#gimletstoli

[zeldacat-blog]

gimletstoli liked your photo: i shouldn’t be wearing this shirt i shouldn’t be...

what are you getting at, sir

what is your point

[zeldacat-blog]

okay helen hello

Tag game

Rule 1 - Post the rules.

Rule 2 - Answer the questions the tagger sent you in their post and make 11 new ones.

Rule 3 - Tag 11 people and link them to your post.

Rule 4 - Let them know you’ve tagged them.

tagged by badvvan

1. do u like panic at the disco and if not wHY

um UM UMMMMM YES (didnt i introduced them to you whatokay)

2. who is hotter: matt or dom?

i like men. matt looks cutiersreawf

3. do u like the horrors and which dude is ur favorite? (there’s no right answer because they’re all perfect) if not who is ur favorite band dude in general?

i like the one with the hair. i like them but i just dont listen to the music yet because laptop is gay and omg matt bremis from say anything or gerrrrd werrrr from my chemical poopants (romance) lologm

4. what was the last show/concert you went to?

went with jacob to see danzig the day before halloween and he touched my hand and i was blessed that day

5. do you like the hunger games or harry potter better? have you even read both?

battle royal and ive read none of them nor do i want to but i like hunger games a bit more

6. what’s ur fave kind of film genre?

pyschological/thriller, romantic comedies, horror, classics, just good movies in general

7. dubstep: y/n?

it depends but mostly yaneh kinda

8. have you ever caught the emo?

what is 5th-6th grade for 200 please

9. which muse album is your favorite?

the one with the singing and the zippityboopboppolkejfazinggo

10. peanut butter: y/n?

jelly and yes ;_;

11. do u like on direction

i like north thats a good direction

what is a one direction?

NOW MY TURN MOTHERFUCKERS:

favorite quentin tarantino movie and why (if you don't know him write a suicide note)

genre of music you love the most

edward norton or brad pitt?

opinion on tim burton

do you wear glasses

where do you want to visit one day

do you do drugs if yes which and give me your number, if youre a dealer give me you're number, if you don't then why not?

ever catch your parents going at it (fucking)

opinion on niki minaj's ass

favorite author and why and which book do you like from them the most

who did you see at your first ever concert?

tagging: helen, clara, nicole, rojas, andrew, rob, edward, carlos, erik, jacob (fuck it), and danzzzz

do it just fucking do it all of you DO ITNFUEAWFEA

[zeldacat-blog]

I really hope no one reads this but I'm doing it anyway because I just don't know what to do.

Spoiler Alert: It's about Jacob.

I miss him so fucking much. I wish I can have another chance, I know I can make it up, I know I can do it. I just want him to be there when I finally pull myself together. But he's gone and there's nothing I can do about it, I try, I want to talk to him all over again. This waiting bullshit so doesn't help me. I should let him live his life, I should let him go on and do things but I just want to be with him so bad. I never wanted it to end like this, being it was my fault. I wish I had another chance, I know I broke his heart and just hurt him that night but I was just angry. He's done it to me so many times. I want to make it up. Not just for having him in my life, I just need someone right now that knows me so well and could help me become a better person. That's all I want to be. I just need him by my side though. I could find another guy, not really, not anymore. Not everyone left but people drifted away. I really don't know what to do sometimes. I cry myself to sleep every night knowing he's not there to hold me. I've never been like this with anyone. Yes, I'm young, I still have time, I'm fucking 14 going 15, why am I so hung up on a guy. Because he was always there for me. Ever since we met 3-4 years ago, he was always there. He stole me away from when I was unhappy and brought it to me. He gave it to me and I was always happy with him. No matter who I was with or what I was doing he just popped into my life sometimes and made me so happy. I remember sitting at VGB and him walking through and having that feeling of just to hug him and tell him I love him. We both thought we hated each other. But then we went out and it was so fucking awesome. I was so happy. Now I fucking ruined everything. Like always. This is my fault and no one can tell me it isn't because I know if I just let go when he walked away from me, everything would of been fine. This is my fault. This is entirely my fault.

I'd do anything to have one last chance. I would really make it count. Just one chance and I can make everything better. I know he's sad and depressed, he told me. He said he would get over it in a few months. I can make it stop, really. I promise I would, I need him happy. I want him happy no fucking matter what. I hope he still likes me just a tiny ounce. I can make it up, I can help him, I can do it and if I can do that I can do anything really. I would be so happy and everything would be nice. I would be such a nice person, the person I've always wanted to be. Now, I'm just mean to everyone, asking for help in the wrong ways because I can't even talk sometimes. I cry myself to sleep every night and I can't even deal with this. It's suppose to happen, it's a part of life. Just not now, not when I need him the most.

This feels a lot like last time. A huge mistake I did because I was fucking stupid. He leaves. Don't see him for another year or so. Then he comes back. But now I don't think he'll come back. I don't even know what will happen to him or what will happen to me. His writing on the ceiling are still there. The one that says "I love you with all my heart till the end of time". I remember when he wrote that and I made a joke saying how if we ever break up and I looked up to that I would cry so much harder. And that actually did happen. I tell myself everyday that maybe today he'll text me or call me or show up at my house like last time asking me back.

I just don't even know anymore. I'm no sure, I have to give it time, but it's so much fucking bullshit. It's been 6 days, what do you have to think about. He knows I would do anything for this to work. God, I don't even remember the last time we kissed. I don't even remember the last time we cuddled. I can't remember it, all I remember is the summer and all the memories and I can't help but cry. I can't help but get the feeling of getting hit by a bus right in the middle of my chest. I want to make it up to him. I want him happy. I just wish he gave me one chance, just one. Everyone makes mistakes right? This is my mistake, no, my HUGE mistake. At least I know it was my fault and I fucked up, I'm trying to fix this though.

I don't think I'll have another chance though.

This fucking blows so much.

I love and miss him so much.

I would give anything for a day with him, to make it all up.

To prove that I can do it.

[zeldacat-blog]

can we please look at this for a moment for the love of christ