Esrenniel, Geneviette
We’re a little late on posting this one. Gene and Ren make up and are very cute. Continuation of this RP.
Warnings: Depression and anxiety mentions,
Seated at a table facing the doors, Ren sat, as he had for the past few days, and waited. And waited. ...And waited. Gene's letter was a well-handled weight in his pocket as he ran through all the reasons why it was stupid of him to be doing this - weren't there more pressing things to attend to? Wasn't this stalking? Incompetent stalking, but stalking nonetheless? The Whispers members here already knew what he was waiting for, and they would have tipped her off, wouldn't they? If she didn't show... What if it meant she was tired of him, and this was her way to let him down easily? Shouldn't he accept her word and let her be? - The pain and anger he remembered hearing in her voice kept him waiting at the bar, though, hoping to catch sight of her. Sighing, he propped his head in his hands and let his eyes glaze over for a moment.
--
"Excuse me, Initiate? There's a young man here to see you and he won't go away. Please deal with him."
Gene's eyes snapped up from her paperwork. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she stood. "Young man? What are you talking about? A human?" Gene didn't know any humans well, but she was utterly confused. Who could be looking for her, especially here? No one knew she was here. Except... She shook away the thought.
--
Ren checked the sun overhead. Truthfully, Lil would have preferred they head back to their workshop two days ago. The only thing keeping them here this late was him, and his insistence on speaking to Gene before they went, and now it was looking like they'd be another day because of him. One more hour. He'd stay one more hour, and then he'd leave, and... and he'd just have to find reasons to make trips to Lion's Arch, then. Shifting uneasily on his chair, he looked back at the doors, then glanced around the room.
--
Getting a look from her superior, she stood and hurried away without answers to her questions. Her mind reeled as she walked towards the bar. Who? Why? How? Exiting into the sunlight, Gene searched the room. A bartender, a few Whisper members, and- Oh no. Ren. He was facing the doors, looking right at her. She had told him to avoid her, not come looking!! But, her mind argued, who, what, had she expected? Ren was the only one who knew where she was, what she was doing. Had she really believed he would just let her go?
--
Ren sat up straight as Gene entered the room. His hopes for actually seeing her again, especially after the way she'd neatly vanished the other night, had been so low that he almost didn't believe it at first - the look on her face when she set eyes on him, though, cut him deep in a way he assumed a hallucination wouldn't. Clearly, she'd meant the letter. This had been a horrible mistake. Why couldn't he just let her be? But she'd seen him, he couldn't slink away now. Pushing off from the stool, he stood, unsure whether he should approach. He settled for a small, awkward wave.
--
Gene's eyes were wide. "Ren?" She winced as Ren looked in pain. She said nothing, only approached during his small wave and pulled him to a less visible spot. "Ren? What are you doing here?!" A tiny, tiny part of him was glad he's here. She hadn't expected to see him for a long while, maybe even forever, and had braced herself for the inevitable. Seeing him was a strange break to this brace, though not an entirely unwelcome one, however she didn't want to admit it.
--
"Gene - I..." Unresisting, Ren let her lead him into a corner, out of sight of most of the bar. Even though his embarrassment made him want to retreat so that he could curl up and forget he'd ever thought this was a good idea, he was painfully happy to see her. All he wanted to do was put his arms around her. In a way, this was his fault - if he'd never met her, then Vit wouldn't have been so rude. She'd insisted they had problems before, but surely getting her arrested hadn't helped anything. "I... that is, if you... If - if you want me to leave, I will," he stammered. Everything he'd wanted to say fled in his panic. "But I - I couldn't send a reply and leave it! Gene, you're... you're my friend. A, a very good friend."
--
Gene sighed, closing her eyes. "I... You are my friend too, Ren, though I don't know what I've done to deserve it. We knew each other a few weeks and I had you locked in jail!" She almost began rambling. Treesong, what had gotten into her? "But what are you doing here? What did you want to say?" Her voice wavered slightly. "You really, really shouldn't be around me. I'm explosive, Ren. The best I can do is explode on some dragons. Go home, huh? Work on those turrets of yours." She resisted the urge to smile, but a glimmer went through her eye as she remembered how passionate Ren was about his turrets.
