorgeous little sass looked up at me while fumbling with the zipper to her favorite panda jacket. I never thought in a million years I would be here. 23years old, rollers in my hair, stressing over a trip to the grocery store, and staring down at my mini-me. I had Zay when I was 19 years old. She was the product of an mentally and sometimes physically abusive relationship. My ex was just not the ish like I had once thought. We were high school sweethearts and he wanted a military life, I on the other hand wanted to embrace the world. If it wasn’t for my pregnancy I most likely never would have made it out. She is my saving grace and literally only reason I haven’t been locked away due to insanity.
“UGH! Mommy I can’t do this! It’s broken.”
My train of thought is broken as my disgruntled 4 year old is completely over the zipper on this damn jacket. I didn’t even know why she wanted to wear this out. The jacket is worth more than gold to this little girl since her best pal G got it for her the last time he was in Tokyo at some hip Japanese boutique. The tag says it was an adult small but by the looks of it, it could have passed for a child’s shmedium. I easily guide the zipper together and with a little zrrrp its up.
“Baby. Why do you wanna wear Panda to the store today? It’s a little damp out, aren’t you afraid of getting it messed up?”
“Mommy we live in the Bay it’s always moist outside.”
Ugh! That word is like nails on a chalkboard for me, but of course G knows this and still decided to teach my 4year old to say this word to completely throw her mother off every chance she got. This cake is moist, my hair is moist. Mommy my skin is moist.” Any chance this little girl got to say it she took it.
“Because Mommy, we’re gonna meet up with Gerry today and I want him to see that I love my jacket.”
She was the only girl I knew in the world that could call him that. Gerry, or G as I like to call him, is none other than the Bay Area kid G-Eazy. I met him about 3 years ago when Zay was barely old enough to walk. I had been working at a local diner, and going to school full time when one rainy Saturday morning a mob of sweaty drunk dudes come barging in at 7am demanding coffee, pie, and whatever grease filled meal they could put in their bellies to prevent a hangover from hell. I was overworked, underpaid, exhausted, and at my wits end; so when this tall jerk of man tried to holla at your girl I was not having it. He tried the whole “Hey Ma!” Come here with one finger bit. I naturally walked over and asked if there was anything he needed. To his reply of “You see I made you come over her with one finger imagine what I could do with two.” I was so beyond pissed I through a glass of ice water and told his ass to cool down. My boss saw, asked me if I knew who this fool was, and fired me when I blantantly said I could give a fuck. As I walked out of the diner I heard loud steps running after me. I being the street smart girl that I am turned around and straight punched this dude in the face.
“Damn ma! First you soak me then you floor me? I gotta know who you are now that I damn near fell for you.”
At that point I lost my shit again. I went on a whole tangent of who do you think you ares and why don’t you fuck offs. I turned around after I thought I gave him a piece of my mind and he followed me asking me all kinds of questions. I don’t know when or how it happened but I began to answer them. We eventually got on the subject of me being single with a kid and how he admired that. He walked me the 8 blocks all the way home to my mom’s house. We exchanged numbers and have been “friends” ever since.
“Ohhh I see. You’re trying to look cute for Gerry?”
“No Mommy, you’re trying to look cute for Gerry since you got the rollers in your hair. I just wanna say thank you for my jacket.”
Damn my kid caught me. So what if I wanted my hair to look a little nicer than normal for when I saw G. I mostly wanted it to look nice because it never fails that when I’m with him we end up on some tabloid. Everyone pretty much knows that we just fuck each other, I mean even my own grandmother knows it. It turned into that after a drunk night I went on tour with him and Zay. I’m not sure what came over us but as she slept in my bunk I was in the back of the bus with G.
I’ll never forget that night, not because I have feelings for him, but because he has to be the best lay of my entire life. He had just finished his last number I mean It and every time he said “If I ever said I fucked your bitch…” he would look at me with pure lust in his eyes. He ended the show. Ran off stage to the back where we all followed. Zay was wearing her purple sound blocking headphones on the verge of sleep, but she stayed up to give Gewy a hug. As soon as she got it she passed out. The after party in the back of the stadium was cut short since we had to pile on the bus and head to San Diego. I was shocked when a group of girls that somehow managed to get backstage asked to get on the bus and “rock G’s World” were turned down and told to scram. Everyone began to go towards the busses when G grabbed my hand and guided me through the crown of groupies and photographers. Once we were safely on the bus G made an announcement.
