Who’s Got Time For Death, Anyway?
Crossover: Danny Phantom; Spider-Man
Summary: What the actual fudge was New York’s Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man doing in the gut’s of a G.I.W. base in middle-of-nowhere Illinois?
And in a freaking overgrown test tube no less.
Danny had no idea, but it was probably the reason Tony Stark's ghost was screeching holy murder at the end of the corridor.
Danny had heard the news, like everyone else.
The news channels were always more interested in what would bring up their damned ratings than verifying their info, and the amount of shit the Daily Bugle put out by the minute was astronomic .
Danny had experience with misunderstandings and shitty news outlets both. He even had his identity exposed a pair of times, managing to salvage the secret by reverting time or altering reality.
Sam always told him he had horrible luck but also stupidly resourceful friends in stupidly good places.
Spider-Man had lots of friends too, but it seemed like it hadn’t been enough this time.
He had seen videos of the dude getting cats out of trees, helping old ladies cross the street. There was no way. No Freaking Way that he had tried to take over the world or whatever nonsense that Mysterio guy was spouting on national television.
So yeah, the halfa was firmly on the Spidey side of the situacion, even though he lacked a lot of context, but really, who but the really involved in that mess even knew what was going on for real?
As it was, Danny had found one Peter Benjamin Parker and gotten him to Fenton Works as fast as he could, deposited the teen on his bed and then proceeded to make sure that no one would barge in on him while he had a naked super teenage spider burrito on his bed.
He wasn’t feeling like explaining that to his parents, much less them finding out the truth, because that would be even worse . So better just- not do that.
What followed was, as Tony would later oh so helpfully describe, a round of fussing of epic proportions as Danny tried to get Peter as comfortable and non-slimy as possible.
It was very likely that he would need to incinerate some of his bed sheets when he was done, but sacrifices needed to be made for the greater good sometimes and it’s not like this was the first time he had to dispose of his bedding.
He was still mourning his favorite NASA set, which his parents had absolutely drowned in ectoplasm when he was seven.
To be honest Danny had thought that the intermittent glow was a nice touch, but they didn't let him keep it. Pretty hypocritical of them but well. Parents.
This seemed like nothing in comparison .
“I'm never going to forgive them for that one..” he murmured under his breath, elbows deep on his dresser while he tried to find the baggiest clothing he owned because again: Danny felt like a damn noodle.
Danny tried, he really tried, to not get distracted by the memory of the buffness.
Though maybe getting distracted by the thought of the very toned teen was better right now than allowing himself to get lost in the feeling of guilt that had been steadily growing deep on his guts since he processed the fact that Spider-Man had been trapped for who knows how long right under his figurative nose and he hadn’t done anything about it.
He cursed under his breath.
“It’s irrational to feel guilty about it..” he made his way back towards the bed and started cleaning peter’s face and whatever available patches of skin that didn’t compromise Danny's almost nonexistent heart rate the other’s modesty “I didn't even know he was missing to begin with-” how was he supposed to know the radio silence from Spider-Man was because he was captured to use as a lab rat and not the remaining avengers closing range around the youngest of the group?
Freaking illogical, but apparently his ghost half didn't care .
Danny wondered if it was crazy to argue with your own obsession.
Was it even possible? Because that’s exactly what all this murmuring felt like.
And he was losing against it too.
“Fuck, I hate this-! Not my fault. Nope! It's not. Nonono, he was not under my protection back then so I couldn’t know, shut UP-!”
“O̸̜̩͋̑͑́̍͐͝h̶̢̠̼̳̹̆͒͗̄̌̕?̴̧̬̭̰̟̔̄͋͒͗͆̈́̎̍ ̴̡̧̟̱͔̮̏̂̇̆̑͋̽͠S̸͎̤̈̈̂̋̀́͋̕o̸̢̲̟͖̯̞͖̮̠͊̆̃͝ ̷̧͓͖͈͗̿͑͗͌͌̇̐ḩ̷̡̡͓̥͚̦͌̐͘͠è̷̩̰̮̯̗͈̈́͜ ̶̢͈͕̞̹̥̣̣͇͚̈́̌͂͝i̷͔̾͗̇̈́s̸̢̤͚̙̮̝͎̯̫̈́̏́͒̍̓̑ ̷͉̺̭͚̝͔͖̟̂̀̿̅̾̈́͠n̸̢̳̝̳̥͍̝̤̓̂ŏ̴̧̞̹̠͎͈͙̲͍̌̏͆w̶̡̻̯̩̩̳͉̯̜͓̎͒̐̈?̶̨͍͕̩̤͈͚̣͎̞͐̿́̒͒͛͘͠ “
He wasn’t ashamed to admit it.
