l'union fait la force
for my lovely child,
consilian
what am i writing anymore what is this?
i’m so sorry my child we were talking at 4:27am when i was all gross and sappy and i could not help myself. this is for our jun/mark au because i didn’t want to study for my final. i’m sorry this is lapslock and there is literally no rhyme or reason to these snippets just thoughts and feelings.
happy early birthday i’m only giving this to you cause you asked for it early. play some sad kpop piano covers in the background okay? okay.
it starts off in second person, but then switches to third do not worry
your friendship with him is one forged through time, through years and experiences, and you wonder what he sees in you. what a lord, a noble, sees in someone so plain an ordinary as yourself. you don’t have much to offer him, no status, no dowry, nothing but your companionship, loyalty, and service, but he seems to accept it all the same.
he was born to change the world, you think to yourself.
it’s clear even at this age. he has a beauty that radiates from the inside, a grace that’s absolutely immeasurable, and a way with people that comes so naturally. you can’t even find it within yourself to be jealous because he carries these traits around effortlessly, so humbly. he is completely unaware of the effect he has on everyone around him, and your heart constricts when you see delicate young women with features so perfect and porcelain, fall for his charm. he’s going to take high society by storm
.
mark want to tell them all that he knew it first, that he fell in love with him first, but he feels so hopelessly normal next to junmyeon’s straightforward perfection. mark doesn’t have the social status or the money or the power or the family to dress himself with, can’t use any of those things to elevate himself to even try, to get on the same level as his young master.
so he gives up on the though, banishes those traitorous thoughts to a part of him that will never resurface, and continues to respect junmyeon as only a friend ( but even that’s not really allowed, he thinks. from the outside they’re not friends, just a lord and his servant. ).
he admires the way junmyeon keeps to his idealistic principles and individualistic style, in a world where money is power, and trends rule the masses. he manages to stay true to himself even with all the temptations and luxuries.
please don’t ever change -- is mark’s unspoken plea. but it’s not his place to say, so he keeps it to himself.
.
later on, after countless parties and gatherings by junmyeon’s side, after attending all of these events with the young master, he starts to feel eyes on him. he wonders why they even bother looking at him when junmyeon is there--he’s the one who actually belongs there, but soon enough junmyeon notices the stares too.
“but why?” mark inquires as he helps the other male take off his heavy outercoat.
the laugh that sounds in return makes mark frown, confused. he wasn’t making a joke -- “because you are a handsome, healthy young man among many unsubtle, old perverts with too much money.”
“money that i do not have.”
a brow quirks upwards as junmyeon turns to look at the younger. “there are a few who do not think money matters.”
mark accepts this answer, nodding slowly as he hangs the jacket on a hook. do you? is the question that dies in his throat, one that will always remain only a thought.
.
when the riots start, he worries about the whole kim family. there is a slight attachment because they are kind, and though they have their moments, overall they are one of the better noble families. there is also a fierce loyalty because he’s been here since he was a child, and his family has worked for the kims for years now.
but mark fears for junmyeon.
.
no matter what ends up happening, junmyeon will always be a part of him. he’ll always be mark’s first love, and he’ll never forget him. he feels disgusted over the feelings he has, knows they’re unnatural, realizes that junmyeon is only being him, so kind and wonderful and gracious to everyone who comes in contact with his sphere of existence, and that mark is misinterpreting these actions and words as something more.
as something they’re not.
.
when this is all over, junmyeon promises mark in a hushed voice, when all of this is over, you two will run away to a place where no one will know where you are. where no one will know the young master junmyeon kim and his faithful manservant mark tuan, where they can just be them, two young men who have conquered the war currently being waged, who have come out alive -- together.
in response mark just stifles his laugh, doesn’t nod nor give affirmation, just laughs at the absurdity of it because he’s already given up on an idea like that. stay concentrated on staying alive, he intones just as quietly, and save the bedtime stories for when we can sleep without one eye open.