“Yo if any of you motherfuckers wanna be loud go on the other bus. This is the quiet bus tonight. Zay’s gotta sleep and I ain’t in the mood for the bull shit.”
People began to pile of the bus into the other bus leaving only a handful of crew members, G, a few of his homies, me and Zay. Zay was fighting her sleep as we sat on the burgundy couches that were just before the bunks in the little kitchen area. She kept playing peek-a-boo with an exhausted raspy voiced G, but he kept playing with her. She sat on his lap facing him and just kept staring at his face. She would grab at his nose, poke at his eyes, grab his eyebrows, and put her little hand over his mouth where he would then play nibble on her fingers causing her to squeal. She kept rubbing her eyes till eventually she wrapped her arms around G to give him a hug and she passed out. Her little body was completely calm and at peace with him as she let out little soft snores. G stood up and took her to the bunk that was designated for her and I. It was a bottom bunk and he made sure no one was allowed to sleep on the one above. He laid her in the middle of the bunk covered her with her little peach baby blanket, and placed pillows all around her so she wouldn’t roll over or roll off the bunk. He even stuffed pillows on the side facing the aisle so that if she did roll there was a little wall there to protect her. I stood there watching him do all this in shock. He then motioned for me to come see the job he had done.
“She’s a stunner you know. In 15 years we’re gonna have to beat the dudes off with a stick to protect her.”
“We? G we’re homies, I told you I’m not looking to date. I gotta finish..”
“School. Yeah I know. I’m attached now. Just because we ain’t nothing doesn’t mean I’m never gonna be here for her.”
“G you say that but what happens when you keep going and touring? We can’t keep tagging along. I’m almost done with my degree and before you know it, I'll be a social worker working a 9-5.”
“True but come on Caily, you’ll be able to come out sometimes. You and Zay. I want you a part of my life even if we’re just friends. I love this kid.”
I could tell he was being honest despite the alcohol. I just wanted a stable figure in Zay’s life so I didn’t think a rapper could be that (I was eventually proven wrong.)
“Okay G. But if it gets too much, you’re the one that’s gonna have to tell Zay you’re out.”
“Never gonna happen!”
“Never say never.”
“I’m telling you it’s never and I never lie.” He smirked and bit his lower lip giving me those dreamy brown I want you eyes. I was wearing a cropped When It’s Dark Out T-shirt hand cut by me, some high waisted boyfriend jeans, kicked off the chucks a while ago so I was barefoot showing off my home pedicured black toenails. He on the other hand was freshly showered, hair wet and floppy, wearing a black hoodie, matching sweatpants, socks, and slides. He looked my body up and down again and licked his lips. I ignored this look having seen his crew do it millions of times. I walked back to the couch and he followed. I sat back and sipped on my water as he kept eyeing me.
“What?!”
“Nothing Cails. I just like looking at you.”
“That is so corny my dude,” I laughed-talked at him.
“I’m serious Cails.”
“That’s just the whiskey talking you dork.”
“Nah I’m dead serious, you’re just too stubborn and think your un-loveable to notice.”
“Oh so now you love me?”
“Yeah I got a love for you girl. You’ll never reciprocate it so I’ll just keep it,” he put his finger to his lips motioning a shhh.
“Hmm okay Gerald.”
“I like it when you say that. I like how you say it, Gerald,” he attempted to mimic the syllables like I say them.
“You’re drunk my dude.”
“Yeah maybe. But I know when I’m sober the pain feels worse because I can actually feel it.”
He looked at me with these soulful, sorrow filled eyes. I could tell in that moment he meant every word. He could tell I picked up on this vibe and leaned in. I felt the tip of his nose touched mine and pulled away. I quickly stood up.
“I better go check on Zay.”
As I walked toward the bunk he followed me. I was about to pull the curtain open when we grabbed me by my arm and spun me around. I was now looking up at him and seeing the intense lust in his eyes. His left arm was still holding on to mine as his right hand cupped my face and pulled me in for a kiss. His lips so soft and so sweet against mine as he just held them there against mine. He pulled away to see my reaction. I couldn’t move. The kiss stuck my feet to the floor causing me to be planted their hoping for another. He kissed me again this time with more passion making me kiss him back. We stood their in a full on mack sesh until he pulled away and walked towards the back of the bus where he sleeps. In that moment I had a choice. I could either crawl into the bunk with my daughter or run to the feeling I have been missing my whole life and give in. Before I could give it a second thought, I began to run towards him.
