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ive just consumed 300g of carrots cut up with a significant amount of hummus i feel ill and thats probs because of the energy drink im having that is not a good combo but i must prevail and continue studying

#i really like carrots if u couldnt tell #i want . more #im gonna be orange soon bruh #that did start happening last year lmfaoooo i had to lay off the carrots for a few months #because i didnt want it to worsen #it was like a tan-orange because it was mid summer too so i started hetting more tan #getting*#i want my tan back pleas yhe anemia made me pale i look horrid and colorless i really dont like the fact that my mom wants me to use #whitening products and im like !! No thanks !!!!!

New hair

#i went a little darker and added in more brown #thinking about geting rid of the caramel next time #getting*#personal #me #hairdessser #hairdye

my mom will look at my steady career, fulfilling hobbies, and loving friends and still tell me i'm unfulfilled because i don't have a man

#its so frustrating like who AM i to you #'now we just have to work on you' amd the work is geeting me a husband #getting*#keep in mind ive never even asked for one or expressed much desire for a partner at all #i wonder if i excelled in my literary pursuits she would drop it (she wouldnt)#vent tw #note to self

Good morning and happy Saturday, Sweetpeas!! I hope you all have a wonderful day 💖💖

#yapping ʚїɞ #i only have one thing going on today #and then i can finally catch up on some sleep #it’s a resting day for sure #jet lag is still lingering because i went straight to work after grtting back #getting*#😔😔

hyunjin got the fifty shades of grey part of this right

#OMG THIS LOOKS INSANE I JUST #HELP #we are hetting a whole mv aren't we #GETTING*#I wont stop at anything less #please.dont #let this turn to what happened to b me #I AM SCREAMING DEAD #bye #stray kids #hyunjin #rue shut up

((After doing a bit of reflecting, I think I hit the root cause of my issues with rp, aside from paranoia and anxiety:

I have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style, and it wasn’t until now that I realized how much it has impacted my rp’ing, my blog activity, and my interactions with partners ooc.

This style, I believe, is the root of my paranoia and anxiety, which activates a flight response. This is the reason behind why I’ve left the rpc so many times, and annoyed the hell out of people in the process.

This style also explains my lack of enthusiasm for muses and rp’s, and other things that aren’t focused on myself or my muses.

I am not writing this in an attempt to excuse my actions; rather, I am writing this as an explanation as to why I am the way I am, and to apologize.

I am sorry to everyone I have hurt as a result of this. I am sorry for being so damn indecisive with my blogs and blog activity, for up and fleeing at the first sign of trouble instead of sticking it out, and I am especially sorry for making people feel as if I don’t care/am not putting forward the same amount of enthusiasm and effort that they give to me (basically not giving back what I was given, thus making things horribly one sided and as if I’m taking advantage.) I never intended any of this, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that it happened, and I will slowly make progress in fixing things.))

#ooc #psa #talking about this attachment style with a friend and thinknig back to past rp conversations made things hit home #thinking*#If anyone has any tips with regards to finding a therapist or working on gettig rid of this attachment style do feel free to let me know!#getting*

Sometimes I get messages from people wanting to be friends and we have real nice chats

Other times it's fucking

THIS

#dont ask about my percentage #or notifs #or the time #just look at this post haha funnyyy #also i told her im a minor right after that #so i have a feeling i wont be gettinf any more messages for her #getting*

((After doing a bit of reflecting, I think I hit the root cause of my issues with rp, aside from paranoia and anxiety:

I have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style, and it wasn’t until now that I realized how much it has impacted my rp’ing, my blog activity, and my interactions with partners ooc.

This style also explains my lack of enthusiasm for muses and rp’s, and other things that aren’t focused on myself or my muses.

I am not writing this in an attempt to excuse my actions; rather, I am writing this as an explanation as to why I am the way I am, and to apologize.

#getting*

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