#geo.

[monards]

IGHNYGODOHMYGOFJMGYOFMFMOGMY

[piratejuliet]

@geoaksoy​

“no, i haven’t been sleeping. there’s work to do. and i think the coffee maker is broken. are you handy? can you fix it?” 

[kiwipharmer]

April 8, 2018: Divide

(ootd)

Theres even some days when I get upset and sad. Today was one of those days.

I might rant a bit, so excuse me. Part of being unique is having different kinds of emotions. One in particular today was frustration. There were many things we could do today, as per usual. Unfortunately Geo was having an odd phase. He didn’t seem depressed, but he seemed to be antsy over something.

I couldn’t really get a read on his emotions, and it kind of annoyed me. It was like he was half-assing everything he was doing today. I wanted him to leave the house and go out for a bit, but he just said no, for no reason. I asked him to draw, and he just said he doesn’t want to, which isn't unusual, but today it felt really insincere. He wanted to draw, but he didnt.

Instead he played league of legends all day today. Each time he tried to get off and actually do something, he said he got anxious and just went back to playing. We had many opportunities to do different things. Our family asked us to go see a movie, go out to eat, visit friends of the family. He said no to everything. Why? He wont tell me. Rather, maybe he didn’t even know himself.

Therefore, we did nothing today. It wasn’t the usual nothing due to depression, but a nothing due to nothing. An absolute maddening feeling to me. Sometimes its insufferable being with him. It makes me feel traped, like i cant escape his emptiness.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t hate being stuck in his body today. I wanted to be free to express myself and do what I wanted. I wanted to draw more, I wanted to drive a car around and feel the fresh air. I wanted to see outside. I wanted to be me, which I couldn’t today. I wasn’t mad. I didn’t yell. I just layed there and went to sleep.

Occasionally, I would wake up to check up on him, at which case it was the same thing. Him, staring at that screen. There’s something plaguing his mind, but he’s ignoring it. Hes blocking his thoughts out with that stupid game.

...Do I want to feel this anger? This hatred? No definitely not. Do I want to hate him? Yes, sometimes. Sometimes, I want to be the one in control. I hold myself back though, for my sake, and for his. A real internal fight could only end badly.

Yet, the resentment remains. A constant divide between us. The real question i have to ask him, since he’s probably reading along as I type this out...

How do you want this situation to go?

Do you want this to be a rebellious prisoner and a warden?

Or do you want it to be a nice driver and a happy passenger?

[piratejuliet]

@geoaksoy​

“i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i don’t think inviting strangers into our home is a good idea. let alone fifty strangers.” 

[menperfab]

Tuve una mala suerte con amores de conciertos, nadie puede salir ileso, una vez más fui jugandole al poeta sin saber nada lo apuesto todo por eso es que nunca encuentro otro modo. Sólo pérdida, encontré tu mirada y tú sonrisa, mis amigos lo analizan, todos conocíamos al culpable.

[mynarrowgauge-blog]

New Post has been published on Narrow Gauge Railways

New Post has been published on http://www.narrowgaugerail.com/railway/the-great-western-railway-act-1912-2-3-geo-5-historic-railway-act-5/

The Great Western Railway Act, 1912. [2 & 3 Geo. 5.]. Historic Railway Act.

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[mynarrowgauge-blog]

New Post has been published on Narrow Gauge Railways

New Post has been published on http://www.narrowgaugerail.com/railway/the-great-western-railway-act-1912-2-3-geo-5-historic-railway-act-4/

The Great Western Railway Act, 1912. [2 & 3 Geo. 5.]. Historic Railway Act.

Historic Railways on eBay:

The Great Western Railway Act, 1912. [2 & 3 Geo. 5.]. Historic Railway Act.

£0.99 (0 Bids) End Date: Saturday Jun-27-2015 18:59:08 BST Bid now | Add to watch list

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£0.99 (1 Bid) End Date: Saturday Jun-27-2015 18:58:41 BST Bid now | Add to watch list

[mynarrowgauge-blog]

New Post has been published on Narrow Gauge Railways

New Post has been published on http://www.narrowgaugerail.com/railway/the-great-western-railway-act-1912-2-3-geo-5-historic-railway-act-3/

The Great Western Railway Act, 1912. [2 & 3 Geo. 5.]. Historic Railway Act.

Most popular historic railways eBay auctions:

The Great Western Railway Act, 1912. [2 & 3 Geo. 5.]. Historic Railway Act.

£0.99 (0 Bids) End Date: Saturday Jun-27-2015 18:59:08 BST Bid now | Add to watch list

The Bristol Harbour Railway Act, 1864. [29 & 30 Vict.] Historic Railway Act.

£0.99 (1 Bid) End Date: Saturday Jun-27-2015 18:57:09 BST Bid now | Add to watch list

The Great Western Railway Act, 1864. [27 & 28 Vict.] Historic Railway Act.

£0.99 (1 Bid) End Date: Saturday Jun-27-2015 18:58:41 BST Bid now | Add to watch list