“Gerald.”
He turned towards me just in time for me to put my arms around his neck and kiss him. Our lips crashed against each other causing each of us to go completely numb and breathless. He mumbled “jump” while still in my kiss. I hopped up wrapping my legs around him as he began walking me towards the king size. He pushed the button to shut and lock the door behind him as we kissed. He plopped me on the bed and pulled his hoodie off over his head with one hand like all men do. I could feel myself getting wet as he then pressed his freshly bare torso onto my body. He gave me another hard passionate kiss, this time sliding his tongue over my bottom lip begging for me to allow him in. Begging to go deeper and begging to explore me. I gave in slipping my tongue into his ready opened mouth. This passionate kiss cause a throaty moan to escape from him. We kept kissing as he grinded his hips into mine, causing me to whimper. He began to kiss my neck and work his way up to my earlobe as his hand went up my shirt pawing at by titts making me moan and getting my wetter by the second. He pushed up my shirt and bra exposing my D cup titts and flush pink nipples. He admired them for a moment before giving one of my nipples a teasing lick. He stared deep into my eyes as he did this, then he began to suck on my titt as he rubbed and pinched my other nipple. I began to grind up my hips to meet his as he sucked all over both titts leaving raw love bites around each nipple. He licked at each bite causing a tinge of pain to go through my body. It was a good pain, a needed pain. By this point I was completely soaked and ready for more. He kissed down my faintly stretch marked tummy as he made his way take of my pants. As he pulled them down, I sat up on my knees, pulled my bra and shirt all the way off, wrapped my arms around him and kissed. His bare chest against my titts felt absolutely amazing. I could tell he loved it just as much as I did by the way he grabbed me closer to his body. He then brushed my hair away from my neck, then gave my hair a nice pull as he kissed my sweet spot on my neck just before my ear causing me to moan out and claw my nails along his back, and through his hair. As I clawed over him he moaned in my neck shooting warm air against my ear driving me wild. I turned his body to where I could lay him down on the bed. I pulled away from the kiss, gave him a good sloppy lust filled one ending in a lip bite before playfully pushing him on his back. I began to kiss his neck, and bite on his earlobes driving him wild. Doing so caused me to give my ass a smack shooting a tingle up to my nipples making my pussy twitch. I kissed down his body having him release little moans. I sit up on my knees again, giving him a lustful look as I began to rub his cock through the sweatpants. I pull them down revealing a beautiful pink hard cock dripping with precum. I pull the pants all the way down, removing his socks as well and begin to place kisses all over his cock as my hand caresses his balls. His breath begins to deepen as I kiss up his long thick cock towards the tip. I hold it up and look deep into his eyes and place it in my mouth. As it enters my mouth I hear his breathing change again. I wrap my lips around half of his cock and suck as I bob my head up. A moan escapes his now parted lips as I repeat the process a few more times, taking him deeper into my mouth each time. I suck up with a pop and tap the tip of his cock on my tongue.
“Ohh you dirty girl. You look so good with my cock.”
“MMMMhmmmm,” is all I let out as I take his cock back into my throat, the hum causing a vibration around his cock making him close his eyes as I begin to make oral love to his perfect 8 inch cock. Up and down, up and down, I can feel him throbbing as I bob my head taking him as deep as I can go without gagging. Ever so often I shove him all the way down past my tonsils to the point where is balls are practically in my mouth. A breathy “fuck” is the only thing that escapes his mouth each time I deep throat him down. I laid there on my belly sucking his cock for a good solid 5 closer to 10 minutes when he stopped me.
“MMMBaby stop...get over here.” He seductively growled as he pulled me up towards his face. I had my legs on either side of his body as he pulled me in for a kiss.
“HMMWhat’s wrong you can’t handle it.” I asked him as I placed kisses on his lips, along his jawline, and towards his neck.