.
and now he thinks that he’s been so selfish, wanting a happily ever after with the man that’s not only his lord, but his best friend, rival, confidant-- oh god, mark thinks, this is punishment for feeling the way he feels, he repeats the mantra in his head as he puts pressure on the wound. it’s irrational, but he’s desperate and there’s so much blood on the both of them. take me instead, just give him back to me he prays to someone that he doesn’t believe in, i’ll take any ending if it means that he’ll live. because it’s so foolish to think that they would ever be happy just like this, with their own dynamic, in their current roles, living in a world where everything is against them.
mark presses his ear to junmyeon’s chest, tries to ignore the rushing of blood in his own head to concentrate on finding a heartbeat. hoping, praying, wishing--
a hand touches his hair gently, and he startles, pulls away so he can get a good look at junmyeon’s face. that same hand goes to wipe moisture away from mark’s eyes, and he can’t even tell if it’s sweat or tears anymore, and internally, mark realizes what this means.
maybe mark and junmyeon will never get their happily ever after, but mark decides here and now, that he’ll settle for a hundred sadly ever afters, as long as junmyeon is alive, and as long as he can stay by his side, no matter what the role.
pairing: taethem or whatever this ship name is
length: 3,500+ words aka too long dont look at me
rating: it’s pretty pg-15??? some implied stuff but
that’s about it
for tumblr user krisanthemvm. you know why?
because it’s been a year since I stepped foot into krp
and a year since i’ve known you. you’re one of my
first rp partners in krp indie and i’m so blessed to
still be writing with you! i love you and thank you!!!
You're so fresh, man
i.
Even with all the volunteers it’s difficult getting all her shit -- her whole life so far condensed into four suitcases and a few bags -- into her new dorm room. Taehyun meets her roommate, a tall, attractive, young woman ( “I’m Lee Dahye! Oh--wow, I really like your nails! They’re short but the color is so pretty--” ) whose boyfriend lives two floors above them. “We’re going to be best friends!” she says enthusiastically as she grabs Taehyun into a hug. The shorter of the two pats her roommate on the back and tries to reciprocate the energy, but all she want to do is get her mattress pad and sheets on her bed, unpack, and then socialize. She plays music through her bluetooth speakers to combat any empty space that they don’t fill up with words. Although the first impression is a little overwhelming, Taehyun thinks that her random match-up roommate wise -- well, she’s not that bad.
Two hours later, it’s their first floor meting with their RA and the other residents of the Fourth Floor in the South Towers.
It’s an eclectic gathering of people and generally -- the roommates stick together, little duos with clear spaces between them and the other stranger strangers.
Well, except the really tall dude leaning against the wall. He looks like he’s scowling instead of the general nervous excitement of finally being in college, but that the person that looks like his roommate is kind of.........terrifying, so she doesn’t blame too-tall dude.
Later during introductions and icebreakers, she learns that his name is Krisanthedem Xiong Hhuaior;hw or something ridiculous like that, he’s originally from China, and that he kind of really likes honey badgers ( what’s a honey badger? ).
ii.
‘i need the room sry and thanks!!! like 2 hours just to be safe!’
-- the text makes her push her lips out in frustration. She’d been looking forward to collapsing on her bed and taking a nap before going out to eat with a girl from her Human Resources Management class in a few hours.
Instead, she settles herself on the couch in the lounge, and drops her backpack on one side. It takes a few minutes of almost nodding off before she shifts, and lies down across the surprisingly comfy furniture. Taehyun is asleep within minutes, and who cares if someone takes a selfie with her while she’s sleeping? It’s college! People are sleeping in weirder places all over the campus!
It’s three hours later and the combination of someone tapping her forehead and her phone vibrating by her head, that wakes her up. She opens blurry eyes, blinks a few times before immediately checking the time and -- shit, she’d just accidentally stood up the girl from Human Resource Management ( was her name like, Minhee or something like that? ). But she’s still hungry, and the dining hall closes in an hour.
Taehyun turns her attention to the person that’s woken her up, Chrysantheeaiduboajvvm -- and before he can look surprised that poking a sleeping person usually causes them to wake up, she holds up a hand and asks, “Do you want to go eat with me? I’m sexiled, but more importantly, I’m hungry.”
She knows she’s chatty, but he listens really well. When they finish getting their food, they sit down across from each other and she pauses. “You don’t talk.”
He raises his brow at her, and vaguely waves his fork in her direction. “And you talk too much.”
An hour later they leave the dining hall just as it’s closing up, and she’s laughing at the lopsided ice cream cone he had made for her. “These sprinkles aren’t even-- evenly distributed!”
When they part ways back at the dorm, he tells her to just call him Anthem.
iii.
There is no guaranteed housing for sophomores. The mantra repeats in her mind as she fills in her housing application for next year. It doesn’t really matter if she’s on or off campus, but being on campus just makes everything easier. Faster access to her classes, her friends, and the idiot of a best friend she’s made over the course of this year.
“Make sure you set your preferences to co-ed--” Taehyun leans over his lap to get at his laptop, and scrolls through Anthem’s application to make sure everything is the same. He freezes up, and she worries that she might have accidentally kneed him in the balls or something, so Taehyun looks up, and shoots a curious glance, “--you okay there?”
