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Mom: Michelle, don't lay with the puppy. How would you like it if someone laid down on you?

Me being my gay, transgender self: Giggty

So every once in awhile I find these porn videos where these girls are trying out new toys or what's a new toy to me you know? And ever again, I actually buy those toys or something similar. And for a while for about like 6 months I've watched these girls use pussy pumps. And I am so freaking curious on how it would go. Let me tell you, they sell them for like $40 on amazon. And it takes a couple of tries depending of how your business is down there. Well mine's pretty tiny and it took some tries to get it to actually work without hurting. I didn't read the directions fully it actually recommends using lube. My dumbass right? So I'm sitting here on the couch the first night I got it and this mother fucker is louder than hell. You know what shame on me I should have known but apparently it didn't wake up my husband in the next room over so bonus cookies I guess. My first night I got it stuck on me, but I didn't want to wake my husband up and feeling embarrassed for him to have to take it off of me so I try to figure it out myself like a big girl. Well here I am it looks like I am literally jacking off my crotch trying to get this thing off because I don't think I put it on right I don't know, three orgasms later, painful and yet so worth it, I finally pop it off. And I look at it fucking petrified like it just suck the soul out of my crotch. And let me tell you the next day I could not fucking walk correctly, from somebody else's point of view it probably look like I just got a pounding of a lifetime. Far from the truth but I have never came so fucking hard.

So now we're going on to chapter 2, the same pussy pump is also made by the same company who makes the rose toy. Now follow me here, I tried it again and this time I had a great idea of just turning off the vibrator and the tongue of it, but keeping the pump on and then turning the pump off while it's still suctioning on me and leave it on there for like 10 minutes. And then I pop it off and I use the rose right after, they are not kidding when they say it will literally bring life back to your clitoris. I felt like I was having a spiritual awakening downstairs. I had to bite my hand to keep me from screaming when I was getting to my climax. These are dangerous toys that only should be used by a responsible adults not me who has a random urge in the middle of the day and can't tell if it's oh do I want a cookie or do I want to masturbate? Or why not both?

#giggty #i can't stop laughing #brain rot #why me #how could i resist #smut #jfc what is wrong with me