#germany posting

[dancinbutterfly]

These are called stumbling stones and they’re all over Europe.

These I finally noticed on my way to class in Walsrode today.

It’s an entire family. Mom, Dad, 31 year old Married Daughter, 28 year old Son.

The kids left Walsrode in 1935.

They were deported at different times and s were in, at one point, Auschwitz, Riga, The Warsaw Ghetto and Theresienstadt.

None of them survived.

That’s the reality of the Holocaust for most families.

This.

So if you see someone talking about Hitler? This what they want.

I said Mourners Kaddish on the street for the Neuman family in front of the business that was once their home.

Take a moment and remember them when people throw around the word genocide.

I’m traveling 3 hours by train tomorrow to go to the only Masorti services in the country.

As far as I know I’m one of the only Jews living in this country full time.

I looked.

There are as many Jews left in Germany as there are in Atlanta total.

Think about that as well.

Z’’l to Emilie,Ernst, and Paul Neuberg and Kathe Littauer (ne Neuberg) and to everyone else murdered in the Shoah for the crime of being Jewish, Roma or undesirable to the Nazis here in Germany, at Babyn Yar and everywhere else m.

[mocatdow]

I got both period cramps and a migraine call that being attacked on two fronts

[dancinbutterfly]

I have a queer teenager in my life now.

My roommate’s godchild is around and is 15. The Kid is lovely. I like them a lot. Nothing more affirming than a teenager thinking you are cool.

But we’ve talked some about queerness and identity and they came out to me and my roommate as enby awhile back. I am definitely the first transgender person the kid has met for a sustained time. And it’s good to be able to give the Kid the affirmation and validation I didn’t get.

Yes you are queer enough, no you have nothing to prove, yes you can change your mind forever until you die and it is always valid and queer - period.

Today the Kid was over and so I just did my T. While they were. Demystification of transgender existence is insanely important in my opinion. I never knew. How it works or why until I had trans people in my life that told me.

And after I injected I told the Kid the truth - that even though I stick myself with a two inch needle every week there’s still a part of my brain that’s like “Do you really need this? Are you faking?”

It means something that I can give something to the Kid and every time it makes them feel safe enough to share it makes me feel like I’m in a place I’m supposed to be. If only to be visible as a person who is alive this way.

Ya know?

[dancinbutterfly]

I went to the ER tonight (no I have not slept yet, yes I'm okay)

My roommate is in Lower Saxony and a pain in my right side got very bad very fast and I was like "oh shit that could be appendicitis" - called my sister who had her appendix out and she was like "yep. go."

Tried one new friend - they werent around. Tried a second new friend and was like "hey do you know an ER near by?" and he says "Yeah this one was good for me." So I grab my shit and I go. My pain has gone from a chill period cramp 3 to a 7.5 For A Person With Chronic Pain (yall feel me? I know you do.)

I get an Uber for what would be a 15 minute Night Bus ride because like fuck am I waiting 20 minutes for the bus (Americans...need to understand that this is fucking nothing here. It's a nothing wait for a bus and it is a nothing distance on the bus. But I was not able to wait.) Uber takes longer to arrive than he does to drive me to the hospital.

I breathe through the pain and get processed. Everyone speaks English which is a profound relief.

My friend has asked if I need anything and I say "if shit gets real I would like you to come actually because I dont want to have surgery alone in a foreign country" and later I ask for his last name because the hospital has said I need a contact in the city and roommate is, as I said, out of town.

When I get his last name friend informs he that he is in transit to the hospital and will be there in half an hour. It is 330 in the morning. We have hung out in person 3 times at this point. Granted they were 3 to 8 hour hangs? But still. Only 3.

But he comes to the hospital without me actually asking him to. And he helps. And he's fun to hang out with. And is just...kind and lovely.

We talk LARPing and music and about where we're from and about our families.

I have kidney stones not appendicitis and the drugs are goooooood drugs. IV and injection directly into my abdomen.

I leave with a bill of 70 Euros. Total. For the visit and the medicine I walk out with. My insurance is gonna reimburse me.

And I am loopy from the meds and he gets me home.

I have a support system here. I have a life here. I get scared and gloomy and frustrated but I have enough of a life that when shit goes down like it did tonight? I can make a call. I did make a call. And someone is on the other end of the line.

I've been in Berlin for less than 6 months and someone answered when I made the call.

Ich bin glucklich. So ich brauche das schreiben.

[dancinbutterfly]

As an American living in Germany learning German I fall more deeply in love with the English word “The” every fucking day.

Like damn baby how are you so sexy?

You’re practically German in your efficiency and utility.

[dancinbutterfly]

I have magical started pronouncing German words more correctly.

The secret?

If I pronounce everything like Joe Pesci? Or one of the Sopranos?

Suddenly? I’m getting my pronunciation right.

So now before I start I go “Hey hey Joey! How’s ya mutha?”

Cuz coffee at the bodega at corner costa a quarter.

And bam. My German accent comes out bettter.

Aber ich weiß, ohne es kann ich die Worte nicht richtig sagen

[dancinbutterfly]

BERLIN HAS OPENED ITS HEART TO CHAOS!

“Do you have a minute to talk about The Traveler? He’s my best friend. He’s a god and he’s super cool!” - Jester Lavorre probably

[dancinbutterfly]

I went. on a hunt across Berlin to acquire a Hannukia. The only place I can find is multiple transfers miles like 7km the city.

I got so lost. I changed trains 4 times.

But with the Bondi Massacre? I have never ever felt more like I AM going to do be determinedly Jewish on Hanukkah.

And I have a menorah now

And if you would like some hope?

Less than half an hour after I found out, at about 7pm US time, one of my most liberal USA goyische friends called me to see how I was doing. And someone close but not someone I talk to every day.

It’s Hanukkah. 🕎

I’m going to fight back by being aggressively Jewish and loving my people my G-d my faith and my land and the allies who are showing up.

It’s the only thing I can do.