Anthem starts coughing into his hand, and eventually clears his throat. “Yeah, fine. Uh -- allergies. They’re really bad this year.”
Soft, stay quiet. you want more?
iv.
They’re living on the same floor again, and though Taehyun’s roommate is still the same as last year -- despite the sexiles every now and then, Dahye is usually out of the room so things end up working out -- Anthem gets some track star douche named Minhyuk or something.
Somehow they adopt this system, where they’re practically each other’s roommates. Dahye is never in Taehyun’s room and Minhyuk is rarely in Anthem’s, so when they get off the elevator together there’s always this little argument of who is going to bring all their shit to the other person’s room to study/waste time/hang out/procrastinate.
v.
When Anthem gets pink eye from his roommate, Taehyun is the one that drives out of her way to get him medicated eyedrops from a minute clinic. He’s a big baby about letting her do his eye drops, but his eyes are all crusty and it’s kind of gross but they’ve both seen each other at their worst so she only grimaces once when she takes off his sunglasses.
Taehyun proceeds to sit on Anthem’s chest and use her knees to hold his arms down.
He doesn’t thrash around as much at this point, though he threatens to do a multitude of pretty mean things to her. However when Taehyun gets off him, he blinks a few times, and admits that his eyes are a little less scratchy.
Satisfied, she screws the cap back onto the eyedrops and puts it on his desk. As she’s about to climb off his bed, Anthem grabs her around the waist and pulls her to him, her back against his front, and she struggles. “Don’t! I don’t want to get pink eye from you!”
“You’re not going to get it,” he mumbles, turning his face down into the pillow and he holds tighter. “Just don’t touch your eyes.”
There’s no way she’s escaping his grip, so Taehyun simply stops moving, relaxes her body, and fixes her side of the pillow, sticking her hands under the fluffy thing, and trying to stifle the butterflies that flutter around her stomach where his warm palm holds her.
On the bright side, Anthem does have a really comfortable mattress pad so his bed is A plus.
vi.
“I’m bi, seriously! I just have a preference for women. They haven’t majorly screwed me over yet so -- yeah.”
“Except when it comes to the water polo captain.”
“Lee Joon is like in peak physical condition have you seen his abs? His arms? His everything? Look me in the eyes and tell me that he isn’t a good looking man.”
“...okay, so I think I’m writing my research paper on The Tempest--”
“Uh-huh, that’s right.”
“You talk too much.” he says simply, conveniently ignoring her.
“And you don’t talk.” she huffs in response, trying to reach under the table to kick him in the shin.
vii.
It was bound to happen. And when it does, she wakes up first, dresses, and leans over the bed to kiss him on the cheek. He’s still snoring, but she scribbles a messy post it note and tacks it on the headboard so he’ll definitely see it.
I don’t regret a thing. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you. Don’t let this make things weird between us, okay?
--Tae
viii.
”Tae!”
She pauses, waits a beat before turning around and searching for the face to match the voice. It’s easy to spot Anthem, he towers over the majority of the crowd, but she debates trying to blend in with the people around her and loosing him. Taehyun isn’t avoiding him, per say, but she knows that they’re not hanging out as often as they usually do. Though to be fair, it’s finals season so she can easily throw out the studying card.
But he’s already more than 3/4ths of the way across the courtyard, and the sun splashes this weird, kind of beautiful, golden glow over his features, highlighting the mischievous glimmer in his eyes as he gets nearer.
“Where you been? I know it hasn’t, but it feels like forever--” His voice morphs from amicable to confused as he drapes an arm over her shoulders. “What are you looking at?”
The question is what shakes her from her train of thought. “Oh! Nothing, really.” She amends, shrugging. You.
You look happy, junior
iv.
Things get really busy during junior year.
Taehyun moves into an apartment just off campus with a few friends, but Anthem stays on campus. They don’t see each other as much, but she still sends him the links to the playlists she makes for him through kakao. Sometimes he’ll send her a few emoticons back, usually of the dog waving really enthusiastically, or the bunny slumped over drunkenly against a wall. Anthem texts her for advice sometimes, and Taehyun calls him when she needs someone to talk her calm.
Shit gets serious, and when she hears that Anthem gets himself a really pretty girlfriend, Taehyun wonders why she’s not the first to know.
But then she remembers that the last time the really talked was when he thanked her for sending him a mini-cake and a pair of bass-amplified headphones for his birthday. The present had been delivered to his door because she didn’t have time to drop it off herself.
