i've been trying to figure out for the past month why i just don't feel like writing fic stuff rn. i'm for certain it's not just writers' block, it's grief.
today i ran into this list of books just removed from the Nimitz library. the majority of the texts on race, racism and identity are ones i taught, read or included in my work.
we don't really have a name for this kind of grief, do we? teacher grief, scholar grief, archival grief just don't do it justice when you're watching your colleagues and your field get devoured. it's not even really anticipatory at this point either. this is the part where the once slow train speeds past you.
and there's this anger that comes from seeing how vulnerable people are when they're denied access to things that could have helped. it's bitter like a stomach ache from too much coffee, and it claws back at you when you think you're well beyond its grasp.
please do what you can to protect your local library or start a little free library with books about the real history of this place.

















