you believed in him.
you believed that there was still a part of your suguru in him.
that's why you followed him when he deserted, when he left everything and everyone behind.
because you had promised. that one fateful night, you both had promised to follow wherever the other went. both of you deeply devoted to each other and completely willing to do anything to be together.
sometimes, while you were in bed alone waiting for suguru to leave whatever nonsense meeting he was having with his admirers, you questioned yourself if the love you once had was still present.
occasionally, you saw in him glimpses of your old suguru, that young charming boy that was capable of disarming you with a simple yet meaningful smile.
other times, you felt just like one more of his admirers, not a person but another pawn in his thoroughly planned scheme.
more times than you would like to admit, you resented him. you allowed yourself to feel a smidge of hate to the man that gave you everything but at the same time, took it away.
every night he tells you that he loves you, but does he really remember what love is? he has changed so much, almost to a unrecognisable point. does he truly remember the love he felt for you? is his love really sincere?
these are the things you contemplate about only when you are alone.
you have to believe that there is still a part of your suguru in him.
because if there isn't, if he is truly gone
who had you been following?
who had you promised your entire life to?
you just want your lover back, but what if is too late for that?