“Uhhbaby I can it’s just I don’t wanna cum in your mouth.” He then guided my head back into the position where he could kiss my pouty lips. He slipped me the tongue and gave me a passionate french. I could feel his tongue dance with mine in my mouth in the most sexy ass way. I wanted to be cheesy and ask him where he wanted to cum but I couldn’t break from that kiss. We stayed in that position kissing like that for a while. During that time I guess I had slid down his body because I could feel the tip of his cock brush against my thong covered taint and swipe along my ass. When he felt that he let out a moan in my throat driving each of us wild causing me to grind down and hump his cock. I could feel his tip perfectly glide against my clothed clit sending waves of desire through both our bodies. I humped down on him only 3 times before he flips me over and in a lustful rush kisses down my belly to the line of my thong. You couldn’t tell how wet I truly was through the black cotton material until he rubbed his entire hand over my pussy.
“Damn Caily you’re so fucking wet.” He rubbed up and down admiring how flooded my pussy got at the sins we were committing. He quickly pulled thong off over my feet and discarding it God knows where. He began to give hard bites and kisses all along my thighs teasing my core with his warm breath. He gave a kiss right above my clit causing my hips to thrust up towards his face.
“MMMBaby you want this huh? You want me to eat this perfect pussy?” He looked me dead in the eye begging for permission and I nodded allowing him to begin his work. He licked a long straight line from my taint, between my wet lips, up past my clit leaving a kiss at the top of my pubic bone. This sent shock waves through my body. I grabbed my tits and began to toy with my nipples. This view caused a reaction in Gerald I never saw before. Like a rabid beast he began to devour my pussy. The combination of harsh licks, and clit sucking had me grinding my pussy in his face. He loved it. Every grind he would smirk and stick his tongue in my pussy, flattening it out once inside filling my pussy. Then came the fingers. He started by teasing my entrance with two fingers as he sucked my clit blowing my mind. He just kept toying with me as he sucked up all my pussy juices and grinding on his perfect face.
“Damn G finger me please.” I begged at this point. His face was in complete shock as he shoved his two long fingers up my pussy causing me to moan out and bare down hard.
“Fuuuck Baby you’re so damn tight.” My leg was now resting on his back as he made this statement. He was staring at my pussy in amazement as he now was knuckles deep in. He used his thumb to swipe my clit as he just completely finger blasted me. I was a wreck just moaning and grinding my hips feeling how amazing his fingers felt inside me. Then...he started eating my pussy again. The combination of licks and clit sucks while he was knuckles deep had me a complete mess. I was grabbing him by his hair begging him to stop or even slow down but he wouldn’t. This was right where he wanted me. He kept going and sucking to the point that I felt my entire body crash as I came. I came hard on his fingers, bearing down and trying to run away. He held me by one leg and kept sucking and finger fucking. It wasn’t long before I came again. I was a wet shaky mess as he began to slurp up all my juices. He pulled his fingers out of my pussy and I could see how wet they were. He lapped up the rest of my juice as I shuddered. When he reached my clit, I had to pull away because damn it was sensitive. He smiled as he sat up on his knees. I sat up just as he was about to lick me off his fingers. I grabbed his hand and began to suck my juices off his fingers. His face was priceless as he let out another “fuck” under his breath.
I kept licking and sucking his fingers as he watched for a seductive minute until he crashed his lips into mine. He wrapped his arms around me pulling my onto his thighs. I could feel is cock beneath my pussy just begging to enter in and explore me. I began to grind my hips down as he smacked my ass playfully. I little out a whimper causing him to smack a little harder. I moaned into his kiss as he now smacked my ass even harder but still the reserve in fear of hurting me. He began to maneuver his body as if he was going to lay me down, but before he got the chance I reached in between our bodies and guided his cock into my tight, dripping pussy. I looked him deep in his eyes letting out a gasp and creating a hitch in his breath. I slowly began to work my hips down causing his cock to climb deeper into my pussy with each small bounce. The slew of curse words spewing from his lips as I rode that fat cock, moaning and whimpering wanting him deeper yet. As I bounced up and down, his mouth met my tits and began to nip at my skin and nipples. I began riding sloppy as my legs were ready to give out due to the sheer pleasure being shot through my core and the hot spark of pain from my tits as he sucked my nipples to the point of being raw. He laid me down on my back, making sure to give me a deep long kiss as he began to pound into my pussy.