…Not right now, at least.
He had the right to do so because he had completely forgotten about the man, who still sounded like a damned psychophony even for the halfa. Danny had a pair of issues with those . Them being inside now was just making the sound worse.
He spun around to point a finger at the man’s faceplate.
“Don’t do that-” He hissed “Bad robot! no-!” Even with Danny honest to god hissing it didn't seem like the man would listen. Somehow understandable. Not only because he was Tony filthy-freaking-rich Stark but because the man, most likely, couldn’t even tell his voice was practically glitching and thus wouldn't understand Danny’s reaction and request.
“No, don’t-!” Danny interrupted again, raising both arms as if he could somehow keep the other silent by waving them around. “Don’t talk , you are giving me the heebie jeebies.”
“Ë̴͖̙͔́͆͑x̴͓͙͑̚c̒̈́u̴̺̙͍̓̐͋s̴̡̺̈́͆è̷̩̰̮̯̗͈̈́͜ m͚͚͙è̷̩̰̮̯̗͈̈́͜ ??”
Oh. An indigned Tony Stark wasn't the best course of action, was it?
“Wait, hold on , just-” Danny let himself drop to the floor and then wasted no time on wiggling under his bed, and then phasing through it a little when the wiggling was unsuccessful. “ah ha!” an ectoplasm shot.
He also had the Ecto Dejecto somewhere in here, maybe, but he figured that was too strong for a ghost who was still figuring themselves out. Danny didn't know how much the ghost armor reflected their, uh, original? counterpart so-
Considering he didn't even know what the original could do, or even how many of them there were – even with tucker gushing from time to time about them –, he definitely didn't want to find out via demonstration by a supercharged iron man ghost.
It would be cool, yeah. But painful. He didn't even want to think about the collateral damage, nevermind the unconscious teen that would be unable to dodge whatever hell was unleashed.
So an ectoplasm shot it was.
