I do not like being touched unexpectedly, I generally tend to avoid physical contact so if you give me three strong pats on my belly when I don't even expect it, it's pretty fucking obvious that I'll automatically get away quickly.
Now he knows that, or at least he's supposed to, since he's my father, so he can't just start screaming at me that I'm always unpleasant and that I must get out of the room because he "can't stand looking at my ugly face for another second" and that I'm ruining the family because I'm hateful and worthless and that I should just fuck off because no one wants me anymore. He can't do that.
Because in the state I'm in these things get under my skin and take roots and never leave and it really hurts and Jesus Christ I'm sick of crying and I already feel worthless and unwanted on my own so he could really fucking avoid that couldn't he
