If you’re in St. Paul and need a great children’s book, Giraffie is available at the Red Balloon Bookshop! #giraffie #childrensbooks #books (at Red Balloon Bookshop)
Okay, here it is. The love story you have all be waiting for. An epic romance for the ages. Better than Romeo and Juliet.
The tale of Giraffie and Keiko.
I have no memory of getting Giraffie.
That would be because I was so little when I got him that I can no longer remember it. He's one of my earliest stuffed animals, and he used to go with me everywhere.
I remember taking him to church and explaining to everyone that he was a giraffe and his name was Giraffie and I named him Giraffie because giraffe has an 'e' on the end of the word that has no apparent reason for being there, so I figured it was kind of like 'giraff-e'.
When I was pretty young, my mom made an entire Nativity scene with stuffed animals, sewing together each doll and sheep. Each of the camels had a nifty little blanket, and I asked Mom to make one for Giraffie too. She did, and he's worn it ever since.
When I was in first grade I was obsessed with whales, particularly orcas, particularly Keiko, possibly the world's most famous whale, who is best known for playing Willy in the Free Willy movies. (There were three of them. Yes, I was so obsessed with Keiko I watched every Free Willy movie ever.)
So it came as no surprise to anyone in my family that when I got a stuffed orca whale nearly as big as I was for Christmas, I named him Keiko.
(The promotional material wanted the toy to be a girl. 'She' even came with a baby orca sewn onto the body that I made my dad cut off with a pair of scissors. Keiko was a guy, but he could still have babies, he was just a daddy.)
Of course, since Giraffie was my previous favorite stuffed animal, and Keiko was my new favorite stuffed animal, it was inevitable that they'd become best friends.
And a little more than friends.
See, Keiko had his two children - a boy and a girl, and Giraffie also had a daughter. (She was a Beanie Baby I'd gotten from McDonald's. Does anyone else remember when McDonald's gave away cool toys like Beanie Babies instead of plastic crap?)
Anyways, they both had kids, and they were best friends, and their kids where best friends, and Giraffie's daughter called Keiko "Uncle Keiko" and Keiko's kids called Giraffie "Uncle Giraffie".
I was an impressionable and imaginative child, and one of my favorite things to do was to create stuff animal reenactments. After watching Free Willy, I'd throw Keiko over the railing of my bunkbed. I'd practically mutilate Giraffie so he could 'hold' his daughter out, like Simba.
I also liked to do real-life reenactments. Giraffie and Keiko would go to church or have birthday parties. Keiko once baptized Giraffie's daughter with a cup of water from the bathroom. I had such an excellent memory for the exact words of the service that she will probably actually go to heaven.
It was during a real-life reenactment that Keiko and Giraffie got married.
I had just been in a weeding as a 'junior bridesmaid' (read: glorified flower girl) and I was anxious to reenact it at home. I didn't even think about the fact that Keiko and Giraffie were both boys - I just put Giraffie's blanket on Keiko's head to be the veil, and the proud groom gladly waited at the altar while Keiko 'swam' down the aisle, closely followed by his son and daughter throwing paper petals. Giraffie's daughter even brought two rings - not that either of them were physically capable of wearing rings, but it's the thought that counts.
The funny thing was, it didn't have to be Giraffie and Keiko. At the time I had a pair of horse stuffed animals (Freckles and Socks) who were both girls. At the time, I also played with the two of them more than I played with Giraffie. It could have been Freckles marrying Keiko.
But it was Giraffie. Freckles was actually the pastor. (I'm now convinced that Socks and Freckles were, respectively, a butch lesbian and a femme lesbian 100% in love with each other.)
My mom was a little weirded out by the marriage ceremony. "You realize boys can't get married to each other," she said. I was only momentarily stumped.
"Keiko is a girl today," I said. Keiko has never been a girl since - I lied so Keiko and Giraffie could get married.
From about that time on in my play sessions, both sets of kids called both parents "Dad".
For the record, all of this was happening before I had ever heard the words 'gay' or 'homosexual'. My guy whale was in love with a guy giraffe, and hat was perfectly okay with me.
As I got older, I quit playing with my stuffed animals (the exceptions being my dragons Tsarmina and Ivan the Terrible, but we won't talk about them here). I still cuddled with Keiko because he is literally perfect to cuddle, but Giraffie mostly sat on my bed and looked pretty until my restless sleep knocked him off.
Then college came around. It was pretty much a given that I was bringing Keiko (in fact, he went through airport security with me as part of my carry-on).
I wasn't expecting to take any of the others. But as I was packing, I got a sudden flash of insight. Giraffie needed to come with me - I didn't even know why.
It wasn't until I got here that I realized - Giraffie needed to come because he needed to be with his husband.
I kind of want to tell the love story of my stuffed animals Giraffie and Keiko; how I found them both, how they came together, how they eventually got married and adopted kids, how they both came with me to college and are now snuggling with me on my bed...
And if tumblr doesn't want to hear it, I don't think there's anyplace else in the world that would.