*Smack. Smack. Smack* is all you heard as he drilled his 8 full inches deep into my guts. With every thrust I whimpered into his kiss. “Fuck fuck fuck!” Is all I could let out as he fucked the absolute shit out of me. He went from kissing my lips to sucking on my neck as I clawed his back causing him to growl in pure sadistic pleasure. I don’t know exactly what he did, but with the slightest swivel of his hips, he was now hitting my spot at a different angle. Before I could even let out a sound I was seeing stars. It was the fastest build-up of electric butterflies sending currents down to my core releasing what felt like a million volts of earth shattering electricity throughout my body. He could feel me cum as my pussy began to drip even more and my walls strangled his cock.
“Fuck babygirl you’re so damn good. You like how I fuck this tight ass pussy huh?” He growled those words through clenched teeth as I begged him to keep fucking me just as he was. He swiveled his hips again sending another orgasm through my body. I bared down a little too hard and almost pushed him out.
“Nah-uh don’t you fucking push me out. Open up that pussy baby,” he begged. I did my best eventually coming down from my high in the slightest allowing his cock to go balls deep again. I knew he was getting close as his “fucks” were more frequent and his stroke was getting sloppier. I wanted him to cum so bad. No just because I didn’t feel like I could take another orgasm, but because the giver in me wanted to see pure pleasure rush over his face as he busts. I knew exactly what would push him over the edge. I reached down as far as my hand could and began to fondle his balls.
“FUCK! Oh my God, damn baby! Yes!” He was so close still. It was time to completely go for the kill.
“Cum for me Gerald! Bust that fat load in my tight little pussy. Come on baby fill me up with you cum! Nut in me baby!”
“Fuck you want that baby?!”
“Yes baby! Bust that nut all up in this pussy!” He began to grunt and thrust into me harder than he had before. I could feel the electric butterflies coming again but this time right from my pussy. I started to grind my hips the opposite of his hitting my spot a completely different way sending me to the moon. I squeezed his balls as hard as I could without hurting him and that was it. My body began shaking as I heard him pleading to God and calling out my name. I could feel his warm cum fill me up inside as he kept pumping and I kept grinding. My legs began to shake and before I knew it my entire body was a moaning quaking mess beneath G. Him seeing this decided it would be a good idea to reach down and rub my clit. If felt my whole body clamp up and a rush began to rise from my pussy. I felt like my clit was about to explode when all of a sudden, a shock wave left my body and squirt burst all over his cock. He was so turned on he kept thrusting until neither one of us could take it.
He pulled out his cock and fell next to me completely spent. I was still quivering feeling the aftershocks hit my clit like waves after a tsunami. I was a panting fool with no words being able to form out of my mouth. I could hear him next to me at a complete loss for words. With neither one of us speaking, he turned the ac down low and removed the top sheet I had completely destroyed, only leaving the fitted and the comforter. He covered the both of us and pulled me close to spoon. Damn, not only could he fuck but he wanted to cuddle too? I was getting comfortable and about to doze off when my mind went straight to Zay.
“Oh no Zay!”
“She’s fine.”
“How do you know G? She’s probably awake crying for all we know.”
“No she’s fine. Trust me!”
“G let me go check on her.”
“Listen you could do what you want but I know she’s ok.” Before I could protest he was rolling his body over towards the night stand. I assumed he was about to whip out a blunt and smoke it up, but instead he pulls out a video baby monitor. There she was. My little baby completely zonked out and snoring away.
“I put that in the bunk just in case you wanted to sleep in the bunk above her. I wanted you to have peace of mind and to rest easy.”
I could not believe how incredibly sweet he was. I ended up staying the entire night with him, fucking him one more amazing time before showering and going to lay down with Zay. Ever since then we had been fucking around whenever we got the chance. It was good for us. I didn’t have to worry about a random guy coming in and out of Zay’s life, he didn’t have to worry about a commitment. In the end we were just two friends with needs that could go to each other no matter what. We were both damaged so this worked for us.
*CHING CHING*
“Yay Gerry’s here! Gerry’s here!” I opened the door and there he stood. All 6’4” of him wrapped in leather. Smiling so big you though he won a Grammy.
“AHH Zay Zay! *muah* What’s up lil mama?” He wrapped her up in a big hug squeezing her like she was his own. He tickled her sides causing her to squeal in delight that her friend was here.
“What’s up Big Mama?” He said causing me to roll my eyes because he knew I hated that he called me that.
