#gentless

[19silvermirrors]

Liushen week Day 5 — Switch 🎏

[existential-celestial]

David G. Benner, from “Soft But Not Weak,” in Desiring God’s Will (redacted)

[silvergrass]

At your own mercy

Would I ever feel more gentleness from anyone else than what I can experience from myself? How can anyone else give me more understanding, trust and escape than I can give myself? Is there anything else that I can ever trust with anyone else to provide for me? Then again, why ever try to find love? Why ever bother to give away anything in the terms of providing, to anyone else? “I don’t need you, but I want you”. Is this where this strange concept takes place? 

One thing remains, though. However I feel about everything else, it is still me and only me, against my own happiness. If I can’t feel happy with myself, how can I burden anyone else with giving it to me? Besides, how can anyone else have so much of it in excess to give it so willingly and freely? Are there people out there with such an overflow of love that they can gift it to others? And in such a circumstance, should we ever feel like we can accept such a fift? Not even a matter of accepting it, but accepting that it is better not to entrust someone with your happiness, even though it is their most honest intention. And this is how it all boils down to being strong yourself, doesn’t it? Trust that you can reach for happiness yourself, and you will. Trust that you can provide it for yourself. There is nothing else more comforting than the thought of you having the most real and tangible ability to make yourself happy. It is so difficult to reach, and therefore, isn’t it why so few ever breach it? Isn’t it just easier to depend on others to bring you what you’re really missing, what you’re craving, what you can’t bother, or cannot fathom to earn yourself?

[sabiheja]

He stared at me for a brief moment, laughed and then said, ‘I can’t believe that someone like you can kill.’ 'Why not?’ 'Because you are too gentle.’ 'And who said that to kill does not require gentleness?’

Nawal El-Saadawi, Woman at point zero