He had lots of those around the house and amity in general, just in case he needed a boost or a fight went downhill, this one would hopefully be enough to keep the armored man from sounding like the mother of glitches until they could get him into the zone.
“W̶̰̤̫̎̚h̵̲͎̮͖͠a̷̘͓̹͈̰̔̓̄̕t̶̳̞̰̳̂̀͊͜?̸̜͎̝̌̚̚ N̵̟͑o̷̩̻̥͛̋̄͐.̶̱̬̳̓̏ ̴̰̒̈́͛W̸̨̨̥̅̆̚̕h̵̢̼̫͗͒a̵̝̓t̶̨̢̨̛̮̓̍'̶̹̩͖͕̊͌s̵͎̙͑́̚ ̴̞̩̠̹͂t̷͕͇͋̂͝h̴͕̾̀̎͑ą̷̢͔̀t̷̖̉-̸̱͕̙͍͒̇?̶̦̰̭̳͐͋̈́̾”
“Less questions, more holding still- ..Ugh, It’s just ectoplasm, ok?” Danny sighed and conceded when the man started to look like a retreat would be his go to option. The reaction to the answer was immediate and clearly visible with the armor’s helmet disengaged
“Don’t make that face at me! Do you want to stabilize or not? We talked about this already, no one but the dead will be capable of sensing you in any way if you keep going like this- also you sound downright horrible . I hate it. Way too much. Stay. Still-”
“- Nͧ͛ͣͯ̚o y̎͗ͪo̲̼̰ū̮ͬ͗͆͛ͥͣ ̈́̍̅s̜ͯ̾t̅a̖̮͎̗ͮ̆ͫ̋̓̉ͤy̙͍̬͖̙͎͌ͭ̐͛ͬ sti̞ͦͧ̍͛ͬͥlͩͤl, k̸̬̍͝id- A͖͎͖̥̤̦̺̍ͪ̃̓ ̰̯̍͂̀͆̂̐ś͓̓͊͛̈͌ͮh̩͇͎͌͗o͂t̲̙̽ͨ͑͂ͯ?͖͐̑ͪ͗͆͑ ̲͚͕͎̩̒H̩̤̰̙͉̠̀̿̍̄͆ͭ̃o̖̟̥͕̪̓̃w̝̎̒ͥ̿̎͊ ͯŵ͉̯ͫ̃̀ö̪̟̻͑͋͌ǘ̩̘͔͓̃͂͐ͬ̓̎l̜͈̋̓ͬͩd͔̱̣̾͋̐̈́ͧ ́ẗ̫̙̺͕́̇̎͒̃hͮ͒̅a̓̉̀̂t̤͎̦̋ͨ̅̿̈́ ̇̑͗̌ͪͫḛ̫̔v̍̍͐ͫ̀ͬͣe̾͆̽ͧn͑̀̎͊ ̰ͮͬ̏̏h̝̹̿̍ͪͯͤȅ̘l̩͓͖̓̒̈́̂̀̿ͩp̺̃ͯͣ̃͋?͛͒ Y͗̊̌ô̪͉͒ṷ̯͉̃̂ͧ ͗̉j͔͚̮͖̣͍͐u͍̰̒̑s̗͙̼̲̺͂̌̓̅ͭ̂̇t̹͇̳̘͍̘ͭ͐ͯ̉ ̗͑s͍̤̖̤̬̙a̙͙̦̪̽̈́͛í͈̑̏̅ͤ͒̌d͓̞̺̪͂̃̒ͅ ̘̥̹̻͕̃̓̊ͯ̊iț̠̅ͪ͂̓̾͆͗,̳̥̤̪̔ͭͅ ̋̿Ḯͫ͛’͇̣̆ͨͫm̟̗̝̠̘͇͑ͮ̂̈̋̀ͭ ̻̺͗n̗̥̮̦̥̄̈́͒̓̓̾̏ͅō͚̓̈t̬͈͙͖̩͐ ̝̹̦̟̎͋eͧ͛̋ͪ̂x͍̫͚aͅc̟̦̥̹̖̒ͧ̾ͅt̪͙͉̎̂̍͊̅͋l͚̿͑̑̔̎y̭̦̣̝̅ͧͅ t̳̠͕ͫa͋ͥn͛̓̋ͯ̿g͊̑ỉ̠̙͌̀̃̏ͭ̎b̊ͦ̚l̤͙ͪͯe͉̳̜͚ͯ̂. ̦͉̥̳̱̊̎̏̑̆̇̚I̳͚̻͙͓̹̚’͓̖͙͎̿ṁ ̦̇͑̐ȋ̭̭̒ͧ̚n̪̜͂ ̪ͦ̈́̑́ͪa̗̤̔̆ͧ͗͂r͙̠͎̜̣̓̏ͨ̽̇ͦm̅̒̾or͕̆ͯͮ.͉̞͆̈ ͭ̈́H̽̚o͇͌̒̂ͣͨ̿̐ͅͅw ̓̓ͬ̔ͪå͔̲̤re̖͍͌́͒͆ͯ ͯy̋̏̆̔̑o̥͎͕̜̦͎̅ͪu ͤ̊̔͂̓̓ẻ̠́͒͐͛ͤ̉v̼͒ͦe̟̖̖̭͙n͎ͧ̍ ̤͈̗̥ͩ̈͌̀g̠͚̫͉ͮͪ́̚o͆̑̋̎ͪͫi̜̭͎̗̰̜̓n̯͍̎̅̌ͣ͐̌ͦg ̤̣̫̣̓̌̐ͅt̰͊͑͛̿͛ȍ͇̭̑̌ ̝̩̿i̳̺̘̼͓ñ͔̫jͭͧ̌ͣē͕͎͉̰c̏ṫ͈͇̱̹͉̫ͯ-͍ͣͩ̀̾̅”̇͆̇͒ͭ͛ͧ
No one had ever accused Danny of having good bedside manners.
Never mind when dealing with billionaires.
Danny might or might not have ended up stabbing him a little.
It was a tiny bity needle anyway, and the man was already dead .