“Yup there she is haha.” He put Zay down and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“You ready to go G? We gotta hit the mall while the kiddies are still in school so we can get everything done.”
“Yeah fo’sho. Let me just take a leak and we’ll bounce.” He made his way to the bathroom and I put on my official G-Eazy letterman from forever ago. I was fixing my lipstick in the mirror when I feel his presence behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered how he missed me in my ear.
“G! Come on, not in front of the kid.”
“I know I know.” We had made a deal that we would never act like a couple in front of Zay in order to keep the peace. We didn’t want to confuse her because she already knew who her dad was and we didn’t want to mess anything up. He gave me a weak smile as he picked up Zay and headed out the door. He had driven his mustang over so I was assuming that’s what we were rollin’ in.
“Really G? I thought we were going incognito?”
“We are! The black beauty is stealthy and sexy.”
“Yeah Mommy. She’s stealfy and sexy.”
“G! You look what you’re teaching her!”
“Zay Zay you can’t say that word till your 75.”
“What word?”
“That 2nd “s” word.”
“Sexy?”
“AHHHH it’s burning my ears,” he shouted as he covered his ears. Zay kept trying to repeat the word a few more attempts as he buckled her into her seat, each time causing G to “shout” and cover his ears. Eventually she stopped and we were on our way. We made our way to the mall and began to shop around. G buying anything and everything Zay wanted. He loved to spoil her no matter the cost. He would try with me but I just wasn’t into all of it. We walked up and down the mall for what seemed like 10 years. We bought snacks along the way but I was so hungry nothing was helping. We eventually stopped for a pretzel at a kiosk outside of a jewelry store in the mall. We were eating the salty treats and drinking the tart lemonade when Zay made a discovery.
“Look Mommy! Look at the pretty rings!”
“Yeah baby they’re pretty huh?”
“You should by one mommy!”
“No Baby mommy doesn’t need one.”
“Why Mommy?”
“Because Baby, only engaged people get those rings.”
“What’s engage?”
“It means people who are getting married.”
“Gerry you should buy one for my Mommy so you can get married!”
“No he shouldn’t Baby now come finish your pretzel.”
“Come on Mommy! You would look so pretty with one.”
“No Baby. Come sit down!”
“Please Gerry! Buy one so you and mommy can get married and have another baby, and you can live with me in my room and and and…”
“Zay! No enough. Now come and sit down.”
“I would Zay Zay but you’re Mommy won’t let me buy her one of those.”
“Why? Mommy why are you so mean?”
“G?! Seriously? Shut the Frick up!” I shot at him between clenched teeth and rage filled eyes. I could not believe that he had just said that to my 4 year old! Especially after all the talks we had about this. He asked a few times about why not? Why not? It’s like because dude! We can’t! I could feel my blood boil as Zay went back to eating her pretzel. I could tell G knew I was beyond livid because he wouldn’t even make eye contact with me. His jaw was clenched like he had something to be pissed about. We finished our snack in complete silence and G was so gone mentally even though his body was there.
“Come on, let’s get you guys home.”
“Gerry! Can we go to cheesecake house and get food? I hungry!”
“No baby we just ate.”
“No mommy we ate a pretzel, not dinner. Come on Gerry? Please?!” At that moment my stomach growled causing both Zay and G to look at me.
“You good?” He asked slightly concerned.
“Yeah I’m chill.” I coldly replied not making eye contact at all.
“Come one let’s go get you some dinner and call it a day.”
“Nah for real. It’s good G.”
“Nah we going and then we’ll call it a day.” He said with a little more force behind his tone. We walked to the car and G put all the bags in the trunk. I strapped Zay in and I could feel him staring at me as I did so. Normally he would make some joke about how good my ass looked but he was so beyond pissed he didn’t say a word. He zipped through traffic like a bat out of hell, white knuckling the steering wheel until we arrived at the restaurant. He handed the keys to valett, took Zay out of her seat and walked into the restaurant. I followed behind him and we were sat at a table in the back. G ordered some pasta dish, and Zay copied him ordering the kids version with chicken. I opted for some fettuccine and shrimp alfredo with a small salad. Zay sat next to G eating away and playing with him the entire dinner. G ignored me and continued to eat with Zay. He didn’t even bother me for a shrimp like he always does, instead he said:
“Ooh playing it safe now yeah Cails.” He never called me Cails unless he was pissed. Zay picked up on it but kept trying to lighten the mood. She kept poking G saying “tickle tickle,” getting him to fake laugh. I ate my meal in silence as the two of them carried on. Zay eventually ordering oreo cheesecake off of the pig girl menu so her and Gerry could share. I sat there continuing to be ignored till Zay quieted down. G finally cooled down enough to talk.