--
"That, ah, was as much my fault as yours." Ren made an abortive motion with his hands, letting them thump back to his sides in failure. How to explain? How to express how comfortable he'd felt around her, even though he'd still been awkward and clumsy? He couldn't help but think of her as he worked on his turrets. "I... I don't mind that you're angry. You have reason to be," he managed. "I mean, I - I like explosive things! My turrets, I mean. I mean, not when they explode because I've made some miscalculation but - that is - "
Shutting up took physical effort; he put a hand over his mouth and looked away from her, his cheeks darkening. "I... I will leave, and I'll stay away. If you want me to. But, uhm... I... If you need... Gene, I - I want to be there. If you need me. I would hate to know you need someone but think you're a... a burden, or... or that you're imposing, or..." Lamely, he raked his hand through his spikes.
--
Gene listened with widening eyes as Ren spoke. Why did he care so much about her? What had she ever done to deserve it? She had caused so much turmoil. He never would have been wrapped up in so many problems without her. She remembered their first real meeting like it was yesterday, and yet even that was tainted with anger between Vitrun and herself. But besides that, she remembered what he'd been like. Friendly, passionate, excited, happy. He could be awkward, but Gene had found it endearing. She remembered what she had been like. She was happy. Angry, but happy. She was naive, hopeful. Gene wished more than anything that she could be that person again. That was a person that deserved to be around Ren, around good, happy people. All these thoughts ran through her head as he spoke, and after. She didn't respond immediately, watching in pain as Ren stumbled over his words and raked his hands through his hair. She didn't have time to think before she acted. A lot of her wanted to push Ren away, but she acted on instinct, a piece of her old self, and wrapped her arms around Ren's neck in a tight hug.
--
Ren's breath caught as Gene's arms went around his neck; he barely hesitated before hugging her back, dwarfing her small frame in his own, his chest painfully tight. Truth be told, he wasn't comfortable around many people. Gene had been the first, and for a while the only, person he could call a friend. To see her hurting, angry, and alone broke his heart. "I'm sorry," he said into her hair. He gave her waist a gentle squeeze, but let her pull away easily when she was ready; his hands lingered on her waist for a moment, the contact a reassurance for him - he'd missed her terribly. "Not just for, ah, forcing you to see me today. For... for everything that's happened."
--
Gene pulled away after a moment; she hadn't realized how tall he was and was on her tiptoes to reach his neck. She was hesitant to pull away. His support meant more than she could express in words, and it made her almost angry that she couldn't figure out how to tell him. Just the touch was more helpful than anything she had done in weeks of distancing herself, she realized, and she felt sad when he finally drew away. "No, d-don't be sorry. None of it was your fault. And I don't mind that you came, I just..." She flailed her arms, gesturing as she spoke and continued to even after she had trailed off. "Ren, I really don't know what's going on with me right now. I'm... I'm really angry at a lot of people, a-and I'm not sure what to do about any of it. I have bucket loads of problems and I don't know why. What did I ever go through-" She shook her head and cut herself off. "My point is, I don't want to dump all this stuff even I don't get on you. Can you get that?" She searched his eyes, looking up at him.
--
Ren didn't reply right away; he took her hands in his and considered them. The urge was to hug her again rather than reply, because what could he say to that? He wished he could sort her emotions out for her. "I... I understand. Or at least, I think I do? And I won't... push, or demand anything of you. But... I-if..." Pausing, he furrowed his brow and tried to put his thoughts in order. "If - you - you don't have to be alone because of it. If you want to be, that's... I understand." The urge became too strong, and he pulled her into another hug, bending down this time so she didn't have to reach up to him.
--
Gene was surprised when he took her hands into his. She almost used him to steady herself, looking into his eyes as he spoke, rambling. She felt so much guilt, all at once, it was crushing. When had she become incapable of dealing with her emotions? She felt guilty to be upsetting him, to have left him for so long, to have pushed him away at every turn. What could she say? Ren paused, and Gene opened her mouth to speak, to tell him that maybe she didn't want to be alone, even after everything, but he wrapped her in another hug before she even got the chance. She clung to him, raising herself a little so he didn't bend as far, his presence the only tether she had. "I'm so sorry, Ren..." She said into his hair, "I don't want to be alone." She knew it was true. She knew she should have questions, how she'd deal with so much, but she didn't. Not yet.