Their schedules didn’t really match up.
x.
When he gets his heart broken just in time for winter holiday, Taehyun promises her mother that she’ll be home for spring break, but not this one. She shows up in front of his dormroom with the clothes on her back, a sleeping bag, and a pair of shorts tucked into the mess of blankets.
“Remember gymnastics girl? She was walking out of your building and let me in. I take back what I said about her last year, she’s really quite nice.” There’s a huge grin on her face, and though she might be a little incredibly nervous, it’s really nice to see him again.
Anthem is speechless. Everyone on his floor has gone home for winter break. He’s still in the dorm out of choice. The heat in the rooms is broken, and since everyone is gone, getting it fixed isn’t on the maintenance team’s priority list. He didn’t realize just how much he missed Tae until just now. These are all facts.
He dwarfs her when he hugs her, and Taehyun turns her head into his chest, wrapping her arms around his middle. She feels safe.
Later, they grab Anthem’s mattress and move it into the floor’s lounge, where the heat does work. They close the doors into the communal kitchen and the one leading to the hallway to conserve heat, and settle the mattress down in front of the floor to ceiling windows that look out over the courtyard ( this area is also really close to the radiator ). Their next trip has them holding handfuls of pillows and blankets, and they basically have a huge sleepover in the lounge on Christmas Eve.
Taehyun borrows one of Anthem’s sweatshirts to sleep in, and tugs on her shorts underneath. They talk, make fun of each other, and catch up. When the clock strikes midnight, they wish each other Merry Christmas and drift off to sleep soon after.
She curls into herself at one edge and her toes are cold, but even though this is basically a reunion, she sticks to her side of the mattress, a little awkwardness showing through her actions.
It’s been a few months.
When Anthem wakes up first later that morning, he find her sleeping soundly in his arms, hair tousled and limbs tangled in the thick comforter. Her toes are no longer cold, and he props his head up with his hand and clenches his fist, resisting the urge to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. The woman tucked up against him shifts, and he freezes, watching as she tries to move closer. Taehyun did always gravitate towards heat.
This feels normal, kind of, but everything also feel severely different.
Outside, the landscape is dusted in a powdery white, light snowfall continuing to build up. Anthem knows that Taehyun is going to want to go outside when she wakes up so for now, he lies back down and brings the comforter up over them, savoring the warmth for a bit longer.
Senior years mean the end
xi.
They decide to rent an apartment together with three of their other close friends. It’s literally the best decision they’ve ever collectively made yet, and senior year starts off with a bang. Things carry on as per usual on the surface, though she feels different about him and he feels different about her -- as in way, way, different than when they had started in freshman year.
But they don’t talk about it.
xii.
Home stretch rolls around, and it’s a particularly rowdy night downtown. Taehyun has a line of stamps up her arm, one for every bar or club she and her friends have gotten into for free by flirting with the bouncer. It’s a lot of ‘oppa!’-s and ‘i’m graduating!’, which she hates pulling out, but it works so she puts on her best pout and works with her friends to skip the lines.
She ends up partying a little too hard that night, but at least she’s responsible enough to call someone to come and get her. There had been more than a few offers of guys wanting to take her back to their place, but Taehyun refuses because she doesn’t want anything fucked up to happen when she’s so close to being done. So she just sits on the curb, legs crossed, as she waits for Anthem.
It doesn’t take him long, he’d been hanging out with some of his guys friends at a chicken and beer place a few minutes away, but he’s considerably more sober. When he sees her tapping at her phone ( she’s letting her friends know that she’s taken care of, and to just keep having fun -- ) Anthem crouches down, and pockets her phone after she sends the group message. He takes her hands and helps her stand up, then with a little maneuvering, gets her in a piggyback position.
Her arms wrap around his neck naturally, and she leans her forehead against his shoulder.
“I think I could-- like, sheriously? Like, marry you.” Eyes closed, Taehyun is only focused on how secure she feels with Anthem, and how he’s stuck with her for the past four years. “But you...you’are going back to Huaangh, Hwansha-- China so, I don’t think I can marry us-- you, yeah.”
Anthem’s grip tightens around her thighs, and he doesn’t say anything in response, simply acknowledges the statement with something between a grunt and a ‘yeah’. He’s planning on going back to settle some things, maybe stay with his biological family for a bit, and figure out where he wants to plant his roots.
Taehyun continues to ramble at him; about her future, his future, graduation, how she thinks painting an apartment with him would be disastrous but hilariously fun, and how she probably wouldn’t mind kids if they had his smile.