It's not like it mattered that much at this point, Danny had dealt with – and done – much worse-
And it had worked, so ha!
“Told you” Danny deserves to be smug, he really does.
Tony, meanwhile, was beyond done with this death thing and he wanted to give it back right now, thanks.
“..that makes absolutely no sense”
“it kind of does actually,” when you had some years under your death belt at least, “if you swing your head to the left a little and squint just right -”
His response was a disbelieving look, a look that got interrupted midway when the man got distracted by something over Danny’s shoulder.
It didn't take long to figure out it was by the sight of one Peter Benjamin Parker, still lying pale and weirdly still on the bed. Emotions all over the place, even if his face remained mostly blank. The older superhero was looking at the teen with-
“It’s not your fault either” Danny offered, quietly, then a thought crossed his mind and he murmured under his breath “At least I hope it isn’t ”
That gained him some indigned spluttering from the man.
“Sorry old man, nothing personal.” The sputtering stopped, but Tony still looked offended. Danny wasn't sure if it was still about the implication or because of the old thing. It didn’t really matter. “I just have bad experiences with billionaires”
A raised eyebrow. “How many do you even know ?”
“One too many.” Danny sighed. “And you, now, so that’s two I suppose”
He didn't really get a response beyond a distracted hum because Tony’s attention had gone right back at Peter. After a moment the man replied.
“It is sort of my fault.” At Danny’s little frown he proceeded “Not directly, mind you, but the Mysterio fiasco was all on me, the kid shouldn't have needed to deal with the fall out.”
And so, explanations ensued.
Danny winced through a good chunk of them.
“Yeah” Tony grimaced, and then grimaced harder after catching a glance of the new bright green of his armor. He would have to do something about that later. Peter was a priority right now.
“So, after his identity got out things went tits up, the government got greedy- color me surprised- then what?”
“Do I look like I know what the fuck is going on in the head of those morons-? No, don’t answer that. I don’t. There. Short answer. Easy digestion. All you need to know is-” Tony glanced back at Peter, pretty concerned by the null signs of recovery because “he should already be better, whatever nasty chemicals they put on him are messing with his metabolism”
Umh, considering it had been the GIW then there weren't really many options, and it’s not like Danny hadn’t thought about it before this.
“Far frozen it is, then” at the questioning look he elaborated before the man got started with the questions. Again. “Allies of mine, they are good with health things. Got me out of tight spots more than a couple of times.”
And thus, Danny started to arrange things for the trip with Tony’s curse packed rambling as background noise.
“-Fuckin Ross. Fucking HYDRA. Fucking Government- When I get a grip on this and go back, and I will , they are going to try and put a damn leash around me and the kid. Oh, I want them to try, I dare them to try- ”
“I mean, you are technically no longer under US jurisdiction- is that what is called?“. Tony turned around, so Danny continued. “You know, being dead and all? Sorry, I keep forgetting beginners are queasy about that word at first. “
“Beginners..” Tony repeated the word. It didn’t make a difference. “What is this, a netflix subscription?”
“Yeah, but the free trial period never ends. It’s a whole deal around here, you get used to it” Danny winced after a pair of seconds, “sorry. Too much. I mean, you don’t necessarily have to stay here, here, to get it, but you do need-”
Tony waved him off, they could get back to that later if necessary. “You said I'm no longer under US jurisdiction. Then who’s? There’s got to be someone trying to call the shots even in death, the maniacs”
Danny nodded, a little nervous. “Uh.. there are- royals? in the zone? And the observants. But nobody gives a fuck about them- Oh, and some democracies too, but those are pretty young in comparison and most of the ghosts are ancient as fudge, so- actually, scratch that, I'm pretty sure you can find almost every type on there if you search long enough, but most ghosts just run on Anarchy Mode, the damn jerks-”
“Whoa whoa I’m gonna need you to stop there, Casper.” Once the teen seemed to give Tony his attention the man continued, “The ‘Zone’?”
“Yeah, the Ghost Zone” at Tony's look Danny remembers- “Oh man..you are new, like, really new. Of course. Yeah, ok. Since the beginning then”
This was going to take a while.
“Who were those guys anyway?”
“The G.I.W. or Guys In White”
“I know, dude-” Danny sighed. “I know .”
