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Story Time!

So my brother is a weird dude that just finds himself in weird situations while I am the agent of chaos that either helps him get into those situations or just cackles at his misfortune. Here is a story where I just cackled and it’s from my brother’s perspective and words.

So, I'm driving and I take a wrong turn. I pull off into a dead end quick to check the map on my phone. This... unmarked car follows behind me and stops. This is a very unpolice looking car. So like a Saturn. Three guys get out, walking towards me, and I just get the feeling they're cops. Now, my first reaction is "oh no! They saw me on my phone!" So I put it away and start fiddling with my water bottle, acting like I don't see them. When they approached my window, they surrounded me. I look at guy 1 through the drivers side window, guy 2 in the back drivers side window, guy 3 through the passengers window, then back to guy 1. These men are wearing tan combat gear, thick, bullet PROOF vests, ammo pouches, a damn sub-machine gun, shiny police badges, and the look of a man that has given CPR to a dying child and failed. Guy 1, presumably done with my glassy eyed stare, tells me to get out of the car. I do, because whatever the hell this is, I know I stand not a snowballs chance in hell at making a difference. So they start rooting through my car. Didn't ask if they could, but I wasn't about to tell Thing #2 "No, you can't look through my empty backseat." I'm standing off to the side, getting padded for weapons by Thing #1 while Thing #2 brings a baggie of white pills to me, asking if I know what these are. I never saw that bag of pills before in my life, so I tell him something he's never heard before. "I've never seen that before in my life." I'm pretty sure he believed me, but he went and tested the pills anyway. Came back 5 minutes later saying "It's Tylenol." Then I remember having a mild headache months ago, and my mother insisting I carry a loose bag of pills in the car. Thanks mom.... Finally they pop my trunk and they pull out a copy of The Anarchist Cookbook. You know, the book that teaches you how to make bombs, napalm, drugs, chlorine gas, and counter government surveillance. That book. They turn to me, asking why I have this and without an ounce of self awareness, I say "You know, I've been meaning to page through that lately". As if they had asked me if I considered reading Catcher in the Rye. The three just look at each other with genuine confusion and tell me "You're a weird dude." I have to wonder what this experience was like from their perspective. Young kid parked in the wrong part of town, staring dumbly at both of your mates, acting shifty as fuck with a concealed bag of headache pills, telling you he finds to topic of illegal shit interesting. Wtf can you arrest him for? They let me go, and I finally sighed in relief as I drove away. So happy that they didn't find the baggie of weed I stuffed in my boot.

#story time #wtf #getting pulled over #weird dude