--
Holding her carefully, Ren let her hold onto him; he turned his head to try and hide the tears that were threatening. Sorting out the wash of emotions running through him would take him time, but there were more important things to attend to at the moment. "You don't have to be," he said once he was sure his voice would hold steady long enough. "I - the Whispers wouldn't appreciate having me bumbling around, but if - if you need something, you can write me. Or visit. Or... Or something. Hack our terminals." A bit of a laugh snuck into his voice at the end - she'd been a natural with the Archive's terminal - and he gave her a gentle squeeze.
--
Gene squeezed Ren before letting him go, feeling as if he was something precious and fragile she should be careful with as she released him, a tear finally falling from her right eye, and she wiped it away, embarrassed. She smiled, though, at his ability to make a joke, and chuckled. "Maybe. Or maybe not, given last time." She suddenly felt the need to avoid his gaze as she kept thinking. She didn't really feel she deserved to look anyone in the eye, especially not him. "Part of me wants to leave the Order; I was angry, I wanted something t-to hit, to be angry at... But I gave them my word, and..." She shook away her thoughts. "But yes. I will write. And you," she jabbed a finger at him, "Had better write back!"
--
"You have my word!" Ren gave her a mock salute, stepping back to give her a bit of room as he did so. He couldn't miss her sudden reluctance to meet his eye, but he didn't push - after forcing her to speak to him like this, he felt he'd more than overstepped his bounds. Honestly, he'd been expecting her to reject him outright, and this... He couldn't help the smile that grew on his face as warmth filled his chest. "The Order is lucky to have you. And... It, it may be beneficial? Something to focus on other than..."
He shrugged and made a vague, all-encompassing motion before falling awkwardly silent. What to do from here? Excuse himself and leave? Hug her again? Cry? How did one handle this sort of situation? All he could think to do was shuffle his feet. "And, ah... there's nothing wrong or - you... It's alright, that you're angry, and - I know you don't want to be, but -" Ren's face creased in desperation. He was going to bungle it and upset her again. "I... I'll write you a letter. Would that be alright? And for now, we can - we can get a drink, or go for a walk, unless you're busy - I didn't exactly make an appointment..."
--
Gene smiled at Ren's silly salute, looking up at him. How had she forgotten how easy he was to be around? She had been so angry, so upset, and all of a sudden that was just... gone. She watched him smile, and felt guilty for feeling guilty enough not to meet his eyes. She knew he noticed. "I'm not nearly important enough to make appointments." She told him before he continued to ramble. She couldn't help a part of her saying 'No, no, you can't, you'll be weak, you'll get hurt', and she felt a pang in her chest. She wasn't used to that; she'd spent so long hardening herself. He talked about her being angry, and she wished he didn't have to worry about that. "B-but..." She was hesitant, did she deserve this? She looked at him, though, so innocent, so friendly and kind... "I have some papers to fill out, but... Y-yeah?" She kept her arms right at her side, body language tense and unsure.
--
"Okay! I can wait here while you finish your paperwork. They, uh, they're used to me hanging around now anyway. And then we can..." Ren smiled at her, his heart swelling in his chest. Not that he couldn't feel Gene's indecision, the conflict still raging in her, but now he felt... hopeful. That he could help. That she would let him, and he wouldn't have to sit on his hands as she fought her way through it alone. "We can do what you'd like to do."
--
Gene grinned, forcing herself to loosen up. "O-okay! Umm... I haven't seen much of the new city, we could do that?" She didn't want to admit she'd been cooped up in the Whispers base for a long time. She was just happy to get out, especially with Ren. She took a step back, "I'll just be a minute?"
Ren nodded his agreement and took a step back himself, back into the bar proper. "That sounds good. I'll... wait. Over here." He gestured over his shoulder back at the table. Giving her a timid little wave and a smile, he took his seat again this time without his despondant air. Lil would be waiting for him, but she would understand.











