Garrison Sol, who despises Cal.
Sol, who grows up getting told off for only playing ball with anemone, who hears "why can't you be more like Cal?" more than they hear their own name.
Sol, who grows up as basically siblings with Cal, because their parents work so close, and it only makes sense that they'll sleep over sometimes and for their kids to have so much play-dates together. Sol, who seethes every time they have to be copped with him, and always tries to make Anemone play something just with them (because cant they have anyone just for themself alone? First, he steals their parents, and then their best-friend?)
Sol's who's dreams receive a stern talk and head shaking (pity in their eyes feels so much worse than anger). Cal's who's pacifism dreams receive soft rebuttal, yet such hidden pride in adults' eyes, that it makes Sol scream in their pillow every night.
Sol, who throws their loudest and biggest tantrum ever when Geranium and Fluorescent bring up Tirah moving in, Cal moving in. Sol, who runs away to Antecedent and doesn't come back for days, who spends days with Anemone and Kom, who feels so jealous, because why does Cal don't feel like Kom? Why can't he be like him, why cant he make Sol feel like how Kom can?
Sol, who comes back only after Tirah and their parents stop looking at each other in hallways, and there's none of her stuff left in their home. Sol doesn't speak with their parents for two weeks, and the house is filled with intense quiet, and Sol glares at Cal everytime they see him outside (they don't care how hurt and confused he looks. Do they?)
Sol who's so excited to tell their parents that they joined Garrison. Sol, who's just like their mom, Sol, who's finally obedient enough to be a soldier. Sol, who only sees disappointment in their parents' eyes, Sol, who gets sat down a few months later, and gets told that their attitude is atrocious. Sol, who is just violent, who just doesn't get it, who will never be as peaceful and good as Cal.
Sol, who fights the faceless and who holds Nem as she sobbing, because suddenly, the world ended. Sol, who mourns their older brother that day, too.
Sol who's mother dies before they even get ranked up, Sol who didn't even got to say goodbye that day because she worked so early and Sol had patrol, and fucking Cal got to see her mother one last time, instead of Sol. Cal, who dares to mourn and cry at the funeral as well, who looks in Sol's face, under the light of Glow, and says sorry. Sol, who doesn't want sorries, who just wants their mom. Sol who never talks to Cal again, who trains until they throw up (there's nothing to throw up), because coming back home means seeing how skinny and shallow their father became, and seeing no Fluorescent.
Sol, whose father barely looks at them, when they put on Garrison uniform. Sol, who doesn't get called over with a cheesy nickname anymore. Sol, who's best friend, tells them off when they complain about Vace insulting them, and who's suddenly 10 and a liar again. Sol, who doesn't have many friends anymore. Sol, who's still way too strange for everyone, no matter how good they can shoot or how many times they switch the white in their clothes with red.
Sol, who's all alone when shimmer takes their father.
Sol, who sobs like a child in geoponics, because their dad is gone, their mom is gone, and they don't have anyone.
Sol, who sees Cal looking at them from the doorway, and how dare he? How dare he become a chief? How dare he take their parents again? How dare he inherit something they valued more than anything (more than they loved Sol?)? They should punch him, put all of the hatred they felt in one hit straight in his face-
Cal, who has tear streaks on cheeks, and looks as heartbroken as Sol. Cal, who lost his parents, too. Cal, who reaches his hands to Sol, with such heartbreaking trust that it's almost pathetic.
Sol and Cal who hold each other on the floor, for they are each other's keepers. Like it or not.
Sol, who is deeply jealous of Cal.