“So why did you blow up Cails?”
“We’re not talking about this right now. Not in front of Zay”
“She’s about to pass out soon then we can talk. Because we are going to talk.” He was right. It didn’t take but 6 minutes before she was completely passed out in the booth. It was now fair game. He looked at me and I had nothing to say.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“There is nothing to say? We have a good thing going why ruin it?”
“Really? You’re ok with what we got?”
“Yeah don’t ruin a good thing?”
“We’ve been fucking with each other for like 3 years and you can honestly tell me you have no feelings for me other than just friends?”
“Yeah. I mean, it hasn’t been 3 solid years. You had your girls in between. Besides you said we were good.”
“Only because you never give me a heads up as to what you feel.”
“I told you I don’t feel! I just go. I don’t have time to sit back and feel. I have to do what’s best for my daughter.”
“So what you think by having a loving man who would literally die for you and the kid isn’t the best thing for her?”
“Well if that loving man wasn’t always rolling out then yeah maybe?”
“I roll out to provide and because it’s my passion. Just like you stay behind as a social worker to fulfill yours.”
“She needs stability! You think living on a tour bus or from hotel to hotel is stable? Besides you can’t just decide you want a life with us just because you got a bond with the kid.”
“A bond with the kid? Well Damn? I thought every time I fucked you we had a bond? I’m not just here for the kid! I’m here for you to but you don’t want it!”
“You never let it be known! You always said we were good with how we were. You even had other girls and I had no one else!”
“I had other girls because you never made the effort!”
“I never made the effort? G I literally would fuck you any chance we got! How is that not making an effort? Hell no! You are not blaming me on this one!”
“I have told you I want to be with you multiple times! You keep saying nah we’re good. I always tell you I love you..”
“You always tell me you got a love for me! Never that you love me!”
“Because the last time I told you that I loved you, you didn’t say anything.”
“When did you tell me you loved me?”
“The very first night I fucked you! I told you I loved you and you just looked at me like I was some sad Son of Bitch!”
“I didn’t think you were serious! I literally thought you were saying that to get me to fuck you! But at the time it didn’t matter to me because I just wanted to fuck!”
“It didn’t even matter? Wow. I told you how I felt and it didn’t even matter?”
“At the time I didn’t think you were sure.”
“Well what about now? What do you think now?”
“I think you are just getting over another break up and you’re ready for the next.”
“I literally broke up with her because she wasn’t you. She wanted to settle down and I couldn’t because all I could think about is you.”
“G! You shouldn’t have done that. She made you so happy.”
“You make me happy! You are what I want! What do I have to do to prove..that to..you,” his voice cracked at the end of his sentence. The tears began to flood his eyes and my heart began to flutter. I knew he was being honest, and I knew deep down in my heart that he cared. But was I willing to risk it all. My stability, my job, my life, all of it would be changed if I decided yes. All these thoughts were flooding my mind when I saw movement from across the table. A wooden box was placed in front of me and a huge sparkler of a ring inside.
“Caily. Baby Girl. Big Mama. You are literally the reason I get up in the morning and take my raggedy ass to the studio when I don’t feel like going. I keep grinding so I can provide for you and Zay. Yes it’s my passion, but I would give it all up tomorrow to have a stable life with the two of you. I want to go to bed with you, wake up next to you, and be in your presence for the rest of my life if you will have me. Caily Rhiannon Zavalos; will you marry me?”
I sat there across from him with tears in my eyes and warmth in my heart. I wanted what he wanted but how could I ask him to give up his entire life for me? How could I give up my entire life for him? How did any of this make sense. Before I could say a word I heard the sweetest little voice:
“Mommy?”
I looked over to see Zay’s sleepy eyes wide with happiness at the site she saw. In that moment I knew that I would have to give an answer. Say yes and give Zay the family she deserves and finally find happiness for myself; or say no to save G from losing out on his passion. But which answer was the right one?