“You talk to much.” -- is what he tells her when they get back to their apartment.
She strips her jacket and shoes, and lays stomach down right on top of her covers. “You don’t talk!” she responds back, pulling the trashcan closer, just in case.
xiii.
“ Congratulations to the Class of-- !!! “
The President of their university doesn’t even finish his sentence before the cheering and cap throwing starts. The robes are itchy, they’ve already received their diplomas, and no one tripped while on stage. Taehyun considers this a huge victory for her graduating class so on the women’s side, Taehyun is the first to rip th cap off her head, bobby pins be damned, and toss it up into the air. On the other side, Anthem has the same idea, and they make eye contact through the mass of blue robes and square shaped projectiles as everyone follows in their footsteps.
She smiles at him, ecstatic and a little sentimental with a million things she wants to say, but Taehyun swallows those words behind her teeth and keeps them as thoughts. Anthem looks so handsome, and it’s hard to believe he’s the same person that woke her up from her nap four years ago. Maybe she owes some to Dahye. If her freshman roommate didn’t sexile her that first week, she might never have Anthem in her life.
When they finish their march out of the auditorium as graduates, Taehyun makes a bee-line for her family. She gives her little brother a noogie as he hands her a bouquet of flowers, and with his messy hair he kisses her on the cheek as her dad snaps pictures. Her mom gives her a hug, dabs at the tears forming in the corners of her eyes, and poses with her eldest child, proud to death.
Anthem walks over with his Korean parents, who have the same facial expressions as Taehyun’s parents. He offers to take a picture her whole family, and she beams at him.
One, two, three, it’s a quick succession of them because he knows his hand is a little shaky. Anthem just hopes that there’s a stable one in there somewhere.
“Thank you,” Tae says, smile genuine. There’s more weight to her words than either of their families understand, but Anthem shakes his head, turning as his mother gives him a beautiful bouquet of purple, pink, and white calla-lilies, Taehyun’s favorite flower. Her hand goes to her mouth, and she takes the arrangement gently, careful to hold it aside when she wraps her arm around his neck to bring him down for a hug.
In the background their mothers exchange knowing looks, and Tae’s brother sticks his tongue out as a joke, but Anthem’s father takes subtle pictures to send back to Anthem’s biological parents.
“Alright you graduates, let’s get a picture of you two together before we try and gather the whole friend group for a massive picture!” Taehyun and Anthem both laugh, knowing that their friends are all scattered throughout the auditorium, but for now they’re both here.
He wraps an arm around her shoulder, and she wraps one around his waist, holding her armful of bouquets in the other. They both give wide smiles to the cameras, and at the last minute, Anthem bends down to kiss Taehyun on the cheek.
fin. -- ?
“Parking is going to cost me a fortune,” she mumbles as she helps Anthem wheel one of his suitcases to his terminal. But it’s worth it because she needs to say goodbye. The car ride had been mostly idle talk, any random shit that came up, a few mini arguments with no real heat behind them, and a lot of banter.
But when they enter the airport, she falls silent, arms crossed as he gets his seat and check in information done. Taehyun is with him up until the last second, and she’s happy for him, really, but there’s a weight in her chest that sinks down lower to settle in her stomach with the passing time. Her heart aches, and there’s an uncharacteristic silence between them as they wait. A few words pass, but when the clock strikes 3:48pm in Seoul, South Korea time on the huge monitor, and Anthem gets up slowly, picking up his single carry-on bag.
Taehyun panics internally, and moves in front of him, pulling off the shades he’s still wearing. “Don’t be that douchebag that wears these inside.” The lead in is tough love, something she’s really very good at with him, but her next words are genuine, if a bit shaky. “Don’t judge me, but I think I might love you.” she confesses slowly, getting up on her tip-toes to press each word against Anthem’s lips slowly. “It doesn’t really matter now, but I just needed you to know before you leave.” Her voice gets softer by the end of the sentence, and she folds the sunglasses into his shirt, eyes trained down and away from his gaze. There’s a few beats of silence, and she’s really panicking now inside, but then --
“You don’t have to wait for me,” Anthem intones tenderly, just loud enough for her to hear. “Just stay my friend, and don’t forget about me.” He presses a kiss to her hair, and tugs her close for one firm, final hug.
They both try to imprint this moment to memory, just in case.
Within the next hour Anthem’s plane departs, and Taehyun is stuck in traffic trying to leave the airport.
He’s got four years worth of screenshots, messages, pictures, and a brand-new diploma to show his biological family, and she’s got a thirty-seven minute drive back home.
